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41 Keys to a successful marriage



keys to a successful marriage

To be successful in life there are keys to need for you to unlock them, likewise, in marriage. for you to have a long-last marriage you need some keys that you’d need to carry you along.

1. Trusting each other:

A popular saying says that trust is the bedrock of any relationship. What is the essence of exchanging vows and accepting to spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t really trust or trusts at all? The answer is NOTHING. In some marriages, there might have been trust at the initial but it was lost because the husband or that wife always gave reason for the other to entertain doubts which in turn gets the other to question bestowing his or her confidence on the other. This lack of trust has always led to a whole lot of marital issues if not fixed on time. The first step in building trust is being transparent and truthful.

2. Same sense of humor: Ladies love a man who can crack a joke, tickle them in the right places, make them laugh, and equally understands when something is a joke and when it’s not. Having a good sense of humor will go a long way in helping you build a happy and dream home that is not all about seriousness, strictness, and business-mindedness. It is said that where there is laughter there is peace and love.

3. Always being honest with each other: Does your wife or husband always have to launch a full-scale investigation into everything you say or do because your word, actions, and inactions always reek of dishonesty? If for any reason a partner considers the other not trustworthy, perhaps because he/she as displayed some level of dishonesty in the past

4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries:

It is always important that we remember our spouse’s birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, and all other things couples celebrate. Most times they might get too busy with work that they don’t remember. Always remind them about it, a gift card, a cake, love letters, playing them their favorite songs, and even taking them on a date can go a long way in spicing things up and keeping the love alive

5. Accepting each other’s faults:

Loving and accepting each other’s faults and understanding different people come with different personalities. All these faults and flaws are the attributes that make us unique. Do not antagonize your husband or wife because they have a little flaw in their physicality or they have misplaced tongue when it comes to pronunciation. Loving your partner means loving of bit of them that has made them stand out whether good or bad

6. Compromising:

We sometimes have to let go some of our values and believes because we want to blend into the lives of our partners. If as a bachelor you used to drink alcohol, smoke, and get in with some other unhealthy activities, we have to learn how to stop. Let’s say your wife dislikes alcohol, and but likes soda and malt. You have to compromise and accommodate with a she-likes. The same is applicable to the ladies, not compromising is making selfish decisions

7. Saying ‘I love you’ regularly:

Nothing rocks a man or woman’s world more than hearing the eight lettered word ‘I love you’, when they least expect to hear it. Always tell them how much you love them because they will never get tired of hearing it. Those words will always remind them of home

8. Knowing when to say sorry:

Saying sorry when it is necessary does not take anything away from you as a man or a woman. Say sorry when you are wrong, when they trip and fall, when they are hurt, in their darkest moments, when never really understand much sorry can do for us until we learn to say sorry. Sorry is a small but powerful word

9. Being able to laugh at each other:

Laughter is a medicine to the soul. Laugh at your partner when they make silly but amusing mistakes, say something funny, or do something funny. Always be able to brandish your 32 for them, because when you are happy they too are equally happy

10. Having a similar outlook on life:

Be able to view life the way your spouse views it. View and always try to understand life from their own perspective. Let’s say your wife believes in fairytales, you have to listen to them understand why they believe in fairytales, and try to make sense of it. If they believe that there are consequences for every action that is taken in life you also have to be of the same idea

11. Regular hugs/cuddles:

Do not be afraid to hug them, hugging does not bite or hurt. The best way to relax and catch feelings is in the arms of your lover. The moments of hugging and cuddling is a moment of boding and never let it lack in our marriage

12. Always kiss each other goodnight:

Kissing your partner goodnight guarantees them a goodnight’s sleep, eases tension and stress levels, helps trigger the hormones that make them look younger, and it makes them dream about you, they wake up happy. A simple thing as a good night kiss can make your spouse serve you breakfast in bed

13. The occasional romantic gesture:

Never you run out of romantic gestures to put on display for your man or woman. Tickle them, hold the car door open for them, always open the door for them, buy them flowers roses, and dazes, fix them a warm bath in a tub or Jacuzzi with the rose petals and some really good fragrances, help them wash their hair, there is a lot of romantic gestures you can possibly think that would appeal to your partner.

14. Considering your partner to be your best friend:

Don’t you ever forget that your partner is your best friend for life, your number one confidence, the only person that loves you in many different ways, your soul mate, the one person that wears their heart out on their sleeves just for you. So always see your partner as your friend a friend you do not intend to lose.

15. Sharing the parenting duties:

When it comes to parenting duties, all hands should be on deck. It takes two persons to make a child but it takes a community to raise a child. Do not be the absent father or mother, take part in parenting. As the husband, you can always drop your kids off at school and also pick them up, help them with their homework, put them to bed, entertain them with really informative stories while they wait for dinner to be ready, and so on. The responsibility shouldn’t be left on the shoulders of one parent

16. Always kiss each other goodbye in the mornings:

Always leave your signature on their lips every morning before leaving for work. That way you ensure that they have a blessed and happy day, set their head straight every morning with a kiss, let the thoughts of your lips on theirs always dominate their thinking throughout the day. Just a kiss

17. Having some shared hobbies and interests:

having similar hobbies and interests will go a long way in making your marriage more adventurous and interesting. Both of you should have a flair for activity, it might be poker, board games, swimming, xbox, and other stuff like that. Whenever you get into activities like this you tend to discover that those moments are moments of bonding.

18. Always talk about a problem rather than bottling it up:

Do not bottle up anger or pretend that what they did or say do not hurt you. Try your best to straighten issues out before retiring to bed, they say a problem shared is half solved. So instead of bottling your feelings talk about your feelings, that way you can be on the same page with your spouse.

19. Ask each other about their day:

Relax and listen to your partner as they rant and foams about how much of a jerk their boss is. Allow them to tell you how the lazy cleaner spilled soup water on their desk and how they yelled their lungs out. Listen to the fun adventures that took place throughout the day and also tell them how good yours was. Being a good listener is better than being a sweet talker

20. Regular sex:

Regular sex is a key to a happy marriage. Have sex on a regular, when we say regularly when don’t mean boring and one-sided sex where only one partner is satisfied in the end. Spice up your sex life. And men always try to make your wife orgasm. Women love a man who knows how to manipulate their body in the right ways. Kiss and touch the right spots to see how they would squirm in ecstasy. Ask your wife and husband how the like, rough or slow, their favorite position, if they like oral sex always give them it, you have to make them always want more when it’s over

21. Having some different hobbies and interests:

Although you both should have similar dreams and aims. It isn’t compulsory that both of you must have similar hobbies and interests. But having similar hobbies doesn’t make your marriage a boring one. Both partners just have to find a way to make it work.

22. Knowing when to give each other some space:

understand your partner’s body language and facial expressions. Always give them space whenever they need quietness and solitude and do not push too hard when they say they want to be alone.

23. Having similar aims and ambitions:

couples should have similar dreams and ambitions, that way they would feel and understand that they are going through life alone. People are normally connected to each other by aims and ambitions. So individuals that have nothing in common can’t possibly stand the test of time in marriage.

24. Continuing to make an effort to look nice for your partner:

most cheating partners will most times say that their partner stops looking good, they don’t dress fine like they used to do before, they put on weight, and so on. Keep a loving look for your husband or wife. Ignite their innermost desires with your looks and charms, like we said before don’t ever lose those charms and wits that keep them attracted to you.

25. Getting on with each other’s family:

To a lot of people, family comes first and they do not appreciate anybody who doesn’t get a lot with their family members. So it is important that you do not rub off on your partner’s close family member the wrong way. Try to at least make a get along with the family members that are important to them.

26. Holding hands when you are out and about:

hold hands with them when you are out, women tend to squirm for men who publicly show affection to them. Hold hands with her and gently squeeze their hands, let them feel warm and secure in your hands. Regularly kiss their hands at intervals

27. Regularly complimenting each other:

regularly compliment your spouse, compliment her about how good she looks, how a wonderful cook she is, tell him how handsome he is, shower them with the most amazing words you can ever find in your vocabulary reserve. If you don’t tell them that they complete your world, someone else is definitely be complimenting them, and the outcome might not be too pleasant for you.

28. Two TVs in the house:

a lot of marriage has been taken to courts for dissolution because of a simple tv show. Men can’t afford to miss their EPL games and women can’t let go of their favorite zee world, Telemundo and telenovela. So to avoid unnecessary fight and arguments it is advisable to have two TVs at home

29. Still shaving/grooming:

always shave regularly, look clean and fresh for your husband or wife. Those attributes that made them get attracted to you should be left behind because you finally succeeded in wooing them with those well-trimmed beards or the carved eyelashes. Keep your pubic region clean, your armpits shouldn’t be too bushy, throw on some perfumes smell well as much as you can. Do not lose your charms and wits

30. Having regular nights out with friends, without your partner:

do not be too clingy with your partner, always give them the needed space to hang out the family and friends. Remember that their world doesn’t stop because you come around, they probably had a lifestyle before they met you, though they will have to forgo some habits. But you still have to let them into some old habits that are not harmful, like going out with friends.

31. Surprise gifts/presents:

thrill your partners with spontaneous gifts. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an expensive gift package. They say that it’s the little thing we do is that matters, so always understand that the best gifts are given from the heart and also received from the heart. Learn to always accept the little gift that your partner gives to you.

32. Not being friends with ANY ex-partners on Facebook:

Keep all your EX’s far away from yourself and your partner. The simplest text message or voice notes such as “I miss you” can set the marriage you have built for a long time crumbling to the ground. Leave your past at the past, you have to believe that your exes can never have your best interest at heart. So to avoid putting yourself on the spot, stay away from your ex’s.

33. A rota to divide up the household chores:

household chores, housekeeping, and management should be a shared responsibility. The woman shouldn’t be the work course of the house, men should always help out the best way they can. Do you know how romantic it is for your woman to walk in on you in the kitchen seeing you doing the dishes? A lot of women would kill to have a man like that. So with that said, household activities shouldn’t be the woman’s responsibility alone.

34. Regular date nights:

Make out time to take your wife/husband on a date. Take out to see the fountains, cinemas, zoos, a restaurant, even ride on the merry go round wheels with them. Buy the chocolates and flowers while on the date. Make them feel special

35. Two bathrooms/toilets:

Having separate bathrooms and toilets does not help in strengthening the bond, closeness and intimacy between partners. Bath them and bath together, because it is good for your marriage

36. Not having one person hogging the remote control:

Always try to have similar working hours. Do not be at home when your wife/husband is at work. Or close off at work a lot earlier than your spouse. If you do as the man always head to her workplace and pick her up and walk or drive home together while chit chatting or enjoying the silence. It means a lot to women

37. Similar working hours:

having similar working hours doesn’t necessarily mean that both of you should start work at the same time and close at the same time. It means one shouldn’t be working at odd hours such as midnight or even working during public holidays and during family weekends. It is important that we understand that family comes first.

38. Knowing each other’s passcode for their phone:

If your cellphone is not a ticking time bomb that will blow up your marriage when it is not a passcode with heavy encryption codes then don’t lock your phone and not allow them to know your code. Always grant them free access into your gadgets If you have nothing to hide, this would make them last suspicious of you

39. A secret stash of cash they know nothing about:

Do not have secret cash somewhere in the name of contingency. Having a secret stash of cash somewhere can only suggest that you are not honest or that you are cheating. Do not stash money away, all cash and valuables should always be brought to the notice of your partners

40. Keeping some things private (not going to the toilet in front of each other etc):

Always try to not overexpose your disgusting sides to your partner. Do not use the toilet in their presence because it might disgust them seeing someone they adore as an angel messing up.

41. A night or two a week where neither of you uses computers/laptops/phones etc:

modern marriages have now being overrun by gadgets, phones, laptops, and social media. Nowadays everything and everybody is all about chasing the clout. Surprisingly 21st-century marriages now compete on who’s lifestyle is going to trend the most on the social media space. Do not present a united front to the media, meanwhile in reality you don’t even remember your husband or wife’s birthday all because we now rely on Facebook to remind us. Put those fancy gadgets away, the iPhones and MacBooks won’t miss you. Your spouse needs you, your partner misses you.

ALSO, READ Relationship and Marriage  Quotes by Reno Omokri


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Marriage & Divorce

Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney



Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney


Going through a divorce without legal help is like committing financial suicide. You might be thinking of going through your divorce on your own
and just using information that you can research online but that can do more harm than good. Though a DIY divorce may apply to certain situations,
it is still smarter to hire a divorce attorney to ensure that your best interests are taken into consideration. Keep reading for reasons why hiring a divorce
attorney could be one of your best divorce decisions.

You Want to Eliminate Mistakes

“The legal system is complicated enough to navigate for those who have a legal degree, so navigating it from a layman’s perspective is like trying to pilot a plane without even knowing how to ride a bike”, says Michael Porter of Haywood Hunt & Associates Inc.

Legal jargon can be very challenging. It can take just one word for you to completely misunderstand something (like a debt or medical issue) or overestimate/underestimate the value of an asset. This is the last thing you want. Why? Because mistakes like this can cause your financial ruin or may need to be corrected with more legal proceedings in the future. An attorney can ensure that your case is being handled properly and that you will not be making decisions that you will regret for years to come.

You Will Benefit from Legal Advice

A divorce attorney can ensure that you get what you deserve during a divorce. This is important because state laws do not always support an even split of a couple’s assets. There are cases where a spouse is entitled to a spouse’s future income and/or retirement. By hiring an attorney, you ensure that complicated issues such as debts, child custody, current assets, future assets, and child support are legally addressed.

You Want to Minimize Stress

Divorce is a highly stressful time. Not only will it be addressing the end of your marriage, but might also bring up painful experiences from the past. A divorce attorney will provide objective help in gathering information, presenting information, and representing your interests. This will give you more time to process your feelings and take care of yourself and your family.

Keep in mind that a divorce will be a very painful time and the last thing youneed is to have to take on legal work. That is what an attorney is for.

You Don’t Want Delays

Completing all the paperwork needed for a divorce plus gathering information and documenting everything isn’t an easy task. Yes, there are court provided documents but that is just a small percentage of what you actually need. Aside from paperwork, there are other legal issues that can prolong a divorce or halt the progress into a crawl. An experienced divorce attorney knows how to avoid problems like the above and get things done as fast as possible.

You Want A Clear Divorce

A divorce is a legal agreement and is legally binding. You want everything in your divorce to be as clear as possible and that each point that needs to be
addressed are taken care of. A divorce attorney will ensure that your wishes are accurately presented and that you understand everything that goes into
the divorce. This way, the divorce would be free from unclear language or errors.


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Marriage & Divorce

What to Look for in a Wife TO MARRY



what to look for in a wife

Before getting married to the love of your life as a man, questions like “what to look for in a wife?” Will definitely arise. The ideal woman for Everyman differs. Some may say they want a skinny lady, or a fat girl, if you could hear some of the things said by MEN, as per what they want, you’d be shocked.

Choosing a life partner is a major decision taken by man, here he selects one lady over a bunch of them. Marriage is a lifetime race, and when it’s not been run properly, it could lead to a broken home. Nobody wants a broken home. Everyone wants to live happily ever after. When you choose the wrong partner, it may take you years to correct, or even spending all your life trying to put things in proportion. A marriage that is not Divinely approved will end in divorce, emotional pains, and suffering.

It is therefore important to choose wisely. Before you choose to marry any lady make sure that she is Kind of person, never you force yourself on her just because you think she’s the most beautiful lady on planet Earth or you wanna marry her because she’s a model.
In life generally, if you want to buy something expensive, you don’t just rush in purchasing it. for instance, if you’re trying to buying used car worth $40,000 for yourself, there are things you need to look out for in the car before buying it. You’ll need to check stuffs like the * * vehicle history- you’ll need to make sure that the vendor is not selling a stolen car. Through the use of VIN, you can actually check if the car has been in an accident.
• You can check how efficient the engine is- this would be better if you go with an motor engineer (i.e the mechanic). In order not to bore you with these,the main message is to carefully search what’s needed.
So, If you’ve been asking questions like What qualities should I look for in a wife? Then keep reading this article .

6 Things To Look For In A Wife

Like we said in the beginning, men have different tastes when choosing women, but we’re going to bring out the most important thing to look for when hunting for a wife. They are things that you must consider without looking back.



I’ve always told my friends that if I want to marry, I must marry someone who I’m deeply attracted to. Yes! She may have all the wife material features, but bro, if she isn’t so attracted to you, I’ll advise you to leave her. Attraction isn’t everything but it’s something.

You may say, she’s beautiful, she has the qualities of a good wife, she’s just so perfect in her ways… but if you’re not attracted to her it may lead to another problem in future.
A girl once crushed on me years back! I noticed she had every quality that a good mother should possess but the problem actually was that I wasn’t attracted to her… I vividly know that if I end up marrying her, I would cheat on her like I never had a wife.

If you aren’t comfortable hanging out with your woman or introducing her to your friends, then I’m sorry to give you the breaking news, “Leave her Alone”, this may be very hard for you.. it was hard for me when I decided to make my own decisions, but the good news is that you’ll overcome.
It is very good to foresee because, if you’re marrying her because she is skinny, her body morphology may change with the season, she may run out of your taste!!
Marry someone who you know with or without her body changing drastically, you’ll still fall for her. Attraction goes beyond the physical structure, it’s more of a psychological feature, so be wise!!!!!!

2. She brings out the Best in You

Wow!! This is also an important factor in what to look for in a wife… one important question to ask yourself is “does my woman brings out the best in you?” Not all women have the capability. If you have one like this, then you’ll need to hold her really tight..

Some women may just decide to focus on just themselves, but a woman who’s really interested in you will want to resharpen and remold you.
If you’ve got the habit of smoking and drinking alcohol all the time, extravagant living, she’ll want to help you in that arena.
One way to know that she really brings out the best in you is that whenever you’re with her, you’re always inspired and you just discovered something just awakened in you.

This kind of woman reinforces your confidence. Here, she’s just like a coach to you. She just has the ability to make your world brighter.
She’s never in to demotivate, instead, she’ll motive and lift your heart’s up…
If you’re in a relationship now and you’ve ever felt like you’re in a prison, then that should be a red flag on your side telling you to run.


3. Find a Wife who’ll Love you Unconditionally

An Ex. Once asked me, Josh!! Why do you love me?? Can you please tell me what you like about me or the major reason why you love me???.. As a relationship expert, you know full well that the answers you make can hurt you or flame up something in the future. Like the cops will always tell any criminal they capture. “ any you say or do, will be used against you in the court of law”.

It’s not bad to give an answer of your choice tho.

Finally, I gave her no answer, I just told her that I don’t have any reason(s) for loving you. that if I do, in the future, if that reason is no longer manifesting, then the love will fade away. I told her I just love her unconditionally.

The word unconditionally has a dictionary meaning: without a condition.
The day I was shocked, was when I saw a lady who married a man in a wheelchair. I wept in my heart. I asked my self does true love like this still exists?? That’s an example of an unconditional love.

When exchanging the marriage vow, the priest usually quote stuff like:

“in riches and in poverty”
“in sickness and in good health”
This was meant to be the true definition of an unconditional love.
Looking for someone who’ll love you unconditionally might be very tough for you. But if you carefully watch her well. You’ll be able to detect it.. an adage says by their fruits, ye shall know them. When the fruits in a mango tree is ripe, It’s always accessible for sightseeing until it’s been plucked.
An unconditional love is a sacred kind of love!! Not everyone in a relationship is lucky to get it. Some actually got it, but screwed things up!
Unconditional love also means putting your partners first, Before putting yourself. You deserve a woman that’ll love you the way you are.

4.Sexual Openness

Sexual compatibility should be one of the TOP 3 discussed topics Before marriage.
It’s very important! I once asked a lady, “how sexual are you? Rate it from 1- 10. She said 3. I was shocked, I just told myself deep down, that i cant be with such a fellow!!.

She told me she isn’t a Fan of sex!!! Although research and statistics have proven that sex wanes and waxes at different stages of life. For instance, the sex drive for nursing mother’s periodically low.

If you’re a man who’s practicing abstinence from sex with your partner before marriage, then this issue of sexual openness needs to be taken very seriously.
And if you’re a man who’s so crazy about sex and wants more in marriage, then you’ll need to look for a woman who has a healthy sex life that discusses sex openly, in other not to fall into a sexless marriage.

Find out little things like “does she love kissing?😘”, would she want to explore the world of sex?.
Being so religious shouldn’t make you shy from the REAL TRUTH.
When you fail in this aspect, you’ll be left with no choice rather than to cheat.

5. intellectual and Educational Compatibility

intellectual and Educational Compatibility

It has never been in the dictionary of some educated men to marry a lady that is not educated.
Education shouldn’t be something you place so much value on over intelligence. Education can never be substituted for intelligence!!
Whenever a man feels his woman is less Intelligent and educated than him, if they tend to marry, the man will definitely maltreat her.
However, such men would find it very hard to let their wives make key decisions about child-rearing, money management etc if they doubt their wives’ intelligence.

6.Marry Your type

Marrying your type means you should look for a wife that has similar traits, characteristics, and personality. If you’re an extroverted man and you’re not really comfy handling an introvert, then you shouldn’t run into marriage with her. Marriage shouldn’t be something that will bore you. Having a partner that you can’t have a long conversation with would be boring especially you’re the type that loves talking a lot.

These are some funny answers that Joshua Isibor– A relationship Coach, got when he asked some guys the kind of lady that they want..

“ I want a woman that loves drinking alcohol”
“ I want a lady who smokes”
“I also want a lady who is good in bed”

The goal here is to find someone that’s like a best friend to you: someone that you’re free with.

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Marriage & Divorce

Modern day definition of marriage





 What is marriage?

Marriage is a symbolic union between a man and woman, it involves two people unanimously coming together as husband and wife. Marriage is a sacred union between two parties (male and female). By the word sacred, I mean sacrosanct, divine, holy, inviolable, and consecrated, it’s a union to be valued, cherished, adored, and respected by the two persons involved.

Marriage is sweet, interesting, lovely, and appreciated if and only if the two parties agree to make it work. You can make your marriage be how you want it, but the question is are you ready and willing to pay the prize? Are you just after the rosy part of marriage?

Before going into this union called marriage, there are some questions you should ask yourself and answer by yourself.

asking questions like

Questions like:

🌟 What exactly is marriage?

🌟 Am I ready for marriage?

🌟 How prepared am I for marriage?

🌟 What knowledge have I acquired about marriage?

🌟 What exactly am I after in marriage, (companionship or procreation or both)?

🌟 Do I really love this person I want to settle down with?

🌟Am I financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stable to get married?

🌟 Can I withstand the ups and downs in marriage?

🌟 Can I tolerate my partner’s excesses?


These questions and more are very important for you to meditate on and answer sincerely before you work down the aisle and say “Yes I do”.

Questions to ask before getting married

1.What exactly is marriage?

Like I said earlier, marriage is a union,a sacred one between two people who agree to be joined in holy matrimony. Presently, people have a different picture of marriage entirely. Before you make up your mind to get married, you should and must have a good knowledge of marriage, because when you have a proper understanding of what you are going into, you will surely know how to perform your duties as expected.

Marriage is a union created by God for man, for the sole reason of companionship and procreation. Your union brings you together, to help, appreciate, love, understand each other as soulmates. Your purpose of getting married should be known, either for companionship or procreation or both. If this is not stated as it suits you both, the purpose of your marriage will be lost.

This is where most couples make mistakes, they fail to define what kind of relationship they want or how their marriage will look like. They just jump into marriage with little or no knowledge of what marriage is.

Marriage goes beyond the union of coming together as husband and wife, as couples you are meant to complete, assist and help each other in all ramifications. It is a blissful union meant for soulmates (Divinely connected) to fill in the gap for each other. You practically help each other grow and make yourselves happy, through commitment, love, affection, care, and standing for each other.


2.Am I ready for marriage?

How ready are you for marriage? are you actually prepared for marriage or wedding? Maybe you are just after the beautiful wedding shower, accessories, wedding party etc. A lot of people are only preparing or are prepared for a wedding, not marriage. They only have an idea of how to get beautiful stuff for their wedding but know little or nothing of the beautiful things to spice their marriage and make it work.

So are you really ready for marriage? Or you are just prepared to flaunt your wedding outfits instead of your marriage to be a model of example to others and encourage people to build and have a beautiful healthy marriage.


3.How prepared am I for marriage

Are you ready to support your partner? In marriage you look out for your soulmate, you are no longer alone, you now have someone to care for, are you ready to be a shoulder your partner can lean on? can you stand for your partner and defend him/ her? Can you be someone to hold on to?

Are you ready to perform the duties expected of you as a wife or a husband? answer these questions before you accept that marriage proposal. Marriage has a lot of commitment, you should be ready to make sacrifices and be committed to each other.

4.What knowledge have I acquired about marriage?

Knowledge is power, the level of information you have about something determines how well you perform, marriage is like a school, but here you don’t graduate,”No graduation in marriage”.You continue to learn and make adjustments where necessary. Your knowledge about marriage will determine if your marriage will be successful or not.

Note: Knowledge here, is not just any form of fabricated information, it must be the right information, not all knowledge are helpful, some can destroy your marriage.

Seek knowledge from the right source, read books and learn from people whose marriage are glowing and fruitful.

5.What exactly am I after in marriage (Companionship and procreation)

Marriage is solely for the purpose of procreation and companionship, but this can be determined by you and your partner. Discuss what you want. If you guys want to bear kids or not.

A lot of people have issues in their homes because they failed to discuss some crucial things about what they want in a marriage. Your goal about marriage should be in line with that of your partner, selfish reasons should not come in. Two must agree to become one, in marriage, you must agree on what you guys want and need.

ALSO, READ Before marriage questions for a healthy relationship

6.Do I really love this person I want to settle down with?

Love is a feeling, an emotion felt. inwardly, it connects you to your partner. Love is a great attraction. You must love your partner enough for you to spend the rest of your life with. The love you have for your partner should not be based on selfish reasons, true love that keeps you guys going even in tough times.

Love strengthens, heals, and binds you together. If you love shallowly your union will be shallow and not productive. When I say love I mean deep and affectionate love for your partner, which assures security, approval, and commitment, without this kind of love you can’t be committed to your partner.

Love is not selfish, hurtful, deceitful, painful, wickedness, but love is joy, peace, in-depth happiness, sacrifice, and commitment. When you love genuinely your partner becomes your major priority.


7.Am I financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stable to get married?

married couples on top of money

What is your financial status like? Can you boast of taking care of yourself how much more another person? Your financial state counts before you consider marriage, you can’t be planing to get married and you have a lot of unpaid bills.Financial crisis has become the order of the day in most homes which sometimes leads to divorce, you should consider your income because you have a lot of needs and bills to take care of together.

Emotional stability affects your marriage positively or negatively, if you are still emotionally broken, it’s not advisable to go into marriage, if your heart is filled with hatred, then deal with it first. Don’t go into marriage in such a state, else how do you intend to show love, when you can’t let go of the past hurts.

Your physical stability, both health-wise, & mentally, all together are what makes you complete as a human. Your brain must be active and ready to settle with your partner.

Spiritually, do you guys connect body, spirit, and soul? You must be at the same level in this aspect else your relationship will suffer.


8.Can I tolerate the ups and downs in marriage?

Marriage is full of ups and downs, the moment you acknowledge that all your marital fears are over. You and your partner are two polar different people with a different temperament, personality, and character, you should be ready to tolerate the different phases that show up in your marriage.

Every marriage has its beautiful moment and challenging moment, your ability to withstand, tolerate, and solve your problems together makes your marriage to be successful and unique.


9.Can I tolerate my partner’s excesses?

Like I mentioned earlier, you and your partner are two polar opposite people, what you like might be what he or she dislikes. Marriage creates room for adjustments where and when necessary, you must learn to tolerate, understand and adjust because marriage is for better or worse till death do you part.

You are not perfect neither is your partner but you can make a perfect marriage by having mutual respect, being committed, understanding, and having affection for each other.


 Modern-day marriage in the present society

Most marriages today have become a charade, couples now take marriage as employment. when they are fed up, they quit and seek for another partner, like a job hunter, but the question is how long will you continue to “Spouse hunt”.”

Marriage is not a bed of roses”, but today most people have failed to understand this fact, you can’t possibly get everything you wished for, no one is perfect, you are not also perfect, that your partner has some flaws is not enough reason to leave because you don’t know how the next person you are “Spouse hunting for” will be, even flaws has it’s benefits, for example, stubborn people are good decision makers and overly organized people are good at paying bills on time.

Majority don’t put into consideration these things mentioned above, that is why most marriages are suffering today and the rate of divorce cases is increasing by the day. Marriage is now assumed to be a contract, when you have finally gotten what you want selfishly or you are tired or no longer satisfied with the said contract, you file for a divorce.

ALSO, READ God promises in marriage

Marriage has lost its sense of value and dignity, they say is not a do-or-die affair and as such no mutual respect, understanding, genuine love and affection, tolerance, honesty, sincerity, and fidelity. Which are basically the building blocks for a healthy and happy marriage. Couples fail to understand the importance of the fundamentals of marriage, they want everything at a plater of gold, no one wants to pay the price and make sacrifices that will make the marriage blissful. Marital issues are not settled, instead of sorting things out maturely and amicably, matters of importance or concern are swept under the rug.

Communication gap is a major barrier in marriage, lack of communication destroys relationships and no matter what you do, the bond that once existed begins to diminish. Couples live their lives based on assumption, you assume your partner is supposed to know and actually he or she doesn’t. Men and women reason, react and behave differently, the male psychology is different from that of females. You may feel your actions are right but in the sight of your partner it’s wrong and hurtful and you wouldn’t know without proper communication.

When last did you care about your partner’s emotions before acting? you only care about yourself and how things dim fit to you. Love is meant to be mutual, caring, and respectful, and if you can’t treat your partner right then it’s no longer love.

happy couple

Marriage has become a game and a field for infidelity, couples have turned their union as a means for gambling, they gamble with their partner’s emotions. Faithfulness is a key factor for a successful marriage. When one party decides to break that vow, marriage crisis arises. You can’t possibly love your partner and continually cheat on them, knowing it will break them into pieces. Infidelity breaks the marriage bond. Cheating is not a gender thing, man or woman none is permitted to cheat, or have a better reason to cheat. Your marital vow is to be faithful to your partner till death do you part. Infidelity sows a seed of discord in marriage. The joy and peace of marriage are lost when one party becomes unfaithful.

The issue of disrespect has become a thorn in the flesh in marriage, couples fail to acknowledge the importance of mutual respect.” Respect is reciprocal” is not meant for a particular gender. Most couples lack this attribute, they have little or no respect for their spouse, they speak to their partner so rudely even in public. They practically abuse their partner and criticize whatever they do, not minding their feelings.

Never deny your partner the respect they deserve, but mind you respect is given to whom respect is due, so for you to be respected you must earn it. You don’t expect your partner to respect you when you don’t behave responsibly, you must be worthy of respect first before you can be respected because your responsible attitude triggers respect from your partner.

This generation is so proud that when you emphasize on respect.  they don’t even see why respect should be a matter of concern in marriage. The fact that you both are married and have become one doesn’t mean you should not value, appreciate and respect your partner. Respect is an asset in Marriage, it’s one of the key factors that determine the life span of your marriage.

Marriage is a blessing and as such demands a lot of sacrifices, if you don’t truly have your partner at heart you will never see the reason to make sacrifices. Some couples are so self-centered, all they know is how to satisfy and please themselves, they can never compromise when necessary just to make their partner happy but they would want their partner to always please them whether it’s convenient for them or not. You can’t expect to receive when you don’t give out. You receive what you give, when you become selfish your marriage becomes stunted.

Family crisis is inevitable but it becomes a tug of war when there is no commitment. How committed are you to your partner? Are you committed with time? Are you committed to your partner’s needs? Do you really care about your partner?

Whenever you plan to go out on a date, do you always keep to time or you show up late or you don’t show up at all. when you can’t make it do you give notice before time or you just ignore it? Do you apologize when you are wrong or you wait to be told before you reluctantly apologize without being remorseful? These are questions you should ask yourself and answer sincerely, your level of commitment ascertains how successful your marriage will be.

For your marriage to work, there must be mutual commitment, you plan together, agree together, and execute your plans together as one. Instead of couples agreeing they continually disagree and fight at every slightest provocation over something that can be easily handled. The day you “Say I do” you have signed up for a total commitment to your partner.

ALSO, READ 41 Keys to a successful marriage


Today couples don’t see the reason to fight for each other and make their marriage work, marriage is now seen as a car or clothes you can easily change when it’s faded or obsolete. Divorce has become a very good option, am not saying there are no good reasons to divorce which could be as a result of infidelity or abuse.

Marriage requires a lot of work to make it work, you don’t give up working, even when everything seems well, you still need to work and nurture your marriage.

Marriage is like a farmland where a farmer cultivates crops, the amount of work he puts in determines the type and quantity of crops he will harvest, and even after harvesting, he stores the crops to avoid spoilage. Marriage should be guided by jealousy, if you can’t put in your best then you can’t expect a blissful marriage.

Your partner should be your major priority, they are to be valued and cherished and not to be treated like a handbag that can be dumped after been used to your satisfaction. Marriage is a lifetime journey and commitment, you don’t just discard it because you don’t feel that person anymore. Your partner is your better half and bet me, you can’t discard your better half because you don’t feel like keeping it anymore.

“Marriage is like a “SIM Card” and the SIM’s network, Marriage is the sim card and your partner is like the network” no matter how old the sim card looks you don’t discard or let go, even if the network fluctuates and is unstable, you are always patient enough to wait for it to stabilize, reason because the “SIM card” is important to you, you have a lot of info stored inside and so you wouldn’t let it go.

Patience is a virtue needed in marriage and as a couple, if you lack this, your marriage can never be blissful. Couples are so quick to file for a divorce even when they can calm their storm amicably.

Most people before marriage already concealed divorce in their mind, they already have the mindset that once you fall out of love with your partner, or you are no more attracted to your partner, or you guys have unresolved issues then you can file for a divorce. Such people can never be committed in their marriage, they feel is not so important, so once they are tired with their partner they just take a walk in another direction.

Marriage is actually “for better for worse”. you are the only one that can determine the state of your marriage. If you want the best then put in your best. Every marriage has its own storm, your duty is to calm the storm and let peace come in and not to ignore the storm or abandon your partner.

People have become so accustomed to quitting, this a selfish generation where people are so concerned about themselves. People are so career and socially conscious forgetting about family. Gone are the days when people value family and put them first. We have become so selfish that we only care about ourselves and leave our loved ones behind. I am not saying you shouldn’t pursue your career, but the issue of the “me! me!! me!!” mentality has eaten us so deep that commitment is no more valued, they are only after what they want and can get which can be correlated to the failed marriages and increase in divorce cases. If you so see marriage as an investment then being committed and putting in enough work would mean a good dividend in your marriage. Compromise is a difficult concept when it’s so easy to quit, when you can’t have your way, if we can’t let go of our selfish desires, then there will be an increase in failing marriage and divorce will be inevitable.


 the ideal kind of marriage?

The ideal kind of marriage is not all about respect, love, flirting around, having a fun time together, it also involves disagreeing and agreeing. Marriage is not all about butterflies and rainbows, but going through all that and still being committed to each other, coming out and holding hands on the other side of the wind is rainbows and butterflies and unicorns too.

An ideal marriage is a marriage where both parties have mutual respect, understands, and are committed to each other, stand by each other, tolerate, being sincere, faithful, and honest to each other. These things are the key players for a healthy relationship and Marriage. It might sound antiquated but you will agree with me, it’s better to have a peaceful and happy marriage than going through the process of divorce.

An ideal marriage doesn’t lack sincere communication. communication is the only means you can share your feelings, discuss and settle your differences. We blame technology for the cause of the communication gap, people no more sit face to face to listen to their loved ones, they prefer social media communication. The act of visual communication makes it easier to express yourself and your emotions are seen and felt from your facial expressions and body language.

The communication gap breaks the union and bond and slowly the love you once felt is gone, communication strengthens marriage when there is a crisis. Disagreeing to agree, accepting that you are at fault, and taking corrections without mixed feeling makes your relationship stronger and healthier.

ALSO, READ Causes of Lack of communication problem in marriage and in relationships


Food for thought

🌟 Love is not a foundation for marriage, but marriage is a foundation for love. Love alone cannot guarantee a peaceful marriage.

🌟 Understanding, faithfulness, trust, patience, unity, honesty are the key players for a successful marriage

🌟 Communication is one of the building blocks for a healthy marriage

🌟 Beauty only attracts but virtues keep the marriage.

🌟 There is no graduation in marriage, you keep learning.

🌟 Marriage requires a lot of work, you never stop working.

🌟 Commitment is an obligation or duty for couples to build a strong relationship.

🌟 Divorce should not be an option,try to work out your marriage.

🌟 Make the right choice of a life partner, never settle with someone for selfish reasons.

🌟 Learn to forgive always.

🌟 Make your partner your major priority.

🌟 Learn to always agree even after disagreeing.

🌟 Avoid pretentious attitude in courtship, be yourself, let your partner see and accept you for who you are.


A Little more piece

Marriage is a divine union of holy matrimony, love alone cannot sustain a marriage. Your commitment, understanding, fidelity, sincerity, and respect for each other are what will keep you going. Divorce should never be an option, except in cases of infidelity and abuse. Above all learn to forgive and always prioritize your partner in your life, be ready and willing to listen to your partner, and together always agree and treat each other as one.

Your marriage can become the best and exactly what you wished for if only you are ready to work and be committed to each other.

Lastly, no marriage is without storms, because you are two different people with different temperament, character, personality, and backgrounds, be willing to complete each other and make adjustments where necessary, always remember marriage is a lifetime commitment and investment and if you so believe it’s an investment then put in your best to get a positive outcome. Spice up your marriage and let it be a model for others.



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