WHAT DO YOU CALL A MISTAKE?
When a young girl said she got pregnant by mistake, what exactly does she mean?
When a young lad says he mistakenly got someone pregnant what exactly does he mean?
A particular joke that was trending on social media was like “were you working on the road and a penis just lost its focus and got into you and fertilized your ovaries?” and vice versa for the male folks. What were you thinking? That you would have unprotected sex (that is even if there is anything like protected sex because the contraceptives can protect you from pregnancy or physical diseases but what protects you from the spiritual effects?) with someone who you are not married to and you ask how the pregnancy happened?
Many questions that youths ask are utterly stupid because there are things that are very clear and obvious, in fact, they are rocket science yet people would rather feign ignorance or live in denial of the same only to come back and cry woe.
There are natural laws that operate on earth and God has put in place to regulate human and non-human activities in other for the earth to maintain its balance and order.
Just like the law of gravity, they are laws that are made by God that are not subject to change and so cannot be changed because these laws regulate the earth and ensure order, beauty, and connection on the earth
The Law of gravity states that whatever goes up must come down. Till today, despite all these scientific successes, a machine is yet to be discovered that will go up and never come down. The earth rotates around the sun and till tomorrow no amount of science can change that, instead, scientific discoveries are built on that premise, and instead of scientists trying to change these natural laws, they rather look for ways to circumvent them. Nonetheless, they must definitely pay heed to these laws using them as a basis for their researches.
Whereas, we see most Christians flagrantly ignore these natural laws and still want to avoid its results or consequences, feign surprise or call it an accident when these natural laws are triggered and its natural results follow. Some Christians resort to praying and fasting, they want to pray God out of his laws. Objectively looking at it, it is very ridiculous. Let’s look at some of these natural laws.
In the same light, a functional sperm that meets with an ovary and gets it fertilized, all things being equal, it becomes a zygote, then a foetus and finally a child. These things are rocket science, natural laws that are not subject to change. For a sperm to fertilize an egg, it needs to pass through the uterus and not through the mouth. So no matter how much sperm a lady gulps down her throat and takes in as food, it is not capable of fertilizing her ovaries There are certain things that God has just made the way they should be and when we chose to ignore these laws and keep flouting them, then no amount of prayers and fasting would change the effects of these laws, because they are God-made laws for crying out loud! And God who made them is not stupid. We are made to obey these laws; thus, ignorance of the law is certainly not an excuse.
The fact that you don’t know if you throw something up, it will come down does and will definitely not stop what you throw up from falling and the fact that a child does not know that pepper inside the eye is painful does not mean that if he puts his peppery hands in his eyes he would not feel pains. These things are just natural. Natural laws are universal and do not look faces in its application.
The law of attraction is one of these laws. When a man and a woman spends all their time or so much time together and they just keep being together, they practically do everything together then they would automatically start liking each other and if they are not blood relations or siblings, they would naturally begin to grow feelings for one another, like these persons would begin to feel attached. They get so fond of each other and fondness hardly ever stops at fondness between two normal persons of the opposite sex. Funny enough, it does not even matter if all they do together is to quarrel or get on each other’s throat if they are consistent in sharing their time and resources together then fondness begins to accumulate and once they grow so fond of each other then certain other feelings may just begin to pop up.
Another is when a man and a woman/ boy and girl always meet secretly: It may be for any reason, maybe they are trying to avoid people’s gossip, plan an event, pull off a surprise name it. Especially in instances where they are friends (like each other) but their church, fellowship or parents is not letting them see each other irrespective of the minds that their intentions towards each other are pure and their need to together drive them into private or secret meetings. The moment this duo begins to stay together in private or secret especially in the dark behind closed doors all by themselves with no third party…Hallelujah, serious condition! Their hormones will begin to be released and feelings start getting in causing a highly dense sexual attraction between them and if no immediate action is taken about this and they continue these secret meetings, I cannot assure they will stay clear from sexual immorality in its entirety.
A friend of mine would usually say, “see danger and apply caution!”
Let me share this particular experience with you,
We had this Christian brother whose love for God was unmistaken. His zeal and steadfastness in the things of God was second to none. He always wore this medal that was so big and conspicuous and he had the absolute trust of all around. Parent’s usually committed their wards both male and female to him because he was a strict disciplinarian and a no-nonsense person, besides he taught in a boarding school and lived in the teacher’s quarters. There was this particular girl who came into the school and just like many other parents, her parents put her under his care. Uncle “cared” so much for this particular girl that students got uncomfortable.
She would always be in his room at all hours of the day. She was practically doing her functions there and all school functions that Uncle was given. She automatically played the role of his auxiliary.
She would be seen in Uncle’s room in the morning before breakfast and assembly, in the afternoon after school, in the evening during games or labor and even in the night before night prep and sometimes during night prep.
Everyone was feeling so uncomfortable with this but I think the religious and moral standing of uncle let everyone still give him the benefit of the doubt. It was not so long, rumor had it that aunty student had been put in a family way. Who was responsible?
Church has dismissed. People seemed all surprised and shocked but I was none of this. Truthfully speaking, I expected that news earlier, I think Uncle really tried abi they both really tried to wait till that point that is of course if they were not using contraceptives all along and the sexual activity between them just began or happened. I didn’t expect it earlier because I am a bad person or I delight in bad news but because the circumstances obviously pointed to same results.
So, when people where frowning at Uncle and dropping statement like “even with all his church”, “that one that dresses and acts like second Jesus”, I just knew better. Uncle had something in between his legs and that thing is not a log of wood. Aunty had something in between her legs and that thing is not just an ornament out there for decoration. These things have their functions and are capable of delivering these functions in all efficiency. So please spare me that holier than thou attitude.
Spirituality does not cancel sexuality.
What do you even think when the bible says that Jesus was tempted in all ramification as we are, don’t you know that Jesus himself was tempted sexually, if he was all that we are then he must have had erections that were uncalled for, he must have had women flocking around, remember, women easily get attracted to authority and Jesus’ authority is second to none. Jesus shared everything with us except sin.
Hebrews 4:15 We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all – all but the sin.
No wonder the Bible says that we do not have a high priest who is insensitive to our plight, he had seen it all, felt it all and so he knows and understands it all. If Jesus overcame these things and we call ourselves Christians, that is “Christ-like” then we should follow the footprints of our Lord Jesus Christ. We should always be alert just as he was and we should pray at all times without ceasing cause the enemy prowls like a wounded lion seeking for whom to devour. Jesus even in his earthly ministry understood these natural laws and obeyed them and so, he could overcome these temptations.
Don’t flaunt these laws and still expect to overcome temptations, remember a servant can never be greater than his master. If Jesus knew enough to flee, If Jesus was not visiting Mary, Lazarus sister secretly when she was all by herself and without his disciples but would rather come to her family house where Lazarus, Martha and Mary were available, then what are you thinking staying behind closed doors with that brother or sister?
Kissing between two Christian unmarried couple especially in a private place, in fact let us forget the fact that they are Christians. When two normal able bodied male and female kisses what is usually the aftermath? Most times the fact that this two are alone is something the brain gets knowledge of and sends signals to the body.
The adrenaline and other hormone producing agents in the human body begins to release hormones that trigger emotions or feelings which is transferred back to the mind at this point the mind begins to trigger all forms of sexually related thoughts and this is irrespective of your standing spiritually.
Biologically the act of kissing causes the body to release the hormone known as oxytocin which is popularly known as the love hormone. This hormone causes bonding during sex and science has it that this is the same hormone that a mother’s body releases during breastfeeding that triggers the mother and child connection.
This is an obvious natural or biological creation of God to bond couples in their marriage through all sexual acts and the oxytocin released in that event of kissing begins to awaken all the sexual organs and get them ready for sex.
The Christians would often call this the moment of temptation and this thoughts and feelings are usually so strong that most times even as the person(s) in question is trying to control the thoughts or saying “NO!” in his or her mind, the hormones could be so effective or controlling that any additional time spent in that place with that person (that is if both persons have not absolutely decided and very much alert) would amount to the meeting of the lips which we often call “kissing”
Again, let’s get very practical about these things.
When kissing is not done in a very public place does it ever stop at the meeting of the lips?
Of course not. That is just like…. Its idealistic. It is not obtainable, even if the lips meet at first and one person withdraw, if both remain together there then there is every tendency that even the party who withdrew would come back for more this time more aggressively. Most times even when these things happen and one party runs off, if he or she is not totally in control of his or her mind and lets the emotions which is already triggered lord it over him or her then that party may as well likely run back into the arms of the other person even faster than he or she ran off. And this time it usually is not just two lips brushing each other. It goes beyond, the tongues, gums and every part of the mouth including the saliva are involved and it gets as intimate as it can.
Let’s be truthful to ourselves here in answering this question: Does kissing ever just stop at kissing?
Is it possible for two sexually attracted males and females to be together and kiss especially in private and nothing else happens? Just the meeting of the mouths and it stops there?
That is no, No!
Please if you have seen, please show me. I would really love to see because at that heat of passion it never just stops there. Yes, I said never. None that I am aware of. When the lips meet, the hormones get even more triggered. Those ones that were passive before gets triggered and does already triggered gets even more heated up. Then the hands of both parties get to work.
At that point, the hands do not just stay at a place while the mouths kiss. No, the hands of each part begin to find its way around the other party’s body without a particular direction as though it is scampering for something. The female folks would start rubbing the backs of the male folks and the male folks either do the same or in most cases find their hands at the frontal body of the female partner and the most likely place his hands would rest (wait! Did I just say rest? I meant scavenge) is her breasts, then her entire body down to her buttocks.
Uncle will just lose control and his tongues begin to come down from the lips to the neck (necking) then they just find their way to the breast, by this time, Auntie’s nipples have stiffened and almighty uncle becomes a toddler again sucking, apart from the fact that at this time he is not sucking for breastmilk. He gets all over her body, absolutely nothing is left out and at that point or even before this point, while some ladies may survive this or get to this point without getting wet majority of women would have their minds sending signals to their body and their vaginal begins to discharge lubricants making them ready for sex.
As for the male folks, Make I hear say uncle kiss, touch, squeeze and im particulars never do attention. See, the male folks are more vulnerable sexually, a man can be triggered sexually by sight alone. He does not even need to have any bodily contact with the lady in question to have an erection. So, imagine when a man has a bodily contact with a lady he is sexually attracted to, call it kissing or whatever, it is usually very difficult for a man to go through such without an erection because just like it is for the female folks, his brain would send signals to his bodies and his penile organs are ready for penetration whether he is even thinking sex or not.
Many times both parties who just wanted to have just a little kiss end up having just a little “SEX” and other times when there is no vaginal penetration then there is usually just a little from that, normally it ends up a narrow escape. But in this day and time and generation, they still get sexual using oral sex or any other type of sex.
1 Peter 4:3 You’ve already put in your time in that God-ignorant way of life, partying night after night, a drunken and profligate life. Now it’s time to be done with it for good.
Unfortunately, this is the generation where we have sexually active virgins. People that are just technically virgins but have done even more sexual escapades than those who are not virgins.
Christianity or no Christianity these are natural laws.
So next time before you want to ask me, your pastor, mentor, friend or partner if kissing is sin then just know what you are signing up for
The book of Songs of Solomon 8;4 says “Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe – and you’re ready.”
1 Corinthians 6:12 Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.
KJV: All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
If you really want to prove your love for your partner especially if he is a guy, is it best done by giving him an erection if you know that you do not want to have sex with him?
You may end up leading him into a number of sins instead of protecting his soul. Uncle might not have total control of his mind and may get you raped only to end up living in guilt and regret for the whole of his life. He may decide not to force you but decide to expel the sperms already in his erect penis and this would result in masturbation for him, He may quickly find someone else willing to offer him immediate pleasure be it a prostitute or whomever and fornicate. It takes a man who sincerely loves God and his neighbours to control himself or find a sports to engage in to release the tension, distract him and let his erection fall.
The same goes for the brothers, if you really want to prove your love for this Christian sister, is it best done by kissing her or touching her?
If aunty gets horny, what exactly are you encouraging her to do especially if she is still a babe in her faith. You would just end up pushing her away from God and into sexual immorality. Is that what you really want for her?
In a Christian relationship, Christ is the foundation.
1 Corinthians 6:13 You know the old saying, “First you eat to live, and then you live to eat”? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body!
1 Corinthians 6:14 God honored the Master’s body by raising it from the grave. He’ll treat yours with the same resurrection power.
1 Corinthians 6:15 Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master’s body. You wouldn’t take the Master’s body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.
1 Corinthians 6:16 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.”
1 Corinthians 6:17 Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever – the kind of sex that can never “become one.”
1 Corinthians 6:18 There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another.
1 Corinthians 6:19 Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you.
1 Corinthians 6:20 God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
A Christian relationship is a relationship between two adults who are mutually committed to walking together to heaven. In a Christian relationship, the understanding of eternity between both parties illumines their mind and energizes their stand making them both committed to preserving the soul of one another thereby making each other eternity conscious. It is basically two people who agree to make each other’s walk with God easier.
A brother asking a Christian sister out is him basically telling her, “would you be my companion in my walk with Christ?”
The persons involved should make it a point of duty to ensure that the other party does not lose focus. He or she should make it an obligation to stay strong in the other person’s weakness no matter the cost and give no room for the devil.
These things are not so easy. I know. It is easier said than done but it can be done. God has given us grace for all things. After all, the scripture says that his Grace is sufficient for us all.
We can do all things through Christ that strengthens us.
These sexual systems in our body was put there to be enjoyed by us. It was put there by God so we can get the best from it in our marriage.
Corinthians 7:2 Certainly – but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.
1 Corinthians 7:3 The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:4 Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting – but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.
Be mindful that God created everything including romance. He knows it better than we can ever even know. He put it there to give us an exciting and romantic marriage. Let us not abuse this beautiful and awesome gift of God.
If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
If we truly love the lord our God with all our mind, soul, body, and the entirety of our being then we should be able to heed his commands and wait when he says wait. We should flee all forms of sexual immorality just as he instructed.
He would not instruct it if it is not possible. For Christ to instruct that of us, then it very possible. No matter what your past has been like, you can walk away from sexual immorality today and never come back.
SPENDING THE NIGHT TOGETHER.
This is usually wanted and our body system makes it feel needed but is it?
When two persons of the opposite sex that are sexually attracted to one another spend the night together then a lot is bound to happen. In fact, they need not even be sexually attracted to one another. The night in itself has a lot associated with it and sexuality thrives in darkness. When the sun is up, people’s body systems and hormones play a lot of games on them not to mention when it is dusk (that is at night) In the day time, fleeing is not usually easy but what then happens at night. How does one flee and even if you want to, where exactly would you flee to?
A guy and a girl spending the night together in most cases brings a lot of temptations either to both parties or to one which is mostly the guy because they are usually the most sexually vulnerable and gets easily turned on much more than their female counterparts.
Then when two persons are in love and spend the night together in the same room all by themselves without a third party it would need two persons who are very disciplined and spirit filled to survive that especially when it is done continually without falling into immorality.
Sexuality thrives in secret and the night is akin with secrecy. Even the bible says that evil thrives at night. Your subconscious mind just informs you that you are all by yourself and that no one will know. Your hormones would do their thing and they will even be much freer because unlike in the day time where you have the consciousness that even if you mistakenly or consciously want to get sexual, you may be distracted as anything can happen ranging from an uninvited visitor to your thoughts to rush out and get contraceptive in which time the other party may have a change of heart, the list multiplies. In the day, it just is not always easy to overlook the right thing and do the wrong one especially for a Christian but in the night…hmmmm. I laugh in Swahili.
Sometime, Uncle may even be asleep and aunty will do the do before he regains consciousness, everything has even been done. Or;
Aunty is still in her sleep, maybe Uncle had tried while she was wide awake and she resisted and then slept off, he may try again and aunty will be playing Philippian movie in her dream not knowing that she is actually yielding to Uncle in reality, even if she wakes, Aunty is not fully awake and her resolve would not be so strong like someone who is in full control of her mind, If uncle makes the mistake of touching her (Women are emotional beings and they are moved by what they hear and what they feel, a woman naturally responds to touch) especially in her highly sexually sensitive part (everyone especially the female folks have that and it varies from person to person. It could be anywhere or part of the body for any lady) since she is half still asleep, Auntie’s body would automatically trigger all her sexual senses and she would do all the doable and most times before she fully wakes, she has already done everything she initially did not want to do.
The night has its unique tension that it carries in sexuality for everyone, both male and female, married or unmarried so it is usually better that you play safe. Avoid nights together alone. No go sleep for the same bed with that person wey your body they do tinitanana for. That particular person that gives you butterflies in the stomach.
If you must attend events together, please try separate rooms if you intend to resist the devil in all his works and pomps and if you want to give no occasion for sin.
It’s very usual. People who are in love whether Christians or not just want to spend the nights together and would prefer it more if they are alone but if you are really serious about your walk with God and you want to stay away from sexual immorality then please, I am not saying that the urges will not come especially on those cold nights and you are just looking for a natural blanket, someone to hold you or be held by you so tight.
Please, just remember your love for the Lord in that season, remember your love for your partner and your love for your soul and find hot tea or coffee, big sweater, blanket and if you want, big pillow to embrace tight and sleep to God’s glory… Alleluia!
For the spirit and the flesh is always at war, feed your spirit and do not give in into the desires of your flesh for those who live by the flesh shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
KJVGal 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Gal 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
Gal 5:18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
The Message Bible
Galatians 5:17 For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on a job any given day.
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