Love is peculiar to an individual however, some have concluded that love doesn’t exist. Many have been hurt, many expectations have been cut short because the one they claim to love isn’t reciprocating it.
A lady I know of gave all her resources to her boyfriend just to establish him so he could be happy. On the other hand, her boyfriend turns out to spend it on another lady he admires. Getting to know this, his girlfriend quite the relationship. It took her years to recover the pain.
To know what love is, you need to understand what love is not.
1) Love is not feelings: Love should create feelings or emotion but true love isn’t based on any of these. Notwithstanding, it creates an atmosphere of being committed and being passionate.
2) Love is not based on physical attraction:
Physical attraction is deceit. This has to do with loving the person based on the looks, shapes, etc. But truth be told after some years the faces become wrinkled, beauty faded then your love is all gone. Also, love isn’t based on how good a name sounds, the wealth of the person because these fades away but true love doesn’t.
Having known what love isn’t. Then what is love? In the light of scriptures. Ephesians 3:17-18, love can be seen in dimensions.
THE FOUR DIMENSIONS OF LOVE.
Passion is the strong desire you have towards your partner. It takes a guy who is passionate to be always mindful of his girlfriend. This will prompt you to put a call through, text, or even visit her at home. Being passionate about her means you are ready to make yourself vulnerable, you’re not ashamed of her, you’re not proud, and makes her feel like a dejected one. You’re ready to come low to her state, level of understanding and you pursue her without feeling embarrassed.
It’s the willingness to give yourself, time, resources, to her. Also, it’s the staying power in a relationship and the highest form of dedication. Irrespective of what may happen, you seem to believe in her.
It’s an act of engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. Because you’re mindful of her, it restricts you from some places, saying some kind of words, carrying out some activities that will offend her. Besides, what will hurt or make her feel unloved will not be engaged in. Though you have the choice to say no.
It means delight, gratification, and the satisfaction derived from whom you love. Not the other way round of hatred, fightings, quarreling, pains, and regret. Irrespective of the challenges you should choose to be happy.
Because of your love for her, there should be times when there is fun, excitement, telling of jokes and laughter. Laughter doeth good like a medicine.
Also, a truly loving environment should bring about relaxation, freedom to express your thoughts and feelings. This creates and fosters friendship.
This is the height of it all. True love is sacrificial. Sacrifice is when you can give up something you considered valuable for the sake of someone.
Though sacrifice will constrain you, inconvenience you, and might cause you pain you decide to. To the one you sacrifice for, you can’t hate.
Here comes the answer to that question in your mind. What is love?
1) Love is a choice:
It’s an act of the will. When you say you love her, it means of your own will you have chosen her. Irrespective of the background, physical appearance, qualification you will have to stick to her because you have chosen her.
Moreso, love doesn’t usurp others. It shouldn’t take the right to decide, choose, or express your will. If you’re choosing her now or forever if your expectations aren’t met you will still love her.
2) Love is understanding the value, with and significance of her to you:
What is her significance to you, humanity (society), and God? No wonder, some guys don’t appreciate their wives after they have achieved success before they married. What if after marriage, and no childbirth, will you still love her? Love is a choice.
When you know the worth of your partner, you tend to always appreciate her, acknowledged it, and respect her. Also, you tend to protect her so she won’t be lost.
3) love is honor:
The choice to love is unconditional however, honor is conditional. The person you’re loving has to earn it. You don’t expect to treat a lady anyhow, make her feel depressed and you expect her to honor you in return.
Furthermore, honor is reciprocal and true honor is mutual. When it’s one-sided, it becomes selfish.
Ways to honor your partner include:
Firstly, celebrating her usefulness, secondly, her effort to supporting you, thirdly, praising her among others, finally, exhorting her strength in public than her weaknesses.
Anything you dishonor is authorized to leave your life. It might not necessarily be her presence, but something wonderful.
Furthermore, true honor doesn’t breed unforgiveness. Also, true honor is expressed in your attitude. That is, the way and manner it is done. Finally, one sure way to win her heart is through a sincere act of honoring her.
To curb the menace associated with a hurt that arises from this, is this true love syndrome? There is a need to establish clarity in the following:
Before saying yes to a guy or choosing to love anyone, know the motive behind such a step. Is it because of money, your beauty, his parents, position, or help he needs? When this is put in place, you can be sure if you are loved or not.
Who plays a certain role? For a married spouse, who should cook, do laundry, pay fees for children, home expenses, etc. Or should it be shared amongst you? So that anyone who defaults can be quarried and know what to be done.
This part should be properly looked into. What are you expecting from each other? In terms of behavior, kind of words, actions, etc. Though you can’t change anyone, you can influence the mindset.