How To Prove To Your Parents You are Enough to Be Independent

Last Updated on September 18, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

We’ll discuss the tips to prove to your parents that you are mature enough to be independent. Maturity is one thing African parents never really see in their children, no matter what age he or she has attained. Independence is another illusion they ignore and refuse to give credit to. You just have to open your eyes to it many times. But how do you get them to see it? Even at 24, they still want to know the kind of girl you are dating, the amount of income you make, where you go, what you do with your time and money, who you hang out with, and where. All this grumpy info and many more.

It would have been cool if they just wanted to know and keep in touch with what is going on in your life.

But more often than not, they probe you with nagging questions that only show they still want to influence your decisions and choices…

… that they don’t trust you are mature enough to be independent.

… that they still want to have a level of influence over you.

The truth is, if you decide to ignore all the signs and expect them to get tired and finally jump off your back one day, you’ll be waiting forever.

Reasons why most parents fail to believe their children are mature enough to be independent.

They never want to see it or act as they see it. Before you start developing grudges towards your parents, let me gladly inform you that their love for you keeps them forever interested in you.

They don’t want you to make any mistakes in life, and judging by their experience and age, they seem like the most qualified persons to give you counsel on matters.

However, they do it in excess unknowingly. They want to exercise full control, like when you were still a kid with them, and they had to change your diaper every night.

It is a problem 60% of African parents have; they want to be involved in all of their major and minor decisions, surprisingly even as married people.

Another reason they keep bouncing into your life is fear. They want to remodel your life after a particular pattern they love or against a particular individual they despise, fearing you are failing or not getting it right. I remember my mum would always reminisce about people she knew who had failed to try a particular task or get involved with a particular group. She would also share an account of those she wants me to remodel and use as a yardstick to guide me.

She doesn’t believe my intuition is enough to guide me. Hence, even when I am away from home, she’ll still find someone in my new location to keep an eye on me or entrust me to, like some investment or gift parcel.

Coming to school, she had planned the church I would attend, who would guide me through my registration process, where I would spend my weekend… Ha! Who is feeling my pain?

She totally handed me out. I used to feel sad about this and tried to rebel until I discovered that she wanted me to watch over her with a heart of passion and love. So, before you choose to flunk out in rebellion like I did, hang in there, and let me throw you the ropes you need to walk out of that dark room.

How To Prove To Your Parents You Are Matured Enough to Be Independent

The wrong actions will only get you back to that square again. They will only make you more worried about you and want to gain all possible control over you. They could also give up on you and avoid you totally, which appears to be a solution but is worse than the problem. Those are two extreme ends you won’t want to be hanging on to, trust me.

Here, we are going to review just five basic steps. I’m sure this will secure your independence from your parents.

Disclaimer: This can only work if you are mature. You will surely be found out if you can’t make up for maturity. They will see through your packaging and come for you with double force for trying to deceive them. So, if these tips don’t work for you, you might just have to check your maturity scores.

Cheers to a journey of independence! (meanwhile, I hope you ain’t reading this in the living room or kitchen to save your head and mine if I’m found out) lol! Alright, let’s get into it already.

#Tip 1: Be on your best behavior;

No matter how old you are, if you have basic character problems, your independence is far from you. This comes first for many reasons; remember, our topic provides tips to prove you are mature enough to be independent, not old enough. Your age isn’t enough factor to gain a green card to independence. However, that doesn’t rule out the factor of age. According to the law in Nigeria today, at 18, you are already considered an adult, although practically, you are addressed as an adult at age 20. These factors affect your maturity level by 15%.

To prove your maturity to your parents, you have to carry the right attitude at all times, use the right words and senses, and do everything right! You must just be right! Well, this is another hard task, especially if you have difficult parents. You can never just get it right. But you can try and keep to the instructions. It appears you are playing their cards, but we know the truth.

#Tip 2: maintain a close conversational relationship with your parents.

Don’t stay away! It can make you appear suspicious especially if tip 1 is in place. They would place you under the microscope to observe what you are up to.

This is the time to draw closer and nearer to them yourself. Get to know what they are about. Take an interest in them. Be involved actively in their lives. This will convince them that you care and grow their heart fonder towards you.

#Tip 3: show your abilities:

Now is the time to show them the common sense you have been gathering. Let them see the gold in you that they never knew. Let them feel your shoulders. Help them with difficulties and stand by them. Use your abilities to help them solve basic problems.

#Tip 4: making money and supporting them is a key factor.

If you don’t have a job, get one and try to support your parents with the little stipends you make. Give them money to fuel the generator, refill the gas, and fuel their car. Support yourself and them financially.

When you make

Tip 5: Attempt and make plans toward moving out.

One statement I used to detest was, “As long as you are under this roof…” because my mum would always assert her authority over you whenever you attempted independence by rebellion. We know you cannot fully be independent if you’re in your parent’s house, and you cannot claim maturity when they are still sheltering you. Good!

Let’s draw a balance sheet here. Propose to them what it’ll be like for you to be on your own. They might be hurt, but it is also a great sign that you are no longer a kid. Discuss your plan with your father first. Men are always quick to understand issues like this. Emotions can block your mother’s understanding. No offense; I’m also a woman.

With everything else in place, you’re at the doorstep of Independence. Don’t flunk out; be patient and enjoy the process.

See you on the other side.

ALSO, READ 7 TIPS ON HOW TO BREAK UP A RELATIONSHIP

Originally posted 2020-09-02 10:24:34.