Words words words!

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WORDS

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Words words words!

You don’t always need so many words to

Tell a person how much you care about them.

Sometimes words ain’t even the right words to say.

Actions speak louder than words they say

But most people prefer words,

They do not understand

your actions.

 

They want you to tell them,

You love  them

That you care.

That you know they are special

That you know they are wonderful

That you can see stars in their eyes

That when you are with them the world goes away.

That when you touch them there’s no better feeling…

That when they smile you can’t take your eyes away. 

Her Words

I am not much of a romantic…But I love the idea of Romance.

Not the get me flowers kind of girl but I adore them

I love chocolates and romantic novels

I love horror movies

I feel light-headed  at the sound of good music

Sometimes I think I can taste them.

I want to make someone  happy

I want to make people happy

I may not KNOW how or when I fall in love

But I no, I’ve fallen in love once

And I no that I’m still scared to fall too deeply in love

Because i do not want to get heartbroken

I know I’ve been broken once

And I also know

I’ve broken more hearts than I can count…

 

I know I don’t usually give up on something

But sometimes it’s hard

Though I claim to be strong.

I feel most times that I have nothing to offer

I feel alone

Sometimes I love my company

No! I always do

When I want no one around  me that’s when I get a lot of friends

And when I need someone I get none.

 

I make friends with people who I don’t give a fuck about at first

Or rather they do with me.

I find myself asking most times “why do I bother? ”

I am a girl,

a lady…with an impatient side

I fall hard and fast but I manage not to shatter when I reach the ground.

I shoot my shots when I want to,

Some wait for a man to come sweep them up

But I don’t think I’m patient enough!

 

 

Hoping again and again:

I know it’s hard

I know there wouldn’t be words to explain everything to you.

I know you wouldn’t even believe everything you hear,

Cause they keep saying the same thing.

They say it would be better,

That all will be well.

But you wake up every morning to the same news,

The same stories

The bomb blast in Abuja

The war in Syria

The killings in India

The explosion somewhere in America

You ask yourself when would all this end?

You are hoping.

 

You wake up one morning to hear

About the virus Covid19…

Which has found it’s way into the world

You see the news of people dieing

You hear tales of people getting the virus and dieing mysteriously.

You live in fear

But you still hoping

Cause that’s the only way anyone

Can survive.

 

You hear one morning that

Your friend is dead,

They found his body after two days in an abandoned building.

You break down,

You question God.

You blame the Government

But you have this hope that all

Will be well.

Cause that’s the only way to stay sane.

 

You wake up one morning to discover

That your sister

Who has always been indoors

Has caught the virus.

You are in shock

How? You ask

No one has an answer,

The health workers say it’s airborne,

The government come to take her away.

You stand there helplessly

With tears In your eyes.

She’s crying too

But you can’t console her

Cause they say

Nobody should touch her.

Now she’s a plague?

You wonder how she’s feeling

Your parents say it’s for the best

Those things would get better.

You are tired of hearing this

But still,, you hope

Cause that’s what keeps you sane.

 

Your friend’s depressed

You know he isn’t fine,

You can hear it

In his voice over the phone.

You can’t go to him

Cause of the virus.

He never cries.

But today,

he tells you he can’t do it anymore.

You hear the tears in his voice

You try to console him

But he says it’s ok,

That you shouldn’t worry anymore.

He hangs up

You can’t reach him anymore.

 

That night,

You get the news

He’s gone.

He slit his wrist

He did it right,

they couldn’t save him.

They couldn’t stitch it.

Do you wonder if this is how it’s going to be forever?

If this is the new way of living?

You want to blame him,

But you can’t

Cause you can’t judge anyone

Maybe if you were weak-willed

You could have done what he did.

You knew one thing though

That hope was keeping you.

They said hope made a man go mad, they were right.

But what can you do?

 

Your cousin comes to visit

Your parents didn’t inform you he was coming,

You’ve never liked him.

Without a reason

You’ve hated him

But you have to tolerate him in your house

Because of your parents.

 

You are home alone with him

You wish you had somewhere else to be

He comes to sit beside you,

You don’t like that he’s so close

But you can’t leave,

Cause your favorite show is on.

 

I’m bored, he says

You ignore him

Come on let’s play truth or dare

You ignore him.

Please get me a glass of milk, he says finally.

You stand to go get it.

He slaps your ass

You turn around with a severe glare.

That if lasers could shoot out of the eyes

He’d be ashes by now.

Don’t you ever do that again in your life?

You warn, but he scoffs.

 

You come back with a glass of milk.

Set it down in front of him

And seat far away from him.

Moments later, he comes to you

You feel his breath on your neck

You recoil.

But he grabs you

Before you could react

He has you under him.

 

You fight him

But he is stronger

He takes you from behind.

You can’t cry nor shout

Cause he’s stronger still.

You wish with everything in you that he dies a painful death.

You are slipping out of consciousness.

But you hope still, that he stops.

 

You see your reflection in the mirror

You’re empty

useless self

Cause that’s how it feels.

You can’t cry,

Cause you were taught

That crying is for the weak.

 

You blame yourself.

You blame the government

You curse the virus, covid19, you say,

It will never be well with you.

You utter it over and over again

Like a mad man.

You question God.

You hate your cousin

You disown him in your heart.

You see a blade.

But you are too scared to cut yourself

You scream.

 

Two days later,

Your cousin dies

Your parents found him in the pool of his own blood.

In the guest room.

Now you know

Ghosts would hunt the house forever

And maybe you

But you don’t care.

 

At the burial, that you never wanted to attend.

You see everyone crying

People are reading eulogies

Dedicated to him

They all say, he was a good boy.

God-fearing,

A loving soul?

That’s what they call him

That instant you hate them all

Because they are all just ignorant.

People come to offer condolences.

 

I heard you two were so close

Sorry, they say.

“Son, I’m sorry for everything that’s happening,”

your father tells you.

Later that night,

your mother says

“I hope he finds peace.”

 

You don’t say anything

You can’t say anything,

you know he would never find peace.

You can’t say,

That you found his body first.

That you were the one who watched him slit his wrist.

He felt depressed

And weighed down by what he had done,

You offered him a way out

You stood there

Watching him cut himself

It felt good

You liked it.

 

You willed him to go deeper

He did.

When he was delirious from the pain,

You helped him slit his other wrist

Really deep

And it was so neat.

You can’t tell them all this.

Cause what’s the use?

 

They say your sister would be back

You hope affliction wouldn’t rise a second time.

You hope it doesn’t take long.

You hope you find your healing soon.

You hope you never become

So weak-willed to slit your own wrist.

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