Critically speaking, falling in love with yourself is one big problem that faced 80% of us. And sometimes, life makes it so hard for us to accept them. We can easily admire others, but when it comes to ourselves, it becomes a bigger problem. I am a victim of this, and honestly, it took me time to accept who I am.
Falling in love with oneself can go either two ways:
-Loving who you are, or
-Accepting what you are.
Quote of life states, “Life is a big mirror and what it reflects is what we give it”.
Whatever you put out in the world, comes back to you in tenfold. If you give love, love comes in return; if you give out hate, it comes back too.
If you are finding it so hard to accept or fall in love with yourself, it means there are things triggering them.
For instance: it might be your appearance, lifestyle, self-deception, jealousy, failure, guilt, your worth or value in society or you might think you aren’t good at anything you do and many more.
And when these thoughts keep occupying our minds, self-hatred creeps in, which can lead you to harm or bullying yourself or others.
But the good news is, every problem has a solution, and its solution starts from you.
HERE ARE THE: 17 ways on how to fall in love with yourself.
1. You need to accept who and what you are:
“Self-love is not selfish. There is no way you can give love if you don’t love yourself.”
Accepting yourself is one of the keys to falling in love with yourself. Accepting who you are, what you are, gives you the confidence to embrace life. This makes you see yourself as one of the best gifts on this earth. It makes you feel “complete”. It makes you stand for yourself when people are trying to judge you or remind you of who or what you are.
A friend said, “someone can never hurt you without your permission”.
Is not about what life gives you, but your reaction towards it. You might never like yourselves because of certain things, but that’s not your fault(you are not to be blamed for what you didn’t create or do). That you don’t look good doesn’t mean you are bad either.
Changing yourself for society to accept you, shows that you are weak and it doesn’t stop that way, cause you keep on needing approval from people for you to be ok. If you are finding it so difficult to accept yourself the way you are, I got so practicable tips for you.
• First, make a list of what you think that makes you unique, and also a list of all the negative judgment you have towards yourself.
• Go through them and know those ones that are hard for you to accept.
• Take those ones and start working on them. You might pick one and work on it every day or twice a week till you fully get used to it.
For instance: you may not like the way you look, and it is hard for you to accept that you are beautiful or ugly.
Why not take the first step by looking at the mirror whenever you wake up and say something positive about your look.
I was faced with this kind of thing till I started speaking positively about my look. Each morning, I would stand in front of my mirror and tell myself I look good. It became a habit.
Cultivating this art will make you fall deeply for yourself.
• Disconnect from whatever that reminds you of those negative behavior towards yourself. It might come from friends, music, books, and connect yourself with those that improve your self-esteem.
• Identify your weakness.
You might be the type of person that procrastinates a lot, impatient about things, easily bored, shy, scared of public, strict, doesn’t like to be criticized, stubborn, always emotional over little things. I suggest you make a list too, paste it somewhere you can see them and work on them.
• Take every failure as an experience to do better.
• Don’t compare yourself with anybody. You are unique and you need nobody to tell you that. What matters is how you see yourself and not how people see you.
• Learn to accept your imperfections.
The more you accept the part of yourself, you don’t like, the more personal freedom you create. When you begin to see your imperfections as part of you, you begin to feel free from anxiety and low self-esteem.
ALSO, READ How to fall in love? ( 13 WAYS)
2. Accept things about yourself that you can’t change.
Everybody has their own flaws, but there are some certain things we can’t change about ourselves. You might be fat and you want to be thin, which is obtainable, likewise, when you are thin also.
On the other hand, you might have this big nose which makes you feel uncomfortable. Instead of finding ways to reduce it, why not accept it the way it is. You can keep telling yourself that, ‘this my nose has its purpose and without it, I can’t breath’.
A lot of us( especially ladies) are faced with this kind of “body shaming” problem, which pushed some of us into opting for plastic surgery.
Embracing your flaws is the best way to love yourself madly. Our flaws are not there to make us bad, but give us the courage to look at them as part of us that we need to improve in life.
3.Apologise to yourself.
Like the way we offend others and tend to apologize to them. Do the same thing to yourself. Be comfortable to admit you disappointed yourself, and find strength in knowing that, it doesn’t define you.
You can write a letter of apology to yourself stating where you hurt yourself, how much sorry you feel, and how you are going to make it up to you. This sounds weird, but it is a good way to stay in love with yourself.
4. Forgive your past mistakes.
“One thing is for sure—you will make mistakes. Learn to learn from them. Learn to forgive yourself. Learn to laugh when everything falls apart because, sometimes, it will.” Vironika Tugaleva
How do you start to love yourself, if you still hang those mistakes around your neck and be waiting for someone to take them off? It starts from you, and that decision can be made by you alone.
Your past mistakes should not determine your future. You feel guilty about what you did, fine! But reminiscing on them for long is totally out of it.
Peace of mind is what you should look for, and you can only get it if you learn to forgive yourself from your past mistakes.
5. Redirect every negative thought about yourself.
This is an irrational and unrealistic thought that comes to our mind when things didn’t turn out well. There are inner voices that keep reminding us of our inadequacies.
And when we nurture them, they deteriorate our minds into believing a lot of negative things about us.
However, it is time for you to start channeling every negative thought about you into something good.
You might be the one that usually uses negative words on yourself, why not say something positive even when it is hard to admit you are good.
Tips that can help you stay positive.
• Focus on the good things that happen in your life, no matter how little they seem to appear. They might be, you waking up strong, a little help you rendered to someone, and a lot of them.
• Try turning those negative words into positive ones. You can write them and paste them where you can see them when you wake up in the morning or go to bed.
This will help you stay positive and fall in love with yourself deeply.
• Identify your area of negativity and work on them.
Specifically, you might be a person that quickly gets angry over something without identifying the cause, why not tell yourself to stay calm and find out why the thing happened that way.
This will help you read deep meaning into them which helps you to sort for solutions instead of being angry at them, which might affect your mood for the rest of the day.
• Make sure you stay away from things that trigger negative thoughts. This feeling may be coming from, friends, movies, books, or co-workers. Just try your best to stay away whenever they come in contact with you.
• Open yourself to humor. Though this part is hard to implement, try to laugh at things even when they are difficult. It will make them look easier to solve. Watch funny videos or comedies and tell yourself that, you can’t let life push you the way it likes.
• Spend time with people, things that bring positive vibes. You may attend conferences, seminars, hangout, or take a tour around beautiful places.
• Always remember to compliment yourself each day of your life.
Compliment lightens the mood and it affects the rest of our days.
Speak positive words and pray to God to help you in all your doings.
ALSO, READ FALLING IN LOVE! – ALL YOU SHOULD KNOW
6.No more comparison.
Now, it is time for you to stop all the comparisons you have with others. You need to know that, “you are you and not them”. They are living fine because they have money, which should be their problems and not yours. What you need is to focus on achieving a better future, living happily, and not being in any competition with anyone else.
A friend says, “in life, the only thing that should matter to you, is your happiness and how to get them”.
Comparing yourself with others will only do more harm than good to you. Look at their success stories as a “push” for you to do more rather than sitting in your shell looking for whom to blame or how life treats you badly.
7.Create a better picture of yourself in your mind.
You might want to be a great person that inspires people. Try creating the picture of that great person in your mind, live like one, and pursue them diligently till you finally become them.
8.Be comfortable in your own skin.
The best way to fall In love with yourself is to be comfortable in your own skin. This means building yourself for who and what you want to be, and not what others want you to look like.
It is a little treasure box inside of you, that is filled with contentment and love.
Tips on how to achieve that.
• Take good care of yourself. Spend time with yourself, eat good food, exercise well, take yourself out, dress well, feed your mind with good things, spoil yourself and make sure you stay healthy.Stop caring about what others think about you. What matters is what you think about yourself.
• Be your own best friend. The way you make friends with people, also make friends with yourself. If there is anything inside of you that is hindering you from loving yourself, get rid of it and replace it with something that acts like your best friend. It might be a voice or self-doubt. Replace it with someone that wants the best for you.
ALSO, READ UNDERSTANDING THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
9.Pay Attention to yourself.
If you are the busy type that doesn’t even have time for yourself. I think it is high time you took a break and pay attention to yourself. Listen to yourself and know where you are not getting it.
• When was the last time, you grabbed a cup of good cappuccino or ate out alone in a good restaurant?
• When was the last time you strolled around your garden picking flowers and smiling at nature?
Or the last time you visited the cinema to see good movies or wore those beautiful clothes you kept in the closet for long?
Just take your time and pay attention to those things and see how self-love grows on its own.
10. Have fun
Enjoy your life while you can. Nobody is going to do those things for you. Take yourself out on dates, treat yourself right, go shopping, go to a spa to have a good body treatment and the benefits that come with it, go to the museum, go to a concert, grab a cup of ice cream, cook special food for yourself, go biking, gaze at the stars, go swimming, learn a new musical instrument, drown in your fantasy, meditate, travel out, unplug to be alone, act like a kid and many more.
11.Invest in something you love or good at.
It might be a career, hobby, interest, charity, or skills you want to learn or do. Take your time and explore more in whatever makes you happy and see how much you can stay longer in love with yourself.
12. Reflect on your happiest moments.
Always reflect on your happiest moments whether in the past or present. Keep track of those things that created the best moments in your life and reflect on them more.
13.Take care of your environment.
Keeping our environment clean adds more to our moods. You can change those things you wanted to change a long time ago. Arrange your room in a fashionable way that can lights up your mood and makes you feel at peace.
14. Celebrate your accomplishments.
They said, “name your blessings and count them one by one”. It is not bad to celebrate your little wins or your accomplishments. Give credit to yourself for doing more. You deserve it! It is your hard work, and you need to be celebrated for achieving them.
15. Be thankful
Always be thankful for the opportunities that come your way, your friends, family, and where you have been in life.
In fact, Gratitude and appreciation should always be part of your life cause they bring more favors and blessings in our lives.
16. Learn and grow
Whatever that had happened to you in life, learn from it and move on. Develop yourself into someone you will be proud of in the next 10 years. Learn things you want to learn, likewise reading those books you wanted to and practice them always.
Listen to music that improves self-love, which mellows you out and gives you room to stay on a good track. They are good music that speaks more about self-love and boost self-confidence like,
• I love me by Meghan Trainer
• survivor by destiny’s child
• love myself by hailee steinfeld
• new rule by Dua lipa and many more.
17. Love more
Give out love and it will come back to you. Love yourself more, pour out every love you have, and watch it grows. Don’t ever allow someone to talk you out of loving yourself. Treat yourself well. Love yourself as you ever wanted to be loved. It is not must you need someone in your life before you do that, do it for yourself and see how you fall In love with yourself without any stress.
A WORD FROM RELATIONSHIPSEEDS
Self-love is one key to winning in life. If you don’t treat yourself the way you want to be treated, it becomes hard to break the walls you wanted to break.
You deserve better, and you will give it to yourself. You came to this world alone and nobody should make you feel bad for who you are. Give in everything and see how you reap the best fruits you ever wanted.
Always remember that you are God’s best gift and gifts are precious things that come in beautiful packages. God is love, and he is the only one that gives selfless love. Invite him into your life. He is always ready to help you stay in love and stay happy.
ALSO, READ HOW TO LOVE AGAIN NO MATTER THE HEARTBREAK