13 ways to FALL IN LOVE
Falling in love is the best thing that can happen to people who share the same goals, passion, sorrow, happiness, and always appreciate their efforts to adjust their flaws. It makes you feel like the world revolves around you. Just like in Cinderella’s story: to live happily ever after.
On the other hand, when love turns out bad, we close our hearts and shut our backs at it. It seems impossible to be loved again and whoever comes close wants to hurt you. Love becomes a horrible rhyme that you don’t want to hear. You shut yourself out from the world and never extend your hand to feel it again.
And sometimes, you do ask if you would ever fall in love again? If there is a second chance? If you can ever make it right?
Yes, I can feel your pain. I understood the way you feel but how do you know these answers, if you don’t give them a try?
I felt the same way when I got stabbed by my best friend. She was having an affair with my boyfriend. when I found out it was already too late to revoke what happened. She was already pregnant for him and this hit me so bad that I thought of committing suicide. It took me time to find myself. It seemed like my world has been shattered. But now, I can proudly say, I am in love again.
Your case might be different from being hurt by someone you love. It might be you, your look, your body, and many of them. You might be having a hard time trying to love who you are but no matter how you try, it seems you are not getting it right.
Trust me, I know how it feels to be mock by friends and family as well. The countless night you spent crying in your bedroom and how you would stare in the mirror for a thousand times.
All I need from you is to believe you are stronger than all these problems that seem to be the center of attraction.
I know you want to fall in love again. Whether with yourself or with someone and I am here to help you do that. All I need you to do is to follow these strategies which will unlock your heart again.
1. you need to love yourself.
If you want to see yourself falling in love again, this is the best medicine you can go for.
There is no how you will love someone without loving yourself first.
You need to appreciate your strength, know your weakness, and have the right mindset about yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, you can’t make anything right for the other person. You might pretend to be in love and when it turns out bad, you will end up hating yourself or blaming yourself for what happened.
How do you find self-love? These tips will help you better.
• First, you need to isolate yourself from those bad vibes and being lonely. Then, open your heart to heal from those pains, accept who you are, and whenever you look in the mirror, see yourself as God’s best love.
• Never underestimate what you can do. You can do anything if you believe you can do it.
A friend says,
“ Believing in oneself is the best way to build one’s confidence.”
You can’t break a wall if you don’t believe you can do it. Sometimes, we give up on one strike. This should not be you. All you need is to keep hitting hard and you won’t know when it falls off.
• Know your weakness.
Once you are aware of your strengths, identifying your weakness becomes easy. Find out your flaws, improve on them and this helps you build your self-esteem and understand who you are.
• Give yourself the best treat. Appreciate your efforts and always compliment yourself daily. This helps you to feel relaxed and relieved.
2.Accept things about yourself that you can’t change.
Everybody has his own flaws but there are certain things we can’t change about ourselves.
For instance: you might have a big head or you don’t like your face due to burnt scars or your height.
Instead of hiding away from them, you need to find a way to improve on them. I don’t suggest you going for plastic surgery but finding healthier activities to follow.
Embracing your flaws is the best way to fall in love again. Just know you are already like that and you won’t change them for anything.
• Tell yourself you are God’s best image and he loves you against all odds.
• Always remind yourself that you have a lot of potentials and you are a great person. You can stand in front of your mirror and tell yourself, “I am the best version of myself.”
• You can sign up for healthier exercises that are good for body development. Read books on self-improvement and keep positive vibes around you.
3. Be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you are weak or you can allow anything or anyone into your life to hurt you. It is where you need to understand your defense mechanism. You might have built a wall around your heart and letting people in becomes a problem.
Maybe, all these happened because of your past relationship and you don’t want to take the risk again.
Opening up your heart is the key to find love again and this helps you understand your fears and insecurities.
You might be afraid of getting hurt but you need to give it a try. Try to be honest with yourself and know that you can’t have a perfect life likewise seeing a perfect person to love.
4. Redirect every negative thought about yourself
This is bound to happen cause everybody has been riding this same boat. This is an irrational and unrealistic thought that comes to our mind especially when things didn’t turn out well.
negative thoughts will hinder your self-growth cause it makes you see the bad side of you instead of the better one.
However, if you are good at saying “I can’t do anything well or no one can accept me the way I am” why not say, “I know I have potential, I will look forward to the things I can do best.”
Tips that can help you to stay positive:
• Whenever those negative thoughts come to your mind. Try to do something that will take your mind far from them. You can go out with friends and watch movies that boost self-love and good thoughts.
• Try turning those negative statements into positive ones. You can write them down and read them every morning before starting off your day.
• Make sure you stay away from things that trigger them. It might be a conversation with friends, books, or movies. Stay positive and speak positive things into your life.
5. Don’t be afraid of rejection.
Sometimes, we got stuck in this unrequited love circle. And it seems like we are not going to get it no matter how we try.
You don’t need to assume that you are not going to be loved when you haven’t tried it.
All you need is to put yourself out there and when someone rejects you, know that it is not the end of the world.
Just know that love comes naturally, it will surely come to you. All you need to do is to open up your heart and stay strong.
6. Don’t play the hard-to-get game.
Some of us love playing this hard-to-get game especially if we are been asked out. Nobody is asking you to stoop so low or act cheap but never make it too hard for the other partner to come in.
Just be yourself and let it flow by itself. Don’t show that “I don’t need you” attitude, it will only scare the other partner away.
For instance: you might go for a date and you keep acting as if he/ she is pressuring you or wasting your time.
Resist the urge of playing games and try to appreciate the other partner’s effort in making your day great.
7. Meet new people
This is time to go out there and meet people. You can’t be hiding inside your house and be wishing for prince charming or Cinderella to find you.
Hey! You only find the right one for you if you associate with people.
Though, finding love takes effort. Don’t wish to stumble on your perfect soulmate rather you go out there and find one for yourself.
You can go to seminars, church programs, friends’ parties, join a club, go shopping and find where young or old people gather a lot.
This will help you gain a better understanding of what you want in a partner instead of writing them down and be waiting for a miracle to happen.
8. Get a hobby or find out what you can do best.
This is a good start if you want to fall in love with someone that has the same passion/hobby as you.
You can sign up for an activity related to your interest. Maybe, you love dancing, you can join a dancing club or sign up for the class. Find a group in that class and stick together and you will discover that there is more to life than hiding.
Follow your heart on what you love doing best, try to update on it.
Making a name for yourself will help you build self-confidence and will easily attract people towards you.
Nobody wants to date an idle person. You need to get involved in something and you will get to meet other partners in the same field.
9: Always be kind
Good people attract good things. Show kindness to people and don’t be a mole in people’s heart.
Smile always, try to help out where you can, never underestimate people, be sincere with your words, and stay away from negative vibes.
9b Come up with the special qualities that you want in other partners.
This will help you stay focus on what you actually want and when the person comes around, you will know.
This gives you the perceptive of what you want. For instance: you want someone, who is responsible, honest, good-looking, has a good accent, fears God, has a sense of humor, and many of them.
This would keep you on track and helps you differentiate the wrong person from the right one.( remember we don’t have perfect ones either).
I suggest you go for someone that shares the same goals, passion as you.
Physical appearance plays a part but doesn’t make it your top priority cause it fades or something might happen.
10:Try Dating again.
You can try to date again, I believe by now you might have caught someone who seem to be interested in you.
You can give it a try if you want to. Or You might try signing up for online dating (only if you are ready).
Take it slowly and trust your instincts when you meet your partner. This will help you open up your heart to embrace love.
Note: Opening open is so important in building a close relationship. You don’t need to say everything about yourself on the first day. You might get to know the other partner well, Talk about personality and a lot of things. Just take it gradually and let them know, they have the chance to come into your life.
11. Don’t be too quick to discharge someone.
You might meet someone for the first time and you have already concluded that the person is not good enough for you.
Try to have an open mind and don’t give in to judgment without checking the person out.
Likewise at your own part: don’t assume you are not good enough for others to have you around.
Just stay positive, you might catch some feelings and you won’t notice at first. It is a gradual process.
12. Build a lasting connection with your partner.
This is when you have finally gotten the perfect soulmate you have been waiting for.
Building a lasting relationship will always improve your self-growth and keeps you falling deeply in love with your partner.
Few Tips to build a lasting relationship:
• Have a positive curious mindset.
Always find a way to have fun with your partner, enjoy spending time with them, try knowing them better, share your goals, passion with them likewise theirs.
• Try to take it slowly and don’t put too much pressure, they might see it as a burden to them.
• Establish strong communication.
Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Always find a time to initiate conversation. This helps you two share your hopes, fears, insecurities, happiness, dislikes, likes, share your flaws, your motives, your compatibility.
• Find ways to settle arguments in a healthier way.
This helps when a problem sets in. Instead of shouting at each other, you go for what I call relationship review. This is where you two sit to find out what is wrong then who is wrong.
Some people called it relationship surgery.
It is a tool that helps in building a strong relationship.
• Always discuss your goals and plans with each other.
• Treat your partner as your hero. Create trust, support each other, know that you two are two separate people with different lives. know when your partner needs to be alone and you too(privacy matters so much in a relationship).
• Share new experiences of things you have done. It might be business, places you have been in. This will make your partner want to do more with you.
• Keep moments together. You can go out to have fun, take pictures, visit the zoo, go shopping, cook for each other, exchange gifts, compliment each other.
• Emotional availability matters too. Don’t act as if you are not bothered about them. Be there for your partner and they will always see the true meaning of love.
• Do little act of kindness for each other.
Little thing you do for your partner is a great way to show your lover, you love them.
You can surprise your partner by helping out with chores, cooking, etc. You bring home gifts, leave a note, and give them the best part of you. These matter a lot in building a strong relationship.
13. Allow your relationship to grow on its own than forcing it.
Don’t control the outcome of your relationship. Let it grow naturally and just be patient.
You can’t force love, it comes at its own pace. All you have to do is to wait for it and allow yourself to follow.
If you see yourself controlling it, just take a deep breath and remind yourself why you started.
Sometimes, it doesn’t turn out well but just takes it as an opportunity to learn, and one day, you will find someone that’s right for you, and falling in love becomes not a problem to you.
Finally: Always pray to God to bring your destined one or someone who will love you the way you are. He knows the best for us and he will never fail.
I pray you to find the best version of you and someone who will love you the way you love yourself.
ALSO, READ LOVE SMS