Can You Have a Successful Relationship with Someone Else While Co-Parenting with Your Ex?

Last Updated on March 27, 2023 by Joshua Isibor

Relationships are rarely straightforward. This is especially true for romantic relationships, no matter how many you’ve experienced or how old you are. If you have children from a previous relationship, you may feel unable to go out and meet someone new. However, restricting your own fulfillment is not a healthy way to raise your kids. It is possible to have a successful relationship with a new partner while sharing parenting responsibilities with your ex. It just takes a mature attitude, trust, and knowing what your priorities are.

Be Open with Your Current Partner

It is unfair to withhold the fact that you have children from a new partner. Allow them to decide for themselves if they are capable of building a life with someone who already has kids. Although they might have said that they wouldn’t want children of their own, this doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t enjoy spending time with your kids. Everyone is different, and you owe it to a new partner to be open and honest about your status as a parent. Similarly, you should not hide that you stay in touch with your ex in order to co-parent your kids. Otherwise, this can damage the trust in your new relationship.

Put Your Children’s Needs First

While a romantic partner may be an important part of your life, you should always do what is best for your kids. A successful relationship with someone new should not come at the expense of your children’s well-being. Fortunately, there are resources available such as Two Healthy Homes which offer advice about how to co-parent with an ex-partner. It may not be simple at first, but it is possible. So long as your decisions are based on how to best care for your children, looking after your family shouldn’t get in the way of your relationship.

Demonstrate Trustworthiness

Jealousy is common in romantic relationships, particularly if one partner is still in contact with an ex. Your new partner may feel uneasy about the level of communication you have with your co-parent, so it is important to be clear about your feelings for them and demonstrate ongoing trustworthiness. Prove to your new partner that they have no need to feel jealous, and they, in turn, will find it much easier to cope with you communicating with your children’s other parent. Don’t diminish their fears and instead listen to understand. Create a space in your relationship where it is safe to be vulnerable, even if that means expressing jealousy.

Build Connections Between Your Partner and Your Children

If you envision your new relationship growing into something lifelong, it is a good idea to help forge a stronger relationship between your partner and your children. Let them get to know each other gradually, and don’t put pressure on anyone to immediately have positive feelings. With time, patience, and kindness, you can bring together those you love the most and live the life you have always wanted. 

ALSO, READ HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP