What Is Love Language?
Understanding the five Love languages is a very important topic that cannot be scrapped in a relationship. When we talk about a language, then we talk about a combination of words used for communication. A language could also be in the form of eye contact, this is usually done in public places to convey information. This is usually a piece of information you don’t want people around to know. Hence, love language is an emotional language that allows you to express your love emotionally.
We have about 7117 spoken languages globally. You can’t go to China to learn how to speak English. If you can’t speak Chinese, you would need to attend their language school for you to learn how to speak Chinese. Every single person has a love language that works for them. Whenever you start dating, it is necessary to be observant. Being observant means to know the love language your partner possesses, because love language works like magic. They are powerful and sometimes might be deceptive because you can always use them as self-defense, and as a tool to get whatever you want from your partner.
What Are The 5 Love Languages
1. Words of Affirmation:
This is using words to compliment, congratulate, josh, praise, and appreciate your boo/bae. It could involve using pick-up lines. Years back, John, my friend, a doctor who was dating Kate at the university, was experiencing low-quality love from his girlfriend. He would run to my house saying “I don’t understand Kate anymore, it looks like she doesn’t love me anymore”. Our love is growing colder day-by-day.
After so many days of observation, I noticed that he doesn’t compliment her, tease her, or even appreciate her. Days later, I approached him and talked to him about what to do before he loses his gold (girlfriend). Two weeks later, I received a call from him telling me to come over to a restaurant. I acknowledged the call and came over. He was full of Ecstasy and thanked me. He bought food for me and gave me lots of drinks, and I gave him more tips.
In the African Tradition, particularly Yoruba society, if you want to get something from the king. This is what you would do: Firstly, you’ll sing songs of praises and dance before the king. Secondly, you would have to bow down or lie before the king and begin to call him sweet names. After doing that he might be moved to answer your request. If you need something from God. You would worship him and call him sweet names, then he would be happy.
As a businessman or woman, if you don’t have words of affirmation in you, you would soon extinguish. Everyone loves praises, but there are a set of people that this works for. I once had a female friend, one beautiful thing about her is that, if you want to win her by buying her gifts, it doesn’t work. Her love language is words of affirmation.
Quality time means spending much more time than usual with that person. You can spend quality time by. ~Going to the cinemas: You guys can watch the latest or trending movies in cinemas. ~taking a walk in an evening. You could both walk for several meters or km. laughing and gisting. ~spending time watching TV together at home. ~Going .to a club ~Romantic getaway
Gifts can be in the form of cash or other forms of presents. Cash: This involves giving your partner money. It could be for financial assistance or as an expression of love. When you give her cash in time of need, this will show that you love and care about her welfare. It simply means you are taking responsibility. Let me give you a tip: I learned something from my friend, Godwin. There is this thing he does whenever his girl comes for a visit. When she is distracted he would secretly put some money in her bag.
When she gets home, he’ll give her a call and tell her, “baby can you check your purse? I kept some cash there for the little things it can afford”. Presents: This involves getting a physical gift for your love partner. Gifts such as watches, underwear, dresses, or even a car. Although I prefer getting a gift for a girl to giving her cash, I will tell you why. As a man or woman, you would need to know what gift your partner prefers. Some prefer seeing the gift every time in their home, it serves as a way of bringing memories ALIVE.
I once had a friend in college, on her birthday I gave her some cash as a surprise birthday gift. Years later I reminded her that my birthday is close that am also expecting a gift from her. Her response was, Have you ever given me any gift for my birthday? I replied, Yes I remembered sending you some money back then in school… She replied annoyingly, oh! I remember, if it had been bigger money I wouldn’t have forgotten so soon. Since that day I stopped giving girls money on their birthday because many would turn out to be ungrateful. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give her money.
4. Act of Service:
When we talk about an act of Service this involves helping your spouse with activities like cooking, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, giving a massage, or even sex. I hope you remember the old saying, “Action Speaks louder than Voice”. Many people take that word personally in terms of true love; they believe that’s what true love should be about (an act of service).
One fact about love is that when you love someone you would do whatever it takes not to stress that person. Your lover’s discomfort is equally a discomfort to you. FOR MEN: if you’re a man, you don’t have to leave all the work for your woman. You can assist her in cleaning the house, doing dishes, or even preparing meals on weekends. Your woman doesn’t have to slave away all day when you can help out FOR WOMEN: An act of service could be cooking his favorite meal, giving him a foot-rub. I bet you’ll win his heart with enough unusual pampering.
5. Physical Touch:
It involves holding hands together, hugging her, kissing, cuddling, touching each other’s legs romantically. Physical touch could involve you touching your boo in those places that can arouse her.
A Word From Relationship Seeds
love languages are for both males and females, I am not segregating it. Giving cash is not specifically for men, women can also do much more. Love language can also be a tool for an apology. I’ll advise you to discover the language of love your partner possesses, it could take you months or weeks to discover but do so. After discovering it and you’re having issues you in using the love language you can visit our Contact us page for coaching. Drop your comments and questions in the comment session.
Click Here to Read 10 Benefits Of Friendzone
How To Stop Dating A Married Man
This generation of ours has made every negative thing a norm and tends to forget the absurdness of it. For example, The negativity around depression has failed to be seen as people finding solace in it, speeding toxicity, another example can be seen in prostitution, where this is seen as a “Career” or a source of income. The world has failed to see the absurdness of this making women more objectified and this should not be. Another example is Dating married men, Women see this as a norm and a source of income for themselves, not thinking of the absurdness of this….They just do it without thinking!
When things like prostitution are made a norm there is a tendency that women would date married men. Some of them do this for reasons best known to them, while some of them do it because of preference, they just prefer married men.
Some of them don’t even know why they do it, they just feel like it’s the right thing to do and they just go for it. Some of them do it to spite the wife in the marriage for one misunderstanding or the other, Some of the.do it because it was spiritually inclined into them.
But, This doesn’t mean that some of them are not tired of it, especially those ones who don’t know why they do it and feel ashamed about it, they want to stop but they don’t know how to, they have tried what they thought was right but still had the same results, and I know that you reading this right now might be one of them.
Ways to Stop Dating A Married Man
1: Acknowledge that it’s a problem
Until you see the absurdness of this you would not be able to make the decision of stopping it. Until you see why it is wrong and should not be done at all, there is every tendency that you might not make the choice of stopping. So firstly think about the absurdness, acknowledge that is wrong, and work towards your stopping it.
2: Put God first
When you acknowledge that it’s a problem, run back to the place of prayer and let God take over, sometimes spirituality is involved. Daily reading and meditating on the bible tends to change your perspective about life making you see more of the absurdness of Dating A Married Man.
3: Set your priorities right:
It is said that some of them that do it and want to stop but can’t stop is because of the income they make from it, the comfort it brings and the solace added, making it their top priority. This is the excuse they have. But after acknowledging that it’s a problem and putting God first, set your priorities right.
Be independent, withdraw from that relationship, and start a life of your own, where you don’t have to rely on a man or a married man for your well-being, Establish yourself. This is one of the ways a strong woman is built, she starts by setting her priorities right.
Ways you can set your priorities right include
A: Believe in yourself:
Many women think or feel that they cannot do anything without the help of a man or a man who already knows how to take care of a woman because of his experience in marriage. But facing the fact that it is wrong and telling yourself you can do better than that, you can become who you want to become without giving yourself to a married man.
B: Do a reality check:
Look things logically, a married man would only see you as mistress and nothing more, he wouldn’t have time for you, he’d always come only when he feels like, you’re not being loved but being used. You’re not in a relationship that would lead to a happy married life, you’re just eating What you did not cook, and what you fail to understand is the bitterness of the after taste, you’re in a relationship where you’re at the mercy of whatever he brings, whether it works for you or not.
He’s not going to meet your parents because you don’t expect him to leave his wife because of you, and if he was going to marry you, think about how his kids would feel, they would hate you for stealing their mom’s lover, can you deal with that? Would your loved ones approve of it, ask yourself these questions.
Doing a reality check makes you come to a realization of these things.
C: Tell the wife:
This basically frees you from the guilt. Your freedom is what matters, telling the wife doesn’t make you a coward, or show your sense of irresponsibility, it only shows your level of good reasoning and good you have come to the realization of the absurdness of it. When you te the wife you are free.
D: Break up with him:
This is the point where you make that decision to cut ties and don’t go back. This is the point where your realization comes into reality. Then you can become independent.
4: Do a daily Mind exercise:
Dating Married men can be traced psychologically, as it becomes a mindset that has been embedded into you by experience, doing mind exercises can completely eradicate the thoughts of your mind. Close your eyes for ten to fifteen seconds, imagine yourself coming out of that situation or that mindset and keep working towards it by the first three things listed above.
5: Change your hobbies:
This might seem funny, but every little thing matters. Most women date married men because of their love for luxury and material things, they want everything on a platter of gold, their love for money would always cloud their mindset, and the fact that they always get it would set their hobbies to doing things that are luxury worthy. For example, Shopping every single day, reckless spending of money on things that don’t matter, etc. Therefore making these things their favorite thing to do.
So changing your hobbies to little things and finding your talent improves your probability of not dating Married men. When you work for some things yourself and do some things by yourself without the help of anyone, you’d actually know what you actually like and what you don’t.
6: Seek Counsel:
After doing everything listed above, seeking advice from a good adult would do a great deal of detaching yourself from Dating a Married Man. A counselor would always tell the truth and give you the next line of action.
How to stop Dating A Married Man is a choice you have to make, a choice that has to come from the realization of the absurdness, setting your priorities right, changing your hobbies, doing a little mental exercise, and seeking good counsel. With these well done, dating a married man would not even be a thought in your mind not to talk of an act!
ALSO, READ SIGNS HE WANTS TO GET YOU IN BED
10 Signs You’re Ready to Get Married
Description: One of the things many people fear is getting into marriage for the wrong reasons. Before you consider the idea, ensure you’re prepared to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. Here are ten signs you’re ready for marriage.
How do you know if you are ready to get married? (10 Signs)
Because of the excitement of meeting a person you love, you might feel ready for marriage after the first date. Knowing you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is an incredible feeling. But no matter how you feel, marriage is not something you should take lightly. Marriage requires a lot of work, compromise, and sacrifice to maintain the relationship. Anyone craving companionship must have a few things figured out before saying “I do.” While you can borrow from installment loan lenders for your wedding, it’s something you must think about critically.
Before committing, do some soul soul-searching to know who you are and what you want. Understand the things you can give your prospective spouse and what you expect from them. Being ready for marriage means you have figured out what you want in life and are prepared to be in a relationship where you contribute and compromise. Here are signs that will help you know you’re ready for married life.
1. You’re Psychologically Mature
Some people will realize they’re not ready for marriage after 5 years of dating, and this is okay. Just because you have been out there for a long time does not qualify you to get married. Maturity is an essential component that will keep your marriage going strong amid all the turbulence. There is no best age for marriage, and you should never fall for the pressure to get married because you’re approaching a certain age. However, there’s an optimum level of maturity that shows you’re emotionally ready for marriage.
Experts say that the brain does not reach peak development until the age of 27, especially the part of the brain linked with one’s ability to review long-term consequences and also compare options. Until you have a fully working brain able to assess situations correctly, you should not get married. This is a ready-for-marriage checklist you must complete as it influences your choice of mate and ultimately determines if you’ll have a successful relationship.
2.You Love Yourself
Knowing you’re ready for marriage after divorce can be confusing, as some people want to fill the void created by prior events. However, this is the time you should trackback and exercise self-love for healing. When you truly love yourself, you will easily give selfless love to others. The way you love yourself is how you teach other people to love you. Focusing on self-love before you get married is crucial as it helps you set standards that no person can undermine. Having respect for yourself means you cannot tolerate disrespect from anyone or abuse in a relationship.
Marriage comes with different stressors that test your resilience and patience. Failure to love yourself enough means it’s easy to feel lost during times of struggle. You get comfort knowing you adore yourself enough to be brave and conquer challenges in your marriage.
3. You’re Financially Stable
There are cases where you find a lady is ready for marriage, but the boyfriend is not. Some of these cases involve finances, as the boyfriend might not have attained the financial stability they believe is sufficient to take care of a family. Looking at your finances, are you ever ready for marriage? There are many perks you get from marriage if both of you are bringing income to the family. Before getting started, both of you need to evaluate your financial situation to know if it can sustain a marriage.
Money is a critical component of marriage that could make or break the relationship. Also, you don’t want to use marriage as a way to get rich as this could attract consequences later. Besides your wedding, the beginning of your marriage costs a lot – from kitchen equipment and furniture to a place to stay. Discuss finances with your partner to find common ground and understand how you can sustain the marriage if you decide to go ahead.
4. You Truly Love Your Partner
Love is among things you must confirm is present before you start thinking about how to get ready for a marriage proposal. You must love your partner for everything they are. Their personality is unique and different, so don’t attempt to change it when you get married. It’s something you need to accept and respect before you proceed with a marriage. It’s easy to tell about one’s character by looking at how they treat others. Know if they’re kind, and don’t ignore red flags that could blow up later in the marriage.
Looking at all things, you should ensure your partner is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Avoid falling for illusions of false expectations and face reality, which means asking yourself if you truly love that person.
5. Your Values Align
If you’re ready for marriage but your partner’s not, it could mean your values don’t align, which is a sign you should not go ahead with the plan. Having values that align makes your lives easier in the future. You need to be comfortable discussing taboo topics like sex, finance, and religion. Ladies ready for marriage should check that they’re comfortable discussing sensitive topics with their partners, as this will make it easier to know what to expect in the future. If there are clashes whenever some issues are brought up, it could mean you’ll endure stress in the marriage. People who share the same values protect their relationship from disappointment, clashes, and resentment. Values define people. It’s not something you can change overnight. They show the things you place much significance to.
6.If you Trust Yourself Around Your Partner
Getting ready for marriage in a dream is easy as everything feels smooth, but before accepting to get married, ask yourself if you feel safe around your partner. This is like a situation where a friend brings life to the party, but everyone feels the void when they leave, and the event gets dull. If you’re considering getting married, you must address topics like whether you trust the person to give you what you need to feel loved and at peace.
You must have already touched on topics that could shake the stability of the relationship. If it feels necessary to hide your true self because you fear your partner would never accept or love you for that, then it could be you’re not dating the right person. Marriage is a long-term investment, and nobody deserves to suffer in silence or suppress some aspects about themselves.
7. You Overcome Conflict Together
Is anyone ever ready for marriage until they go through conflict with their partner? This comes as a learning moment where you get to understand how it feels to deal with conflict and moments of high pressure. Marriage is not always lovey-dovey as you will encounter moments where you will split apart for some time.
Forgiveness is one of the main dimensions of a stable marriage, so when you experience this while still dating, it could signify you can live together for many years to come. Couples must learn conflict resolution before entering into a marriage. Handling conflict successfully brings marital satisfaction.
ALSO, READ 12 Steps to Increase Your Self-Esteem
8.You Have Realistic Expectations
You’ll not find a perfect human if that’s what you want for marriage. If you have lived with your partner for some time, you might be aware of this. So, before getting married, understand that besides many happy times, you will encounter sad moments. It’s common to see people expect the perfect type of love they read in all the fairies, but this is unrealistic as you’re dealing with a real human being. Check the lingering doubts of marrying the person to understand the trade-offs.
9.You’re Inspired to Succeed
Sometimes, it’s easy to feel you’ve found the perfect person, so all you need is to relax and enjoy life. However, feeling settled and not aiming to improve is something you should be aware of. Having the inspiration to reach greater heights comes from an inner calling. It means just because you finally found your true love; it should not mean you should neglect other things, like your job, purpose, or mental and physical health. These are things that should stay with you even after marriage. You should not let the relationship make you forget about your ability to stay hungry for success.
10.You Support Each Other’s Hobbies
If you never fancied fly fishing, but this is something your partner enjoys, you should support their passion and try learning a bit about it. You will discover many interesting things and probably also find happiness doing those things.
Marriage marks an important transition in one’s life, so it must be approached carefully as you expect to spend your life with your partner. Finding the right person for marriage is not enough as you also need to evaluate yourself to know if you’re ready for marriage. Consider these things before you get married to improve your chances of success.
How do you handle conflicts in your relationship? Leave a comment below.
Jade is a finance analyst and has been involved in many successful business projects with a range of companies throughout the country. She started writing 3 years ago and enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of finances, budgeting, money advice, lifestyle, and wellness. Jade loves to spend time with her family and has many hobbies, including hiking, riding a bike, cooking, and traveling.
ALSO, READ HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF
Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney
Going through a divorce without legal help is like committing financial suicide. You might be thinking of going through your divorce on your own
and just using information that you can research online but that can do more harm than good. Though a DIY divorce may apply to certain situations,
it is still smarter to hire a divorce attorney to ensure that your best interests are taken into consideration. Keep reading for reasons why hiring a divorce
attorney could be one of your best divorce decisions.
You Want to Eliminate Mistakes
“The legal system is complicated enough to navigate for those who have a legal degree, so navigating it from a layman’s perspective is like trying to pilot a plane without even knowing how to ride a bike”, says Michael Porter of Haywood Hunt & Associates Inc.
Legal jargon can be very challenging. It can take just one word for you to completely misunderstand something (like a debt or medical issue) or overestimate/underestimate the value of an asset. This is the last thing you want. Why? Because mistakes like this can cause your financial ruin or may need to be corrected with more legal proceedings in the future. An attorney can ensure that your case is being handled properly and that you will not be making decisions that you will regret for years to come.
You Will Benefit from Legal Advice
A divorce attorney can ensure that you get what you deserve during a divorce. This is important because state laws do not always support an even split of a couple’s assets. There are cases where a spouse is entitled to a spouse’s future income and/or retirement. By hiring an attorney, you ensure that complicated issues such as debts, child custody, current assets, future assets, and child support are legally addressed.
You Want to Minimize Stress
Divorce is a highly stressful time. Not only will it be addressing the end of your marriage, but might also bring up painful experiences from the past. A divorce attorney will provide objective help in gathering information, presenting information, and representing your interests. This will give you more time to process your feelings and take care of yourself and your family.
Keep in mind that a divorce will be a very painful time and the last thing youneed is to have to take on legal work. That is what an attorney is for.
You Don’t Want Delays
Completing all the paperwork needed for a divorce plus gathering information and documenting everything isn’t an easy task. Yes, there are court provided documents but that is just a small percentage of what you actually need. Aside from paperwork, there are other legal issues that can prolong a divorce or halt the progress into a crawl. An experienced divorce attorney knows how to avoid problems like the above and get things done as fast as possible.
You Want A Clear Divorce
A divorce is a legal agreement and is legally binding. You want everything in your divorce to be as clear as possible and that each point that needs to be
addressed are taken care of. A divorce attorney will ensure that your wishes are accurately presented and that you understand everything that goes into
the divorce. This way, the divorce would be free from unclear language or errors.
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