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8 PUNISHMENT IDEAS THAT WORKS IN CHILD DISCIPLINE

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8 IDEALS ON HOW TO PUNISH YOUR CHILD.

 8 Punishments ideas that work in child discipline (how to punish your child)

We’ll be talking about some punishment ideas that work in child discipline. Disciplining your child can be fun if done in creative ways. As a parent, you must have different strategies that will help correct dysfunctional behavior in your child. Your child must not be familiar with your discipline strategies because familiarity breeds contempt. As a parent, you must be able to shake things up a little.

Do not be afraid to punish appropriately, or your child will spoil rotten with inappropriate characters. Teach your child to understand that there is a consequence for every disobedience, but your punishment should be devoid of yelling, spanking, and verbal abuse. Otherwise, you end up hurting your child physically or emotionally.

 

In my previous post, I talked about how to discipline your child. I was able to identify the steps a parent must take before disciplining a child. Remember, you must connect before you correct your child. You can check it out here.

I will be mentioning ten punishments to use that is harmless but effective. I must mention that these strategies are not strict. Thus you can adjust it as you go. It can be used for children between the ages of 3 to 10.

So let’s delve right into it.

 8 PUNISHMENTS THAT WORKS

1.Exercise: yes, this one works for your overly active children. I remember my teaching days. I had some students who just can’t sit still, so I intentionally gave them punishments to get them on their feet. At first, they call it fun until they want to stop, and I tell them they cannot. This is where the punishment comes in. So if you have an overly active child, then EXERCISE is an effective punishment. The exercise could be pacing, jogging, or even racing.

2. Apology letter: this is when you make your child write the same words over and over again. It could be, ‘I am sorry, mom, and I won’t do it again.’ Your child can write and paste it in and around the house as a reminder or fill a notebook. This punishment also corrects your child’s psychology. It makes him/her understand that apologizing when you disobey is important.

3. Role switching: When your child disorganizes the house, messes up his/her clothes, or the dishes, then you can apply role switching. In role switching, you make your child do your chores in the house. Your child either does the dishes or laundry. This is expected to be a fun learning process for your child. Using this strategy helps your child understand that doing chores is not an easy task.

4. Book reading: I love this punishment, and it is just perfect if you have a child that prefers TV to homework. Find an age-appropriate storybook and give it to your child to read until he/she finishes it. Ensure you give him an interesting book. This will work better on weekends. He/she will not be allowed to play until the book is finished. Your child will gradually develop a reading culture with this strategy.

5. Punishment Jar: I personally like this one. Discuss with your child and come up with a list of creative punishments. Next, write down these punishments on pieces of paper and put them in a jar. The next time your child behaves in an ill manner, ask him to pick a chit from the punishment jar and do whatever is written. These punishments should help children learn something new or utilize their time better.

6. Replace TV shows and cartoons with educational shows: doing this will help your child focus. Naturally, children despise educational shows. After school, they don’t want to be bothered with academic work. So if you have that child that sits in front of TV shows and ignores chores, declare a week-long educational shows activity.

7. Learn new skills: if you have a child that delights in jumping around, you can make him/her join you in the kitchen or do laundry. Or if you have a child who doesn’t know how to maximize his/her time, you can help him/her acquire new skills, thus instilling time management. Learning new skills can help redirect your child’s energy.

8. Gradually take away benefits: if you have a child who is careless and loses books, food packs, socks, among others then, you should apply this strategy. Gradually take away his/her toys or gadgets. Children do not lose what they love. So as a parent for every loss of books, socks, or food pack, take away a toy or technology. This will help your child learn accountability.

Remember that these strategies are not to be followed strictly. The punishment you apply depends on your child and his/her behavior. You must also ensure that you state the rules from the beginning for your child. This will reveal that you are a fair and loving parent. Cheers to a creative parent.

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Parenting tips

How to Deal with a Drop in Your Teen’s Grades

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picture of teens reading

Dealing with a drop in your Teen’s grade is usually one of the challenges faced by parents. When there is a poor grade, complaining and worrying are bound to occur at a certain point as a parent. Poor performance in school is usually caused by several factors; some may be caused by the parents. A drop in grade is usually a predicament faced by many teens during high school.

Notwithstanding, it is very paramount to decipher these three things,
• The cause of the Low grades
• Why the low grades and
• How to tal
Here I’ll be sharing the steps to take when your college kid’s grades are slipping.

WAYS TO DEAL WITH A DROP IN YOUR TEEN’S GRADES

1.BE WATCHFUL
The first step to take is trying to visualize what might prompt the kid’s failure. Relocating to another apartment may make you change your teen’s school. A change in school might result in  drop in grades. This is usually because the new school may have more brilliant students than the old school. Other causes of a drop in grade might be inadequate sleep, busy social life, too many house chores, spending so much time in school activities, etc. All of these could result in laziness, a lack of motivation, or distraction.

If the drop in grade is so sudden then quick action must be taken. It’s very important to analyze your child’s grades from time to time to see if there is a spontaneous or a slow drop in grade.

2.TRY TO FIND OUT THE ACTUAL CAUSE

Several years ago, I was working as Home Tutor. While I was doing my work, I encountered John who used to be a great mathematician in Primary school. When he entered high school, I noticed he started failing mathematics woefully. The painful part is that the parents of the boy never had the time to have  one-on-one communication with him.
As a counselor, I spoke with him and he opened to me that all he wishes for, is to change school and I asked why? After much persuasion, I discovered that the hatred he had for his teacher in mathematic never allowed him to put his best in school.

Getting to know what’s actually wrong with the kid might be quite difficult because the child may seem perfect in everything that he does. He might be a person who doesn’t like asking questions in class.
It could take you a while to get the right answers. The best is to find a quiet time with the child and speak with him.

ALSO, READ The Dangers of Overscheduling Your Child

3.SPEAK TO THE SCHOOL

speak to the school

speak to the school when you notice a drop in your child’s grade.

A fluctuation in the kid’s grade should not make you be a regular visitor to the school authority. A fluctuation may occur because there were so many people in competition at that particular time. The child’s grade may drop from Grade A to B. if the grades are sustained over a long time, then you’ll need to visit the teacher rather gun blazing or apportioning blames…
One good thing about teachers is that they are able to provide valuable insight of  everything that is happening at school as regards the child. Talking to the teacher may provide a valuable solution.

4. GET A HOME TUTOR

get a home tutor

Getting a home tutor will help tackle poor grade in your child

Getting a home tutor is very important in a child’s academics. Many parents usually deploy this approach whether their child is performing very well or not, they see it as a necessity.
Get one if you feel you’re too busy, to give your kids academic attention, it would help a long way.

5.When there is an underlying issue

Other underlying issues may be bullying from other kids, emotional upset, depression, or anxiety. all of these are usually very difficult to communicate with parents and even teachers too.

A child that is diagnosed with ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) may not perform very well in class. If after complaining to the school and you see no result, then visiting the doctor or a psychologist would be the best option.

6. MOTIVATE THEM DAILY

You might actually say, “is daily motivation really necessary? Yes, it is. Motivation is one of the Skeleton keys to Unlock good grades. it’s very annoying to see your child having this lackadaisical attitude towards their education, without any thought of the future. Motivating them is the best thing you can actually give in as parents, if you really care for your kids.
You can strategically give them these right tips on how to get back on their feet.

• Always give them the reasons to work hard.
A child’s good future is a better reward for parents. This is what they will always be thankful for. It is only left for you to make it or mar it. Make them see the reason to work hard to produce better results, not only in their academics but in other aspects of their lives.

• Make sure to tell them that hard work pays and it’s only the strong that will scale through.

• Always encourage them to do better in their study. If you can be there for them, do it diligently.
• Don’t ever be harsh on them. In this case, use good words and speak in a calm manner. Being harsh will only add more pain to your child, and they might see that all you care about is their performance and not their own happiness.

• Tell them to report to you whatever difficulties, they are facing in their school. This will give them room to open up to you and ask questions, they couldn’t ask their teachers. You need to be available for them too or create time for this.

• Encourage them to enter any educational competition or club. This will help them see other kids like them, doing what they are doing. It creates room for good achievements and good performance.

ALSO, READ How to Strengthen family bonds when you’re staying at home

• Create family learning time. This is not actually easy to do, but it helps in motivating kids. When they see you reading, they will love to read too. It brings the family together and makes kids feel free to ask anything they don’t understand.

• Give them a puzzle to solve. There are a lot of puzzles you can give your kids like kids Sudoku 9*9, kids word search puzzle, kid hangman game, mosaics, pictures crossword game, shape puzzle, dot-to-dot puzzle, and many more.
These are the easiest ways to help kids master a lot of things within and outside their field. And this helps to improve their grades in school.

7. REWARD

Reward here is promising them that “ if you come out the first position, or you get a good average point, I will do _______ for you”. Over 60% would do their best if they have been promised by the guardians. Always fulfill your promise and take them to somewhere that can add more value to them.
Besides, you don’t need to wait for them to come out well before rewarding them, you can do it occasionally just to say thank you for their support and obedience towards learning and life.

8. LEARN TO VALUE MISTAKES

Being angry that your child failed should not make you grow annoyed excessively. You should know that failure always a road to success. No man succeeds without experiencing any form of failure.
Don’t go overboard, shouting or smacking them for the drop in their grades rather find ways to make them accept responsibility to do well.

A WORD FROM RELATIONSHIPS SEEDS
A drop in grades is actually not something we should panic about, but something that needs our time to figure out what is actually the ‘cause’. Kids react to everything that happens within and outside their environment. That’s why they are kids.

Mental health professionals believe that when a child is emotionally down or meltdown, there must be something that triggers this reaction. Kids need time, care, love, attention, patience, and more for you to understand them.
You need to do your own part and so the teachers too. Always communicate with them and do the best for them.

ALSO, READ How To Tell If Your Teenager Is Having Sex

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Parenting tips

When do Babies Start to Walk?

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when do babies start walking


When do babies start to walk? is a frequently asked question by most new parents around the world. Most times when we come across a baby crawling and cruising we tend to wonder when he/she will take the first step?
A child’s first year is full of events but the most anticipated one might be walking. Hence the question, “When will my baby start to walk.?”

When Should Babies Start to Walk?

Research has shown that babies usually take their first step between the 9th and 16th month. Not all babies start walking in the 9th month. Your first child might have walked when he was 10-months and probably you’re scared that the second is in its 13th month, but still crawling. The truth here is that every child reaches its milestone at a different time. There are several factors that may make a baby walk early or not. Of all, for your baby to start walking he/she must have contracted enough muscles.

The stages of walking

An old adage says, “for you to stand you must sit, for you to walk you must stand, and for you to run you must start walking.” This shows that life itself is in different stages. For a baby to start walking, he must have gone through and mastered other developmental milestones. These include:

Sitting Up
For a baby to start walking, he must learn how to sit properly. Within the periods of the 6th month, your baby should start hacking the puzzle to sit upright, using the muscle in his trunk.
Around this time, the 6th month, you can start teaching your child how to sit. When trying to teach the baby how to sit, ensure you’re close enough to prevent falling.

Pulling to Stand
Pulling to stand varies among toddlers still; some may start this around the 10th month. The leg actually needs lots of energy for a pull to stand to occur because 70% of our body mass is fixed on the hip, so the legs need lots of energy to lift the torso.

Cruising
This is when the child starts playing around the house with any furniture he/she sees. The time varies too for kids.

Holding Hands
Holding your baby’s hands while walking would help to improve the coordination and balancing of the child. It also adds fun to the walking process. when your child starts holding your hand for him to walk, just know that he would start walking alone soon.

Walking Alone
This is the final stage of completing the puzzle on how to walk. Usually, it starts with trying to move one leg forward and balancing the other leg. Here, the child may be falling too while trying to walk, but it’s all part of the process.

Why Do Babies Walk at Different Times?

One thing you should know is that babies also have emotions too. Some babies usually have this I can do it attitude; to them, the act of walking is a risk they are taking, and have to overcome. You can even perceive it, ranging from the way they interact with you, even as small as they are.
They don’t care if they fall. That’s why you’ll see some children fall as many times as possible when trying to walk. The beautiful part is that they see walking as one of the several fun things they do.
Not all babies have this type of personality, some also have the mentality of wait and see, an unintentional delay caused by fear of trying. These types are usually very cautious. This factor may be the reason why your child is delaying to walk.
Aside from this, there are other things too, which can affect the time it takes for babies to start walking.

• Birth Order:
Research has shown that babies tend to walk faster when they have older siblings around. So they may want to imitate what he/she is doing. It may be very difficult for your first child to start walking at 12months, but if you have other children let’s say from age 3-7, you’ll see your child become smarter. That’s why you see most children become smarter when they have older ones around to play with. That’s why it’s very important (and highly advised) for your child, even in the 8th month, to start school.

• Stature:
The bigger the size, the more difficult for the baby walking. This is because the baby would need to expend more energy to stand upright compared to one with a small stature.
Even when you look at fat people, you’ll notice that they may experience difficulty in walking or running at old age.

• Recurrent Ear Infections: If a child emerges in the 16th month and he’s not walking, then an investigation must be done concerning his health. Perhaps if he has experienced any ear infection. “An ear infection can throw off a baby’s balance and delay walking,” says Dr. Jensen.

A word from Relationshipseeds
Lack of nutrients may also bring delay in the walking puzzle of a child. When a child lacks calcium, it causes an almost permanent impedance to walk-ability. If you notice that after 17 months, you see no visible changes, then you should seek professional help. Meet a pediatrician, a child doctor.

ALSO, READ Major differences between first and second pregnancies

Reference:

  1. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.johnsonsbaby.co.uk/amp/play-and-learning/when-do-babies-start-to-walk
  2. https://www.parents.com/baby/development/walking/when-do-babies-start-walking/
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Parenting tips

How To Tell If Your Teenager Is Having Sex

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signs your teenager is having sex




When puberty shows up, teenagers often make so many wrong choices. Teenage age is a very sensitive period where teens want to explore, try new things, and all that. We are living in a world of technology where you can easily get access to anything you want online. Whether it is boyfriend, phone sex, porn clips, illicit materials, and so on.
These days Teens are so smart that they can keep a secret from you without you having a clue. Here, we’ll be looking at the signs that show your child is sexually active.

SIGNS YOUR TEENAGER IS HAVING SEX

1. Ask Your Teenager

One may say why would I ask? When you keep on shying away from asking questions like that things may not end well. when you finally decide to ask her that question, choose your words carefully, if you do it a threatening way, you may not get the answers you are seeking, instead, they will tell you lies out of fear.
This approach is a 50:50 because Teens love being secretive, if you’ve never had a deep conversation or you’re not very close with your child you can never get a YES ANSWER.

2. Provocative Dressing

Like I said in the beginning, the teenage age is an exploring age. When you see that your child starts dressing provocatively, it could mean that they’ve already eaten the forbidden fruit. Apart from the girls dressing seductively, the guys may also dress exposing their chests or buying a pink lips balm.
The adolescence stage is when teens become conscious of their appearance and body image. When the girls start having s*x, it usually gives them a heightened sense of maturity, this would make them pay more attention to whatever they wear.

3. More Secretive
When you notice that your child becomes more secretive than ever, it could be a sign that they are started having sex already. You’ll notice they hide their phone whenever they are operating it, use passworded phones; they also use coded language while chatting.
Being secretive is always associated with suspicious movements, such as coming home late, become overprotective about their privacy, because they don’t want you to find out. Even when they want to go out they always find it difficult to tell you where they are going. They will never make a phone call in your presence except it’s a family member that’s calling.

4. Check for Signs of Sexual Activity
Seeing condoms or contraceptives is a sign of sexual activity. It could mean that they are planning to have it or might have done it already. When you notice it, you don’t need to start boil, all you need is a conversation with your child to know what’s up.
When you see these tools in your child’s possession, it means that they are well equipped with the knowledge on how to avoid unwanted pregnancies or prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). So you have to educate them more about unwanted pregnancy, STI, and how having sex can destroy their dreams and career.

5. Behavioral Change
When a child starts doing something evil, you’ll notice that they either become more extroverted or introverted depending on their type of personality. Sometimes, they may become more stubborn. For instance, imagine your child of 18 having an affair with someone who’s 40years of age. The child might start disrespecting you and your partner.
Also, the child may become happier than before. Always try to notice and find out the reason(s) for their new behavior.

6. Keeping Tabs On You
They become too conscious of you. If they want to know where you are going and how many hours you will be spending. Similarly, they will want to know the number of days you are going to spend.
Occasionally, when you come too early, they’d become angry or anxious because they need more time to carry out what they want.

7. Poor Grades In School

The reason why it is not good for teens to engage in sexual activities is that they are not mature enough to handle what relationship or sex is all about. Sex and relationship can take your whole emotions and can drain you mentally.
I remembered when I fell in love during my 11th grade in high school. I can boldly confess that whenever I’m reading my books, I always see the picture of the girl I’m falling for. It took me 6weeks to get over her. When I was in love with her I could barely focus very well on my academics. Also, I’m very sure that I would have failed woefully in high school if I had dated her.
When a teen starts dating at a very young age, it will be very difficult to balance emotions and priorities properly. There are lots of distractions when your child starts premarital sex.

8. Being Involved In Their Life Regularly

The key to being involved in their life is communication. As a parent, there should not be a communication gap. Make your kids open up to you. Some kids might be very difficult or have hardened hearts, but you have to try your best.
Always make them know that you are available for them if any issue arises. With this, if they are facing sort of sexual humiliation they will be able to tell you faster than when you are far away from them.

9. Know Their Friends And Partner
An African adage says “show me your friend and I’ll tell you who you are”. If you do well as a parent to know the character of your child’s friend you’ll be able to know the capability of your child. For example, if the friends of your child are all womanizer or involve in illicit sex, it a sign that your child could be sexually active.
What other signs do you think can point out a sexually active child?

ALSO, READ Exploring the different sexual location






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