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Modern day definition of marriage

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 What is marriage?

Marriage is a symbolic union between a man and woman, it involves two people unanimously coming together as husband and wife. Marriage is a sacred union between two parties (male and female). By the word sacred, I mean sacrosanct, divine, holy, inviolable, and consecrated, it’s a union to be valued, cherished, adored, and respected by the two persons involved.

Marriage is sweet, interesting, lovely, and appreciated if and only if the two parties agree to make it work. You can make your marriage be how you want it, but the question is are you ready and willing to pay the prize? Are you just after the rosy part of marriage?

Before going into this union called marriage, there are some questions you should ask yourself and answer by yourself.

asking questions like

Questions like:

🌟 What exactly is marriage?

🌟 Am I ready for marriage?

🌟 How prepared am I for marriage?

🌟 What knowledge have I acquired about marriage?

🌟 What exactly am I after in marriage, (companionship or procreation or both)?

🌟 Do I really love this person I want to settle down with?

🌟Am I financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stable to get married?

🌟 Can I withstand the ups and downs in marriage?

🌟 Can I tolerate my partner’s excesses?

 

These questions and more are very important for you to meditate on and answer sincerely before you work down the aisle and say “Yes I do”.

Questions to ask before getting married

1.What exactly is marriage?

Like I said earlier, marriage is a union,a sacred one between two people who agree to be joined in holy matrimony. Presently, people have a different picture of marriage entirely. Before you make up your mind to get married, you should and must have a good knowledge of marriage, because when you have a proper understanding of what you are going into, you will surely know how to perform your duties as expected.

Marriage is a union created by God for man, for the sole reason of companionship and procreation. Your union brings you together, to help, appreciate, love, understand each other as soulmates. Your purpose of getting married should be known, either for companionship or procreation or both. If this is not stated as it suits you both, the purpose of your marriage will be lost.

This is where most couples make mistakes, they fail to define what kind of relationship they want or how their marriage will look like. They just jump into marriage with little or no knowledge of what marriage is.

Marriage goes beyond the union of coming together as husband and wife, as couples you are meant to complete, assist and help each other in all ramifications. It is a blissful union meant for soulmates (Divinely connected) to fill in the gap for each other. You practically help each other grow and make yourselves happy, through commitment, love, affection, care, and standing for each other.

 

2.Am I ready for marriage?

How ready are you for marriage? are you actually prepared for marriage or wedding? Maybe you are just after the beautiful wedding shower, accessories, wedding party etc. A lot of people are only preparing or are prepared for a wedding, not marriage. They only have an idea of how to get beautiful stuff for their wedding but know little or nothing of the beautiful things to spice their marriage and make it work.

So are you really ready for marriage? Or you are just prepared to flaunt your wedding outfits instead of your marriage to be a model of example to others and encourage people to build and have a beautiful healthy marriage.

 

3.How prepared am I for marriage

Are you ready to support your partner? In marriage you look out for your soulmate, you are no longer alone, you now have someone to care for, are you ready to be a shoulder your partner can lean on? can you stand for your partner and defend him/ her? Can you be someone to hold on to?

Are you ready to perform the duties expected of you as a wife or a husband? answer these questions before you accept that marriage proposal. Marriage has a lot of commitment, you should be ready to make sacrifices and be committed to each other.

4.What knowledge have I acquired about marriage?

Knowledge is power, the level of information you have about something determines how well you perform, marriage is like a school, but here you don’t graduate,”No graduation in marriage”.You continue to learn and make adjustments where necessary. Your knowledge about marriage will determine if your marriage will be successful or not.

Note: Knowledge here, is not just any form of fabricated information, it must be the right information, not all knowledge are helpful, some can destroy your marriage.

Seek knowledge from the right source, read books and learn from people whose marriage are glowing and fruitful.

5.What exactly am I after in marriage (Companionship and procreation)

Marriage is solely for the purpose of procreation and companionship, but this can be determined by you and your partner. Discuss what you want. If you guys want to bear kids or not.

A lot of people have issues in their homes because they failed to discuss some crucial things about what they want in a marriage. Your goal about marriage should be in line with that of your partner, selfish reasons should not come in. Two must agree to become one, in marriage, you must agree on what you guys want and need.

ALSO, READ Before marriage questions for a healthy relationship

6.Do I really love this person I want to settle down with?

Love is a feeling, an emotion felt. inwardly, it connects you to your partner. Love is a great attraction. You must love your partner enough for you to spend the rest of your life with. The love you have for your partner should not be based on selfish reasons, true love that keeps you guys going even in tough times.

Love strengthens, heals, and binds you together. If you love shallowly your union will be shallow and not productive. When I say love I mean deep and affectionate love for your partner, which assures security, approval, and commitment, without this kind of love you can’t be committed to your partner.

Love is not selfish, hurtful, deceitful, painful, wickedness, but love is joy, peace, in-depth happiness, sacrifice, and commitment. When you love genuinely your partner becomes your major priority.

 

7.Am I financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stable to get married?

married couples on top of money

What is your financial status like? Can you boast of taking care of yourself how much more another person? Your financial state counts before you consider marriage, you can’t be planing to get married and you have a lot of unpaid bills.Financial crisis has become the order of the day in most homes which sometimes leads to divorce, you should consider your income because you have a lot of needs and bills to take care of together.

Emotional stability affects your marriage positively or negatively, if you are still emotionally broken, it’s not advisable to go into marriage, if your heart is filled with hatred, then deal with it first. Don’t go into marriage in such a state, else how do you intend to show love, when you can’t let go of the past hurts.

Your physical stability, both health-wise, & mentally, all together are what makes you complete as a human. Your brain must be active and ready to settle with your partner.

Spiritually, do you guys connect body, spirit, and soul? You must be at the same level in this aspect else your relationship will suffer.

 

8.Can I tolerate the ups and downs in marriage?

Marriage is full of ups and downs, the moment you acknowledge that all your marital fears are over. You and your partner are two polar different people with a different temperament, personality, and character, you should be ready to tolerate the different phases that show up in your marriage.

Every marriage has its beautiful moment and challenging moment, your ability to withstand, tolerate, and solve your problems together makes your marriage to be successful and unique.

 

9.Can I tolerate my partner’s excesses?

Like I mentioned earlier, you and your partner are two polar opposite people, what you like might be what he or she dislikes. Marriage creates room for adjustments where and when necessary, you must learn to tolerate, understand and adjust because marriage is for better or worse till death do you part.

You are not perfect neither is your partner but you can make a perfect marriage by having mutual respect, being committed, understanding, and having affection for each other.

 

 Modern-day marriage in the present society

Most marriages today have become a charade, couples now take marriage as employment. when they are fed up, they quit and seek for another partner, like a job hunter, but the question is how long will you continue to “Spouse hunt”.”

Marriage is not a bed of roses”, but today most people have failed to understand this fact, you can’t possibly get everything you wished for, no one is perfect, you are not also perfect, that your partner has some flaws is not enough reason to leave because you don’t know how the next person you are “Spouse hunting for” will be, even flaws has it’s benefits, for example, stubborn people are good decision makers and overly organized people are good at paying bills on time.

Majority don’t put into consideration these things mentioned above, that is why most marriages are suffering today and the rate of divorce cases is increasing by the day. Marriage is now assumed to be a contract, when you have finally gotten what you want selfishly or you are tired or no longer satisfied with the said contract, you file for a divorce.

ALSO, READ God promises in marriage

Marriage has lost its sense of value and dignity, they say is not a do-or-die affair and as such no mutual respect, understanding, genuine love and affection, tolerance, honesty, sincerity, and fidelity. Which are basically the building blocks for a healthy and happy marriage. Couples fail to understand the importance of the fundamentals of marriage, they want everything at a plater of gold, no one wants to pay the price and make sacrifices that will make the marriage blissful. Marital issues are not settled, instead of sorting things out maturely and amicably, matters of importance or concern are swept under the rug.

Communication gap is a major barrier in marriage, lack of communication destroys relationships and no matter what you do, the bond that once existed begins to diminish. Couples live their lives based on assumption, you assume your partner is supposed to know and actually he or she doesn’t. Men and women reason, react and behave differently, the male psychology is different from that of females. You may feel your actions are right but in the sight of your partner it’s wrong and hurtful and you wouldn’t know without proper communication.

When last did you care about your partner’s emotions before acting? you only care about yourself and how things dim fit to you. Love is meant to be mutual, caring, and respectful, and if you can’t treat your partner right then it’s no longer love.

happy couple

Marriage has become a game and a field for infidelity, couples have turned their union as a means for gambling, they gamble with their partner’s emotions. Faithfulness is a key factor for a successful marriage. When one party decides to break that vow, marriage crisis arises. You can’t possibly love your partner and continually cheat on them, knowing it will break them into pieces. Infidelity breaks the marriage bond. Cheating is not a gender thing, man or woman none is permitted to cheat, or have a better reason to cheat. Your marital vow is to be faithful to your partner till death do you part. Infidelity sows a seed of discord in marriage. The joy and peace of marriage are lost when one party becomes unfaithful.

The issue of disrespect has become a thorn in the flesh in marriage, couples fail to acknowledge the importance of mutual respect.” Respect is reciprocal” is not meant for a particular gender. Most couples lack this attribute, they have little or no respect for their spouse, they speak to their partner so rudely even in public. They practically abuse their partner and criticize whatever they do, not minding their feelings.

Never deny your partner the respect they deserve, but mind you respect is given to whom respect is due, so for you to be respected you must earn it. You don’t expect your partner to respect you when you don’t behave responsibly, you must be worthy of respect first before you can be respected because your responsible attitude triggers respect from your partner.

This generation is so proud that when you emphasize on respect.  they don’t even see why respect should be a matter of concern in marriage. The fact that you both are married and have become one doesn’t mean you should not value, appreciate and respect your partner. Respect is an asset in Marriage, it’s one of the key factors that determine the life span of your marriage.

Marriage is a blessing and as such demands a lot of sacrifices, if you don’t truly have your partner at heart you will never see the reason to make sacrifices. Some couples are so self-centered, all they know is how to satisfy and please themselves, they can never compromise when necessary just to make their partner happy but they would want their partner to always please them whether it’s convenient for them or not. You can’t expect to receive when you don’t give out. You receive what you give, when you become selfish your marriage becomes stunted.

Family crisis is inevitable but it becomes a tug of war when there is no commitment. How committed are you to your partner? Are you committed with time? Are you committed to your partner’s needs? Do you really care about your partner?

Whenever you plan to go out on a date, do you always keep to time or you show up late or you don’t show up at all. when you can’t make it do you give notice before time or you just ignore it? Do you apologize when you are wrong or you wait to be told before you reluctantly apologize without being remorseful? These are questions you should ask yourself and answer sincerely, your level of commitment ascertains how successful your marriage will be.

For your marriage to work, there must be mutual commitment, you plan together, agree together, and execute your plans together as one. Instead of couples agreeing they continually disagree and fight at every slightest provocation over something that can be easily handled. The day you “Say I do” you have signed up for a total commitment to your partner.

ALSO, READ 41 Keys to a successful marriage

 

Today couples don’t see the reason to fight for each other and make their marriage work, marriage is now seen as a car or clothes you can easily change when it’s faded or obsolete. Divorce has become a very good option, am not saying there are no good reasons to divorce which could be as a result of infidelity or abuse.

Marriage requires a lot of work to make it work, you don’t give up working, even when everything seems well, you still need to work and nurture your marriage.

Marriage is like a farmland where a farmer cultivates crops, the amount of work he puts in determines the type and quantity of crops he will harvest, and even after harvesting, he stores the crops to avoid spoilage. Marriage should be guided by jealousy, if you can’t put in your best then you can’t expect a blissful marriage.

Your partner should be your major priority, they are to be valued and cherished and not to be treated like a handbag that can be dumped after been used to your satisfaction. Marriage is a lifetime journey and commitment, you don’t just discard it because you don’t feel that person anymore. Your partner is your better half and bet me, you can’t discard your better half because you don’t feel like keeping it anymore.

“Marriage is like a “SIM Card” and the SIM’s network, Marriage is the sim card and your partner is like the network” no matter how old the sim card looks you don’t discard or let go, even if the network fluctuates and is unstable, you are always patient enough to wait for it to stabilize, reason because the “SIM card” is important to you, you have a lot of info stored inside and so you wouldn’t let it go.

Patience is a virtue needed in marriage and as a couple, if you lack this, your marriage can never be blissful. Couples are so quick to file for a divorce even when they can calm their storm amicably.

Most people before marriage already concealed divorce in their mind, they already have the mindset that once you fall out of love with your partner, or you are no more attracted to your partner, or you guys have unresolved issues then you can file for a divorce. Such people can never be committed in their marriage, they feel is not so important, so once they are tired with their partner they just take a walk in another direction.

Marriage is actually “for better for worse”. you are the only one that can determine the state of your marriage. If you want the best then put in your best. Every marriage has its own storm, your duty is to calm the storm and let peace come in and not to ignore the storm or abandon your partner.

People have become so accustomed to quitting, this a selfish generation where people are so concerned about themselves. People are so career and socially conscious forgetting about family. Gone are the days when people value family and put them first. We have become so selfish that we only care about ourselves and leave our loved ones behind. I am not saying you shouldn’t pursue your career, but the issue of the “me! me!! me!!” mentality has eaten us so deep that commitment is no more valued, they are only after what they want and can get which can be correlated to the failed marriages and increase in divorce cases. If you so see marriage as an investment then being committed and putting in enough work would mean a good dividend in your marriage. Compromise is a difficult concept when it’s so easy to quit, when you can’t have your way, if we can’t let go of our selfish desires, then there will be an increase in failing marriage and divorce will be inevitable.

 

 the ideal kind of marriage?

The ideal kind of marriage is not all about respect, love, flirting around, having a fun time together, it also involves disagreeing and agreeing. Marriage is not all about butterflies and rainbows, but going through all that and still being committed to each other, coming out and holding hands on the other side of the wind is rainbows and butterflies and unicorns too.

An ideal marriage is a marriage where both parties have mutual respect, understands, and are committed to each other, stand by each other, tolerate, being sincere, faithful, and honest to each other. These things are the key players for a healthy relationship and Marriage. It might sound antiquated but you will agree with me, it’s better to have a peaceful and happy marriage than going through the process of divorce.

An ideal marriage doesn’t lack sincere communication. communication is the only means you can share your feelings, discuss and settle your differences. We blame technology for the cause of the communication gap, people no more sit face to face to listen to their loved ones, they prefer social media communication. The act of visual communication makes it easier to express yourself and your emotions are seen and felt from your facial expressions and body language.

The communication gap breaks the union and bond and slowly the love you once felt is gone, communication strengthens marriage when there is a crisis. Disagreeing to agree, accepting that you are at fault, and taking corrections without mixed feeling makes your relationship stronger and healthier.

ALSO, READ Causes of Lack of communication problem in marriage and in relationships

 

Food for thought

🌟 Love is not a foundation for marriage, but marriage is a foundation for love. Love alone cannot guarantee a peaceful marriage.

🌟 Understanding, faithfulness, trust, patience, unity, honesty are the key players for a successful marriage

🌟 Communication is one of the building blocks for a healthy marriage

🌟 Beauty only attracts but virtues keep the marriage.

🌟 There is no graduation in marriage, you keep learning.

🌟 Marriage requires a lot of work, you never stop working.

🌟 Commitment is an obligation or duty for couples to build a strong relationship.

🌟 Divorce should not be an option,try to work out your marriage.

🌟 Make the right choice of a life partner, never settle with someone for selfish reasons.

🌟 Learn to forgive always.

🌟 Make your partner your major priority.

🌟 Learn to always agree even after disagreeing.

🌟 Avoid pretentious attitude in courtship, be yourself, let your partner see and accept you for who you are.

 

A Little more piece

Marriage is a divine union of holy matrimony, love alone cannot sustain a marriage. Your commitment, understanding, fidelity, sincerity, and respect for each other are what will keep you going. Divorce should never be an option, except in cases of infidelity and abuse. Above all learn to forgive and always prioritize your partner in your life, be ready and willing to listen to your partner, and together always agree and treat each other as one.

Your marriage can become the best and exactly what you wished for if only you are ready to work and be committed to each other.

Lastly, no marriage is without storms, because you are two different people with different temperament, character, personality, and backgrounds, be willing to complete each other and make adjustments where necessary, always remember marriage is a lifetime commitment and investment and if you so believe it’s an investment then put in your best to get a positive outcome. Spice up your marriage and let it be a model for others.

ALSO, READ 5 REASONS YOU SHOULDN’T HIDE YOUR PHONE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

 

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1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Clarity

    September 22, 2021 at 2:28 am

    Awesome content and tips that everyone can follow and refer through it.

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Marriage & Divorce

How To Stop Dating A Married Man

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how to stop dating a married man

This generation of ours has made every negative thing a norm and tends to forget the absurdness of it. For example, The negativity around depression has failed to be seen as people finding solace in it, speeding toxicity, another example can be seen in prostitution, where this is seen as a “Career” or a source of income. The world has failed to see the absurdness of this making women more objectified and this should not be. Another example is Dating married men, Women see this as a norm and a source of income for themselves, not thinking of the absurdness of this….They just do it without thinking!

When things like prostitution are made a norm there is a tendency that women would date married men. Some of them do this for reasons best known to them, while some of them do it because of preference, they just prefer married men.

Some of them don’t even know why they do it, they just feel like it’s the right thing to do and they just go for it. Some of them do it to spite the wife in the marriage for one misunderstanding or the other, Some of the.do it because it was spiritually inclined into them.

But, This doesn’t mean that some of them are not tired of it, especially those ones who don’t know why they do it and feel ashamed about it, they want to stop but they don’t know how to, they have tried what they thought was right but still had the same results, and I know that you reading this right now might be one of them.

Ways to Stop Dating A Married Man

1: Acknowledge that it’s a problem

Until you see the absurdness of this you would not be able to make the decision of stopping it. Until you see why it is wrong and should not be done at all, there is every tendency that you might not make the choice of stopping. So firstly think about the absurdness, acknowledge that is wrong, and work towards your stopping it.

2: Put God first

When you acknowledge that it’s a problem, run back to the place of prayer and let God take over, sometimes spirituality is involved. Daily reading and meditating on the bible tends to change your perspective about life making you see more of the absurdness of Dating A Married Man.

ALSO, READ 18+ Proven Signs A Married Man is Unhappy in His Marriage

3: Set your priorities right:

It is said that some of them that do it and want to stop but can’t stop is because of the income they make from it, the comfort it brings and the solace added, making it their top priority. This is the excuse they have. But after acknowledging that it’s a problem and putting God first, set your priorities right.

Be independent, withdraw from that relationship, and start a life of your own, where you don’t have to rely on a man or a married man for your well-being, Establish yourself. This is one of the ways a strong woman is built, she starts by setting her priorities right.

Ways you can set your priorities right include

A: Believe in yourself:

Many women think or feel that they cannot do anything without the help of a man or a man who already knows how to take care of a woman because of his experience in marriage. But facing the fact that it is wrong and telling yourself you can do better than that, you can become who you want to become without giving yourself to a married man.

B: Do a reality check:

Look things logically, a married man would only see you as mistress and nothing more, he wouldn’t have time for you, he’d always come only when he feels like, you’re not being loved but being used. You’re not in a relationship that would lead to a happy married life, you’re just eating What you  did not cook, and what you fail to understand is the bitterness of the after taste, you’re in a relationship where you’re at the mercy of whatever he brings, whether it works for you or not.

He’s not going to meet your parents because you don’t expect him to leave his wife because of you, and if he was going to marry you, think about how his kids would feel, they would hate you for stealing their mom’s lover, can you deal with that?  Would your loved ones approve of it, ask yourself these questions.

Doing a reality check makes you come to a realization of these things.

C: Tell the wife:

This basically frees you from the guilt. Your freedom is what matters, telling the wife doesn’t make you a coward, or show your sense of irresponsibility, it only shows your level of good reasoning and good you have come to the realization of the absurdness of it. When you te the wife you are free.

D: Break up with him:

This is the point where you make that decision to cut ties and don’t go back. This is the point where your realization comes into reality. Then you can become independent.

4: Do a daily Mind exercise:

Dating Married men can be traced psychologically, as it becomes a mindset that has been embedded into you by experience, doing mind exercises can completely eradicate the thoughts of your mind. Close your eyes for ten to fifteen seconds, imagine yourself coming out of that situation or that mindset and keep working towards it by the first three things listed above.

5: Change your hobbies:

This might seem funny, but every little thing matters. Most women date married men because of their love for luxury and material things, they want everything on a platter of gold, their love for money would always cloud their mindset, and the fact that they always get it would set their hobbies to doing things that are luxury worthy. For example, Shopping every single day, reckless spending of money on things that don’t matter, etc. Therefore making these things their favorite thing to do.

So changing your hobbies to little things and finding your talent improves your probability of not dating Married men.  When you work for some things yourself and do some things by yourself without the help of anyone, you’d actually know what you actually like and what you don’t.

6: Seek Counsel:

After doing everything listed above, seeking advice from a good adult would do a great deal of detaching yourself from Dating a Married Man. A counselor would always tell the truth and give you the next line of action.

Conclusion

How to stop Dating A Married Man is a choice you have to make, a choice that has to come from the realization of the absurdness, setting your priorities right, changing your hobbies, doing a little mental exercise, and seeking good counsel. With these well done, dating a married man would not even be a thought in your mind not to talk of an act!

ALSO, READ SIGNS HE WANTS TO GET YOU IN BED

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Marriage & Divorce

10 Signs You’re Ready to Get Married

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signs you're ready to get married

Description: One of the things many people fear is getting into marriage for the wrong reasons. Before you consider the idea, ensure you’re prepared to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. Here are ten signs you’re ready for marriage.

How do you know if you are ready to get married? (10 Signs)

Because of the excitement of meeting a person you love, you might feel ready for marriage after the first date. Knowing you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is an incredible feeling. But no matter how you feel, marriage is not something you should take lightly. Marriage requires a lot of work, compromise, and sacrifice to maintain the relationship. Anyone craving companionship must have a few things figured out before saying “I do.” While you can borrow from installment loan lenders for your wedding, it’s something you must think about critically.

Before committing, do some soul soul-searching to know who you are and what you want. Understand the things you can give your prospective spouse and what you expect from them. Being ready for marriage means you have figured out what you want in life and are prepared to be in a relationship where you contribute and compromise. Here are signs that will help you know you’re ready for married life.

1. You’re Psychologically Mature

Some people will realize they’re not ready for marriage after 5 years of dating, and this is okay. Just because you have been out there for a long time does not qualify you to get married. Maturity is an essential component that will keep your marriage going strong amid all the turbulence. There is no best age for marriage, and you should never fall for the pressure to get married because you’re approaching a certain age. However, there’s an optimum level of maturity that shows you’re emotionally ready for marriage.

Experts say that the brain does not reach peak development until the age of 27, especially the part of the brain linked with one’s ability to review long-term consequences and also compare options. Until you have a fully working brain able to assess situations correctly, you should not get married. This is a ready-for-marriage checklist you must complete as it influences your choice of mate and ultimately determines if you’ll have a successful relationship.

2.You Love Yourself

ENSURE YOU LOVE YOURSELF

Knowing you’re ready for marriage after divorce can be confusing, as some people want to fill the void created by prior events. However, this is the time you should trackback and exercise self-love for healing. When you truly love yourself, you will easily give selfless love to others. The way you love yourself is how you teach other people to love you. Focusing on self-love before you get married is crucial as it helps you set standards that no person can undermine. Having respect for yourself means you cannot tolerate disrespect from anyone or abuse in a relationship.

Marriage comes with different stressors that test your resilience and patience. Failure to love yourself enough means it’s easy to feel lost during times of struggle. You get comfort knowing you adore yourself enough to be brave and conquer challenges in your marriage.

3. You’re Financially Stable

There are cases where you find a lady is ready for marriage, but the boyfriend is not. Some of these cases involve finances, as the boyfriend might not have attained the financial stability they believe is sufficient to take care of a family. Looking at your finances, are you ever ready for marriage? There are many perks you get from marriage if both of you are bringing income to the family. Before getting started, both of you need to evaluate your financial situation to know if it can sustain a marriage.

Money is a critical component of marriage that could make or break the relationship. Also, you don’t want to use marriage as a way to get rich as this could attract consequences later. Besides your wedding, the beginning of your marriage costs a lot – from kitchen equipment and furniture to a place to stay. Discuss finances with your partner to find common ground and understand how you can sustain the marriage if you decide to go ahead.

4. You Truly Love Your Partner

you truely love your partner

Love is among things you must confirm is present before you start thinking about how to get ready for a marriage proposal. You must love your partner for everything they are. Their personality is unique and different, so don’t attempt to change it when you get married. It’s something you need to accept and respect before you proceed with a marriage. It’s easy to tell about one’s character by looking at how they treat others. Know if they’re kind, and don’t ignore red flags that could blow up later in the marriage.

Looking at all things, you should ensure your partner is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Avoid falling for illusions of false expectations and face reality, which means asking yourself if you truly love that person.

5. Your Values Align

If you’re ready for marriage but your partner’s not, it could mean your values don’t align, which is a sign you should not go ahead with the plan. Having values that align makes your lives easier in the future. You need to be comfortable discussing taboo topics like sex, finance, and religion. Ladies ready for marriage should check that they’re comfortable discussing sensitive topics with their partners, as this will make it easier to know what to expect in the future. If there are clashes whenever some issues are brought up, it could mean you’ll endure stress in the marriage. People who share the same values protect their relationship from disappointment, clashes, and resentment. Values define people. It’s not something you can change overnight. They show the things you place much significance to.

Check Out: Home Proposal Tips and Ideas: How to Get Your S.O to Say Yes!’

 6.If you Trust Yourself Around Your Partner

Getting ready for marriage in a dream is easy as everything feels smooth, but before accepting to get married, ask yourself if you feel safe around your partner. This is like a situation where a friend brings life to the party, but everyone feels the void when they leave, and the event gets dull. If you’re considering getting married, you must address topics like whether you trust the person to give you what you need to feel loved and at peace.

You must have already touched on topics that could shake the stability of the relationship. If it feels necessary to hide your true self because you fear your partner would never accept or love you for that, then it could be you’re not dating the right person. Marriage is a long-term investment, and nobody deserves to suffer in silence or suppress some aspects about themselves.

7. You Overcome Conflict Together

Is anyone ever ready for marriage until they go through conflict with their partner? This comes as a learning moment where you get to understand how it feels to deal with conflict and moments of high pressure. Marriage is not always lovey-dovey as you will encounter moments where you will split apart for some time.

Forgiveness is one of the main dimensions of a stable marriage, so when you experience this while still dating, it could signify you can live together for many years to come. Couples must learn conflict resolution before entering into a marriage. Handling conflict successfully brings marital satisfaction.

ALSO, READ 12 Steps to Increase Your Self-Esteem

8.You Have Realistic Expectations

You’ll not find a perfect human if that’s what you want for marriage. If you have lived with your partner for some time, you might be aware of this. So, before getting married, understand that besides many happy times, you will encounter sad moments. It’s common to see people expect the perfect type of love they read in all the fairies, but this is unrealistic as you’re dealing with a real human being. Check the lingering doubts of marrying the person to understand the trade-offs. 

9.You’re Inspired to Succeed

Sometimes, it’s easy to feel you’ve found the perfect person, so all you need is to relax and enjoy life. However, feeling settled and not aiming to improve is something you should be aware of. Having the inspiration to reach greater heights comes from an inner calling. It means just because you finally found your true love; it should not mean you should neglect other things, like your job, purpose, or mental and physical health. These are things that should stay with you even after marriage. You should not let the relationship make you forget about your ability to stay hungry for success.

10.You Support Each Other’s Hobbies

If you never fancied fly fishing, but this is something your partner enjoys, you should support their passion and try learning a bit about it. You will discover many interesting things and probably also find happiness doing those things.

Conclusion

Marriage marks an important transition in one’s life, so it must be approached carefully as you expect to spend your life with your partner.  Finding the right person for marriage is not enough as you also need to evaluate yourself to know if you’re ready for marriage. Consider these things before you get married to improve your chances of success.

How do you handle conflicts in your relationship? Leave a comment below. 

Jade is a finance analyst and has been involved in many successful business projects with a range of companies throughout the country. She started writing 3 years ago and enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of finances, budgeting, money advice, lifestyle, and wellness. Jade loves to spend time with her family and has many hobbies, including hiking, riding a bike, cooking, and traveling.

ALSO, READ HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

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Marriage & Divorce

Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney

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Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney

 

Going through a divorce without legal help is like committing financial suicide. You might be thinking of going through your divorce on your own
and just using information that you can research online but that can do more harm than good. Though a DIY divorce may apply to certain situations,
it is still smarter to hire a divorce attorney to ensure that your best interests are taken into consideration. Keep reading for reasons why hiring a divorce
attorney could be one of your best divorce decisions.

You Want to Eliminate Mistakes

“The legal system is complicated enough to navigate for those who have a legal degree, so navigating it from a layman’s perspective is like trying to pilot a plane without even knowing how to ride a bike”, says Michael Porter of Haywood Hunt & Associates Inc.

Legal jargon can be very challenging. It can take just one word for you to completely misunderstand something (like a debt or medical issue) or overestimate/underestimate the value of an asset. This is the last thing you want. Why? Because mistakes like this can cause your financial ruin or may need to be corrected with more legal proceedings in the future. An attorney can ensure that your case is being handled properly and that you will not be making decisions that you will regret for years to come.

You Will Benefit from Legal Advice

A divorce attorney can ensure that you get what you deserve during a divorce. This is important because state laws do not always support an even split of a couple’s assets. There are cases where a spouse is entitled to a spouse’s future income and/or retirement. By hiring an attorney, you ensure that complicated issues such as debts, child custody, current assets, future assets, and child support are legally addressed.

You Want to Minimize Stress

Divorce is a highly stressful time. Not only will it be addressing the end of your marriage, but might also bring up painful experiences from the past. A divorce attorney will provide objective help in gathering information, presenting information, and representing your interests. This will give you more time to process your feelings and take care of yourself and your family.

Keep in mind that a divorce will be a very painful time and the last thing youneed is to have to take on legal work. That is what an attorney is for.

You Don’t Want Delays

Completing all the paperwork needed for a divorce plus gathering information and documenting everything isn’t an easy task. Yes, there are court provided documents but that is just a small percentage of what you actually need. Aside from paperwork, there are other legal issues that can prolong a divorce or halt the progress into a crawl. An experienced divorce attorney knows how to avoid problems like the above and get things done as fast as possible.

You Want A Clear Divorce

A divorce is a legal agreement and is legally binding. You want everything in your divorce to be as clear as possible and that each point that needs to be
addressed are taken care of. A divorce attorney will ensure that your wishes are accurately presented and that you understand everything that goes into
the divorce. This way, the divorce would be free from unclear language or errors.

ALSO, READ TOP 5 MONEY ISSUES THAT COULD  DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP

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