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Great Ways to Develop a Strong Relationship with Your Surrogate



Great Ways to Develop a Strong Relationship with Your Surrogate

Last Updated on February 20, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

Family planning for LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples has become more accessible and accepted over the past few decades. This progress is due in part to greater acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community and an increased understanding of their rights, as well as improved access to surrogacy options. Surrogacy is when a woman carries a baby to term for the intended parents, either through traditional or gestational surrogacy.

With traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother provides her blood and genetic material for conception. Gestational surrogacy is when the egg of either one or both of the intended parents is fertilized with donor sperm and placed into the uterus of a surrogate mother who will carry it full-term.

Laws and Regulations for Surrogacy

Family planning for LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples is a personal experience—one that requires thoughtful consideration, care, and support every step of the way. No matter what route you take for your family planning journey, it is important that you do your research and are comfortable with all the steps involved before proceeding.

You should also find the right legal representation who understands the specific laws in your state regarding LGBTQIA+ rights and surrogacy. With sound advice from knowledgeable professionals, you can make sure whatever decisions you make will ensure a safe, successful outcome for everyone involved. In terms of LGBTQIA+ family planning, each state has different laws and regulations regarding surrogacy that must be followed. For example, some states may not allow gestational carriers, while others may require certain legal documents like a parental agreement between the intending parents and the surrogate. Additionally, LGBTQIA+individuals or couples may be required to use an agency or clinic to facilitate the process of surrogacy.

Building a Good Relationship with Your Surrogate

Building good relationships with surrogates is essential for successful surrogacy journeys. Surrogates are often more than just carriers of the intended parents’ children; they become a part of the family and form a special bond. For this reason, intended parents need to foster positive relationships with their surrogates right from the beginning of the journey.

Here are some fundamentals to establish and maintain positive relationships with surrogates:

1.Communication and Honesty

Utilizing open and honest communication is key to building a strong and healthy relationship with a surrogate. LGBTQIA+ couples/families should always communicate their expectations, needs, and desires to create a safe space for both parties. Both parties should also stay aware of any language they are using that may be triggering, as well as be conscious of any underlying issues or dynamics that may arise in the conversation. This can help to ensure that all parties feel comfortable and respected when discussing complicated topics or sensitive issues.

2.Respecting Boundaries

Respect for boundaries is essential for any relationship, and this goes for relationships between surrogates and their LGBTQIA+ families/couples as well. A surrogate should take the time to understand what each partner wants from the relationship and respect those wishes without judgment or criticism. Likewise, LGBTQIA+ couples/families need to be mindful of the surrogate’s wishes and feelings regarding the arrangement—including her desire for privacy or any emotional distance she might need—and do their best to respect them accordingly.

3.Clear Expectations

Setting clear expectations from the start can go a long way in helping foster a strong relationship with a surrogate. LGBTQIA+ couples/families need to discuss what they expect from the surrogacy process, such as how involved they wish to be during the pregnancy and delivery process, their desired level of contact post-birth, what kind of support they can offer during labor, etc., so everyone is on the same page right away. Establishing these expectations upfront can help eliminate possible misunderstandings later on down the line and ensure everyone feels comfortable throughout the surrogacy journey.

4.Regular Check-ins

It is important to check in regularly with one another so there are no surprises or changes made without prior consent from all parties involved. Regular check-ins are necessary for maintaining a healthy dynamic with your surrogate while going through this process together. Being actively engaged in your surrogate’s well-being helps ensure that both you and your surrogate understand what is expected from each other along this journey toward parenthood.

5.Mutual Respect

Creating an air of mutual trust among all three parties (the couple/family, their surrogate, and their significant other) is paramount for the successful completion of this endeavor. Establishing trust early on will alleviate tension between all involved by providing reassurance that each person understands one another’s desires along this journey toward parenthood. This trust will ultimately enable faster progress towards achieving intended goals without complication or contention due to lack thereof.

6.Emotional Support

Offering emotional support whenever needed helps create lasting bonds between both sides. Showing empathy towards one another creates an environment where everyone feels safe enough to express when something doesn’t feel right as well as share any concerns they may have along this complex journey together. Checking in frequently allows each side an opportunity to express gratitude more often, which also helps strengthen relationships over time.

7.Providing Personal Space

Allowing everyone involved ample space is just as important as staying connected; partners must remember not every issue requires immediate resolution. Giving each other breathing room provides ample opportunity for reflection, self-care, processing, etc. This provides everyone with a chance to feel heard while ensuring appropriate boundaries remain intact throughout the entirety of this process together.

8.Sharing Experiences

Sharing experiences throughout the journey can help create a sense of closeness between the intended parents and their surrogate, strengthening bonds even after birth. Intended parents can share photos or videos along with stories about themselves that are meaningful or enjoyable for both parties involved. These moments will become cherished memories down the road.


A successful relationship requires understanding from both parties. Intended parents should have compassion for the physical changes that their surrogate may experience throughout their pregnancy journey, as well as an understanding of their motions during this life-changing period.


These fundamentals provide clear guidance into building strong relationships with surrogates, ultimately leading to successful outcomes for everyone involved in the process. Open communication, trustworthiness, mutual respect, compassion, and shared experiences play an integral role in bonding between surrogates and intended families.

ALSO, READ IVF Surrogacy and the Chances of Conceiving Multiples



Originally posted 2023-01-13 15:05:44.

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