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Before marriage questions for a healthy relationship

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Before marriage questions for healthy relationship

Are you looking for before marriage questions for a healthy relationship? Because getting married is very exciting, but its also a very big decision so it’s not taken easily.

Before marriage questions not only helps to understand your partner in a better. way but also give a clear vision to your relationship and clears all your doubt related to the after marriage relationship.

It is very important for couples to ask before marriage questions to each other in the right way and if you find any difficulty while answering the question, then you have to focus on the solution and how to manage the problem.

Before marriage questions give you a clear idea about whether you are getting married to the right person or not.

200+ Before Marriage Questions (Best Question to ask before marriage):

  1. What is the commitment to you and how much you are committed to me?
  2. What are your financial habits like?
  3. How close do you find yourself with my family and friends?
  4. If there is any wrong that situation comes in your life, how do you manage stress and the situation?
  5. How romantic are you  and how do you express your love?
  6. What is your main purpose in getting married to me?
  7. What do you think about social media and how do you feel if I am using it?

8.How many kids you want after marriage and how we will secure their future?

  1. Are you feeling comfortable expressing your sexual needs, preferences, and fears?
  2. What is your greatest fear of getting married to me?
  3. What is your greatest strength in getting married to me?

12.Do you ever feel like assertive with me why or why not?

  1. Is there something that you expect most from me after marriage?
  2. How do you manage both family members during the festivals or special occasions?
  3. How religious person are you are, do you have faith in God?
  4. How much you give respect to family values and traditions?
  5. If you both doing any mistake, how will you forgive each other?
  6. Do you respect the values and thoughts of me?
  7. How do you avoid a fight between us and any misunderstanding?
  8. How much you give the preference to physical appearance?
  9. What are your financial goals and how do I help to achieve this?
  10. How will you manage to spent quality time with me in a busy work schedule?
  11. How our family plays an important role in our relationship after marriage?
  12. How much we appreciate each other after marriage?
  13. How open-minded you are, are you feeling comfortable if I am doing a job outside?
  14. How do you control your anger and if there is any situation you are going out of control than how I will manage your anger?
  15. Do you really want or expect me to change in some areas or not?
  16. How do you spend most of your free time?

29.How we manage the child’s responsibility with the job and how to give time to our children?

  1. Do you have a trust issue or lack of trust, then how do you manage this problem?
  2. How much you need personal space or personal time to spend alone?
  3. What do you think about having debt and how do you manage this?
  4. How do you make a strong communication with me and how do you understand what I want from you?
  5. How much sex is important for you and how are you comfortable while intimate relationships?
  6. What your future plan after marriage and where you look yourself after 10 years?
  7. According to you what is the biggest difference we have?
  8. What is the biggest similarity between us and how do you feel this?
  9. How much effort is required to spark our relationship life long and what things you expect from me most after marriage?
  10. Will you support me, if I am unable to support myself in any way?
  11. Will you allow me, to achieve my goals after marriage?
  12. If we have no kids, do you adopt kids or not?
  13. What is the best dish you will cook for me?
  14. How to remove the boring and lack of interest in the relationship and how I will help you to manage this?
  15. What is the best reason according to you why people should get married?
  16. What is your retirement plan and how will you achieve this?
  17. Do you allow my parents to visit us?
  18. One is the one thing you like most about me?
  19. What is one thing you never expect from me after marriage?
  20. What is the one thing you never ignore after marriage which is related to me?
  21. What is an opinion on cheating and how do you react when you know I am cheating with you?
  22. How romantic are you and how will you entertain me while lovemaking?
  23. How you manage professional and family life together?
  24. What do you think about how you prove yourself as a great parent?
  25. Does your partner really care about you and how much they value your thoughts and opinion?
  26. Ask your partner what is the real definition of love and relationship and what is the best possible way to feel this?
  27. At what point of time after marriage you start family planning?
  28. How much you are passionate about your career and how much you achieve it?
  29. How demanding you are in the bedroom?
  30. Is our career may conflict our relationship or may the reason for fight and disappointment and how you tackle this problem?
  31. What type of lifestyle do you expect after marriage and how you will achieve this?
  32. What is your ideal way of spending vacations and how do you treat your parents?
  33. How much you are aware of health, do you going regular exercise?
  34. What is the one thing that makes you crazy about me?
  35. How much you are passionate about me and do you ready to make a sacrifice for me or not?
  36. How do I know that you are upset with me and how will I fix this problem?
  37. How many hours a week do you work?
  38. What does your job entail? (For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, perform dangerous tasks?)
  39. What is your dream job?
  40. Have you ever been called a workaholic?
  41. Have you ever been fired?
  42. Have you ever quit a job suddenly? Have you changed jobs a lot?
  43. Do you consider your work a career or just a job?
  44. Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
  45. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
  46. Do you prefer urban, suburban, or rural settings?
  47. Is it important to have your own private home, or do you prefer an apartment or condo living, with a management company responsible for the maintenance?
  48. Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home?
  49. Is it quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time?
  50. Is it important to have a TV in the bedroom? Living room? Kitchen?
  51. Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on?
  52. How important is it for you to have a space in your home that is yours alone?
  53. Have differences in home style ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
  54. If you had unlimited resources, how would you live?
  55. How important is it for you to make a lot of money?
  56. What is your annual income?
  57. Do you pay alimony or child support?

87 Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Under what circumstances?

  1. Do you believe in establishing a family budget?
  2. Should individuals within a marriage have separate bank accounts in addition to joint accounts?
  3. Do you feel that bills should be divided based on a percentage of each person’s salary?
  4. Who should handle the finances in your family?
  5. Do you have significant debts?
  6. Do you gamble?
  7. Did you have a paying job when you were in high school? Before high school?
  8. Have you ever been called cheap or stingy?
  9. Do you believe that a certain amount of money should be set aside for pleasure, even if you re on a tight budget?
  10. Have you ever used money as a way of controlling a relationship?
  11. Has anyone ever tried to control you with money?
  12. Has money ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?
  13. When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it?
  14. Do you want to have children?
  15. How many?
  16. When do you want to start trying?
  17. What are you willing to do if we can’t have children naturally (IVF treatments, surrogate, egg donation, sperm donation, adoption)?
  18. What if we agree either not to have or to have kids, and I change my mind?
  19. What are the three most important values you are planning to teach our children?
  20. What kind of parenting approach are you planning to implement?
  21. What kind of punishment is appropriate or not appropriate?
  22. When we start having children, how do you envision your share of responsibilities?
  23. What is your perspective of having one of us being a stay-at-home parent?
  24. If you or I have children from a previous relationship, how do you envision our blended family?
  25. If you have kids from a previous relationship, what role are you willing to take or would like me to take with the step-children?
  26. How do you feel about my family?
  27. Who is your favorite and least favorite family member on my side and on your side, and why?
  28. How often are we going to visit or receive visits from our families?
  29. How do you expect to spend the holidays?
  30. Do you plan to live near your parents or move near them as they get older?
  31. What are your expectations regarding sex?
  32. How open are you to telling me if you are not satisfied sexually?
  33. What do you enjoy most about sex?
  34. Do you consume pornography and, if so, how do you feel about it?
  35. What turns you on most about me?
  36. Have you ever have doubts about your sexuality?
  37. Do you think I am physically affectionate enough in our relationship?
  38. Do you think you can trust me enough to discuss our sexual differences, concerns or fantasies?
  39. Is there anything that is off-limits sexually?
  40. Do you agree to bring up any attraction you are feeling outside of our relationship before something significant develops?
  41. What is your conflict style (avoidant, accommodating, compromising)?
  42. How did your family deal with conflict growing up?
  43. How do you usually express anger?
  44. How comfortable are you with having arguments or disagreements?
  45. What do you think our perpetual conflicts are (those based in personality or lifestyle differences)?
  46. What part of me is most annoying to you?
  47. What would be an example of a resolvable conflict in our relationship?
  48. Can you think of an example of a conflict we had that you felt we dealt with successfully?
  49. What would be unacceptable to you in disagreement?
  50. What was a time when you felt most connected and loved in our relationship?
  51. How can we make a conscious decision to tell each other if we feel we’re being taken for granted?
  52. What does our commitment mean to you?
  53. What is the most romantic thing we have done together, and why?
  54. Why do you want to be married, and why do you want to be married to me?
  55. What are the three things you most appreciate about me?
  56. What are the three things you most admire about me?
  57. What first attracted you to me?
  58. How do you envision your life in five years? In 10? In 20?
  59. What is your definition of infidelity?
  60. What do you love about me that you hope never changes?
  61. What do you think you will have to give up when we get married or move in together?
  62. Is there anything you would like me to change or give up after we get married?
  63. Are we going to make it a priority to save money together?
  64. Do we sign a prenuptial agreement before we get married?
  65. Do you agree to consult with me at any significant expense ahead of time, even if you are planning to use your own money?
  66. Are you comfortable creating a budget for our married life together?
  67. How are we going to share the expenses after we get married?
  68. Are we going to have a joint bank account?
  69. If you have an ex or children from previous marriages, what are your financial obligations to them?
  70. Do you have any other financial obligations to another person, whether for legal or moral reasons, that I should know about?
  71. Is there something in the way I say things when I’m angry that makes you feel criticized?
  72. Do you think I nag too much?
  73. Have I ever disappointed you or caused you pain?
  74. Have we talked through those times and resolved them, or are they still affecting our relationship?
  75. Is there anything about me that attracts you now but might annoy you over the years?
  76. If I get offered my dream job in another part of the country, would you be willing to move with me?
  77. Would you be OK with me quitting my job to take care of our children?
  78. Do you like to watch TV for entertainment?
  79. Have attitudes or behaviors around popular culture ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
  80. What is your idea of a fun day?
  81. Do you have a hobby thats important to you?
  82. Do you enjoy spectator sports?
  83. Are certain seasons off-limits for other activities because of football, baseball, basketball, or other sports?
  84. What activities do you enjoy that dont involve your partner? How important is it to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities?
  85. How much money do you regularly spend on leisure activities?
  86. Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling?
  87. Have leisure time issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
  88. Do you enjoy entertaining, or do you worry that youll do something wrong?
  89. Is it important for you to attend social events regularly, or does the prospect rarely appeal to you?
  90. Do you look forward to at least one night out every week, or do you prefer to enjoy yourself at home?
  91. Does your work involve attending social functions? If so, are these occasions a burden or a pleasure? Do you expect your spouse to be present, or do you prefer that your spouse not be present?
  92. Do you socialize primarily with people from work, or with people from the same ethnic/racial/religious/ socioeconomic background? Or do you socialize with a diverse mix of people?
  93. Are you usually the life of the party,” or do you dislike being singled out for attention?
  94. Have you or a partner ever had an argument caused by one or the others behavior at a social function?
  95. Have differences about socializing ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?
  96. Which (if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate?

ALSO, READ How to plan your marriage during courtship

 

 

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Faith

    November 6, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    Wow! This is a lot of questions! How can one possibly exhaust all of these?

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Marriage & Divorce

Pros and cons of marrying a younger woman

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MARRYING A YONGER WOMAN

Marrying a younger woman these days doesn’t raise many eyebrows like before. Gone are those days, when the masses see it as marrying a lady young enough to be their daughter. But now, it has become pretty normal. A lot of people have asked me, what’s the age difference that shows that an older man is marrying an older lady?

I always replied then that it is when a man of 48 is getting married to a girl of 20. Then, it could be said that he’s marrying a younger woman. It can be thrilling when you marry a vibrant, clever, and pretty girl at old age. Choosing a life partner for men is much easier than ladies, it has always been said that “the younger the better”.

What are the Advantages of Marrying a Younger woman?

1. You’ll get a chance to become a father:

the chances of becoming a father is easy
One of the pros of marrying a younger woman is that you’ll get a better chance of becoming a father quickly. It means that if you marry a lady, who’s very close to your age as an old man, she may have reached menopause unknowingly to you. This will make it a problem for her to conceive.
Ladies ranging from teen to the age of 40 are much more fertile than a lady of 48. Therefore, you won’t pass the emotional torture of not having a child except there are other underlying factors that may cause her not to get pregnant.

2. You will keep up with new trends
Have you seen an old man tweeting or Instagraming? This is because someone has influenced him, it could be his kids or his new wife. When you get married to a younger lady, she’ll keep you up with the latest trend of technology. She’ll make your virtual life 10X more active and vibrant.

Even when she starts producing kids for you, your children would be so amazed how you were able to meet up with the latest trends. One of the advantages of keeping up with the new trends is that you’ll have less chance of someone trying to scam you because you know how things work!.

3. She’ll awaken your youthful Life Again
Marrying a younger lady is not like marrying an older woman; An older woman would prefer to sit at home all day, read books, watch TV or Visit a Family Member. But a younger woman would want to spice the relationship by making you guys go for a vacation, beaches, Cinemas, or Clubbing. She’ll raise you up from your armchair to explore the world. Definitely, you’ll enjoy Her youthful vim and vigor.

4.She’ll Never bore your sexual life
A younger woman would always want to utilize, explore and fulfill her youthful Age. She’ll never bore or deny you sex like an older woman. As an older woman’s age increases, she’ll start experiencing low libido. She can decide to stay a whole month without having sex with her husband, but this can’t happen when you marry a young woman.

5. She’s incredibly attractive (beauty satisfaction)
When you get married to a beautiful young lady, everyone around you would be envious of you; including your friends, family members, or at work.
Also, you feel satisfied and happy to flaunt her around.

ALSO, READ 14 THINGS EVERY WOMAN WANTS IN THE MORNING BUT WILL NEVER TELL YOU

What are the Disadvantages of Marrying a Younger woman?

1.She might get bored with you
Remember that you’re just like her father but primarily her husband! She might often get bored being around you
Why she might get bored around you?

• Your conversations might not align with hers. Because while she is talking about the latest trends, and you might be so backward in the conversation.
• You may choose to go to bed earlier than her while she wants to spend more time with you. this might make her bored.
• When she’s looking for who to have a conversation about the latest tv series on Netflix, you may be the last option she’ll go for.
What to do?

When she gets bored around you, what you need, is to learn how to adapt and make her feel she’s married to her age mate. Always distancing yourself from what she loves might make her cheat on you so quickly.

2. You can get uncomfortable with the other’s perception of your relationship
Irrespective of how bold you may be when you get married to her, you might be feeling so shy and uncomfortable with others’ perceptions. The first impression anyone would get when he/she gets close to the both two of you, would be; Is she your daughter? Wow! Your daughter looks so pretty? You guys look alike, are you guys related (or is she your daughter?).

3. You’ll be getting threats from Younger men
After marrying the young lady, you may start having the feeling that she’ll soon cheat on you with someone whose cutie, muscular, and has better stamina. Almost all men who engage themselves in marry a younger lady always experience this kind of insecurity.

4. You might get bored with her
In no #1, we talked about her getting bored around you, it could be a vice-versa too. For instance, if you’re trying to make a reference to a popular story that happened in the 1980s and you’re trying to tell her the story, she won’t flow well and this might make you get bored easily when you’re with her. Another minor incompatibility that you’ll notice is that,
• Your music taste differs.
• She might have little or no idea how to budget her money very well.
• Her immaturity might be exasperating.
• Her intellectual contribution might be vague.

5. Having a Younger wife makes you feel Older
One of the reasons why most men marry young women is for them to feel younger even when they are old. They’ll actually make you feel alive due to their bubbling nature and high energy. One way to you’ll know you’ll feel older is when you are in the midst of her friends, then you’ll know you don’t actually fit in. and probably you might have kids who are in the same age categories with her.
All marriages are the same, regardless of the age difference. What matters is love, honesty, communication, the ability to be open, and understanding. Then you’ll have a happy home.

Wrapping Up

Getting married to a younger woman that loves you alot is an amazing thing. The most important thing to keep at heart is to have fun with each other and live happily after.

ALSO, READ How to make a girl feel special in a relationship

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Marriage & Divorce

How to deal with disrespectful in-laws without stress

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Tips-on-How-to-Deal-with-Disrespectful-In-Laws


Marriage is not just marrying your spouse, it’s also marrying the family of your spouse, which are your in-laws. There are mysteries you will unravel with time; a part of the mystery is with your in-laws.

One of the challenges faced in marriages is having disrespectful in-laws. Not every married couple experiences this, some in-laws turn out to be the best. There are in-laws who treat you as if you are from their bloodline. 

Getting an in-law who’s alive is a great privilege because you’d have an additional parent who’ll impart their wisdom from years of experience and also from matured sibling in-laws too.
The way most in-laws act towards you before marriage may be totally different after getting married to their child. If you’ve seen the signs of disrespectful in-laws, then you must be careful in dealing with them.

All you need to do is to be ready for the fight, till you win. Dealing with a disrespectful in-law is more like you’re fighting a battle.

10 Ways To Deal With Disrespectful In-Laws

Disrespectful in-laws can be a pain in the Ass if they are rude, cheeky, discourteous, and manipulative. Also if they have a negative influence on your spouse, it could cripple your marriage.

Having disrespectful in-laws doesn’t mean that your marriage will end. If you’re able to handle the whole matter very well, they may turn out to respect you 100%.
Always bear in mind that, problems are created to be solved, you can still make peace with your in-law. If you’ve been asking questions like, how can I deal with my in-laws who are disrespectful? Then, this article is for you.

1.Set Boundaries/Limitations
If you wish to leave a healthy life, then setting boundaries should be implemented. All you need to do is to, draw the line. If your in-laws are the type that wants you to cancel meetings just to please them, then you need to take action, so you won’t be treated like a puppet.

When you sir to their entire request, they’ll gradually lose their respect for you.
Always learn to handle things in your own way, without raising an eyebrow. When they need your time and you’re not there, learn to appreciate their concern but if your disrespectful in-laws still disrespect your boundaries, then you’ll bring forth the issue to your spouse.

The worst is staying close to your in-law’s apartment. If you are in that shoe or you know someone who’s doing that, then you need to advise that fellow to move out to a new apartment. Here are some of the rules you should employ to enable you set boundaries to your disrespectful in-laws.

• Avoid arguing too much/ raising topics that set off fireworks
• Every in-law (from both sides) that’s visiting should call first to avoid invading your privacy. They should make calling a prerequisite even if they’re living THE next street.
• Never allow your in-laws to override any decision you and your spouse make in the family. If they are giving you a piece of advice, that’s totally different!

ALSO, READ 41 Keys to a successful marriage

2. Avoid Public Conflict and Drama (Simply Ignore them)
If you’re in public with your disrespectful in-laws, try to give an arm’s length. Avoid anything that’ll bring embarrassment or fight to the both of you. Swallow all the nonsense which they may present you.
Simply ignore them, if you’re the type who always reacts to people, then you need to learn how to control your anger and just Ignore their snarky remarks.

3.Unite as a couple

unite as couples
Uniting as a couple is one of the best ways to fight disrespectful in-laws. Doing it alone might inflate the hatred they probably have for you. You cannot control or react except you come together as husband and wife.

For instance, if you’re a woman who’s married for 15years without having a baby, you’d imagine the shame, disgrace, and torture your in-laws would put you through. As a woman, you don’t have to keep quiet. You’ve to explain to your hubby how the torture is affecting your psychology, marriage, and other areas of life.

Have a good time/Open conversation with your spouse so you’d be able to tell them your awful experience with your disrespectful in-laws.
When having a conversation with your spouse about handing your disrespectful in-laws, never try to conclude because once your partner is on your side, your battle will be won.

4.Limit your interaction with your disrespectful in-laws
One of the best ways to deal with your toxic in-laws is to limit your interactions with them. A popular African Proverb says (Too much play brings no respect). This proverb is usually spoken to kids from an adult. It means that when you play with a child too much, in no time the child would gradually lose respect for you, irrespective of your age gap.

Whenever you notice this disrespect from a child, the best advice is to limit your conversation with the child. This applies to those who have disrespectful in-laws, when you notice the disrespect is growing, and then you need to give them a Gap.
When you give them some distance, they’ll begin to have respect for you. Also, they won’t have the opportunity to hurt you again and you’ll cry less.

5.Only spend time with disrespectful in-laws when your spouse is present
Don’t dare go there alone, it’s like visiting a zoo, probably the LION’S DEN!! You may regret ever going there. Your partner needs to be at the center of everything in case there is a fight from your abusive in-laws. For you to handle your abusive in-laws, never you spend time alone with them.

If your spouse sent you on an errand, then you could beg him that both of you should Go, he needs to grab the bull by its horns… Not all family in-laws have the gut to disrespect their child’s spouse in the presence of their son or daughter.
If your partner is around the home, there would be fewer issues compared to when one is left alone with their in-laws.

6.Summon the courage to tell them you’ve done nothing to be disrespected
Firstly, you don’t have to visit them and pop this up immediately you get there. They may also pop you out if you quickly do it. Look for a time when they are calm to boldly talk to them. If you have no concrete reason(s) for them to believe you, then you need to stop that Mission.

One of my best tactics of getting into someone is to make them feel bad about what they are doing, once you’re able to make them feel bad, they may start apologizing to you and may promise to be the best in-law to you.
When you have the opportunity to talk with your disrespectful in-laws, shoot your shot!!!

7.Turn your controlling sister-in-law into an ally
Handling your toxic in-laws takes a lot of wisdom. Turning your controlling sister-in-law into an ally might not be 100%. But you can smartly turn them to be against her parents and make you scale through the pain. But if she turns out to be her old self then you can trash her out.

8.Don’t take loans or favors from in-laws and don’t extend them as well
If you must regain your integrity, don’t take loans, grants, or any favor from them. When you do and you start giving them attitude, they’ll tell every member of their family that you aren’t loyal.

Some In-laws usually display all these favors to be in total control of their in-laws. Not accepting a favor from them doesn’t mean if they tend to give gifts during Christmas, you’ll now reject it.
Accepting gifts or any favor from disrespectful in-laws always comes with a string attached.

9.Go the professional route
If dealing with disrespectful in-laws is really giving you a tough time, it’s always better to seek a therapist’s help.
The counselor can equip you with effective tactics to deal with your in-laws without compromising your sanity.

Also, there could be some serious issues or underlying health problems that can be causing your in-laws to behave in an unhealthy or spiteful way.

In this case, you can take your spouse’s help and persuade your in-laws to try out counseling or therapy for themselves. The therapist will be able to get to the roots of their toxic behavior and help them through effectively.
The psychologist will teach you useful methods for coping with your in-laws without jeopardizing your sanity.

ALSO, READ  10 ways to keep going when the going gets tough

 

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Marriage & Divorce

Obvious Signs your wife wants to leave you

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Signs your wife wants to leave you

Look, it is true – you are no wizard, but for an imminent break, there would surely be signs your wife is about to leave you. A lot contributes to the future of your relationship, but in the long run, your ability to identify majority (if not all) of the signs your spouse gives off – and the best practices to win her back – is what keeps your marriage together.

Why Does Your Wife Want to Leave You?

Definitely, a perfect relationship is not worth sacrificing anything for, and no woman in her right mind would want that, but when you observe some of what would be highlighted here, then you should understand that some things are beginning to happen that you probably didn’t take cognizance of until it escalated.

A review of other Google queries relating to questions some husbands ask when they feel like they are losing connection with their spouse goes along these lines:

Does my wife love me? How to know if my wife loves me. Why is my wife not interested in me sexually? Why does my wife suddenly want to go on a break? Why is my wife mean / rude to me? Why is she spending more time away from me? How to know if my wife is cheating. Why does it look like my spouse is avoiding me?. .

My guess is, you are reading this because you either stumbled upon this post or you searched it out because you’re beginning to feel distant from your spouse and you really cannot decipher what’s wrong.

What Does Intimacy Really Mean?

Truth is, it is a hideous task; trying to (be aware of, and) understand each other’s feelings totally. It takes bonding to become one, and it takes understanding to relate and live together. The role of proper communication of emotions cannot be over-emphasized, but when even talking becomes a task on your to-do list – that almost never gets to be ticked, then it becomes impossible to fill in on how you and your spouse relate.

A relationship is based on Intimacy, and though you may feel like it is something you’ve already got worked out, there are facets that you might have had lagging. Or maybe misconstrued.

According to an interview with Huffington Post, Christine Wilke, a marriage therapist, reveals that “most issues leading to divorce circle about the need for women to feel seen, heard, appreciated and validated.” Further on she says, “sadly in most cases the issue is not really noticed until it has deteriorated to the divorce level.”

In a similar interview, Kristin Davin, a psychologist, and mediator lays emphasis on the need for both parties to “show up.” She said, “Most women carry the weight of their family without considering their husbands because they feel left out.”

So, what does intimacy mean? In some cases, it is viewed as the feeling bred off togetherness, closeness, friendship, fellowship, and involvement in one another. According to Wikipedia, genuine intimacy in human relationships require dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity. All four; a subject of our humanity being laid as the driver for deeper relationships.

intimacy

In the past, a wife had to stick with her husband for life even if he mistreated her because it was shameful to divorce. Unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore. TV shows, movies, and pop singers have made the idea of affairs, divorce, and starting a new life seem cool. Hence, the quote, “Marriage is not a bulletproof.”

I saw that quote somewhere and I can say, it rings true. In today’s world, if you want to keep a relationship together, you have to build on the respect, attraction, and love that your wife feels for you, rather than taking it for granted and expecting that she will stick around because you are married.

It’s safer to say that if you want your wife to stay with you forever, you have to continue working at being the sort of man that she wants to stay with for life.
If you observe the following behaviors in your spouse, or you find yourself stuck in similar situations as relayed here, then there are probabilities that she is considering a break from you.

3 Signs your wife wants to leave you

1.Arguments.

arguments

if she argues too much it could be a sign that she wants to leave you

Arguments between couples are caused by a long list of underpinned realities; Children, Leisure, Work, Money, Habits, Relatives, Chores, Commitment, Friends, Personality, Intimacy, even more. They exist because (one or) both parties are trying to make the relationship better in ways the other doesn’t agree to.

This is seen to occur more often than not between couples that are still trying to blend. But once the argument stops there are two reasons.

1. You’ve finally found a level ground for both parties to agree, and this is the good side of it.
2. The second part gives off the impression: “You never listen to me!”
A statement like this reveals that she has tried to communicate with you in all of the ways she thinks wise (or possible), but hasn’t been able to have any effect on you.

At this point, you’ll notice that most of the arguments that come up would have the same theme. With time, she believes you’re unchangeable, unyielding, and her life would make better sense if she was away from you. Hence, her next step. To quit arguing with you. A depiction that she has finally given up on you.

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2.Withdrawal.

walking away

There are several forms in which withdrawal can come; your spouse suddenly has piled up excuses not to be together. When she’s beginning to do things without you in it – more timeout with friends, and you notice several other excuses ranging from piled up work and (feigned) tiredness, even as a reason not to be sexually intimate. When she starts to abhor physical contact with you. No holding hands. No closure. You might be experiencing withdrawal.

Now, there are two sides to this coin. She might actually be caught up with work and all the excuses you observe might be genuine, but you might be feeling this way because you defaulted in some things you might want to check out:

1. You may have neglected her for a while and are now feeling guilty for it. Have you in any way neglected her? Probably your work hasn’t given you the opportunity to be the better husband you want yourself to be? Then, you might want to actively work on becoming the man for whom married. This would mean imply that for the expected love, respect, and attraction to stay alive for life, you because things felt so good at the start.

2. You may be making her feel less important, unintentionally. A time would come when she would feel like she has had enough of the ill-treatment you give to her, which has led to her feeling unhappy in the relationship. It could mean that your wife’s attraction for you has faded, as she feels disrespected. The best option for her to regain her respect would be to withdraw from you.

3. You may have been expecting too much from her –a little over the border. This goes along with the second point raised. Just like you, she’s human, and everyone has limitations in some ways. The least you can do is appreciate her for the little she does (especially if she isn’t a housewife).

The little sacrifices that go unnoticed and unappreciated are part of what can contribute to a feeling of neglect, and all other ones that might stem up from there. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages,” emphasizes the need for each spouse to understand, as well as, fill each other’s emotional tank.

3. Priority.

This is meant to be obvious, for someone that is already being withdrawn from. You’ve been unyielding, and dissident. And that has dropped your rank too. She now prefers outings rather than stay in the house with you; a timeout with friends (family, and maybe a new guy), and her plans are gradually excluding you, even financial plans. If you notice this, you’re no longer top on her priority list. It takes two to tango, but you’ve slipped through the rank that she no longer makes contentious efforts at salvaging the family.

Now, I’ve tried to be explicit enough in giving you a compressed pattern that you should look out for if you are feeling like your marriage is going in the divorce direction.

As a bonus, I won’t just leave you with the signs that you came looking here for. The purpose of this article wasn’t just to reveal these. NO. Relationshipseeds would love to know that you were able to make things work with your spouse thus some tips to implement in order to rev up the tension between you both.

Remember my point about intimacy? Yes, you would have to build that back by all means possible, starting with personal efforts on your side; making yourself the kind of person she’d love to stay with for the rest of her life by:


– Paying (and giving proper) Attention
– Putting Effort (into making things work)
– Taking Responsibility (and admitting to wrongs – not shoving it aside)
– Being Intentional (she’ll know if you’re faking it to get her on your side)
– Setting up Strong Communication
– Being as understanding as can be.


A home that lacks these qualities is one that has set itself up for a break already. These are prerequisites for a marriage that’s set to be successful, with or without children. They are what build bonds, and make the familial spirit stay alive. You can always experiment with the 5 love languages Gary Chapman talked about in his book.

Remember, divorce these days is as easy as visiting a lawyer and coming back with some papers to support the claim. But the effect. . . I’m sure you’d want to avoid that as much as you can, by doing all you can to show her you don’t just love her; you appreciate her in every way. And that’s the point of this article – to show you where you’ve gotten it wrong, and point you in the right direction.

Think of it this way: Why does your wife need a divorce (or break, as it may be coated)? Is it justifiable? Do you have intentions of getting the divorce out of the picture? If really you want to work on this, then you have just the signs to look out for to know if your spouse wants to leave you, and you know just what to do.
I’d be waiting to hear from you in the comment section, or you could message Relationshipseeds using the icon by the bottom right of this page. Cheers!

ALSO, READ How to forgive a cheating wife without stress

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