How to mend broken trust in a relationship

Last Updated on September 23, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

Tips to rebuild a broken trust and regain trust in a relationship

Trust is an invisible chord that binds a relationship, it affects virtually everything that happens in the relationship. It takes time to build and strengthen. No relationship can make tangible progress or have a headway if the partners don’t trust each other. It is a necessary foundation on which any worthwhile relationship is based.

There are different levels of relationships, but the depth of every relationship is dependent on trust. You could be close to someone—a colleague at work, classmate at school, church or fellowship member, co-committee member, kindred, family member, and other forms of acquaintance—but that’s how close you let them be. Personal issues are not shared at all.

It’s like welcoming someone into your house and placing serious restrictions on other parts of the house. You only grant them access to the living room. This is practically how everyone treats everyone. No one just creates an atmosphere for intimacy with you without having to assert you through some tests, directly or indirectly. If you want people to let you into their personal space, you have to build the foundation of trust.

Building trust takes a lot of time. One major factor that affects or influences trust is character and sincerity. Once you have the right attitude, you can build trust in your relationships. Below are highlighted signs of trust in a relationship.

Signs of Trust In a Relationship

• Freedom to share personal life experiences or details
• A full-time commitment to the relationship
• Strong support system
• Mutual respect

However, trust is very fragile and can be easily broken. That’s why you should be careful in your relationships with people; it doesn’t take much to create a breach of trust. So, what can lead to a breach of trust?

Things That Can Lead To Broken Trust In a Relationship

Infidelity: This is one common trust breaker, especially once you are in an intimate or serious relationship. Nobody will trust a partner who has a track record of infidelity or sleeping around.

Lying: for no reason should you lie to your partner. The more your partner catches you lying, the less trust you have. Always come up with the truth no matter how bad the situation might appear. Truthfulness is a mark of integrity, giving your partner more reasons to trust you. Tell the truth!

Reduction in commitment: When you quit calling, visiting, and fixing dates as you used to, the alarm in your partner’s head goes off. You might get weary of all the activities one day, so don’t relent and drop your commitments immediately. In such cases, find ways to fan up your vibes.

Secrecy: whenever you start becoming private and hiding things from your partner, you shut your door to them and give them suspicious thoughts. Especially when you have been open, they get worried and begin to trust you less. Quit making statements like, “you will not understand”, “it is personal”, “I don’t want to talk about it” all the time. If you need privacy in the relationship, let your partner understand why.

In a case where you have breached your partner’s trust, how do you fix the pieces of a broken trust together? How can you gather the shatters of trust in your relationship and allow the individual to open the door of intimacy to you again and welcome you into their personal space? Probably you are even considering giving up on the relationship. Not too soon! You can regain trust in your relationship by practicing the tips listed below.

6 Tips To Mend Broken Trust In Your Relationship

1. Consider the reason for the broken trust:

Before you jump into any rescue action, sincerely examine what led to the broken trust. Don’t guess or go around it; patiently meditate to discover what action(s) brought about it. Once you discover it, own the blame and endeavor to avoid a repetition.

2. Communicate and apologize:

Sit your partner down. You could go on a date or to some private place and sincerely apologize. Don’t just say the ‘sorry’ sentences and expect a miracle. You need to communicate and explain yourself. Not justify! There’s a huge difference between the two. Own your mess before your partner, sincerely. Let them feel your remorse, this is why the location of this interaction matters a lot. Make sure the scenery is perfect. You can take them to their favorite place.

3. Commit to clear communication:

a broken trust can be very painful, and hurtful. Your partner must have been hurt. Get them to express their hurt and encourage them to speak. By this, you can fully understand how much you have hurt them and re-present your apology.

4. Talk to someone if need be:

In rare cases where none of the above seems to work, get them to someone. Speaking to a third party might bring relevant solutions that you might need. Advisably, get them to speak with someone they trust, such as a close friend, family member, or pastor. However, endeavor to give them full information of what happened.

5. Give your partner time:

do not expect results immediately. They might tell you that you are forgiven and all of those after your apology speech, but don’t jump on them immediately. They need time to process the information and consider trusting you again. In this period, you have to be very cool. Resist the urge to be forward; take a day at a time with them.

6. Turn a brand new leaf:

It’s a good idea to return your relationship to how it used to be. Upgrading it is a better idea. By upgrading your relationship, I mean adding some extras. Double your commitment, exercise absolute openness, and be sincere. This will surely clear whatever doubt they have left. Also, avoid reliving the incident.

This whole process might take a while. Fixing a broken trust needs time and patience. It is never easy to rejoin a broken chord together. A lot of things might come into play. Don’t rush through the process, give your relationship time to heal. Most importantly, avoid repeating mistakes.

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Originally posted 2020-09-28 13:41:18.