How To Talk About Your Feelings In A Relationship and Build Trust

Last Updated on July 15, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

How To Talk About Your Feelings In A Relationship

When you’re in a relationship, it’s essential to communicate your feelings to your partner. After all, relationships are built on communication. However, for some people, talking about their feelings can be difficult.

If you’re struggling to find the words to express how you’re feeling, our blog post will help! Valuable tips with quick and easy steps to get started.

Why Is It Hard to Talk About Feelings?

At the beginning of any relationship, we feel butterflies in our stomachs, giddy with excitement, and we can’t stop thinking about the other person. But as time goes on, reality sets in.

We start to see our partner’s flaws, and they start to see ours. And sometimes, it can be hard to express how we’re feeling because we’re afraid of being rejected or misunderstood.

And while most of our fears are unfounded, they can still prevent us from having the open and honest conversations that are so important in a relationship. Another issue is that we often need to interpret our partner’s words and actions as they do.

For example, you might think your partner is neglectful if they don’t text you right away when they’re just busy at work. Miscommunications like this can lead to unnecessary arguments and resentment.

So how can we overcome these obstacles and learn to communicate effectively with our partner? Here are a few tips,

Tips For Talking Abouut Your Feelings

If you’re finding it difficult to express your feelings to your partner, here are working methods to build a more effective communication system.

1. Start by identifying how you’re feeling.

Are you happy, sad, angry, scared, or something else? Once you’ve identified how you’re feeling, finding the words to express it will be easier. Are you messed up? Take a step back and think about what exactly is bothering you.

2. Use “I” statements.

When you’re talking about your feelings, use “I” statements. For example, “I feel frustrated when you cancel our plans at the last minute.” This will help your partner understand where you’re coming from and why you feel the way you do.

3. Avoid using “you” statements.

Using “you” statements is likely to put your partner on the defensive and them less likely to listen to what you have to say. For example, “You always cancel our plans at the last minute.” Instead of using “you” statements, try rephrasing them as “I” statements.

4. Be specific about what’s bothering you.

If something specific is bothering you, tell your partner what it is. This will help them understand your feelings and figure out a way to fix the problem. For example, “I felt disrespected when you canceled our plans.”

5. Avoid using blame game language.

When you’re talking about your feelings, avoid using blame game language such as “always” or “never.” This will likely put your partner on the defensive and make them less likely to listen to what you say. If you go above and beyond to explain how your feelings were hurt, your partner will more likely understand and empathize with you.

6. Avoid using absolutes.

Repetitive use of words such as “again,” “still,” or “usually” can make it sound like you’re not willing to work on the problem. Everyone makes mistakes, and your partner is not an exception, but constant reminders of their faults will only make them feel worse.

7. Seek professional help if needed.

Suppose you’re finding it difficult to talk about your feelings with your partner. In that case, it might be helpful to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can assist you in learning how to communicate effectively with your partner.

Conclusion

Talking about your feelings can be difficult, but it’s essential to be in a healthy relationship. If you’re struggling to find the words to express your feelings, start by identifying how you’re feeling and use “I” statements. You might also want to seek professional help if needed. Remember, effective communication is key in any relationship!

Originally posted 2022-11-16 16:25:22.