IMPORTANCE OF TAKING A BREAK BEFORE DATING.
Dating, just like other areas of life comes with its beautiful moments and challenges. There are times when things move smoothly with unflinching support and undying love. At this point, one can’t help but conclude it’s the perfect and forever relationship envisioned.
However, relationships can also take a negative turn. This may be as a result of quarrels and circumstances which may not be quietly resolved. When these happen, the partners may sever ties, and break up.
Break up is a very devastating experience for most people, especially when you genuinely loved your partner and wanted things to work out.
Dealing with a break up from a once-thriving relationship can be very difficult. It comes with a surge in anger, sadness, regrets, and sometimes hatred. While some people constantly question themselves, others recoil into their shell and become uncontrollably gloomy and uptight. For such people, taking a break before dating or starting a new relationship is very important.
7 BENEFITS OF TAKING A BREAK BEFORE DATING.
Some benefits of taking a break before going into a new relationship include:
- Gives You Enough Time To Recuperate:
Taking a break before going into a new relationship affords you the much-needed time to recover from the pains and sadness of the previous relationship.
You heal from the hurts and heartbreaking experiences. It gives you an appreciable time to grow above all negativities and walk into a new phase of life. A phase of renewed energy and visible strength.
- You Improve Your Self Esteem:
Most times, people get so engrossed in a relationship that they forget who they are and their self-worth. They become so determined to please their partner and go out of their way to do things for them, so much that they lose focus. Some people may have abusive partners who constantly treat them wrongly, say hurtful words, and may hit them on the slightest provocation.
You may also find yourself in a relationship where your partner doesn’t respect your decisions and repeatedly dismiss suggestions. Your efforts may not be appreciated, you may be body shamed, manipulated, and severely taken advantage of.
When these happen, your self-esteem may take a hit and it is only advisable that you take a break. To regain your self-respect and a better version of yourself.
- To Work on Yourself and Love Yourself Better:
Just like recuperating, taking a break before dating enables you to work on yourself. It gives you the opportunity to improve your flaws and other things you didn’t do well in your previous relationship.
Moreover, it gives you a chance to love yourself. It is said that no one can love you better than yourself. My friend Laura once ended her relationship, it was a really difficult decision for her to walk away and when she finally did, the following weeks were tough for her.
However, when she got better, she told me how much of a better person she had become. In her words, “I was so engrossed in the relationship that I didn’t realize I was not loved. In addition to him regularly saying hurtful words to me, he never supported nor appreciated my dreams and work.
We rarely went out as partners to dinner dates, cinema nor beach. I didn’t see this as a problem because he repeatedly said we were better at his place, where no one would disturb our privacy.”
Going to the cinema, beach and random dinner at various restaurants were some of the things we loved doing before Laura started dating. However, when the relationship ended, she realized how much she had changed and how long she had abandoned her favorite leisure activities.
- You Find Out What Went Wrong:
A beautiful relationship does not just end abruptly. There is usually a reason, it could be due to a quarrel or a disagreement that could not be resolved amicably. Taking a break gives you the time to extensively go down the memory lane and discover major and minor causes of the fallout.
Questions that may arise include: What did you do? What did you not do? Were you making out enough time for your partner? Were you faithful or not? Was your partner faithful or not? Did you make sacrifices for the relationship? Did you love your partner enough? Was their love reciprocated? Did you respect your partner and their decisions?
The list is endless and relative to individuals. You have to pen down questions applicable to you and provide answers to them because they form the basis of what your next relationship would look like.
Relationships require sacrifices. If you don’t spend enough time with your partner, the connection would be lost, you won’t know your partner enough. If your partner cheated on you, you have to find out what you were not doing right. If you were the one who cheated, you also need to find out why. Was it because of their personality, finance, look, family background, honesty, or integrity?
Providing accurate and sincere answers to these and other questions will give you an idea of the best approach for your future relationship.
- You Discover What You Want in a Relationship:
Not only does a break enable you to find out what went wrong, but you also discover what you want in a relationship. Different people have different choices. When you find out what went wrong in your relationship and the things you were not doing right, you also note what you want in your new relationship.
What kind of job should your partner have? What of their looks and skin color, height, and weight? How do you want to be loved? How do you want to be treated?
What is your love language? Does it appeal to you enough? Can you love your partner how they want to be loved? Will you date someone in a distant location?
These are questions which many people overlook giving rise to issues in the long run. There are five types of love languages; Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch.
A love language refers to acts that make us feel loved and appreciated. It is extremely important to know your partner’s love language(s) because that’s the only way your love can reach them deeply.
Saying words of affirmation to one who loves physical touch may be appreciated but definitely not as hugs or PDA. Seeing your partner once in a month when they love to spend quality time with you makes them feel you don’t love them enough.
- Improve Other Sources of Joy:
A relationship is not the only source of joy. While on break, you tend to develop other aspects of your life which makes you truly happy. It could be your work or other extra things. You could read or write a journal or a novel, spend more time with family and friends, go on a solo date, set and achieve short term goals, shop, and give yourself a nice treat. This break gives you time to do these things.
- You Learn New Ways to Love and It Also Makes Dating Seem Fun:
Taking a break before dating affords you the time and opportunity to learn new natural and romantic ways to love. Having discovered what, you desire in a relationship, you naturally improve yourself.
When you take a break before dating, you realize you don’t force relationships with people, instead, it comes naturally. You meet people who genuinely care about you and accept you for whom you are.
When you finally decide to date, you no longer feel pressured, hurt, afraid, or less confident because you have dealt with these issues while you were healing. Instead, the idea of loving someone and being loved in return excites you and makes you want to try dating again.
We cannot overemphasize the importance of taking a break before dating. However, it is not compulsory and the length varies amongst individuals.
Dating detox should end when you have healed, improved yourself, and feel enthusiastic about dating again. Whether you decide to take a break, the most important thing is that don’t lose yourself in the process, instead, you should be happy and loved.