Secrets are sabotaging let alone having someone that keeps secrets. Here, I will be talking about how to deal with a secretive partner.
But know this, having a secretive partner means two things: It either that your spouse doesn’t trust you (which amount to loving you less) or they are scared to let out their secrets.
Sometimes, sharing secrets, especially secrets that can be hurtful to the soul, can bring a lot of pain in a relationship. There are some secrets that you don’t wish to share with anyone. You rather carry them with you then telling anyone what you have been hiding for long. But, for how long can you hide them, especially if they happened in the past?
Nobody wants a relationship, where partners will be playing a cloak-and-dagger game, hiding information that is very important which can ruin a relationship in the future.
I know at times, opening up to say something you have carried for long to someone you love is hard, because you don’t want them to find out from someone or from outside, is so daunting and hard to do.
But in this case, you have no other choice than to deal with your secretive ways and let your mind find peace.
Yes, it is going to Hurt. It will break you and your spouse down, but you have done the most precious thing on Earth. You have protected your spouse from the future hurdles, you have saved your relationship, you have build a solid trust and strong bonds that can’t be easily broken.
But in the case, if you are the one dealing with a secretive partner and you don’t know how to go about them or make them open up to you. I can say, you got a big task to do and everything depends on you, your lifestyle, your understanding, and more.
So, this is what you should do:
- Check yourself first.
You have to seek your inner self and survey yourself very well to know if you are the one making it so hard for your spouse to conceal those secrets from you. Sometimes, what we are after is who is hurting us, who is not treating us fairly, and who is not keeping up to the responsibility without knowing that, we are indirectly contributing to the ways they act.
Peradventure, you are that person, who doesn’t like sharing all of your secrets and you are expecting them to do the same. Or your lifestyle is not that accommodating and you expect them to be free with you?. It won’t work that way.
There are things you have to consider before you start complaining of been treated unfairly in a relationship. Check yourself first and know where you are lacking, know where you are not making it right and where you are reluctantly shutting them down for real.
- Emotional availability
Basically, being emotionally available is about being open, reachable, sharing yourself with someone you love, the strong communication between you two, the connection that exists, the time you spend together, the deep feelings you share, the great commitment, the challenges you face and standing up for each other in those beautiful, difficult and dark moments.
Sometimes, your partner might seem indifferent to this because of what happened in the past, the fears of being hurt again, the break-up, emotional break down, running from past experience, cheated by their ex-lovers, shattered because of love, and many emotional problems.
Maybe, they are trying to protect themselves from the same thing happening again, not knowing whether they are hurting you or not. Then try to play along or try to align with your plans(or actions) just to avoid bringing you to the ‘state’ of being hurt or left out.
In the long run, it becomes a problem cause the connection, commitment, and other deep feelings won’t be there anymore.
In this case, you need to let your partner know that, they can trust you with their secrets, have this 100% confidence in you, that you can protect or stand for them, and that you won’t take advantage of their secrets or use it against them in the future.
The reason why your partner might be so secretive is because they have not seen those attributes in you and that is making them to be so unyielding to talk or share their secrets with you.
You need to be always available to know when they want to talk and always create that atmosphere where you two sit and discuss.
- Always confront your partners in a civilized manner.
It is so hurting if you are the one putting all the effort into your relationship and your partner seems not to care at all. I think, it is time to confront them, but in a good manner, know where you are getting it wrong and why they are so scared to open up?. At this point, it is not about who is right anymore but what is right to do to save your relationship from this cankerworm that is eating it up. Let them know that, being secretive will ruin and damage the relationship and you can’t put up with the act anymore. Tell them, you deserve better and not to be treated like a fool.
I suggest, you set up a dinner night or go somewhere that can spark up the love that will revive your love for each other. Have an emotional conversation, heart-to-heart talk, look into your spouse’s eyes and make them know, they got nothing to lose.
“People tend to open up more when there is strong communication and the responses they get from their loved ones are understandable, encouraging, and validating.”
I wish you all the best and trust me, you are going to win your spouse back and they will see your efforts in making them love themselves and turning away from their secretive ways.
4. Respond in a positive manner when your partner does tell you something.
A secretive partner might be finding it so difficult to talk because they have felt being locked out whenever they tried to talk to the person they love. Maybe, your attention towards them is so less and you are the busy type of person.
The way we act sometimes, or towards responding to what they have to say, might be the reason for being secretive. Maybe, they don’t know how you will react, act, or judge the situation and this becomes a problem.
You have to be that partner, who responds in a positive way when they are saying something and don’t fidget over it. Sometimes, it would be hard to take in but you got to assure them, you have the situation under control.
“Dialogue wins in most cases, there will give you the chances to fish out what are lacking and how to amend them.”
- Always find a way to trust your partner.
A relationship has its ups and downs, full of lot surprises, whether you want it or not, there are like stepping Stones that you must climb to reach the leveled ground. And trust is one of them. If you can’t trust your spouse or they can’t trust you either, there is a problem and it damages some certain things in your journey of life.
Secret hurts, especially when you find out by yourself but are you going to run away from it? They will feel sorry for what happened and now, trust suffers. It would look like a betrayal but this is time to let them know, you are still with them and they can confide in you, and not to make you find out from someone else but from them.
- Seek couple counseling
Sometimes, it is not easy to do all this. Maybe, you have tried to accommodate your secretive partner and you don’t feel it anymore to carry on, or maybe, they have promised to change from their secretive ways and you have seen them improve on that but at times, it’s kind of on and off.
I suggest you two seek help from a relationship expert ( a relationship therapist works best) and settle in there. This is the best option cause it will come to a point you don’t want to take their lies and secrets anymore, breaking up or divorce might creep in.
7.Decide on forgiveness
Things are going to be tough and secrets will be revealed. You will hear the breaking ones, the lies, the forsaking and the irritating ones, the ones that will make you have double minds and the time bomb. But what matters is, if these are their pasts, find a way to forgive them. But if these happened in your relationship, it will be hard for you to bear them. That is why you need to give it time, have your own space, think about it and decide to forgive your secretive partner.
At this juncture, it is important to analyze your own feelings, if you want to carry on and know what you want because your decision determines how long the relationship is going to last.
And most of all, talk to God to help you sought this, it is not by our strengths, intelligence, power, fame, money, or wisdom but In who that strengthens us in Christ Jesus.
I will love to hear from you, your feedback matters. See you at the top.
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Chubby girlfriend- Top Reasons why you should date them
Who’s a chubby person?
A chubby person is someone who is plump, fleshing, rounded, or slightly overweight. Also, a chubby person is slightly overweight, has a moderate amount of fat in his or her body. in this article, we’ll be talking about the reasons to consider dating a chubby girlfriend.
Being fat these days seems like a curse to most ladies, because they think fat ladies are mostly rejected by men. many will say if I get fat now, no many will want to marry me”. The perfect idea woman for most men is dating someone who’s slim, beautiful, having a great skin tone, and model-like in nature.
There are men out there who’re still crazy about chubby girls. A lot of men that married fat women not necessarily mean that they actually wanted it, but along the line they feel in love with the lady.
Ever since I was born, I hated anything called fat. I ran away from most chubby girls who were chasing after me. I was so good at running away from them with the slightest opportunity I have Until met one, then my whole mentality changed. from my little experience then, saw that the power of love can change a whole lot of things. Love can make you do things you never wished or plan to do. She was so irresistible that I had to break my law. I actually had the best relationship with her until we broke up.
Love has nothing to do with shape, size, background, or outward appearance. Therefore a chubby girl should not be denied respect, love, and awesome sex.
ALSO, READ 17 signs you are dating your soulmate
13 Reasons Chubby Girls Make The Best Girlfriends
1.They are not afraid Of eating
When you go on a date with her, you’ll have full confidence that they won’t waste your food. They are simply more romantic when you’re out with them eating. They’ll even try eating your meal too. I’ve been on several dates with skinny girls and I ended up regretting buying stuffs for us to eat. slim girls are not the food type.
Chubby girls are not so afraid of gaining weight, because they already have it, so they’ll always want to explore and try new things. dating a chubby girl will not actually dampen your foodie spirit because they love eating.
Despite all I’ve said, Some men also have this negative feeling, that when they marry a chubby girlfriend, she’ll finish the whole food at home. lol
2. Easy to talk to
Research has shown that fat girls are much easier to talk to. Their ability to talk about anything is what makes them more spectacular. They simply focus on other things rather than their looks. Instead of their physical appearance, they can engage you in tons of topics.
3.Chubby girls are strong
Apart from trying to say that chubby girls have weight, they are really strong emotionally and physically. So Living this way transforms every chubby woman into the epitome of realized confidence! when it comes to things pertaining to emotions, they are strong in absorbing them.
4.Chubby ladies are good in bed
I know you must have said things like, skinny girls are actually the best because they are light weighted and probably good at exploring. When it comes to having sex, fat women have a higher endorphin release, which is the neurotransmitter that makes sex feel AMAZING.
We also have science on our side. St. Andrew’s University researchers discovered that men prefer a chubbier lady in the bedroom over a slim lady.
5. They are charming
They may not be charming as you think. Their looks may not capture you as much, due to their shapeless butt. What they do is that they’ll try to be charming in other areas, such as their social life. They’ll always try to leave a trademark of good attitude that would make you want them the more.
6.She won’t be picked up by any guy.
Like I said In the beginning, guys love dating slim women. So, a guy who has a chubby girlfriend will have a lesser fear of someone trying to steal them away. When you’re dating a chubby girl, you’ll have a lesser worry about traveling away for some time and having the feeling that someone would take your girlfriend from you.
7.Most chubby girls Enjoy Laughing
There is always a joy that springs up whenever you tease a lady and she laughs. Most chubby girls laugh at the easiest jokes you make, even when it’s not so funny. This makes it more amazing to be with them.
ALSO, READ 10 Simple Hack to make a girl send Her Nudes
8. It’s soothing to lie on their bosom.
Chubby girlfriends are good at Comforting you especially when you’re stressed or having a problem. This is because your worries tend to billow away like light smoke when you lie on their bosom.
9. Always active and sporty
chubby girls are not lazy as you think. Whether you want to go on a hike, jogging, water sports, or on a road trip, a chubby girlfriend would always want to accompany you. They may look lazy to you because of their physique or health status. The truth is that chubby girls are much more active, sporty, and energetic than other girls.
10. Chubby girls are deep.
When you make a chubby girl your GF, you’ll discover that she’s not just into your hot bod, but also into your goals, dreams, and ambitions.
Chubby girls are inspirers, they are just amazing in so many ways!!
11. They Know How to Drink
Whenever you go out, she won’t just take a bottle of beer and dull your fun moments. Research has shown that women who eat a lot have a better tolerance for alcohol, hence they are able to absorb it very fast. so they have the capacity to take a large quantity of alcohol. Chubby girls are really good at partying very long at night.
12.Not afraid to go outdoor
Dating a chubby girl differs from dating a slim woman. A slim lady may not want to follow you to some social events because of her body image. A fat girl is always proud of herself anywhere she goes. A chubby girlfriend would want to do dirty things with you anytime, anywhere…. She has no fear of her body shaming!!
Chubby girls are so romantic. Fat girls love to hug and cuddle., if you’re the type who loves cuddling a lot, then dating a chubby girl should be my recommendation to you. because their soft skin and big body make it an adventure for you.. You can never be stranded of affection when you date a fat girl, she’d give you an overdose of love.
Having a chubby girlfriend isn’t a bad idea. Don’t ever be demotivated by the words of your friends. If you see a girl who’s fat and you like herm, go for her. Always follow your heart if you feel that she’ll give you peace of mind that you desire, then go for her,
ALSO, READ Signs, You Are Not Ready to Date.
17 signs you are dating your soulmate
A Soulmate is someone that is divinely made for you, soulmate’s connection It’s a connection of the minds, soulmates have mutual respect, unconditional love, and a total understanding. You are always yourself when you are with your Soulmate, not only does the person connects with you but they understand your thoughts and are right there with you, side by side.
Love chemistry is a unique, special and peculiar connection that exists between soulmates. It’s something you feel not just for anyone but for your soulmate.
Just like chemistry reaction. Love chemistry can be felt and observed. It creates a strong bond between you two, an unrepeatable bond, even when you want to fight it, it’s just there waiting for you to notice it and accept it. It’s a feeling only you can ascertain.
A soulmate is your better half, you feel complete, confident, and safe with that special someone. With your soulmate, you are sure and sincere of what you feel, there is a deep feeling and assurance that you are with the right person, you just know it’s true.
There is a unique chemistry that exists between soulmates its called the “LOVE CHEMISTRY” This love chemistry can only be for your soulmate, it’s a genuine feeling irrespective of status, looks, or personality. It’s a true love feeling and is real.
Signs you are dating your soulmate
1.You just know it
You just know this is the one, you have a deep feeling that you are with the right person when you meet them. You know this is the perfect one for you, it’s as if there’s a spiritual force leading you to give up everything you initially expected and be completely taken.
2.You have crossed paths
Soulmates are divinely connected people, you must have crossed paths before but at the right time, you meet. You might have met in a bar, petrol station, or you might even live in the same area but haven’t noticed each other, but when the time is right you meet.
3.Your soul connects at the right time
At the right time your soul connects, soulmates are unique people and everything is about timing when it comes to soulmates.It might have to take you to be involved in failed relationships but at the said time your soul connects (Divinely connected).
ALSO, READ SIGNS YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST
4.Your quiet space is your peaceful Place.
Whether you are reading in the same room or driving in the car or you are not in the same place, you have an internal connection. That moment of silence gives a peaceful place and an inner peace for you two to bond.
5.You can hear the other person’s silent thought
With soulmate is easy to read each other’s thought even if it’s not verbally expressed. You understand each other perfectly, you put yourself in each other’s shoes, you both understand each other’s stress, pains, and hardship together. The moment they walk in through that door you know how their day went.
6.You can feel each other’s pain.
You know when your partner is hurt, you feel their pain and help them get over it. You both help each other overcome your pains, stress, and worries. You make each other comfortable and peaceful without any selfish reasons.
7.You know each other’s flaws and the benefits in them.
Yes, it’s true we all have flaws and also benefits. We have our bad and good sides, you look out for the good even when it doesn’t seem good. The good always complements the bad and even the bad have its benefits.
Example: Stubborn people are good at handling issues properly and they are difficult to manipulate, they are good decision-makers, while overly organized people are good at coordinating and putting things in check.
8.You share the same life goals
You guys have the same ideas, mindset and share similar goals. You may have a different way of accomplishing your goals but you both have the same end result. That’s the unique thing about a soulmate, your same goals make the both of you plan together always which gives you a better understanding of each other and value each other’s opinion and ideas.
9.You are not afraid of having a conversation.
Initiating a conversation can be very challenging, but in this case, you find it easier to communicate, share your ideas or feelings, you are free to engage in a conversation, you don’t feel belittled or scared to speak your mind. No matter how demeaning it sounds, you let it out knowing that your partner accepts you for who you are.
10.You are not threatened by the need for alone time.
Your alone time is never a threat to your relationship. Whether he is hanging out with the guys or she is with the girls or in a beach party, or you decide to be alone, you are not perturbed, because you know when you guys come together you have a special moment.
11.You don’t experience jealousy.
Pretty girls at work or handsome guys at the gym or training center doesn’t make you feel jealous because you know you are the only and special one.
12.You respect each other’s opinions and differences.
You sure both have different opinions, ideas, and thoughts because soulmates are polar opposite people, instead of agreeing to disagree with you, allow the other person to complete you. Though it might seem difficult, but you respect each other’s differences and opinions knowing you are both from different backgrounds.
ALSO, READ BEST ROMANTIC LOVE LETTERS FOR YOUR PARTNER
13.You don’t scream, curse or threaten each other with a breakup or divorce.
You respect each other and hold each other in high esteem. You don’t abuse, criticize or underestimate each other or threaten with a divorce. When you have issues you settle them amicably.
14.You give in because you want to make your partner happy.
Giving in when you feel you are right can be very difficult most times, but you rather give in to make your partner happy than making your partner sad, because when your soulmate is happy you are also happy.
15.You know how to apologize.
Saying sorry when you are at fault or accepting you hurt someone is one of the most difficult things to say or do. You admit you are wrong immediately you discover your partner is hurt, it’s never difficult for you to say sorry.
Soulmates are not punitive, obnoxious, or revengeful, they always find a way to apologize and make up for their mistakes. It doesn’t matter if you feel justified, but immediately you discover your partner is hurt you apologize, because when your partner is hurt you are hurt too.
16.You would marry each other again.
Yes, it’s true, with soulmates you would marry each other again because you know this is the one and the only person for you.No other people can fit into your life.
Even in crisis, stress, challenges, and misunderstanding, you choose your soulmate again, because you guys understand each other and make up for your differences.
17.You complete each other
Soulmates complete each other, they are polar opposite people attracted to each other. One might be social or simple, extrovert or introvert, they both complete each other. Their polar opposite differences complement their character which enables them to fit into each other properly.
Soulmates are like locks without the right key you can’t open it. You are the lock, Your soulmate is the key that can fit into your life and make it a better place to dwell. Soulmates are divinely connected people made to spend their lives eternally together. Two souls attracted and connected to each other to complete each other.
ALSO, READ Modern day definition of marriage
10 Simple Hack to make a girl send Her Nudes
10 TRICKS TO GET A GET TO SEND HER NUDES
Getting a Nude from a girl is not as easy as you may think. A lot of ladies out there have has bad experiences with some guys who leaked their nudes on the internet. Even at that a lot of girls in this world still send nudes to guys, but the problem here is “how to initiate it?”. If you’re wondering or asking questions like “how can I make a girl send nudes”, then Keep reading this. A lot of girls out there don’t even buy the idea of sending a naked picture to a guy.
The major reason why a girl will never send you her nude is because of what might happen in the future, she might wake up one morning to see that her picture is all over the internet. Several years ago, while I was still in the University, the nude photos of a beautiful girl were leaked online. Immediately she saw it, she tried to jump off a cliff in order to commit suicide, and luckily she was saved by her friends. From this short story, you’ll see that such a girl will never send a guy nude ever, no matter how sweet-talking or trickish the guy might be.
ALSO, READ CAN YOU FLUSH CONDOMS (Here’s the answer)?
This article is NO MAGIC, we will rather simply give you guidelines that will help you get those nude from her and also help you to maintain your integrity even if she doesn’t agree to send you. if you don’t choose words wisely and thread with caution, the girl will start seeing you as an irresponsible guy.
These are the top 5 comments I got from ladies when I asked them about sending nudes to guys.
- I can’t even try that!!
- I’ll only send it to him when I know I’m married to him.
- He’ll rather see my nude live than sending it to him.
- I’m not a p0rn st@r, I wasn’t brought up that way.
- That’s a sin I cant try it..
- As far his my husband, if he asks me politely I’ll gladly send it to him, after all, I’m his and he’s mine.
The bitter truth here is that some people still send nudes to their partners the way people send good morning messages. Men aren’t supposed to beg for nudes because nudes should come as a gift from them.
3 Things to know before asking a girl to send nudes
1.How long have you known her?: This should be the first question, that you should ask yourself before asking her for her nudes. You can’t meet a girl today and you’re asking her to send nudes, it’s never going to work. Rather she’ll insult you and put your perverted self where you belong.
2.Know how religious she is: before requesting a nude from a girl, the few time you’ve spent with her you’d be able to know if she’s a religious person. If you fail to know about this, when you eventually ask for it, she might even start telling people how irresponsible you are. She’ll tell her church members that you lack manner, home training, and respect for women,
3.Check if free and Very open with you: Examine how free she is with you when you tell her things. if she’s so strict and hard to penetrate, then you need to take things really slow.
How to ask a girl for her nude easily ()
If you want to learn how to ask for a nude politely, then you’ll need to read till the end. If you want to ask them for a nude, never try to ask it directly. Things like this are done in a corny way gradually, till you get what you want.
Anything that you’re doing should flow according. just because you’re crushing on her doesn’t mean you’ll just tell her “send nude”. When you do that she’ll gradually lose respect and regard for you. if she’ll send you a nude pic, you’ll actually perceive signs before she does. She might decide to say words like ” I just bought a hot bra” or something deeper than this. Then you can boldly tell her “hello sugar, ill like to see it on you, how about that (wink emoji)”
1.Make sure she’s comfortable around You
For you to easily get a nude from her, then you need to make her comfortable. A girl would never send a nude pic to someone she not comfortable with. Hence, create an amazing atmosphere, whenever she’s around you. Always appear trustworthy. Girls are so smart that they records of things you say. If you tell a girl something that isn’t so nice today, in the next three years, there is a 100% chance that she’ll remind you of what you say in the exact words. Make her feel safe even when you’re around other ladies,’
2.Don’t Ever Try to send your Nude to Her
This is what so many guys do and it’s very disgusting to most ladies. Some time ago, I was with a very close female friend while i was with her, she asked me to help her reply her messages on Facebook messenger. While I was chatting, a young man stumbled on her account. I began to chat with this guy, not up to 10 minutes, I started chatting with him, he started confessing his love and before I opened my eyes, he sent a picture of his d**k, gosh!! I was so ashamed. A guy may do this because he thinks she’ll return the favor, and this might never happen. If she asks for a picture of your d**k, then it’s fine, you can send it if you want to send. it’s better for her to ask you to send and naturally expect her to send hers to you someday.
“ what you say today can actually hurt that beautiful moment when she’s almost sending you nudes.”
3.Don’t Use wrong emoji’s:
This could be funny, but please don’t try it!! don’t send an eggplant and a water drop emoji Except you guys are so free to talk about anything with each other.
#never send pictures of your dick.
4. Try to Initiate Sexting
Because I said sexting doesn’t mean you should just jump right into it at the beginning of the conversation. There are perfect times for this. If she’s a busy person, then you shouldn’t be initiating it at work. The best time to sexting her is at night or early hours of the day. Apart from initiating sexting at night, you can also do that at noon. But before you do that you’ll need to know if she at home or at work. if she’s at home and she tells you, I’m seeing a movie or I’m just trying to read a novel, then you should just opt-out.
There’s always an opportunity for sexting you could start by saying, “do you know that I’m secretly turned on whenever I’m with you? I just didn’t want to tell you.”. just start from somewhere… teasing her using her eyes, nose, lips, or her body structure. The real truth is that if you can have a s*x chat with each order at least 3 times, be rest assured that you’re very close to getting what you want.
If she saying lets s*x chat, then you can ask her while the fun the reaching its peak.
NB; if your relationship with her is not intimate, forget about asking her for a nude.
5.Ask for her pic
You’d probably be asking yourself if you don’t have her pictures. while chatting with her you can tell her to send a Hot pic. or if she’s going out, you can as well tell her to take a sexy pic. just tease her by telling her that you’d like to change your display picture to the most beautiful and sexiest girl in the world.
6.Use Funny Memes or stickers to get naughty
You can google #sendnudesmeme and send to her, or use sticker to get naughty. when you do this, you’ll start planting seeds in her heart that would make her want to send her pic. This is actually preparation in disguise. She might be waiting for you to send her those naughty memes because she’s also in for what you’re looking for.
7.Give Her Outstanding/hot compliments
Whenever she’s dresses always give her amazing compliments, don’t just give her the normal regular reply a guy would give. Make her feel she’s the prettiest girl in town.’
8.Ask her for it when you know it’s time.
When you’ve done everything you need to do to make her want to send it to you, you can simply tell her that you would like to see the cuteness of her b**bs, she may definitely ask why? But before she asks why, just tell her that if she doesn’t feel safe putting her face in the photo, then she shouldn’t add her face. This will make her have more respect, confidence, and trust in you. she may then decide to send it without putting her face.
But if you start bugging her on why she didn’t add her face in the video or photo, you may end up turned,. Because she’ll start suspecting you want to expose her.
If you must get success in what you do, then working hard shouldn’t be a big deal right? So you have to put in the work! Make her your project till you get what you want. If you’re probably a married man and your wife is far off, then the workload might not be tedious. All you need to do is to be Nice and romantic till you get what you want.
“a slow and steady win’s the race”.
“patience is a virtue”
Appreciate her to the fullest when she finally sends you the nude. Also, tease her even if she might be so ugly.
Nudes are made to be kept confidential. No matter how intimate you may be to the girl, never feel bad if she shuns you down. In fact, she has every right to tell you NO so stop pestering her against her will. I bet you if you follow these tips you’ll have a 70% success rate for any girl you MEET.
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