Connect with us

Love & Dating

Abortion vs Keeping the Child outside Marriage



Abortion vs Keeping the Child outside Marriage

Last Updated on May 20, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

Should I abort or not abort? Which choice is better for me since we are not yet married?

Carrying out an abortion can be very overwhelming and alarming especially when you’re in a country that has set up legislation against abortion. That is to say, abortion would be illegal and unsafe in such regions.

But then again, keeping a child especially if you’re not ready to have kids right now can be quite alarming as well. Especially, if you don’t have money or are still actively pursuing your career and the child’s father is not responsible enough to take care of a child right now.

Well before considering abortion as a first choice, there are certain questions you need to ask yourself.

Seven questions to ask yourself before considering Abortion

1. Is abortion the best option for me?

Abortion is not rare, it is so common, and people are having abortions for several reasons.  You are the only one who knows what is good for you and that is dependent on two factors. Firstly, accurate information on abortion you have and support from friends, family, and medical practitioners.

2. Why do people choose abortion?

If you’re thinking about having an abortion, you’re not alone. A whole lot of people face unplanned pregnancies every year. About 4 out of 10 of them decide to get an abortion. Even some people with planned pregnancies also get abortions because of health or safety reasons. The decision could be simple or at other times, it’s complicated. But either way, you’re the only person who has the final say.

Everyone has their own unique and valid reasons for having an abortion. Below are some of the different reasons people decide to go for an abortion:

  • They’re not ready to become a parent yet.
  • It’s not the right time in their life to have a baby.
  • They want to finish school, focus on building their career, and achieve other life goals before having a baby.
  • The pregnancy was a result of a ‘fling’. They are not in a serious relationship with the man involved.
  • They’re in an abusive relationship or were sexually assaulted.
  • Pregnancy is dangerous or bad for their mental/physical health.
  • The fetus might die during childbirth due to an underlying sickness or will suffer after the birth.

Deciding to have an abortion doesn’t mean you don’t want or love children.  People who had an abortion often go on to have a baby later, when they feel they are in a better position to be a good parent. The most important thing in deciding if and when to have a baby is very personal, and only you know what’s best for your life.

3. What can I think about to help me choose wisely?

Family, relationships, school, work, life goals, health, safety, and personal beliefs — people think carefully about these things before having an abortion.

Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about an abortion:

  • Am I ready to be a parent?
  • What would it mean for my future if I had a child now?
  • What would it mean for my family if I had a child now?
  • How would being a parent affect my career goals?
  • Is anyone pressuring me to have or not have an abortion?
  • Would having a baby change my life in a way I don’t like?
  • What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to get an abortion?
  • What kind of support would I need and get if I decided to keep the baby?

4. Aside from abortion, are there any other options I can take without having to be a parent?

Many people choose abortion because they feel is the only way to avoid being plunged into unplanned parenthood. But that’s not true. Adoption is a good choice if parenting is what scares one in keeping the baby. Through support from family and friends, you can decide to have the baby and put him/her up for adoption. Some other people I have known have the baby and their parents serve as foster parents while they focus more on their careers. When they become stable and in a better place, they can now assume parenting. But this option could be difficult if one doesn’t have supportive parents!

 5. Do I have strong personal or religious beliefs about abortion?

If you have a serious personal or religious belief that’s totally against abortion, I feel you must give it a second thought. Our beliefs shape our values and the way we see life and relationships with others. We can’t throw that into the wind when making important life-changing decisions.

Decisions about your pregnancy are deeply personal. You hold the power to make decisions that are best for you to stay true to yourself. There are tons of things to consider, and it’s normal to have several feelings and thoughts when making this decision. That’s why it’s important to get factual, non-judgmental information about abortion. Support from one’s family, friends, partners, and other people you trust can also be helpful in that period.

6. Who are the people should I consider talking to when trying to make a decision?

Lots of people lean on others to help them with their decisions. It’s good to choose people who you know are understanding and supportive of you. People who are more knowledgeable about these things could help like good family planning centers and private doctors who can help you talk about your decision. But be careful when looking for a reliable health center, because some fake clinics or clinics are judgmental.

7. How long should I take to make the decision?

It’s important to take your time you need to make the best decision for you. It’s also a good idea to talk to a nurse or doctor as soon as you can so that you can get the best medical care possible.

The aftermath of abortion or keeping the child.

It is important to know after having an abortion or keeping the baby that you need not feel guilty or condemned. You have to heal and move on. Secondly, when you decide to have an abortion or have the baby, you must stand by your decision, that means when you enter a serious committed relationship you must let your partner know of what you once did.

Finally, if you’re going to be sexually active after going for an abortion or having a baby, you should be sexually responsible. That is, look for the best option on how you could avoid unplanned pregnancy. There are several birth control pills and contraceptives available. You can meet your health provider to assist you in choosing the best way to avoid unplanned pregnancy in future. Good luck!!


Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *