I know dates can make a person very nervous.. You want to plan your date to make sure you have a great time and show how much you’re interested in. But you also don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard or investing a lot in something that may not work out.
To help ease your nerves, I’ve turned to research to uncover what actually makes for a great date.
Here are a few tips to have a successful first date:
1.Choose the Right First Date Location
Unless you already know what types of activities your date likes, it’s best to pick a low-pressured place where you can focus on getting to know each other and figuring out how well you connect.
You do not want to go to a nice restaurant and discover before your food even has been brought out that you two don’t“click” and it’s not going to work. In this scenario, you’re stuck for the rest of the meal with an awkward feeling.
Instead of dinner and a movie, suggest trying a local bar. The casual environment serves as a convenient space to have an engaging conversation, without the pressure of dressing fancy or buying an expensive meal.
2. Afternoon, not evening.
If you meet at night, she’ll be wondering “Is he going to invite me home with him” or you might be thinking “should I invite her home with me.” This can cause anxiety that has no reason to exist. Remove that anxiety by meeting in the afternoon.
3. Dress well to impress
If a girl agrees to go on a date with you, she’s going to look her best. How do I know?
Because she wants you to know that she’s proud of her appearance, and wants you to realize that she’s a catch. So… why wouldn’t you do the same, and dress your best, too?
If you feel good in what you’re wearing you’ll look good; confidence is everything
4. Opt for an Engaging Conversation
If you are a very quiet and shy person, studies show that when you’re going on a date–especially with a woman–you should opt for an interesting conversation starter instead. Women tend to rate empty compliments and failed attempts at humor poorly. They are more attracted to dates who spark conversation topics that show they are curious, intelligent, and cultured.
Also, the key to a successful conversation in any context–especially when you’re trying to “woe” someone–is reciprocity. When someone shares something about themselves or asks you a question, always reply back by sharing a similar story, or by asking them the same question. It’s polite and it keeps the conversation equal.
5.Have A Conversation (Don’t Just Talk About Yourself
One of the most annoying dates I ever been on was the guy talking about himself the whole time. He didn’t ask me questions about myself. I just had to listen and there was silence “awkward”.
Both men and women have a fear of too much silence on the first date. But plan an activity to bound
One of the most important things to do before you leave the house and before a date starts, is getting your mind right. You can make sure you’re mentally ready if anything happens.
You’ve got to get your mind right before a date.
If we enter into a date feeling unworthy or defeated, those feelings will carry throughout the night. And no matter how much someone likes us and even shows us their feelings, it won’t be enough to break through our own self-doubt. This is why it’s so important to practice self-compassion before a date or every day.
6. Have good manners
Be on time, Open doors. Pull out chairs. Chew with your mouth closed. Pick up the tab.
Be both interesting and interested. Have something unique to talk about. Tell her stories about who you really are and avoid the inauthentic, small talk. Ask her questions about herself that show you have a genuine interest in getting to know her for who she is. Avoid all the topics you know you shouldn’t talk about–exes, politics, religion.
Don’t rush away! Enjoy the moment and adapt. If you’re connecting that well, you’ll find something else to do.
If you can tell that something is making her uncomfortable, remedy the situation. This could mean changing the topic of conversation or even altering your plans. Adapting could make your date smoother.
7. Be cool
Even with a great plan, No matter what happens, you have to stay cool!
Spill your drink on yourself? Laugh it off. She’ll love your ability to roll with the punches.
Your jokes aren’t working? Refocus your efforts on her. As you get to know her you’ll figure out what makes her laugh.
If you have to adapt so much that you’re no longer able to be yourself take that as a sign that you and the girl might be too different. Adapting will help you have as much fun as possible, but you’ll want to find someone with whom you can be yourself.
8. Body language
Basically, keep a friendly face, an open body posture, and point your body toward your date. It’s the kind of body language that we naturally adopt when we’re into someone, but getting comfortable enough to automatically do these things can be really hard for people.
9. show that you’re having a good time.
Stress shouldn’t keep you from having fun on your date and it shouldn’t keep you from learning how to get a girlfriend. Once she sees you having fun she’ll be instantly more attracted to you, imagining the fun you two could have together.
Chemistry isn’t built overnight and love never happens at first sight. That’s lust. Part of building that chemistry is enjoying each other’s company. Nothing kills a first date like a girl) or a guy that acts like they have something better to do. If you DO have something better to do, go do it.
Well, that’s it. I won’t guarantee that every first date will be awesome, but if you do follow the road map above, they won’t be horrible. Unless of course, the guy is utterly boring. If that’s the case, just end it and walk away. Finding the “right guy” isn’t a one day job. Have the patience and the composure to keep searching.
10. After Date
After a great first date, it’s important to keep in touch with her. So call/text every few days, to let her know you’re still interested. Why should you do that? If you don’t, contrary to what a lot of guys think, It will not make her like you more, it will only make her angry. So keep a good impression from your first date, and keep in contact with your girl.
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