It’s really understandable when you don’t know what to do when you start having feelings for your bestie. A lot of besties are in this condition, they feel like they are at a breaking point, some even made good and terrible choices, that they had to leave with for the rest of their lives.
Being secretly in love with your bestie is one of the hardest things to deal with, so let me enlighten you on steps to take when you start having feelings for your bestie.
1. Avoid or get rid of the feelings: the first thing you do when you notice you have a feeling for your friend is TO try and get rid of the feelings. you don’t want to go screaming about your love for your friend just yet, because you don’t know how they feel about you too.
You have to be very smart about this, so you won’t ruin the relationship you both have built for the past months. To avoid your feelings you have to slightly avoid your friend. but do it with care, so he/she will not notice anything being amiss.
- You have been friends with your bestie for a very long time, but for a while now you started noticing these features. How their eyes Spackle when they smile, how cute their tiny snore sounds when they sleep, how childish they look when they sleep, and droll. All these you have been paying attention to, avoid it. Keep away from everything that triggers that feeling, don’t make prolonged eye contact, don’t take in their looks every time.
- Stop focusing on him/her, divert your attention to something else, get some comic book and read, watch some cartoon movie. If you guys always hang out together or you work in the same place, find something else aside from that circle of friendship and do, come up with excuses when he/she wants to hang out with you every day.
- Change the way you think about them. Because you have started having feelings for him/her now you can’t get your head straight, you can’t think of anything else apart from his/her face or how your hickey will look on their neck. Sometimes you even undress them with your thoughts. Don’t make all your thoughts about them, think about your self, your family, or other friends, think about work, school, even coffee, just don’t put all your thoughts on him/her. I know it will be hard for you, but if you try this step and your heart could not take it, try the next step.
2. Understand your feelings and Make sure you truly have a feeling for them: knowing more about your feelings will enable you to understand whether its a true love or a passing phase.
- when you have romantic feelings for someone, The neurotransmitter in our brain that is called dopamine, increases rapidly, causing you to feel happy and all giddy when you think about the person you have feelings for. It will make it that if you truly love your best friend, he/she will preoccupy your daily thoughts.
- You will have a loss of appetite and some times, sleepless nights when you are secretly in love with someone. They will be in your head all day and night making you think and imagine if there will be any possible way you both will ever be together.
- You will feel your heart rate escalate when they are too close to you, to the extent of breaking a tiny sweat.
- if you feel all the above, it’s possible that you truly have feelings for your best friend.
3. Try and find out if your bestie feels the same way about you: There are whole lots of signs that will tell you that your best friend also has feelings for you. You only need to be very observant.
- They are always available whenever you need them, and also finds an excuse to spend some quality time alone with you.
- They tend to get jealous when you hang out with other friends or when you get too close with other friends.
- They feel angered and disappointed when you refer to them as friends, especially to someone who is attracted to you.
- if you have ever noticed any of these signs then that only means your bestie also feels the same way you do, if not, well they don’t.
4. Spill, tell them: After passing all the above steps, then it’s time to tell them exactly how you feel about them. I know it will be difficult, considering you don’t want to ruin your friendship.
- Don’t make a big deal out of it. Find the perfect moment to tell then, stop putting your focus on what if something goes wrong, because something might just go wrong.
- Give yourself some motivational speech to boost your confidence and ask them on a date.
- Don’t go expressing how you have fallen head over the hill in love with your friend. Go for a good phrase that will not make them feel awkward and embarrassed.
- Look them straight in the eye and say “I have come to realize that I have a feeling for you, and I want to be more than a friend” Don’t pressure them for an answer, allow them to digest your confession and get back to you.
5. Be prepared and ready to face the outcome: No doubt your friend will feel strange and be freaked out, even though they harbor the same mutual feeling.
- Your best friend may feel the same way about you, so If that is the case then good luck.
- But If your bestie tells you that he/she is very surprised and doesn’t know what to say, respect that and let them know you are always available whenever they want to talk about it.
- Or they might as well not reciprocate your feelings, because they only see you as a friend, but whatever their decisions are, honor it.
6. Try to move forward, no matter what their reply may be: If your discussion with them didn’t go as you initially planned, then it’s time to move on. You now have to decide whether to move forward or still be friends.
- Moving on from rejection, especially from your best friend is quite painful but you still have to accept the pain and not deceive yourself into believing you are not allowed to feel those emotions. Give yourself time to heal.
- There is a possibility that during all this time of crushing on your best friend, you forgot about your other friends, go back to your friends, so as to give you time away from him or her.
- Distance your self from them so that you will not get so jealous when they try to pursue love with another person. Go on ordinary dates, it may help.
- But If your best friend reciprocated your feelings, that is a very good thing because being in love with each other while being best friends at the same time is the best kind of relationship ever, so congratulations.
Dating is different from friendship, when you date your bestie thinking you know all about their story, that is when you will know that there are a whole lot of things you don’t know about them. Good luck.
Click here to READ 7 Signs That A Guy Likes You
How To Tell Your Partner To Lose Weight
One of the most agonizing things to do in life is hurting your loved one. Most especially if that said loved one, is your soulmate.
Many people are now stuck, thinking how they can tell their partners how to lose weight, without offending their missing rib.
But like all good things, in life. The only easy way is the hard way. As such, you should be ready to dish out a healthy dose of tough love.
After all, you want to stay with that person for as long as possible, before “Professor Death”, comes to mark your life script.
What shall it profit you to keep quiet, then watch your partner, jeopardize their health, and ultimately, your relationship?
So for this reason, you need to take the initiative and stand firm. After all, because you love them, that is why you need to whoop their ass.
4 Ways to Tell Your Partner to Lose Weight
1. Think about the health implication
You have to note that if you don’t help your partner, nobody else would. As such, you are entirely responsible, for turning the tide of health, of your partner.
Remember the vows you took, to love and protect. This is an opportunity to prove to yourself that you love your partner.
2. Be there for them
Nobody was born fat. Due to ignorance in part by people, over time the ill effect took root, and metamorphosed itself, into that protruding belly, which is ridiculous.
Gift them an online weight loss course
There is fat-shaming in the world. As such, the best option, can actually, be learning how to lose weight at home.
I discovered an easy to use 6 months weight loss plan that you can use to lose weight, right in the comfort of your home. In the early stages of your weight loss journey.
3. Encourage them
Make sure you encourage your partner, at this lowest point in their lives. It will do well in lifting up their spirits and morale.
So that they can keep on pushing, in their journey of trying to lose weight.
4. Change the kitchen foods
You can swap out all the junk foods from inside your house. That way, your partner is not tempted to relapse into their previous bad eating habits.
5. Don’t be a menace
At the end of the day, you must realize that nobody cares. When all is said, and done, you will eventually die, and that weight loss goal will be buried with you, six feet in the ground.
So don’t fret too much. Nevertheless, if you can’t stand it, then learn how to lose weight at home, by following our 6 months weight loss program.
15 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You
You ended things with them; and now, they are really acting Strange towards you. It could be signs your ex is pretending to be over you when he/she is not. Some Signs you get after a breakup is not something you want to misinterpret regardless of how bad the breakup was.
Once upon a time, things were good between both of you. Because things came to the point of breakup, doesn’t mean you have both moved on. Just because, you called it quits some time ago; doesn’t mean everything that happened between you two, is forever erased.
One of you may just be faking it. Because you are human and once knew this person, there are signs that will point you in that direction.
He may be texting you or behaving in a weird way. And because he/she is just expressing their feelings; it may be confusing to understand.
Also, depending on the reason for the breakup or situation, you may both still come back together or not.
In this article, let’s let clarify one important fact before looking at the 13 observable signs that your
Can Your Ex Pretend To Move On?
Yes! In actual fact, it may be the reason you are reading this article. You probably do not just understand the person’s actions toward you.
According to Ken Page, who is a therapist and relationship expert, “there are different ways people pretend to be over someone, its either they’re lying to themselves, their ex, or other people in their lives”. “They do that because they want to be resilient and it’s terribly hurtful to go through a breakup.”
He added, that it’s not uncommon to try moving on quickly to a place of being over someone. He also explains that on a general note, we are never truly over someone as much as we claim to be.
According to Psychologist and relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., “pretending to oneself is the most common pretending of all”. She also says “I have worked with people who kid themselves into thinking they are over an ex when they really aren’t,” adding that. “Many people don’t want to do the inner work to really be over an ex and simply pretend to have moved on”.
Based on the work of these amazing persons, we can deduce that in fact, many people do pretend to over their ex a lot of times. And it’s more common than we think; it could have even happened to us in the past unknowingly. And also, your ex may just be pretending to be over you.
We all deal with breakups differently. While some are continually in denial; others just let out all the feelings by crying, eating too much, drinking to stupor, and so on. Thus, your ex may just be pretending to be over you to escape reality.
Now let’s get the signs. Beware; they may not show all these signs. However, if they show at least two of these signs, you are right on track.
Here Are 15 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Move On
1. The Signals From Them Is Not Straightforward
This is a sign your ex is pretending to be over you. Because the signals you are getting from becomes very confusing to understand. They show mixed signals, that you find very hard to interpret.
When you ask how they are, they say they are doing very fine; yet they look otherwise. For the guys, his beard may be unshaved, his clothes rumpled, he may reek of alcohol and still tell you he is doing amazingly well.
Or, He may look very sharp and well shaven but with heavy bags under his eyes. You can literarily see exhaustion written over them yet they maintain they are fine.
2. Their Emotions Towards You Are Extreme
This means that everything they feel towards you is heightened. They usually mask the love they have for you; with extreme emotions, like love, hatred, and sadness.
They may not want you to see through their façade so; they hide it, by exhibiting something entirely different. And because they have not moved on, they will eventually show you these extreme emotions.
3. They’re Drunk Dialing You
There is a very clear indication, that they are not over you yet; and only pretending. Drunk dialing can be very annoying; because they’re not even totally aware of it.
But, because they are thinking about you; the first person that comes to their mind to ring in that state is you. It’s now totally dependent on you; if you want to take the call.
4. They’re Drinking A Lot.
Even if normally, the person drinks, it is intensified after your breakup. And even after time has passed, they’re still drinking.
People drink for various reasons; but in their case, it’s to escape the reality, that you are not in the picture anymore. Because of the hurt and sadness, they will try to drown all these feelings in alcohol. Which is why he will drunk dial you.
5. They Keep Trying To Explain The Breakup.
If all he does, when he calls, is to keep explaining the reasons for the break; then, he is still hooked. He keeps dissecting and explaining why he left.
Even when it doesn’t make sense, he keeps talking about it. This means, he is still in denial and has not fully understood it yet. So he can’t even move on.
6. They Want To Remains Friends
This can be very tricky. It could be their way of trying to get you back; or, their way of escape losing you.
So, they are still there; whenever you call on them and are still friends with you. They may not be ready to lose you totally yet.
So, this way they can still have you around. Usually, when this occurs they still want to be more than friends but are more subtle about it.
7. They Stay In Touch With Your Friends
If they are not pretending to be over you, they have no reason to keep in touch with your friends. Except, it’s for business or something of much importance.
So, if they are still calling and having long talks with your friends then they have not truly cut ties with you. Your ex may be hanging out with your friends with hopes to bump into you.
8. People Around Them Try To Get You To Reconcile
These people are around him and they see his state. Thus, they will naturally try to help him. They try to convince you to check upon him.
They know he is not over you yet, and are probably still devastated by the breakup. So in their own way, they will want to bring you two together again.
If they see you, they’ll urge you to call him to know how he is doing. They may even tell you he misses you.
9. They Are Stalking You On Social Media.
You have broken up; yet, they are the first to like and comment on your picture on social media. It means they are not over you yet and just pretending.
Even if they did it when you two were still together, now it’d be even more serious. He doesn’t just like and comment on your posts but he does that as soon as you post them.
10. They’re Refusing To Date Someone Else
If they are refusing to date someone else; even after so much time has passed, they are have not moved on. The excuse they give is usually unrealistic and vague.
Like how they are taking time to love themselves or how they are working on themselves.
There are two reasons they may be doing this, it’s either they are still healing from the breakup or they hope to still get back together with you.
11. They’re Not Sticking To One Person
They are just hopping from one person to another; and, not staying faithful to one person. Today you see them with Tracy, tomorrow it’s Linda.
Meanwhile, when you two were together, they were committed to you. Something is definitely wrong with them. They are not over you just yet.
12. They Still Maintain Contact Even When It’s Not Necessary
Although, they do not have to be in contact with you; yet, they will still call once in a while to check up on you. The reason is simple, it is because they miss you.
This is a very obvious sign’ your ex is pretending to be over you. He won’t just stay off the radar; he will call and send messages when he feels like.
13. They Show Off Their Accomplishment
They are not over you if they are showing off their improvement in your face. You don’t need to know what they have achieved.
No one actually parades their growth, in front of people they don’t care about. His reasons may be in two ways; either he is trying to get you jealous and regret the break-up or he wants you to see his growth and see that he is improving
They Don’t alter Their Schedule and keep running into you.
If your ex has moved on, they will adjust their schedule to avoid awkward moments when they run into you. Rather they maintain the same schedules you are used to in hopes to run into you. They may come with another girl just to get you jealous or they may genuinely just want to see you.
14. They don’t let you get your things and even leave theirs behind.
Are they still holding on to a shirt of yours even after a lot of time has passed? Did they refuse to come to get some of their things left at your place?
It’s not the things that are that valuable to them; they just holding on to it for sentimental reasons. Because they probably miss you. They may even be waiting for you to come to get it so they can spend time with you. People who hope to get back together after a breakup have not really moved on.
15. They are refusing to publicly acknowledge the breakup
It’s because your ex has not moved on so they are still holding on. They will refuse to admit that you are gone because to them, you will still get together. If someone asks them they will rather say you guys are having a misunderstanding rather than you have broken up. On their social media, they will not change their relationship status. They are obviously struggling to let you go.
In the end, what matters is what you want for yourself. They may be showing any of these signs, good or bad but you still get to choose your next step. Either to take them back or break it off completely. So be sure to make the best decision for yourself since you don’t really know what their motive will be if you allow them back into your life,
ALSO, READ 10 Early Signs Of An Insecure Man
30 Ways To Keep A Girl Happy Even If You Suck
Oftentimes, when it comes to how to keep a girl happy, most of us just think of gifts. Although buying her gifts is an option, it’s not the only trick on the table.
If you two are in some kind of relationship or you are working towards the direction of a commitment, it means she already likes you. Therefore, if she already likes you, your job becomes easier.
Keeping a girl happy is not rocket science; issues only arise if she doesn’t like you. If a girl doesn’t like you, it will be very difficult to keep her happy.
There is this saying that “it’s not what is said but who is saying it.” How we react to something oftentimes depends on who it is coming from. Our perception of issues depends on the source.
You’d agree with me, that how you react when an armed robber tells you to lie down, is different from how you react; when a spouse says the same thing. The same thing was said but different reactions followed it.
So, before attempting to keep a girl happy, be sure that she likes you; or at least, she tolerates you. It is important to keep your girlfriend happy because a happy girlfriend equals an enjoyable relationship.
Not all girls are even receptive to gifts; others see it as petty. So, when attempting to keep a girl happy, it doesn’t have to be overboard.
Even in getting gifts, it doesn’t have to burn a hole in your pocket; it should just be really thoughtful.
Since there are a whole lot of other things you can do to keep a girl we will look at 30 ways in this article.
How To Keep A Girl Happy
1. Always Tell Her That You Love Her.
Men are moved by what they see, women, on the other hand, are moved by what they hear. Girls like to be assured in form of words.
So don’t hold back on telling her you love her. If you want to keep a girl happy, always tell her you love her. That way she feels like her love for you is reciprocated and that you love her very much.
Tell her sweet words, like how lucky you feel having her in your life, how your life will be gloomy without her in it. Tell her you love her before hanging up during a phone conversation; she’d probably blush over it.
You can also say it when she is about to leave for somewhere also randomly when you two are together.
2. Always Give Her Compliments.
I mean who doesn’t like compliments? As a human, when someone compliments us, consciously or not it makes us feel better.
Your girl is no different; so, if you want to keep her happy, compliment her. It could be just randomly in between a conversation, and that could earn you a smile.
A well-timed compliment will always elate anyone’s mood. When it comes to compliments, it will always feel better when it’s from the one you love.
It doesn’t have to be you two are together; it could also be on phone or over a text.
An example is how her eyes pop in blue colored dress, or how cute her personality is or how perfectly set her teeth is, how delicious she smells, and so on.
3. Make Her Laugh Often.
One of the admirable traits in guys that girls are attracted to, is the ability to make them laugh. Ladies are usually attracted to guys who can make them laugh.
You do not have to be a comedian to make this happen. You should know the topics she likes, and make a joke about it.
You do not want to make a joke about a topic, which is sensitive to her; so, you won’t upset her.
It is rather imperial, that you know how to make your girl laugh; if, you want to keep her happy. The amazing thing about this is that a girl who likes you would laugh at your jokes; even if, they are lame. You both know the jokes are lame and dumb but she will still laugh at it.
So, not being a guy should not be your excuse for not trying to make your girl laugh. It’s nothing. A little practice can’t fix it; you just have to be intentional about it.
If you are still finding it hard to crack a joke, you could just recall to her an incident in the past that you found funny. Another option is to try making funny faces.
4. Appreciate Her
If you want her to be happy; then, learn to appreciate her. For even the little things, say a “thank you”; as that shows that, you notice her efforts.
Don’t wait till she does something huge, like donating a kidney to you. It could be just because she is your life. An example is “thanks babe for being in my life”. Show gratitude whenever she does something special for you. It will make her happy and she will keep doing more.
5. Communicate With Her As Often As Possible.
Always talking with your girl will make her happy. Communicating keeps your connection secure; that way, you will be in contact with her.
As far she is not complaining about it, keep the calls and texts coming. It doesn’t have to be planned; it could be random.
Call early in the morning to ask about her night and also tell her you missed her. You can also pick up the phone and text her that you love and miss her. This is a very sweet gesture you should do once in a while to keep a girl happy.
In a relationship, you should call or text at least once daily.
6. Leave Short But Sweet Notes, Poems, Or Letters Around Where She Can See Them.
If you both share a space, this can be very romantic. Hand-written notes with cute and romantic words are classic but super effective in putting a smile on a girl’s face.
It would melt her heart and make her blush. It could be in the kitchen, doorknob, by the bedside, or anywhere at all in the house or office.
It doesn’t have to be wordy; an example is “my day is brighter with you in it.” It could also be a poem that is not too wordy but sweet. This makes her happy even in your absence. Love letters are also useful in this case so you could try that out.
7. Shower Her Cute, Sweet, And Romantic Text Messages
If you want to keep a girl happy contact her as soon as possible and as much as possible. So, long as she doesn’t complain about it.
Sending sweet and cute messages to a girl you like comes naturally even if you are not a poet. Texting the girl you love is just you, putting your feeling in words.
Texting makes it easy for you to say things that you may not be comfortable enough to say on the call. Shower her romantic text messages letting her know she is always on your mind.
It may be a regular message when it is from someone else, but from you, it’s just sweet.
8. Learn What She Wants
To keep a girl happy, you must at least learn what she wants or what she is into. Some gestures may seem sweet and cute to you, but they may throw her off.
When it comes to keeping a girl happy, don’t assume what she wants or likes. Take time to notice what she likes.
Don’t make the mistake of getting her strawberry flavored ice cream; when what she likes is chocolate flavored.
We know you want to keep her happy, but do you know what makes her happy? Solve that issue before going on. Know her preferred and best flavors, her allergies, and generally things she is interested in.
Don’t take on her long walks when she detests walking distances. The best way to actually know what she wants is to get to know her.
Probe within comfortable boundaries into her life, likes, dislikes, hobbies, desired destinations, etc. if you know her likes, you can easily pick one of them and surprise her with it.
9. Spoil And Make Her Feel Special
Every lady deserves to be pampered by her man. If you do this her happiness will always be in check.
Women love to be pampered and spoiled it makes them feel loved. Even the highly independent ones also need to be spoiled silly.
And if she feels your love for her, she will definitely be happy. Pampering can be in form of sweet gifts, attention, compliments, shopping, offering to do her chores, singing to her and so many others.
The list is indeed very long so know what she likes and give her plenty of it. If you have female friends around, make sure she gets the lion share everything coming from you.
When having a group conversation, keep her engaged and sneak in compliments in between. This makes her feel special, unique, and valued.
10. Be A Good Listener To Her.
There is a misconception about listening. Most persons think being a good listener is, not talking when the other person is talking; that is not totally correct.
If you just keep mute when a girl is talking, it can become really annoying. Being a good listener is to not just allow the person to freely express herself, but also know how and what type of input to add to the conversation.
It may sometimes require a nod, or a hmm, or a yes, an okay, and so on. Try not to interrupt the person’s speech or look disinterested.
You must be actively involved in the conversation though you may not be really saying anything. It’s very understandable that you may want to interrupt with an important piece of information. But, keep it till she takes a pause and chip it in.
Girls tend to talk and rant a lot more than boys so just listen to her if you want to keep her happy.
11. Extend The Care To The People Around Her
If you want to keep your girl happy, the people around her must be cool with you. Be sure to buy them over to your side; by building a sort of healthy relationship with them.
These people are important in her life and if she has to always fight for you, with them, she won’t be in the best of moods. Be nice to them and try to sort out any form of conflict.
Her family and close friends should at least be talking terms with you. Work on the ones who don’t really like you by trying to impress them.
There is a kind of peace that comes with knowing that your man and the people around him are on good terms. Thus, your effort alone will make her happy.
Need More? Then, You Should Try Out These Other Very Useful Tips Which Includes
- Get her flowers on special occasions to make her feel special. Or, on least expected moments
- Go on romantic dates as often as possible. Candlelight dinners, cute picnics, etc.
- Go on trips together; preferably, her chosen destination or somewhere you know she wishes to visit. It could even be a surprise or planned.
- Cook for her. Breakfast in bed won’t be such a bad idea yea? Cook her favorite meal for her sometimes to make her happy.
- Respect her. Every human wants to be respected and she is no different. So respect her space, decisions, and others.
- Show her you value her. On several occasions, make it obvious to her what void she is filling in your life and just how important she is to you.
- Be interested in her interests. Be genuinely interested in her interests and this will help you make better decisions in the future concerning her.
- Don’t ever cheat on her. Whether you think she will find out, or not; be loyal to her.
- Share your stuff with her. If she wants your hoodie or sweatpants, let her have it. It’s really sweet and will make her happy.
- Value her point of her in your decision-making process. It shows that you have a level of trust in her intelligence. And girls love to be perceived as intelligent.
- Do PDAs if she is up for it. PDA is public display of affection and some ladies absolutely love it. Holding her hands in public, hugging her outdoors, and other affectionate displays. Hug her from behind and do those long hugs.
- Be quick to say sorry genuinely, when you are wrong. Even if she is wrong, and you know the tension won’t reduce till you say sorry, just say it.
- GIVE HER ATTENTION
- GIVE HER MORE ATTENTION
- GIVE HER THE MOST ATTENTION. This doesn’t mean you should pester her; it means to give her the most attention but respect her boundaries if she wants. Always be within her reach.
- Smother her with kisses. Not just on the lips but everywhere. Her hands, neck, forehead, nose, cheek, and everywhere available.
- I know girls ramble a lot but try to keep up. Remember her words especially the ones concerning her interests.
- Trust her. Trust makes a lot of things easier. If she knows you trust her, she will definitely be happier.
- Don’t neglect celebrations; no matter how little they are. Celebrate little things like getting a promotion at work, beating a target, and a couple of other things. Don’t take the fun away because then your relationship becomes boring.
The list may be overwhelming; but if you truly love your girl and you want to keep her happy, it will become easier to make these things happen. It’s true that love pushes us to do things we normally won’t do.
This is true because you are naturally happier if the person you love is happy. Happiness is very contagious, so in keeping your girl happy, you must also be happy. It’s very hard to give what you do not have. Therefore, be happy to keep her happy.
Love & Dating7 months ago
HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF
Sex Education1 year ago
HOW TO KISS A BOY FOR THE FIRST TIME
Text Messages1 day ago
2021 I AM SORRY MESSAGES FOR YOUR PARTNER
RELATIONSHIP1 year ago
Relationship and Marriage Quotes by Reno Omokri
Love & Dating7 months ago
Obvious signs your partner is cheating with a coworker
Text Messages2 days ago
2021 LOVE CONFESSION TEXT MESSAGES FOR HER OR HIM
RELATIONSHIP1 year ago
The use of positive words around your child
Text Messages1 month ago
BEST ROMANTIC LOVE LETTERS FOR HIM OR HER