It’s really understandable when you don’t know what to do when you start having feelings for your bestie. A lot of besties are in this condition, they feel like they are at a breaking point, some even made good and terrible choices, that they had to leave with for the rest of their lives.
Being secretly in love with your bestie is one of the hardest things to deal with, so let me enlighten you on steps to take when you start having feelings for your bestie.
1. Avoid or get rid of the feelings: the first thing you do when you notice you have a feeling for your friend is TO try and get rid of the feelings. you don’t want to go screaming about your love for your friend just yet, because you don’t know how they feel about you too.
You have to be very smart about this, so you won’t ruin the relationship you both have built for the past months. To avoid your feelings you have to slightly avoid your friend. but do it with care, so he/she will not notice anything being amiss.
- You have been friends with your bestie for a very long time, but for a while now you started noticing these features. How their eyes Spackle when they smile, how cute their tiny snore sounds when they sleep, how childish they look when they sleep, and droll. All these you have been paying attention to, avoid it. Keep away from everything that triggers that feeling, don’t make prolonged eye contact, don’t take in their looks every time.
- Stop focusing on him/her, divert your attention to something else, get some comic book and read, watch some cartoon movie. If you guys always hang out together or you work in the same place, find something else aside from that circle of friendship and do, come up with excuses when he/she wants to hang out with you every day.
- Change the way you think about them. Because you have started having feelings for him/her now you can’t get your head straight, you can’t think of anything else apart from his/her face or how your hickey will look on their neck. Sometimes you even undress them with your thoughts. Don’t make all your thoughts about them, think about your self, your family, or other friends, think about work, school, even coffee, just don’t put all your thoughts on him/her. I know it will be hard for you, but if you try this step and your heart could not take it, try the next step.
2. Understand your feelings and Make sure you truly have a feeling for them: knowing more about your feelings will enable you to understand whether its a true love or a passing phase.
- when you have romantic feelings for someone, The neurotransmitter in our brain that is called dopamine, increases rapidly, causing you to feel happy and all giddy when you think about the person you have feelings for. It will make it that if you truly love your best friend, he/she will preoccupy your daily thoughts.
- You will have a loss of appetite and some times, sleepless nights when you are secretly in love with someone. They will be in your head all day and night making you think and imagine if there will be any possible way you both will ever be together.
- You will feel your heart rate escalate when they are too close to you, to the extent of breaking a tiny sweat.
- if you feel all the above, it’s possible that you truly have feelings for your best friend.
3. Try and find out if your bestie feels the same way about you: There are whole lots of signs that will tell you that your best friend also has feelings for you. You only need to be very observant.
- They are always available whenever you need them, and also finds an excuse to spend some quality time alone with you.
- They tend to get jealous when you hang out with other friends or when you get too close with other friends.
- They feel angered and disappointed when you refer to them as friends, especially to someone who is attracted to you.
- if you have ever noticed any of these signs then that only means your bestie also feels the same way you do, if not, well they don’t.
4. Spill, tell them: After passing all the above steps, then it’s time to tell them exactly how you feel about them. I know it will be difficult, considering you don’t want to ruin your friendship.
- Don’t make a big deal out of it. Find the perfect moment to tell then, stop putting your focus on what if something goes wrong, because something might just go wrong.
- Give yourself some motivational speech to boost your confidence and ask them on a date.
- Don’t go expressing how you have fallen head over the hill in love with your friend. Go for a good phrase that will not make them feel awkward and embarrassed.
- Look them straight in the eye and say “I have come to realize that I have a feeling for you, and I want to be more than a friend” Don’t pressure them for an answer, allow them to digest your confession and get back to you.
5. Be prepared and ready to face the outcome: No doubt your friend will feel strange and be freaked out, even though they harbor the same mutual feeling.
- Your best friend may feel the same way about you, so If that is the case then good luck.
- But If your bestie tells you that he/she is very surprised and doesn’t know what to say, respect that and let them know you are always available whenever they want to talk about it.
- Or they might as well not reciprocate your feelings, because they only see you as a friend, but whatever their decisions are, honor it.
6. Try to move forward, no matter what their reply may be: If your discussion with them didn’t go as you initially planned, then it’s time to move on. You now have to decide whether to move forward or still be friends.
- Moving on from rejection, especially from your best friend is quite painful but you still have to accept the pain and not deceive yourself into believing you are not allowed to feel those emotions. Give yourself time to heal.
- There is a possibility that during all this time of crushing on your best friend, you forgot about your other friends, go back to your friends, so as to give you time away from him or her.
- Distance your self from them so that you will not get so jealous when they try to pursue love with another person. Go on ordinary dates, it may help.
- But If your best friend reciprocated your feelings, that is a very good thing because being in love with each other while being best friends at the same time is the best kind of relationship ever, so congratulations.
Dating is different from friendship, when you date your bestie thinking you know all about their story, that is when you will know that there are a whole lot of things you don’t know about them. Good luck.
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