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Healthy Personal Boundaries And How You Can Develop Them



Healthy Personal Boundaries And How You Can Develop Them

Last Updated on March 8, 2022 by Joshua Isibor

In healthy relationships and mental health, to set healthy boundaries or personal boundaries means caring for yourself. A healthy boundary or rigid boundaries in your personal life refers to limits and rules a person sets for themselves when in relationships. It may involve saying “no” to others while still opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.

If you want to further learn how you can better establish these personal boundaries, you may seek help from online platforms like Fearless Living. They’re more than glad to teach you why personal boundaries are important. They can also impart knowledge on developing these in your lives. Read on to this discussion to know more about these personal boundaries and how you can better establish them.

What Are Personal Boundaries In Personal Relationships?

To maintain a positive self-concept or self-image, setting healthy personal boundaries is a must. This is your way of letting others know that you have self-respect and self-worth, and that you won’t allow other people to define you.

In other words, personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits a person establishes to protect themselves from being used, manipulated or violated by others. They separate your principles from the thoughts and feelings of others. With these, you express yourself as the unique individual that you are, while acknowledging the same in others.

Without personal boundaries, it might be difficult to enjoy healthy relationships. A person must recognize that each is a unique individual with unique emotions, needs, and preferences. This is equally true for your children, spouses, and friends.

Setting personal boundaries means preserving your integrity, taking responsibility for who you are, and taking control of your life.

Your Own Boundaries: Discover The Five Types Of Personal Boundaries

Life can spur your personal boundaries into action, and psychologists categorize these personal boundaries into five groups, namely, physical, emotional, sexual, material, and time boundaries. Let’s learn each of them a little bit better.

1. Physical Boundaries

These boundaries are the most basic among the rest. It involves your openness to engage with physical contact, whether it’s about someone sitting next to you or being with friends, for example. Remember, the earlier you set this boundary, the better. Be confident to say you’re not into hugging, for example, when greeting other people, and whether you instead prefer a handshake.

2. Emotional Boundaries

On the other hand, these boundaries are the limits you’ll set when sharing intimate feelings with other people. It also involves the emotional energy and labor you put in relationships. For example, this is about saying no to discussing things with another person.

3. Sexual Boundaries

This third type involves your comfort and consent with any sexual contact. This also applies to relationships with long-term monogamous partners.

4. Time Boundaries

These boundaries involve how you want to spend time and the amount of time you’ll allocate with other people. Saying you can’t attend a birthday party, for example, is an effective way to set time boundaries.

5. Material Boundaries

The last type of boundary in this school of thought involves material things. These boundaries involve setting limits on what you’ll share and with whom. For example, this may entail deciding not to lend your car to someone in your family for fear they might not respect this property of yours. Depending on the relationship, you can also determine why you decide not to.

How Can You Establish Healthy Personal Boundaries?

Now that you’ve learned the various kinds of personal boundaries, let’s take a look at the ways you can establish these in your life.

1. Know You Have A Right To Personal Boundaries

You don’t only have this right, but you should also take responsibility for how you let others treat you. These boundaries act as filters permitting what’s acceptable in your life and what’s not. Without such boundaries or a strong sense of identity, you limit yourself from showcasing your self-worth with others.

To avoid this, set decisive and vivid limits so others will recognize them, and be willing to exert the effort to do whatever it takes to implement them. Also, it’s interesting to note that people with weak boundaries tend to violate the boundaries set by others.

2. Identify Actions And Behaviors You Find Unacceptable

Let others know when they’ve already acted improperly, crossed the line, or disrespected you in any way. Be brave to tell others when you need emotional and physical spaces. Be who you are without pressures from others telling you how you must act.

Plus, know the actions you may need to take if your boundaries aren’t respected.

3. Trust And Believe In Yourself

Lastly, trust and believe in yourself. If there’s a person who knows you best, it’s you. Don’t let others decide for you.

These healthy boundaries will make it possible for you to respect your abilities, individuality, and strengths, as well as those of others.

An unhealthy imbalance happens when you are needy, want to be rescued or rescue others, or when you choose to play the victim. With this being said, let’s take a look at the signs of unhealthy boundaries.

What Are The Signs Of Unhealthy Boundaries?

There are healthy boundaries, and then, there are unhealthy boundaries. The signs of unhealthy boundaries include:

  • Going against your rights and values only to please others
  • Giving as much as you can only for the sake of giving
  • Talking as much for the sake of talking
  • Allowing others to define you
  • Expecting others to provide what you need automatically
  • Feeling bad or guilty when you decide to say no
  • Not speaking up when you’re treated poorly
  • Falling apart, so other people take care of you
  • Falling in love with a person you barely know or who reaches out to you
  • Accepting advances such as touching and sex that you don’t want
  • Touching a person without asking them

What Happens When You Possess Healthy Personal Boundaries

As much as you can in your own life or your own life, you have to steer away from poor boundaries, but rather you should find yourself setting boundaries toward a healthy relationship. Know that when you set personal boundaries, this doesn’t mean you’ll hurt someone’s feelings or be in unhealthy relationships. Setting personal boundaries is also a way to combat low self esteem, and set high self esteem upon yourself.

What happens when you have healthy personal boundaries? Well, you’ll have a healthy self-concept and improved self-confidence, you’re more in touch with reality, you can communicate better with others, you’ll have more fulfilling relationships, and you’ll have more control over your lives. It’s never too late to develop healthy personal boundaries. We wish you all the best.


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