BONDING WITH YOUR PARTNER.
We’ll be talking on HOW TO BOND WITH YOUR PARTNER- Bonding is an act of being connected with your partner for the purpose of intimacy, understanding, and creating a long-lasting relationship. Bonding is the connection of the soul and spirit of both parties to become one resulting in agreeing in love rather than disagreeing leading to quarrel or enmity.
Some likely questions asked regarding bonding include:
1) How to bond in a new relationship?
2) How to rekindle a dying relationship?
3) How to maintain a distance relationship?
The need to understand that friendship is the bedrock of enhancing bonding between partners is Paramount. Reasons because it creates an atmosphere where both parties show concern for each other, care of each other, confide in each other, and share thoughts, feelings, experiences, and naturally flows without being coerced.
Another thing is being realistic than being idealistic. A lot of persons have an already programmed mind about their expectations in relationship forgetting about the reality of things.
As a result, they fail to get their expectations and they feel left out. For bonding to be created between two persons in a relationship, it requires the effort of both parties. Bonding takes to process and time.
14 Ways to bond include:
1) Understanding: The beginning of a relationship should be centered around knowing your partner to the point you too can understand each other. You know when your partner is happy, sad, tired, active, likes, and dislikes. Once this is established especially for a new or young relationship, things will work out well. When both are ready to exude an understanding heart bonding is fostered.
2) Communication: It’s an act of interaction between two people and getting feedback in return. Communication is not effective without feedbacks. It’s about being open to conversation, ready to relate anything, what matters to you, what bothers you, what should keep the relationship going.
The ability to express your thoughts and feelings makes communication effective and bonding possible rather than hiding things from your partner.
Communication is as simple as sending letters, text messages, making video calls via WhatsApp, Skyping, sending voice notes, or making a voice call. For distant relationships you must always be in touch, send videos of you doing some interesting activities, or sending of your pictures this will enable your partner ever conscious of you.
3)Shared activities: Doing things together like cooking, washing of clothes, etc. can as well foster bonding.
4)Creating memories: Memories creates a lasting impact in people’s minds. This includes dancing together, playing games, involving in a competition, chicken fight, strolling, swimming, singing, and it should be recorded so you can always watch it when you’re distant apart.
5) Take interest in what interests your partner: Everyone of us has interests in one thing or the other. It becomes easy to relate when both parties have the same line of interest. However, if the interests differ then the need to learn or have a basic knowledge of it is essential, pay attention to it and help him or her achieves it at all times.
When you get involve in what interest your partner for instance singing, you will always create time for her, you will assist her, also get the right resources that will make her achieve her passion for singing also when you don’t feel like singing or can’t sing you just sing to make her know you’re interested in her interest.
Your guy may be interested in football not to feel left out when he is gone to watch football You can decide to watch it with him, understand how it’s played, discuss it with him, buy him his team sportswear, etc.
This will make him know you’re interested in his interest. Also showing interest in your spouse’s interest brings about bonding because your presence will be there when needed. There you can engage in some act of touching, releasing some words of affirmation, etc.
6) Understanding love languages: Everyone has a unique love language. No two spouse has the same love language. Understanding your spouse’s love language will aid you in relating to each other peacefully and create bonding. There are five love languages which are.
- a) Physical touch: This includes cuddling, hugging, kissing. Research has shown that touch serves as a way of making one feel relaxed and calms the nerve. Touching creates connection and intimacy.
- b) Gifts: Gifts bought will be well appreciated if it’s your partner’s love language. This can bring about bonding cause it will create memories and stirs up love and makes your partner wants to connect with you. Because you know how to please or make your partner happy.
- c) Time: Time and attention have proven to be one key factor in building bonding in relationships both for new, dying, or distant relationships. The more time spent with each other the more connected they become. Imagine you always make out time to see, call your partner whose love language is attention. You’re always there to talk, listen, share things, and experience. You just have to create time to be there. Your partner will feel valued and value you when you can make sacrifices
- d) Act of service: This is when you do little things like assisting when you sensed your help is needed or when he is washing his cloth, you help him fetch water or help rinse it when she is cooking you help slice onion. For a partner whose love language is an act of service doing little things as such will make them feel loved and your presence will be craved for.
- e) Words of affirmation: Positive words helps to improve one’s self-esteem and confidence level. Self-confidence brings about happiness. Having a partner whose love language is words of affirmation, your constant reminder of I love, you’re beautiful, you’re amazing, you’re my dearest, etc will make your partner happy and always value your presence. Connecting will be as easy as anything because you know how to please your partner.
7) Being creative: Creativity is needed especially for a relationship that is dying as a result of applying the same method of relating to each other over a long time. Being creative will bring about spicing up your relationship so it won’t grow cold and die off.
You can be creative by creating your own cards, love letters, activities, try something new different from the norm you’ve been experiencing in your relationship. Variety is the spice of life. It removes all forms of boredom. No one likes a boring partner. Maybe you have to do a cooking competition, a dancing competition, etc
8) Supportive to each other: No one is a highland of his own. We need each other to survive and achieve goals. Therefore your partner needs your support to achieve his/ her dreams. It would be wonderful seeing how supportive you’re to ensuring that goal is achieved. Getting involved will bring and foster a connection between both of you.
9) Respect each other’s differences: The uniqueness of an individual can’t be overestimated. No two people can desire, act, or think alike. Understanding this will enable you to value your partner and respect his/her differences. The more you exhibit such an understanding, the more you get connected. Because a friendly environment fosters bonding but the reverse is the case when such understanding is not shown.
10) Reaccess the relationship and check for lapses: Most times we feel the relationship is going fine may be due to our partner not complaining but the truth is the connection isn’t there as a result of a non- challans attitude. It’s best when you access your relationship if possible monthly to know if there is any lapses and if the bonding is still there. Constant re-accessing of relationships will always put you in check and know when things aren’t working fine. So before any form of coldness or distance sets in you already know and prefer some measures to ensure the bond is there.
11) Honesty: Being truthful is essential in every relationship. What kills trust is not being honest. Lies have a way of disconnecting people talk more of two in a relationship. Hiding things from your partner and not telling the truth is one fastest way to disconnect two people in a relationship.
12) Celebrating special days: How wonderful it is and how joyous your partner will be when at all times you bring in surprises or you take out time to celebrate their special days like birthdays, even as far as Valentine’s day, marriage anniversary, etc. This creates memories in their minds. Imagine when you take out time to travel to see your partner just to celebrate his/ her birthday or graduation ceremony etc. especially when it’s a distant relationship, the bond becomes stronger and relationship valued.
13) Have a futuristic plan achieving together: No man has no future or goal. A man values you when you can work with him to set up a plan for the future and work toward achieving it. The way to know that both partners are bonded is when both plan for the future together and work towards achieving it.
14) Fellowship together: The power of fellowship is beyond human comprehension. Two can only walk together when there is agreement. And one way to show the agreement is through fellowship. (prayers). A partner that prays together, stays together, and bonds faster. This is when bonding in the spirit becomes a reality. They become one agreeing to pull down things and to build up things.
No relationship thrives with just one person the two must be involved to make work. Both parties must see each other as a team. Team no sleep until the goal of bonding is achieved.
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