How to control your sexual urges ( BEST TECHNIQUES)
This is one topic of discussion we normally skip talking about. A lot of persons preach abstinence from sexual activities as a single but almost no one teaches how to control sexual urges which is the main cause of sexual sins. Whether as single or married, a high sex drive can be difficult to deal with. Especially when it is abnormal.
Sexual urges are normal with humans but become abnormal when it is excessive. An excessive sex drive is one that is too frequent and distracts you from productive activities.
For most men, wild sexual urges are their everyday nightmare. Even young boys. Not that women don’t have sexual urges, but women aren’t wired to be sexually sensitive like the man.
Some men get aroused at the mere sight of a fully clothed woman. At any slight provocation, they begin to have erections. I have met a young man whose sexual urge is like hunger pangs. At every hour of the day, except when he is on cigarettes, he is desirous to have sex, and somehow he can’t seem to control himself.
It is as though a force stronger than him is motivating him to have sex all the time. There is always this strong urge pushing him to grab a lady and strip her pants down. Several times, I have seen him beg unknown ladies for sex and get himself embarrassed in the end. You could imagine such a situation, how terrible!
Yet, no matter how many times he gets embarrassed or disgraced, he still continues in the practice. Wild sexual urges is a nightmare you won’t wish anyone.
It is an extreme that traps only a few people. On average, you could find one out of ten people struggling with wild sexual desires, mostly guys. It is very possible to get to that end if you don’t begin to fight for control now.
Excessive sexual desires have destroyed a lot of relationships and separated a number of partners. If you don’t deal with it, it can come in between you and your partner especially when they find it unbearable.
An exceptional case is persistent genital arousal disorder(PGAD)
It happens without any stimulation and can last for hours, days, or weeks.
PGAD is mostly found in women. Only a few cases have been found in men. In men, it is called Priapism.
Most people use masturbation to relieve themselves, but that brings a short-term relief after which the numbness returns and in some cases, it could increase the symptoms or cause it to last longer.
Masturbation is definitely not a perfect solution to deal with a sexual urge. It is no solution at all.
There are a few treatment options that are open to you, numbing gels, electroconvulsive therapy (used in cases where mental disorders like bipolar are concerned.
PGAD has been linked with depression, so taking anti-depressants could also help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps you control your negative emotions and symptoms that can exacerbate the symptoms.
There are main symptoms of PGAD that include.
• Face and neck becoming red or flushed.
• Abnormal heart rate.
• Shallow rapid breathing.
• Pain in the genital area.
• It usually accompanies cases of mental health issues.
See a doctor to verify.
However, You don’t have to wait for any of these symptoms or for your urges to get wild before you begin to fight for ways to gain control over your sexual urges.
As an individual, you ought to be in control of yourself, your emotions, and your feelings.
There is one rule to being in control, DISCIPLINE.
To be in control over your lifestyle, you have to be disciplined. Nobody has the ability to wield control other than you.
Wielding control can prove to be very difficult but not when you
lower your sex drive
Below is a list of practical tips to help you gain control over your sexual desires and reduce excessive libido
1. Talk about it:
This is a therapeutic tip that helps both couples and singles. Although, sex is not what most people are comfortable talking about. It is a very private and personal topic we mostly seek to avoid. Communication is actually very therapeutic as it breeds understanding which is necessary for overcoming any overwhelming issue.
There are two types of sex therapy.
a. Couples sex therapy: 80% of couples worldwide experience sex drive mismatch. Sex drive mismatch is a case where one partner has a higher drive. this evenness doesn’t in any way spell doom in your relationship. You could cope with it by going for sex therapy with your spouse, where you both will communicate and become in sync with each other.
The main objective is to investigate and study your sex lives, to discover what you both want from sex.
You and your partner can work on building your sexual connection and developing intimacy. Hence, you are shifting the focus from sex to intimacy which is a stronger need in building a solid relationship.
You also need to be sure that the excessive sex drive is not as a result of PGAD. This is why therapy is important if the therapist feels that there are symptoms of it. he/ she would direct you to take a test.
And suggest medications. Do not feel you can handle it alone. Seeing a therapist is very important.
b. Individual sex therapy:
sex therapies also work for individuals with a strange and rare sex drive and have probably developed negative habits to deal with sexual urges.
It has been discovered that an excessive drive can be as a result of depression. It is one common result of not being happy with oneself or feeling out of control.
If you have any such symptoms, you need to speak with someone, preferably a friend or a therapist, or a psychosexual therapist in particular. There are treatments you can take to reduce your sex drives.
2. Distract yourself:
we have talked about how to handle high sex drives. To reduce or control sexual drives, you have to distract yourself from the feeling. Sexual drives can be strong and be very distracting, sometimes they threaten to be overpowering but you just to be in control. One control mechanism is engaging in activities you derive pleasure in, it could be watching movies, playing games, an exercise, or any engaging activity. Make sure your distraction is engaging and would require you to be active. You don’t want your mind to be lazy about and paying attention to the feelings surging through your body. So, find a solid distraction and focus on it, then you’ll get over such sexual desires.
3. Remove yourself from the triggering situation:
Identify the triggers and avoid them. There are environments, situations, activities, positions, and talks that could bring about sexual urges. Try as much as possible to avoid them and don’t hesitate to walk away from them if you accidentally find yourself there.
4. Get out of your current environment:
taking a physical walk out wherever you are when the urge comes upon you and try to release some energy by taking a walk if you can. You’d notice that most tips I have given are centered on energy and gaining control of yourself. This is because sexual urges can be exhaustive but when you exhaust yourself by doing something productive or energy-intensive, the possibility of the urges coming is lesser because your body is tired and cannot respond. This is not me saying that you should go ahead and get yourself exhausted every day so you won’t be bothered by sexual urges. Taking a walk enables you to release energy and possibly distract yourself.
5. Watch what you feed on and the people you mingle with:
your lifestyle could also be a spurn for sexual urges. When you interact with sexual materials and engage in sex discussions throughout your day, you should expect a bumper of sexual urges at night. Avoid sex materials and conversations that are focused on sex.
6. Find effective methods to control your thoughts:
engage your mind at all times. they say the idle mind is…. You can fill it in yourself. So, find a grip over your mind. Sexual urges begin from the mind before you start feeling the sensations in your body. Certain individuals feel that it is impossible to control the mind; that man is subject and a slave to his mind.
if you a subscriber to that school of thought, you need to unsubscribe today. because the fact is, you have control over your mind. Yes, you can control what sits in your head, for how long, and the impact it’ll have on your body. Nothing can gain dominance if you don’t make it comfortable. Before I go on talking, there are basic ways to control your thoughts. You need to locate the door of your head and put a steady lock there.
One method that works for me is talking to myself and using imagination to realign my mind to what I want to focus on.
7. Minimize stress:
The times I ever felt sexual urges in my life were times when I was mentally or physically drained. Flee from stress! getting busy and productive doesn’t involve burying yourselves with activities until you are not just physically stressed but also mentally drained. At that time, strange chemicals are released in your body that could make you begin to desire sex. Live a mentally healthy life, it is when you are down and emotionally stressed that your body begins to desire sex.
8. Engage in newfound hobbies and leave no break time:
if you’re anything like me, you should be able to create and adjust to new hobbies easily. The new hobby thing is to get you excited and motivated at all times.
I believe that this article has given you some helpful tips on how to control your sexual urges and overcome high sex drives. A very powerful tip you should consider nonetheless is; prayer.
You can consider building an intimate relationship with God through prayer and communicate with him your issue. The truth is, he knows you need control over your sexual urges but he wants you to ask and he will respond.
The closer to God you become (not the more you go to church… they are two different things) the more control you gain over your sexual urges and otherwise.
It is possible to be sexually pure. You can be chaste physically and mentally.
ALSO, READ How Pornography Can Destroy Your Marriage