hideous disadvantage and consequence of pornography to your marriage.
So many persons are afraid of facing this question: The fear of heeding to the truth is only a sign of mediocrity. Not many people are aware of the ways pornography can destroy their marriage. In actual fact, you will be shocked that a large percentage of persons see nothing wrong with pornography. To them, it is just a form of entertainment and relaxation with no possible consequence.
If you are married, you need to be informed on how pornography can destroy your marriage. In this article, I intend to bring to you the hideous disadvantage and consequence of pornography to your marriage.
This topic is one that is almost forbidden to talk about, no one just casually talks about pornography. Although it is something so many people have been involved in and are presently addicted to, no one sits down and talks about it like one would a season movie.
Porn is like the unpopular F word. It doesn’t just naturally come up in our conversation. This says a lot about the negativity of the word/ context.
Pornography is a sexual addiction that takes many a long while to break. It is one of the easiest addiction to pick up, very easy!! There are pornographic adverts everywhere online, it is simply a click away. Gone are the days when we go to the vendor and carefully select such videotapes. Today, they are very much present in our phones, all you need is to tap a button and there you go.
A lot of young people, millions of youths view pornography on a daily basis. Majorly, men; men view porn more than women, owing to the fact that they have stronger sexual urges. In fact, some persons have come to the notion that it isn’t bad in itself and is a good thing for young persons, especially when you are single and there is no available girl at the moment. It seems okay to just ease the urges through pornography. This seems like an explanation to why men are more into this, if pornography could help ease their crazy urges then it isn’t bad, right?
Well, we’re not focused on answering whether pornography is right or wrong. Rather, the topic of this discussion is to point out how pornography can destroy your marriage.
That thing that seems legalistic when you are single, has a whole different implication when you get married. The effects of porn on marriage are more outrageous than anyone would think.
A top researcher named Patrick Fagan, Ph.D. did a broad study on pornography and in the end, called it the ‘quiet family killer.’
56% of divorces had one partner in porn, which is also saying that 56% of destroyed marriages were caused by pornography.
How does that fact sit with you? Do you still doubt how pornography can affect your marriage? Well, we can be sure that most of that percentage was made up of men. Not that women don’t get trapped into porn, it is easier for a woman to break out of it than for a man. Many men struggle with this addiction for many years.
In my study, I am not just interested in how pornography can affect your marriage or the effect of porn on your marriage. I would want to first and foremost introduce us to myths about pornography; the trap that gets people stuck in the very first place.
Myths About Pornography And Its Effect Of Pornography On A Married Couple.
1. Enhance sex lives:
it is believed that by watching others perform the act, you could learn some sex positions, tips, or styles that would help you satisfy your spouse the more, hence you end up enhancing and building your sex lives by the singular act.
Some persons even suggest the couples watch it together, it helps the enhancement occur stronger. It exposes you and carries you on an adventure into the world of sex, where you can be exposed to so many options for your exploration.
2. Help you relax: another group, not so distinct from the first, is the belief that porn is a great relaxation technique. It helps ease out the day’s stress just like swimming would. So, it stands as a relaxation alternative.
3. Ease sexual urge: some persons are of the view that if you can’t have sex with your spouse all the time, probably because they are not available, they went on a journey, are physically or emotionally sick, pornography is the way to ease your sexual urge
4. Helps put adultery in check: some women feel it is better than their spouse sits before a computer screen watching a naked lady or a naked couple than actually being involved with one. They even agree with it as they enter the marriage. It is like another marriage code; no adultery but yeah you can watch all the porn you want.
Seven Ways Pornography Can Destroy Your Marriage
You’d notice I didn’t judge or argue any of the myths. Myths are not true, they are like made-up reasons or believes why people should do something, that has been generally accepted. There is no point in debating them. However, I bring you seven confirmed ways porn can destroy your marriage if you let it through the door of any of the above-mentioned myths.
1. Nullifies true passion:
Great marital sex involves true intimacy, technique, stamina, and experience. Your mind is filled with passion and desire. Porn eliminates this subtly; it doesn’t just disappear immediately. By watching porn, your desire and passion start to burn slowly. No matter the urge that pushed you to initiate the process, you end up discovering that you don’t want to continue any longer.
You are not feeling the excitement in you, it is just an activity that is consuming your energy and time. Many couples struggle together in this period, they try to make it work but the mind is sick and overfed with images and clips that hinder great marital sex. Because unknowingly, you are trying to replay what you have watched, it is very exhausting and leaves little or no space for actual passion. Some couples don’t even feel anything when their partner touches them any longer. Porn is that destructive!
2. It can kill your sex life:
The next thing that happens after the loss of sexual passion is the death of your sex life. This is a continuation of the first result. If your marriage is not rescued at the stage where passion is lacking, it is only a matter of time before your sexual life is totally dead and inexistent. I concluded the first point by stating that feelings and arousals start to get missing. There are no more butterflies in your stomach or goosebumps when your partner initiates romance. This is because you have filled your head with images of what true sexual pleasure is about and when it is not exactly playing in synchronization with the image in your head, the first comment is you are not interested. Pornography leads to less sex and it is only a matter of time before it replaces the act fully.
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3. Ridiculous expectations:
One thing many people don’t think about is the fakeness of porn. It is only entertainment performed by actors and is never real. No matter how real it appears, there is a script that is being acted out and everything is being controlled by a director.
A script that ends up playing on your screen. From the adventure and exposure, you have had, you have an idea of what great sex should be like and how your partner should act in order to satisfy you. From here, ridiculous expectations begin to build. You only allowing the script director to control your sexual life.
4. The loss of trust and intimacy
Once passion is dead, there is not intimacy left. With time, you discover that you don’t trust your partner anymore. For women who are being sincere, watching your husband engage in porn is equals to cheating. It is a number one call of unfaithfulness. And sexual unfaithfulness destroys marriage quickly.
It first erodes every form of trust in the relationship and any relationship without trust is just chaff.
5. Fosters negative self-image:
A young woman once shared her story to confirm how porn can destroy marriages. She narrated that in the very beginning she used to watch porn as a single lady and when she got married, it became one of her favorite TV series with her husband. So, they both watched it together but eventually, all of the above negatives that we have mentioned started to show up and she lost interest in porn. (Remember I said it is easier for women to break out) however, her husband was still a huge addict already and continued watching it. after some time, she started to feel he loved the pornstars more than her, or she wasn’t good enough.
She started to dress like those porn stars whenever they wanted to have sex. Try to master all the moves and replay them. asides the fact that she never enjoyed sex any longer, she also began to feel that she wasn’t enough and will never be. One very discouraging thing was the fact that her husband would still go on to watch it after they have had sex.
Porn can destroy your self-image and that of your partner.
6. Creates shame and emptiness
Imagine the best sex with your wife and the euphoria that accompanied it. you will discover that it is totally different from the feelings you have when watching porn. That is because it is fake and just gives you a strange form of sexual excitement, eventually leaving you empty. Porn also breeds shame, serious shame. Especially after you commit after-acts like masturbation. You feel dirty, drained, and ashamed. But because it is only it is an addiction, you surely get back to it once you are over the feeling.
7. Progressively worse and unsatisfying
Just like every addiction, you’re always in search for a more intensified version of your addictions. The more addicted you get, the more you get deeper into pornography, your desires increase. You always want something more and even when it seems like you have gotten it, you still don’t get satisfied.
As a porn addict, you can never reach satisfaction. You are just fanning an inflammable fire of consistent lust that will require great efforts to put out.
I am very sure beyond a reasonable doubt that you have been educated today on how porn can destroy your marriage and why you should stop watching porn as a couple or married person. If you are single, you should also do away with it. it will give you a fake expectation of sex that doesn’t exist. Why would you want to consume something that can hurt the people you love or your ability to love? Before it robs you of a great marital experience, quit porn now!
Porn is energy-draining and it takes time to recover from. The earlier you quit, the better.
If you need help, do not hesitate to see a trusted clergy or a marriage counselor. There a lot of them willing to help you. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.
I wish you luck.