Have you’ve done something creative and told a friend or a family member about it, then got a heartbreaking response? It’s really painful after spending so many hours creating good content or a blog post for people to read, or you advertised your business and at the end of the day, you end up getting a few likes or comments.
Also, when you’re celebrating your birthday or getting married you get lots of likes comments but when you need their support you end up getting ignored.
There are so many persons in the world today, that when you tell you the numbers of rich persons who have promised and failed them, you’d be amazed. So many persons would have been at the top if they’ve had support either from their friends or from a family member. We live in a world where people don’t give a f**k about anyone else except themselves, so we just have learn how to deal with life in that manner.
in this article, you’d get some of the reasons why you are not getting any help for family and friends. Getting help these days is not really easy.
6 reasons why family and friends don’t support you
1.Ideology: firstly, there are friends or family members that just like you as a person but don’t like your ideas. When it comes to helping out, they won’t want to waste your time. That’s their ideology they have this ideology of not supporting people. They always have limitations in making friendships with people. When it comes to support, they won’t be there.
- Payback: There is a popular quote that says “whatever you sow you reap”.
The reason why so many persons are not getting help today is that they are reaping what they sowed in the past, meaning that they failed to support the hustle of others. The support may be in form of cash, kind, sharing posts on social media, or your time. When we live our life unconsciously without knowing that what we do today can affect how people will help us in the future, then we will get such paybacks. So when you don’t support their hustle, why should they support your hustle??
3.Inability: When they don’t help or support you, never conclude that’s this is actually the reasons why they don’t want to help you. a friend or a family member might be so interested in your future but don’t have the means to help you.
It’s really painful when you give your uncle a business proposal and at the end of the day, he’d tell you that, “Hey son, I’m so broke! I don’t think I can help you”. In your mind, you might start calling him a wicked man, but deep down he wants to help. He might have lots of properties and fleets of cars that may make you not want to believe. Not having the means might be a reason why family and friends don’t support you.
4.Fear: People are afraid to help these days because they’ve had so many negative outcomes of helping people. Fear may vary.
Firstly, they may be afraid to support to because they don’t know whether you’ll fail so that they will not regret ever telling or be ashamed so you so that you won’t blame them later in the future.. for example, you helped someone and the thing turned out to be disastrous, you might not want to help anyone in that aspect again. Getting blame from people can bring shame to you.
Secondly, they may be afraid to help you because they feel that you will forget them. People forget the good that people do easily. So they don’t want to risk their time and effort supporting you. also, people may have unknown fear that may arise in the future.
5.Jealousy: jealousy is actually one of the major reason why people don’t help you, some will say—‘ how will I help him when I know that he’d become lords over us??”. Some may not want to help you because you’ll become higher than them in the future.. Even if you get a chance to work with them at their office they may do every means to bring you down in order to remain higher than you. I Interview a friend several years ago and we were talking about why People get help easily from an outsider and family don’t help despite having all the means and he said.. “Outsider sees Potentials but family sees competition”. This means that when your family or friends starts helping you, they will see you as their running mate or seeing you rather as a competitor. Some families may rather die than see themselves helping you.
6. They don’t believe in you or what you’re doing
In this life, it’s not everything you want to do that your family will gladly accept. There are some, no matter what you do, they’ll keep having doubts about you. it’s not that they hate you but they don’t just believe you in any way.
How to Strengthen family bonds when you’re staying at home
By keeping families at home, the Coronavirus did something special to families that have been distant. It provided them with time enough to strengthen their bond. (Well, for those who see it that way.)
I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, but I know what the feeling is to have strong family bonds. It’s one that intoxicates —I experienced it! Yes, I did. Due to the pandemic’s hit, a lot of activities became remote, even working. And it took me home, where I learnt the tips I’m about sharing.
Home should be where your family is; the house, where they are contained, and your heart, the foundation on which love thrives. You make your family stronger through bonds: father-daughter bond, the mother-to-son bond, couples bond, and all other ones your thoughts are coming up with. But, how do you do this?
Known factors that promote bond strengthening aren’t far from reach but are mostly overlooked. Read on, and I’ll reveal some subtle ways to strengthen family bond when you’re staying at home. If well implemented, it would add core to the bond in your family, even when you do not stay at home all of the time.
My definition of a home might seem absurd, but it’s quite relatable: It’s a place where your heart is and finds peace. One very big challenge faced in building bonds (with your family or anyone at all) is the issue of placing your heart where it should be..
“My family is my life, and everything else comes second as far as what’s important to me.” — Michael Imperioli
Once this wall of priority has been built, it becomes very much easier to carry out all that you’ll knead or knit for yourself from this piece.
1. RELISH THE TIME.
Never wish you spent a little more time at work. More importantly, never wish you spent a little more time with your family. Okay, pause. What this means is to give more time to your family, and to ensure their happiness while you can. Nothing can be substituted with this.
2. LOOSEN UP
If really you’re working towards strengthening bonds, then you have to know and understand every member of your family better. This is a cheat-fix for you: you do not have to be rigid in your approach all of the time; let there be an atmosphere of camaraderie around you. Loosen up sometimes.
Inasmuch as you want to build a family where respect is upheld, you should understand that respect is not demanded; it is earned. Respect and Trust actually. In other words, the more you are free with every member; the more you gain their trust; the more their real self is portrayed and understood. This understanding, amongst every member, is what gives strength to individual and collective bonds.
3. GET CREATIVE
Spice is what every member of the family brings to the table, so don’t forget to add yours. Get creative!
– Tell stories. Stories that the family relates with tend to build core and trust. If you met “Tales by Moonlight,” you can tell “Tales by Torchlight” from the comfort of your home. The general idea is to teach morals by way of telling stories.
– Give Gifts. Who doesn’t like the sound of that? No one outgrows being delighted with a gift. Or have you? On your next outing, you should try this. Get something out of the usual. Even if it’s a pack of cupcakes for the family.
4. DO THINGS TOGETHER.
The little things you do today accumulate to form every bit of memory you have of and for yourselves. Be sure to take advantage of the moment. There are countless things you can do together as a family, and you do not want them to slide by.
Below, I’ve put together some of the myriads that there are (you can always add to the list in the comment section):
– Eat (out) together.
– Play together. (Not all lessons are learned from being stone-faced. More on this below)
– Pray together. A family that prays together, stays together. Well, most families.
– See movies together.
– Cook, and create new recipes.
– Jog and walks
5. GET DISCUSSING
Give room for every member to voice out without being shunned. You want to create an impression that you are a good listener and not just a dictator. If possible, create time to meet with every member separately to ask about their wellbeing, and spend time knowing how their day went.
Discuss. At the table, about issues. Let everyone speak their mind, and give room for corrections. This fosters the feeling that everyone has an opinion in the family building. And when correcting, do so in love. When you talk about the challenges and discuss the possible solutions, then you can come up with family goals that will address those problems.
6. BE ATTENTIVE
Laying aside the hypothetical bias that boys are drawn to their mothers and girls, to their fathers. The real magnet is the care and attention given by one side and received by the other. Everybody likes attention. The same way you like being heard is the same way your family craves it, and how you give it should not come with any bias – it will be noticed.
Pay attention to details, from the smallest to the biggest. Like the fact that your child doesn’t like being called by a particular pet name, or your spouse enjoys the eat-outs on Sunday evenings. These tiny things will guarantee you an understanding of your family. Trust me!
7. STAY IN TOUCH
Relationships are built on communication, effective communication. This must exist between you and your spouse, as well as other members of the family –even the baby in the womb. Never underestimate the power of physical touch in communication. Even the unborn child appreciates this (when it kicks, and the stomach is caressed), talk more grownups.
If your son would not refuse a kiss to his head, I bet your spouse would not refuse a massage! More importantly, when you’re away from home, Call. Text. Video call.
8. HAVE FUN
As much as you can, reduce screen time when you are at home so as to maximize your family time (even if it’s just during family meals). Yes, drop that device! One of the many practical things you can do together is having fun. Let your kids see you as their play buddy too.
Being friends with your kids is a surety when they know you create time for fun. You are not a bore! Don’t let your spouse see you as one around the kids. Integration is important, and what better way to do so than this?
You should try these out:
– Create a mini cinema in your living room, and stretch a day into the night because of it.
– Draw together, homework too.- Read to each other.
– Go on spontaneous trips (Out of the blues!)
– Games and sports (Card games, board games, soccer, and more)
– Little contests. (Staring contest, dancing. Mannequin challenge, amongst the lots.)
– Make funny family videos, and take photographs.
– Plant a mini garden. If you know little, you can learn from your kids. (You can use that avenue to teach them life and growth principles.)
– Family parties. Weekend getaways.
– Learn an instrument, sing along, and play together.
“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.” – Jim Rohn
Phew! Seems like a lot?
Here’s how you begin. You begin by stepping back from that wonderful computer screen and pulling your mind off of your devices to your family. Hey! At the end of the day, you’re not just strengthening your family bond, you’re building a strong family.
The words of Leon Ho, founder, and CEO of Lifehack, on setting family goals would make for my subscript:
“Keep in mind that when setting your family goals, your ultimate objectives will be to build a strong, healthy, and happy family. Being strong means that your family is bonded firmly together and that every member feels important and connected to the family.”
What you just read is a sure-fire way to building and strengthening the family bond. It’s proven because it worked for me. Was this insightful? Leave a comment below!
ALSO, READ 41 Keys to a successful marriage
SIGNS YOUR FAMILY DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOU
Family is one of the most precious gifts given to you by God. Have you ever felt ignored by your family? What are the signs that show your family doesn’t care about you?
In this article, we will be explaining in detail the signs that show your family doesn’t care about you.
Family is the last bus stop during a trail or an emergency. Family is always family, in the sense that they always give you a special treatment filled with love. Although, family differs from each other. Some show signs that they do not care about you, while some may show it to you gradually. The more they show you more signs the more you’ll get drained emotionally, which could even make you feel sick, or even ruin your self-esteem.
Top 7 Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You
1. They Never Ask For Your Opinion
A family that makes deep decisions without your opinion is toxic. At least we know that some decisions are made by the husband and wife. But if the decision requires the presence of the kids, and you’re not being informed, it means that no one cares about you. The only way they may want to compensate you with the info is by surprising you with the update.
2. They Don’t Call You
Love is an action word!! It’s a word that is meant to be proven. If you truly love someone you would always want to hear from the person’s voice. If you noticed nobody calls, except you do, it shows that they don’t care about you. A family that truly cares about can stay a whole month without calling you at least once without checking on you.
3. They Constantly Criticize
If your family criticizes you constructively then it would help you to grow, but not constant and excessive criticism. A family that truly cares about you would always want to help you out in correcting the wrong you do. When your family always finds fault in whatever you do, it may be a sign that they don’t care about you.
4. Nobody Likes To See You Visit
Family members are supposed to find Joy with each other. But if you noticed their sadness or indifference when you visit, it is a sign that they don’t care about you.
I remembered when I was at University. Anytime, I want to come home, my mom will always ask me; Son, what are you going to eat? I’ll reply, my favorite.
Anytime, I’m coming back from the university, it’s always as if there is a ceremony at home. I’m always filled with Joy going home. That’s how it’s supposed to be when you get home. But when you get home and it seems as if your presence doesn’t count, it could be that they don’t like you at all.
Your family is supposed to be the closest people to you, showing concern for all your life actions. If they care they will support your dream and vision.
A toxic family will always act like “do whatever you like, they like they don’t care!”. They should even be the ones disturbing you and making sure they see you following your dreams and goals.
6. Lack of Appreciation
When you do something to help out and nobody cares, not to talk of appreciating you even if it is little.
If nobody appreciates you, a good family must will, which means they care! But if not, it means your family doesn’t care about you.
We all know appreciation boosts confidence and self-esteem. If your family always put you down, battering your self-esteem without any appreciation. It means they don’t care.
7. False Accusations
If something bad happens at home, the first thing is to check and access the situation properly before blaming anyone. If you noticed that whenever something happens, you are always received the blame. Even, when it is apparent you are innocent, it could be a sign that your family no longer cares about you.
8. Lack of Motivation
If your family doesn’t motivate you, it shows that they don’t care at all! In all areas of your life, they should be there to motivate and see you succeed. They should be able to bring the best out of you.
9. Competing With You
If you are experiencing unhealthy rivalry in your family, particularly among siblings, it shows that they don’t like you, they only want your downfall.
ALSO, READ Signs of a Disrespectful Friend
10. Offending You Deliberately
A family who loves you will not want to offend you deliberately. Sometimes they may do this publicly or even at family gatherings. They may even do this to expose a particular weakness you have.
11. Lack of Correction
No one is perfect in this life, hence we are all struggling into the land of perfection. if you make mistakes and they don’t bother calling you to action and correct them. Then is a sign that they don’t care about you.
12. They Give Excuses Always
If your family doesn’t care about you, they would always give you excuses. For instance, on your joyous day, a good family that loves you would even help you to plan and even join you in celebration.
But for those that don’t care about you, the reverse is the case. They’ll give you all sorts of excuses including using meetings, other activities, or even a program as alibis.
You might be staying very close to them and they’d still offer excuses to you! Some of them even if they don’t come for your celebration, will not want to assist you financially.
What other signs do you think when it is displayed, it shows your family doesn’t care about you?
ALSO, READ 9 signs you’re a Control Freak
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