Should a relationship be kept in private? Yes!!! Depending on how you want it to be. So many persons who have engaged in public relationships have started having regrets of not making it a low key relationship. Keeping your relationship private shouldn’t make you feel like you are punishing yourself. Keeping your relationship private is making your relationship confidential. A private relationship is very similar to a marriage-relationship. In marriage, there is nothing like 3rd party (such as the involvement of the in-laws in their marital affair)..
Your joy in a relationship should be the most important factor that you have to seek first rather than pleasing others.
I’m a person who loves keeping secrets hence, I’ve engaged myself in many private relationships, and I must tell you that’s it’s pretty nice.
Keeping a private relationship is usually a personal decision and there must be a mutual decision for it to take a proper effect.
Putting your relationship on air, is like adding petrol to a burning bush. And any mistake you make is usually hard to live with.
When I was new in relationship stuff I used to have the mind set that any girl that would want to keep a private relationship with me has someone else that she’s hiding.
6 REASONS TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP PRIVATE:
1. BREAKUPS ARE MUCH CLEANER AND LESS DRAMATIC:
When you have a private relationship, it’ll be easier to walk away from a toxic relationship.
The last time I entered into a public relationship, although it was amazing and I kinda loved it because I felt I was safe, cos a lot of people knew my girlfriend.
After a while we had so many issues in our relationship, all leading to a breakup. Gosh!!! I was like how am I going to get away with this relationship without being dramatic? I must tell you that when you keep a private relationship, even if you decide to break up. There won’t be any raging alarm..
These are the disadvantages many celebrities get when they are in a public relationship. Breaking up in a public relationship often comes with shame!!!
2.YOU WILL GET A CHANCE TO SOLIDIFY YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE IT CAN BE TORN DOWN.
Do you know thaut friends outside the relationship can tear your relationship apart? This actually happened to me years back. I once engaged in online dating. Things were moving so well with this girl. When I first saw her I was so happy and we really had fun that day.. everything changed when she introduced me to her friend. From that night she stopped talking to me, everything happened to me like a dream!!
When you keep a private relationship you’ll get a chance to grow it without having eyes around, that would want to dictate every decision you take.. whether you want to keep it public in the future, beware of who you share your relationship secrets with..
3.TO AVOID GOSSIPS
A public relationship usually attracts so many gossips and lies attached. But when you involve yourself in a private relationship you won’t hear those gossips. Sometimes those gossips may actually be a lie in other to destroy your relationship. When you publicize your relationship, the rate at which people envy you would increase.
4.SHUTS OUT BAD ADVICE
You’ll only get unsolicited advice when you keep your relationship public. You’ll always have lots of friends around to give you bad advice when your relationship is publicized, because you may never know who wants your downfall just to take away your partner from you.
5. IT STRENGTHENS YOUR RELATIONSHIP
You’ll have time for yourself to work out and strengthen your relationship in the right approach without any external assistance. Even If you choose to make your relationship public in future, keeping it private helps you to make decisions without the consent of anyone..
6.YOU’LL HAVE PRIVACY AND FEWER PEOPLE MONITORING YOU
If only you’ve experienced a public relationship just like the celebrities out there then you’ll know what peace is like in a relationship. You’ll be free like a bird and besides, you’ll have fewer persons monitoring you and your partner. when you are in a private relationship you won’t see someone telling you he/she saw your partner with another guy at the bar.
How To Tell Your Partner To Lose Weight
One of the most agonizing things to do in life is hurting your loved one. Most especially if that said loved one, is your soulmate.
Many people are now stuck, thinking how they can tell their partners how to lose weight, without offending their missing rib.
But like all good things, in life. The only easy way is the hard way. As such, you should be ready to dish out a healthy dose of tough love.
After all, you want to stay with that person for as long as possible, before “Professor Death”, comes to mark your life script.
What shall it profit you to keep quiet, then watch your partner, jeopardize their health, and ultimately, your relationship?
So for this reason, you need to take the initiative and stand firm. After all, because you love them, that is why you need to whoop their ass.
4 Ways to Tell Your Partner to Lose Weight
1. Think about the health implication
You have to note that if you don’t help your partner, nobody else would. As such, you are entirely responsible, for turning the tide of health, of your partner.
Remember the vows you took, to love and protect. This is an opportunity to prove to yourself that you love your partner.
2. Be there for them
Nobody was born fat. Due to ignorance in part by people, over time the ill effect took root, and metamorphosed itself, into that protruding belly, which is ridiculous.
Gift them an online weight loss course
There is fat-shaming in the world. As such, the best option, can actually, be learning how to lose weight at home.
I discovered an easy to use 6 months weight loss plan that you can use to lose weight, right in the comfort of your home. In the early stages of your weight loss journey.
3. Encourage them
Make sure you encourage your partner, at this lowest point in their lives. It will do well in lifting up their spirits and morale.
So that they can keep on pushing, in their journey of trying to lose weight.
4. Change the kitchen foods
You can swap out all the junk foods from inside your house. That way, your partner is not tempted to relapse into their previous bad eating habits.
5. Don’t be a menace
At the end of the day, you must realize that nobody cares. When all is said, and done, you will eventually die, and that weight loss goal will be buried with you, six feet in the ground.
So don’t fret too much. Nevertheless, if you can’t stand it, then learn how to lose weight at home, by following our 6 months weight loss program.
15 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You
You ended things with them; and now, they are really acting Strange towards you. It could be signs your ex is pretending to be over you when he/she is not. Some Signs you get after a breakup is not something you want to misinterpret regardless of how bad the breakup was.
Once upon a time, things were good between both of you. Because things came to the point of breakup, doesn’t mean you have both moved on. Just because, you called it quits some time ago; doesn’t mean everything that happened between you two, is forever erased.
One of you may just be faking it. Because you are human and once knew this person, there are signs that will point you in that direction.
He may be texting you or behaving in a weird way. And because he/she is just expressing their feelings; it may be confusing to understand.
Also, depending on the reason for the breakup or situation, you may both still come back together or not.
In this article, let’s let clarify one important fact before looking at the 13 observable signs that your
Can Your Ex Pretend To Move On?
Yes! In actual fact, it may be the reason you are reading this article. You probably do not just understand the person’s actions toward you.
According to Ken Page, who is a therapist and relationship expert, “there are different ways people pretend to be over someone, its either they’re lying to themselves, their ex, or other people in their lives”. “They do that because they want to be resilient and it’s terribly hurtful to go through a breakup.”
He added, that it’s not uncommon to try moving on quickly to a place of being over someone. He also explains that on a general note, we are never truly over someone as much as we claim to be.
According to Psychologist and relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., “pretending to oneself is the most common pretending of all”. She also says “I have worked with people who kid themselves into thinking they are over an ex when they really aren’t,” adding that. “Many people don’t want to do the inner work to really be over an ex and simply pretend to have moved on”.
Based on the work of these amazing persons, we can deduce that in fact, many people do pretend to over their ex a lot of times. And it’s more common than we think; it could have even happened to us in the past unknowingly. And also, your ex may just be pretending to be over you.
We all deal with breakups differently. While some are continually in denial; others just let out all the feelings by crying, eating too much, drinking to stupor, and so on. Thus, your ex may just be pretending to be over you to escape reality.
Now let’s get the signs. Beware; they may not show all these signs. However, if they show at least two of these signs, you are right on track.
Here Are 15 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Move On
1. The Signals From Them Is Not Straightforward
This is a sign your ex is pretending to be over you. Because the signals you are getting from becomes very confusing to understand. They show mixed signals, that you find very hard to interpret.
When you ask how they are, they say they are doing very fine; yet they look otherwise. For the guys, his beard may be unshaved, his clothes rumpled, he may reek of alcohol and still tell you he is doing amazingly well.
Or, He may look very sharp and well shaven but with heavy bags under his eyes. You can literarily see exhaustion written over them yet they maintain they are fine.
2. Their Emotions Towards You Are Extreme
This means that everything they feel towards you is heightened. They usually mask the love they have for you; with extreme emotions, like love, hatred, and sadness.
They may not want you to see through their façade so; they hide it, by exhibiting something entirely different. And because they have not moved on, they will eventually show you these extreme emotions.
3. They’re Drunk Dialing You
There is a very clear indication, that they are not over you yet; and only pretending. Drunk dialing can be very annoying; because they’re not even totally aware of it.
But, because they are thinking about you; the first person that comes to their mind to ring in that state is you. It’s now totally dependent on you; if you want to take the call.
4. They’re Drinking A Lot.
Even if normally, the person drinks, it is intensified after your breakup. And even after time has passed, they’re still drinking.
People drink for various reasons; but in their case, it’s to escape the reality, that you are not in the picture anymore. Because of the hurt and sadness, they will try to drown all these feelings in alcohol. Which is why he will drunk dial you.
5. They Keep Trying To Explain The Breakup.
If all he does, when he calls, is to keep explaining the reasons for the break; then, he is still hooked. He keeps dissecting and explaining why he left.
Even when it doesn’t make sense, he keeps talking about it. This means, he is still in denial and has not fully understood it yet. So he can’t even move on.
6. They Want To Remains Friends
This can be very tricky. It could be their way of trying to get you back; or, their way of escape losing you.
So, they are still there; whenever you call on them and are still friends with you. They may not be ready to lose you totally yet.
So, this way they can still have you around. Usually, when this occurs they still want to be more than friends but are more subtle about it.
7. They Stay In Touch With Your Friends
If they are not pretending to be over you, they have no reason to keep in touch with your friends. Except, it’s for business or something of much importance.
So, if they are still calling and having long talks with your friends then they have not truly cut ties with you. Your ex may be hanging out with your friends with hopes to bump into you.
8. People Around Them Try To Get You To Reconcile
These people are around him and they see his state. Thus, they will naturally try to help him. They try to convince you to check upon him.
They know he is not over you yet, and are probably still devastated by the breakup. So in their own way, they will want to bring you two together again.
If they see you, they’ll urge you to call him to know how he is doing. They may even tell you he misses you.
9. They Are Stalking You On Social Media.
You have broken up; yet, they are the first to like and comment on your picture on social media. It means they are not over you yet and just pretending.
Even if they did it when you two were still together, now it’d be even more serious. He doesn’t just like and comment on your posts but he does that as soon as you post them.
10. They’re Refusing To Date Someone Else
If they are refusing to date someone else; even after so much time has passed, they are have not moved on. The excuse they give is usually unrealistic and vague.
Like how they are taking time to love themselves or how they are working on themselves.
There are two reasons they may be doing this, it’s either they are still healing from the breakup or they hope to still get back together with you.
11. They’re Not Sticking To One Person
They are just hopping from one person to another; and, not staying faithful to one person. Today you see them with Tracy, tomorrow it’s Linda.
Meanwhile, when you two were together, they were committed to you. Something is definitely wrong with them. They are not over you just yet.
12. They Still Maintain Contact Even When It’s Not Necessary
Although, they do not have to be in contact with you; yet, they will still call once in a while to check up on you. The reason is simple, it is because they miss you.
This is a very obvious sign’ your ex is pretending to be over you. He won’t just stay off the radar; he will call and send messages when he feels like.
13. They Show Off Their Accomplishment
They are not over you if they are showing off their improvement in your face. You don’t need to know what they have achieved.
No one actually parades their growth, in front of people they don’t care about. His reasons may be in two ways; either he is trying to get you jealous and regret the break-up or he wants you to see his growth and see that he is improving
They Don’t alter Their Schedule and keep running into you.
If your ex has moved on, they will adjust their schedule to avoid awkward moments when they run into you. Rather they maintain the same schedules you are used to in hopes to run into you. They may come with another girl just to get you jealous or they may genuinely just want to see you.
14. They don’t let you get your things and even leave theirs behind.
Are they still holding on to a shirt of yours even after a lot of time has passed? Did they refuse to come to get some of their things left at your place?
It’s not the things that are that valuable to them; they just holding on to it for sentimental reasons. Because they probably miss you. They may even be waiting for you to come to get it so they can spend time with you. People who hope to get back together after a breakup have not really moved on.
15. They are refusing to publicly acknowledge the breakup
It’s because your ex has not moved on so they are still holding on. They will refuse to admit that you are gone because to them, you will still get together. If someone asks them they will rather say you guys are having a misunderstanding rather than you have broken up. On their social media, they will not change their relationship status. They are obviously struggling to let you go.
In the end, what matters is what you want for yourself. They may be showing any of these signs, good or bad but you still get to choose your next step. Either to take them back or break it off completely. So be sure to make the best decision for yourself since you don’t really know what their motive will be if you allow them back into your life,
ALSO, READ 10 Early Signs Of An Insecure Man
30 Ways To Keep A Girl Happy Even If You Suck
Oftentimes, when it comes to how to keep a girl happy, most of us just think of gifts. Although buying her gifts is an option, it’s not the only trick on the table.
If you two are in some kind of relationship or you are working towards the direction of a commitment, it means she already likes you. Therefore, if she already likes you, your job becomes easier.
Keeping a girl happy is not rocket science; issues only arise if she doesn’t like you. If a girl doesn’t like you, it will be very difficult to keep her happy.
There is this saying that “it’s not what is said but who is saying it.” How we react to something oftentimes depends on who it is coming from. Our perception of issues depends on the source.
You’d agree with me, that how you react when an armed robber tells you to lie down, is different from how you react; when a spouse says the same thing. The same thing was said but different reactions followed it.
So, before attempting to keep a girl happy, be sure that she likes you; or at least, she tolerates you. It is important to keep your girlfriend happy because a happy girlfriend equals an enjoyable relationship.
Not all girls are even receptive to gifts; others see it as petty. So, when attempting to keep a girl happy, it doesn’t have to be overboard.
Even in getting gifts, it doesn’t have to burn a hole in your pocket; it should just be really thoughtful.
Since there are a whole lot of other things you can do to keep a girl we will look at 30 ways in this article.
How To Keep A Girl Happy
1. Always Tell Her That You Love Her.
Men are moved by what they see, women, on the other hand, are moved by what they hear. Girls like to be assured in form of words.
So don’t hold back on telling her you love her. If you want to keep a girl happy, always tell her you love her. That way she feels like her love for you is reciprocated and that you love her very much.
Tell her sweet words, like how lucky you feel having her in your life, how your life will be gloomy without her in it. Tell her you love her before hanging up during a phone conversation; she’d probably blush over it.
You can also say it when she is about to leave for somewhere also randomly when you two are together.
2. Always Give Her Compliments.
I mean who doesn’t like compliments? As a human, when someone compliments us, consciously or not it makes us feel better.
Your girl is no different; so, if you want to keep her happy, compliment her. It could be just randomly in between a conversation, and that could earn you a smile.
A well-timed compliment will always elate anyone’s mood. When it comes to compliments, it will always feel better when it’s from the one you love.
It doesn’t have to be you two are together; it could also be on phone or over a text.
An example is how her eyes pop in blue colored dress, or how cute her personality is or how perfectly set her teeth is, how delicious she smells, and so on.
3. Make Her Laugh Often.
One of the admirable traits in guys that girls are attracted to, is the ability to make them laugh. Ladies are usually attracted to guys who can make them laugh.
You do not have to be a comedian to make this happen. You should know the topics she likes, and make a joke about it.
You do not want to make a joke about a topic, which is sensitive to her; so, you won’t upset her.
It is rather imperial, that you know how to make your girl laugh; if, you want to keep her happy. The amazing thing about this is that a girl who likes you would laugh at your jokes; even if, they are lame. You both know the jokes are lame and dumb but she will still laugh at it.
So, not being a guy should not be your excuse for not trying to make your girl laugh. It’s nothing. A little practice can’t fix it; you just have to be intentional about it.
If you are still finding it hard to crack a joke, you could just recall to her an incident in the past that you found funny. Another option is to try making funny faces.
4. Appreciate Her
If you want her to be happy; then, learn to appreciate her. For even the little things, say a “thank you”; as that shows that, you notice her efforts.
Don’t wait till she does something huge, like donating a kidney to you. It could be just because she is your life. An example is “thanks babe for being in my life”. Show gratitude whenever she does something special for you. It will make her happy and she will keep doing more.
5. Communicate With Her As Often As Possible.
Always talking with your girl will make her happy. Communicating keeps your connection secure; that way, you will be in contact with her.
As far she is not complaining about it, keep the calls and texts coming. It doesn’t have to be planned; it could be random.
Call early in the morning to ask about her night and also tell her you missed her. You can also pick up the phone and text her that you love and miss her. This is a very sweet gesture you should do once in a while to keep a girl happy.
In a relationship, you should call or text at least once daily.
6. Leave Short But Sweet Notes, Poems, Or Letters Around Where She Can See Them.
If you both share a space, this can be very romantic. Hand-written notes with cute and romantic words are classic but super effective in putting a smile on a girl’s face.
It would melt her heart and make her blush. It could be in the kitchen, doorknob, by the bedside, or anywhere at all in the house or office.
It doesn’t have to be wordy; an example is “my day is brighter with you in it.” It could also be a poem that is not too wordy but sweet. This makes her happy even in your absence. Love letters are also useful in this case so you could try that out.
7. Shower Her Cute, Sweet, And Romantic Text Messages
If you want to keep a girl happy contact her as soon as possible and as much as possible. So, long as she doesn’t complain about it.
Sending sweet and cute messages to a girl you like comes naturally even if you are not a poet. Texting the girl you love is just you, putting your feeling in words.
Texting makes it easy for you to say things that you may not be comfortable enough to say on the call. Shower her romantic text messages letting her know she is always on your mind.
It may be a regular message when it is from someone else, but from you, it’s just sweet.
8. Learn What She Wants
To keep a girl happy, you must at least learn what she wants or what she is into. Some gestures may seem sweet and cute to you, but they may throw her off.
When it comes to keeping a girl happy, don’t assume what she wants or likes. Take time to notice what she likes.
Don’t make the mistake of getting her strawberry flavored ice cream; when what she likes is chocolate flavored.
We know you want to keep her happy, but do you know what makes her happy? Solve that issue before going on. Know her preferred and best flavors, her allergies, and generally things she is interested in.
Don’t take on her long walks when she detests walking distances. The best way to actually know what she wants is to get to know her.
Probe within comfortable boundaries into her life, likes, dislikes, hobbies, desired destinations, etc. if you know her likes, you can easily pick one of them and surprise her with it.
9. Spoil And Make Her Feel Special
Every lady deserves to be pampered by her man. If you do this her happiness will always be in check.
Women love to be pampered and spoiled it makes them feel loved. Even the highly independent ones also need to be spoiled silly.
And if she feels your love for her, she will definitely be happy. Pampering can be in form of sweet gifts, attention, compliments, shopping, offering to do her chores, singing to her and so many others.
The list is indeed very long so know what she likes and give her plenty of it. If you have female friends around, make sure she gets the lion share everything coming from you.
When having a group conversation, keep her engaged and sneak in compliments in between. This makes her feel special, unique, and valued.
10. Be A Good Listener To Her.
There is a misconception about listening. Most persons think being a good listener is, not talking when the other person is talking; that is not totally correct.
If you just keep mute when a girl is talking, it can become really annoying. Being a good listener is to not just allow the person to freely express herself, but also know how and what type of input to add to the conversation.
It may sometimes require a nod, or a hmm, or a yes, an okay, and so on. Try not to interrupt the person’s speech or look disinterested.
You must be actively involved in the conversation though you may not be really saying anything. It’s very understandable that you may want to interrupt with an important piece of information. But, keep it till she takes a pause and chip it in.
Girls tend to talk and rant a lot more than boys so just listen to her if you want to keep her happy.
11. Extend The Care To The People Around Her
If you want to keep your girl happy, the people around her must be cool with you. Be sure to buy them over to your side; by building a sort of healthy relationship with them.
These people are important in her life and if she has to always fight for you, with them, she won’t be in the best of moods. Be nice to them and try to sort out any form of conflict.
Her family and close friends should at least be talking terms with you. Work on the ones who don’t really like you by trying to impress them.
There is a kind of peace that comes with knowing that your man and the people around him are on good terms. Thus, your effort alone will make her happy.
Need More? Then, You Should Try Out These Other Very Useful Tips Which Includes
- Get her flowers on special occasions to make her feel special. Or, on least expected moments
- Go on romantic dates as often as possible. Candlelight dinners, cute picnics, etc.
- Go on trips together; preferably, her chosen destination or somewhere you know she wishes to visit. It could even be a surprise or planned.
- Cook for her. Breakfast in bed won’t be such a bad idea yea? Cook her favorite meal for her sometimes to make her happy.
- Respect her. Every human wants to be respected and she is no different. So respect her space, decisions, and others.
- Show her you value her. On several occasions, make it obvious to her what void she is filling in your life and just how important she is to you.
- Be interested in her interests. Be genuinely interested in her interests and this will help you make better decisions in the future concerning her.
- Don’t ever cheat on her. Whether you think she will find out, or not; be loyal to her.
- Share your stuff with her. If she wants your hoodie or sweatpants, let her have it. It’s really sweet and will make her happy.
- Value her point of her in your decision-making process. It shows that you have a level of trust in her intelligence. And girls love to be perceived as intelligent.
- Do PDAs if she is up for it. PDA is public display of affection and some ladies absolutely love it. Holding her hands in public, hugging her outdoors, and other affectionate displays. Hug her from behind and do those long hugs.
- Be quick to say sorry genuinely, when you are wrong. Even if she is wrong, and you know the tension won’t reduce till you say sorry, just say it.
- GIVE HER ATTENTION
- GIVE HER MORE ATTENTION
- GIVE HER THE MOST ATTENTION. This doesn’t mean you should pester her; it means to give her the most attention but respect her boundaries if she wants. Always be within her reach.
- Smother her with kisses. Not just on the lips but everywhere. Her hands, neck, forehead, nose, cheek, and everywhere available.
- I know girls ramble a lot but try to keep up. Remember her words especially the ones concerning her interests.
- Trust her. Trust makes a lot of things easier. If she knows you trust her, she will definitely be happier.
- Don’t neglect celebrations; no matter how little they are. Celebrate little things like getting a promotion at work, beating a target, and a couple of other things. Don’t take the fun away because then your relationship becomes boring.
The list may be overwhelming; but if you truly love your girl and you want to keep her happy, it will become easier to make these things happen. It’s true that love pushes us to do things we normally won’t do.
This is true because you are naturally happier if the person you love is happy. Happiness is very contagious, so in keeping your girl happy, you must also be happy. It’s very hard to give what you do not have. Therefore, be happy to keep her happy.
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