Signs You Are Not Ready to Date
In this article, we would be talking on signs you are not ready to date. It has recently become a norm for people to date almost immediately after the previous relationship. There is this misconstrued impression that you are abnormal if you are single. It’s often said that the best way to get over a breakup is to date a new person.
This has often led to serial breakups as you tend to overlook the red flags. Modern-day dating sites have made dating a lot easier. You’re just a swipe away from your partner regardless of compatibility.
Dating is a personal decision and no one should pressurize you into dating when you are not ready. However, if you are uncertain about dating, you can check for the following signs that indicate you’re not ready to date.
- You’re Still Hurting From Your Past Relationship:
Relationships come with a level of uncertainty and numerous peculiarities. It’s two people trying to make things work hence if things go wrong, they need to sever ties that may arise. A breakup from a once-thriving relationship leaves one in a devastating state.
It is a trying stage, one in which you consistently try to heal and move on with your life. At such point, dating tends to be the least of your worries. Therefore, if you’re still hurting from your past relationship, it is a strong indication you need a break and not a new relationship.
- You’re Not Over Your Ex:
Do you regularly make excuses to see your ex, call, or tell them about your day? Do you get jealous if you see them with someone else, or keep in touch with their friends to ask about them? If you post things on social media to get their attention or get emotional if they go on dates, then you are not ready to date.
McCann says that in many cases, people call their exes because they’re “afraid if you’re completely out of touch, they will forget you.” You need a break to get over your ex before starting a new relationship. It’s not fair to your new partner if you are still head over heels in love with your ex.
- You’re Pessimistic About The Outcome: Perhaps, as a result of past relationships that didn’t work out, you have grown to be pessimistic about relationships. While this is not unusual, it reveals you need more time to work on yourself and be open-minded about dating.
You have to grow past the negativities, genuinely trust your partner, and the process in its entirety before dating again. These factors are essential to a successful and pleasant relationship.
- You Want a Perfect Partner: It is a popular and indisputable opinion that no one is flawless. Relationships are between people who love and understand each other. They overlook their flaws and focus on the bright side of their partners, and appreciate them for who they are.
If you want a perfect partner; tall, fair, handsome or beautiful, earn a seven-figure salary, lives in a great house, and rides one of the most expensive cars available then you are not ready for a relationship because there is no such thing as a perfect partner. You have to accept your partner and love them the way they are. Love and understanding are paramount in a relationship.
- You cancel dates:
If you regularly cancel dates on the ground that you are busy, probably with work or other private matters, then you need to find out if you’re busy or you’re not just ready to date. If you want something, you go for it. You make out time to see it works – that is genuine effort.
Sometimes you will realize you have just been giving flimsy excuses on why you don’t want to go for dates. Regularly canceling dates are a sign you are not ready to date.
- You Have an Awful Impression of the Opposite Sex: As a result of previous experiences, you may have a wrong impression of the opposite sex. This may be due to molestation, domestic violence, inequality of rights, child or sexual abuse. These experiences often leave one traumatized. It may further leave them with an indefinite and wrong impression of the gender that perpetrated such an act.
Experiences like these give rise to feminists, misandrists, and misogynists. They tend to have a strong hatred for a given gender and continuously see them as rivals or villains.
- You’re Keen on Your Privacy: Relationship involves two mutually attracted individuals that understand each other and spend quality time together. Both parties are part of each other’s private life; their career, family, and present life. If you love your partner, you let them into your world and make them a part of you. They get to know you and coexist with you.
There is no such thing as absolute privacy in a relationship. If you are dating, you automatically give your partner access to your gadgets, home, and other things. They can abruptly drop by at your place. Being overly concerned about your space or privacy does not depict someone ready to date.
- Discussions on Relationships Don’t Interest You:
This is another sign you’re not ready to date. Some people feel relationships are not necessary, they are so engrossed in their career and hobbies that they care less about relationships.
If you are uninterested when people talk about their relationships and how amazing their partners are, and you do not feel the need to have such a beautiful union, then you are not interested in relationships and shouldn’t bother dating.
You need to have a thorough evaluation of yourself and what you want. You don’t have to feel like an alien or give in to undue pressure to get into a relationship. It is completely okay to be single. It is time to stop testing the waters or trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Take all the time you need, rise above the pressure and negativities, and lead a healthy life. Date when you are ready.
Click here to read How to Build a Lasting Relationship