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6 Disadvantages of sleeping with your ex

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TWO CUTE COUPLE SLEEPING

 Disadvantages of sleeping with your ex

A lot of people don’t think about the disadvantages of sleeping with their ex before jumping in bed with them.

You might say one night stand with him will not hurt,  but believe it or not, it will hurt, a lot.

When I was in high school, my boyfriend that I was dating for 3 years dumped me for my friend, because he thought I was cheating on him with a teacher. I pleaded with him to take me back, I even sent some people to beg him on my behalf, but he refused while saying he loves my friend a lot.

I was devastated and couldn’t move on. he was my first boyfriend as of then and I just wanted him back. After weeks and weeks of persuasion, he accepted with a condition, that I must have sex with him, because he is getting sex from his new girlfriend and that he can leave that relationship for our “no sex relationship game”, and I foolishly accepted.

After having sex with him, he didn’t call me until he wanted another sex. After having sex the second time, he refused to pick my call.  So I kept calling him, after a few days, he answered my call, I was very happy. He said something that candy crushed my heart. He said “And I thought you were a virgin * hiss* and I was wasting my time with you in no stupid sex relationship, thank God I took my friends advice, there is no harm in trying free and desperate food” I was very shocked that I couldn’t blink, I just sat there listening to him and his friends laugh at me through the phone.

ALSO READ having feelings for your bestie? (6 STEPS )

After a week the news spread like a wildfire throughout the school, and I couldn’t go to school anymore, and that’s when all our neighbors heard about it including my family. I thought about suicide, but when my family found out they wouldn’t even let me take my bath alone, I had to do everything with my sister, so that she can keep an eye on me.

Although everyone has their own stories, both beautiful and ugly, sleeping with your ex is a really bad idea.

  1. Prank/bet: After breaking up with your ex, and one day you guys started charting again, talking, and joking about old times. And one weekend, your ex nocks at your door, you open it and he says surprise with a wine in his hand, and with a smile, you let him in. After two or more glasses of wine later, you started making eye contacts, well to cut the long story short, one thing leads to another and you had amazing sex. And you started thinking, “why did we even break up on the first place” You woke up the next morning and see that your house was empty, you called him and he said, that the sex meant nothing, that it was just a prank, a bet he made with his friends.

See, you just toyed with your own heart, instead of thinking about another shot with your ex, why don’t you use it and take a break and breath some fresh air. I know you might still love your ex, but he/she might not love you anymore and has moved on, so it’s better to just take the wax off at once, than one hair at a time, either way, they are all painful.  So you have to cut the line with a sharp scissors

Instead of a rusty razor blade, it’s better to end fast and cry once than to end it slowly and cry every day.

 

  1. Getting Caught: Having sex with your ex, when you both have moved on is total screw up. It’s like gambling, only that your relationship is the bet. Sometimes you think you’ve played your game very well, until one day you get caught by your boyfriend or even your ex’s girlfriend, by then it’s game over, you neither have a boyfriend nor a fuck buddy. It’s a really bad thing to cheat in a relationship, especially when you have a Gentle and faithful man as a boyfriend or husband.

 

  1. Blackmail: Sleeping with your ex can take your whole life from slow and peaceful to being blackmailed and scared. If you and your ex ended things in an ugly way, you should be conscious of them when they come back all smiling. You cheat on your faithful boyfriend, and he finds out and was very heartbroken and disappointed at you. He calls off the relationship, and you know that you love him so much was also disappointed at yourself. After some months he calls you and said he wants you back, after having sex, and reconnecting happily, your mind tells you that you don’t connect to anyone as much as you two. And you apologized for what you did, he smiles and kissed your temple, got off bed wore his dress, and walks out of your house. You receive a video message and you watch it, only to see your self having sex with him, and other nude pictures of you with a caption that read “it’s payback time bitch”

You thought you two were connecting, becoming intimate again, but what you did not understand is the meaning of the word ‘Intimate’.  Look,  intimacy is not all about sex, it’s not about sex at all. It’s more about the feeling, the openness, and also the closeness. The question is before you conclude that your connection and intimacy theory, did you feel the real intimacy?

 

  1. Decreases your Self-respect: Sleeping with your ex decreases your self-respect. Talking from experience, when he called me desperate free food, I know how small I felt. All my self-esteem went flying through the window. Before you go hooking up with your ex think about how you will feel after that 5 to 50 minutes of sex, how disrespectful you will feel about yourself.
  2. Sexually Transmitted Disease/ unwanted Pregnancy: STD/pregnancy is another reason why you should keep away from sex with your ex. In the past few months of being separated from your ex, you might not know his/her lifestyle anymore, you do not know if he has a new bae/boo or sleeps around. A one night with your ex can get you pregnant or worse STD.
  3. Suicide/self-harm: Sleeping with your ex

Can equally lead to suicide/self-harm. You think you are reconnecting with your ex, rekindling the old flame until he tells you to your face that he has moved on, or worse, that it’s just pranking, a bet, or payback. By then you will realize that he has been playing with your emotions, and became really heartbroken, so you started putting blames on yourself, beating yourself up for being so easy, in my own experience ‘desperate’ and you will want to hurt yourself.

If you find yourself in this condition, just know that suicide is not the answer. Get up and get your head straight. There a lot of men out there that want you so bad. So get up, dress up, and go treat yourself to some ice cream, talking from experience ice cream do help. Always know that your Mr. Right is still out there.

 

Sleeping with your Ex, whether it’s just a hookup, or out of boredom or because you still have feelings for them, is a really bad idea, so it’s better to end things clearly with them, sever your ties with them and move on, meet new people, make new friends and mingle.

Click here to READ 7 Signs That A Guy Likes You.

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Marriage & Divorce

How To Stop Dating A Married Man

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how to stop dating a married man

This generation of ours has made every negative thing a norm and tends to forget the absurdness of it. For example, The negativity around depression has failed to be seen as people find solace in it, speeding toxicity, another example can be seen in prostitution, where this is seen as a “Career” or a source of income. The world has failed to see the absurdness of this making women more objectified and this should not be. Another example is Dating married men, Women see this as a norm and a source of income for themselves, not thinking of the absurdness of this….They just do it without thinking!

When things like prostitution are made a norm there is a tendency that woman would date married men. Some of them do this for reasons best known to them, while some of them do it because of preference, they just prefer married men.

Some of them don’t even know why they do it, they just feel like it’s the right thing to do and they just go for it. Some of them do it to spite the wife in the marriage for one misunderstanding or the other, Some of the.do it because it was spiritually inclined into them.

But, This doesn’t mean that some of them are not tired of it, especially those ones who don’t know why they do it and feel ashamed about it, they want to stop but they don’t know how to, they have tried what they thought was right but still had the same results, and I know that you reading this right now might be one of them.

Ways to Stop Dating A Married Man

1: Acknowledge that it’s a problem

Until you see the absurdness of this you would not be able to make the decision of stopping it. Until you see why it is wrong and should not be done at all, there is every tendency that you might not make the choice of stopping. So firstly think about the absurdness, acknowledge that is wrong, and work towards your stopping it.

2: Put God first

When you acknowledge that it’s a problem, run back to the place of prayer and let God take over, sometimes spirituality is involved. Daily reading and meditating on the bible tends to change your perspective about life making you see more of the absurdness of Dating A Married Man.

ALSO, READ 18+ Proven Signs A Married Man is Unhappy in His Marriage

3: Set your priorities right:

It is said that some of them that do it and want to stop but can’t stop is because of the income they make from it, the comfort it brings and the solace added, making it their top priority. This is the excuse they have. But after acknowledging that it’s a problem and putting God first, set your priorities right.

Be independent, withdraw from that relationship, and start a life of your own, where you don’t have to rely on a man or a married man for your well-being, Establish yourself. This is one of the ways a strong woman is built, she starts by setting her priorities right.

Ways you can set your priorities right include

A: Believe in yourself:

Many women think or feel that they cannot do anything without the help of a man or a man who already knows how to take care of a woman because of his experience in marriage. But facing the fact that it is wrong and telling yourself you can do better than that, you can become who you want to become without giving yourself to a married man.

B: Do a reality check:

Look things logically, a married man would only see you as mistress and nothing more, he wouldn’t have time for you, he’d always come only when he feels like, you’re not being loved but being used. You’re not in a relationship that would lead to a happy married life, you’re just eating What you  did not cook, and what you fail to understand is the bitterness of the after taste, you’re in a relationship where you’re at the mercy of whatever he brings, whether it works for you or not.

He’s not going to meet your parents because you don’t expect him to leave his wife because of you, and if he was going to marry you, think about how his kids would feel, they would hate you for stealing their mom’s lover, can you deal with that?  Would your loved ones approve of it, ask yourself these questions.

Doing a reality check makes you come to a realization of these things.

C: Tell the wife:

This basically frees you from the guilt. Your freedom is what matters, telling the wife doesn’t make you a coward, or show your sense of irresponsibility, it only shows your level of good reasoning and good you have come to the realization of the absurdness of it. When you te the wife you are free.

D: Break up with him:

This is the point where you make that decision to cut ties and don’t go back. This is the point where your realization comes into reality. Then you can become independent.

4: Do a daily Mind exercise:

Dating Married men can be traced psychologically, as it becomes a mindset that has been embedded into you by experience, doing mind exercises can completely eradicate the thoughts of your mind. Close your eyes for ten to fifteen seconds, imagine yourself coming out of that situation or that mindset and keep working towards it by the first three things listed above.

5: Change your hobbies:

This might seem funny, but every little thing matters. Most women date married men because of their love for luxury and material things, they want everything on a platter of gold, their love for money would always cloud their mindset, and the fact that they always get it would set their hobbies to doing things that are luxury worthy. For example, Shopping every single day, reckless spending of money on things that don’t matter, etc. Therefore making these things their favorite thing to do.

So changing your hobbies to little things and finding your talent improves your probability of not dating Married men.  When you work for some things yourself and do some things by yourself without the help of anyone, you’d actually know what you actually like and what you don’t.

6: Seek Counsel:

After doing everything listed above, seeking advice from a good adult would do a great deal of detaching yourself from Dating a Married Man. A counselor would always tell the truth and give you the next line of action.

Conclusion

How to stop Dating A Married Man is a choice you have to make, a choice that has to come from the realization of the absurdness, setting your priorities right, changing your hobbies, doing a little mind exercise and seek good counsel. With a these well done, dating a married man would not even be a thought in your mind not to talk of an act!

ALSO, READ SIGNS HE WANTS TO GET YOU IN BED

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Love & Dating

How To Tell Your Partner To Lose Weight

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How To Tell Your Partner To Lose Weight

One of the most agonizing things to do in life is hurting your loved one. Most especially if that said loved one, is your soulmate.

Many people are now stuck, thinking how they can tell their partners how to lose weight, without offending their missing rib.

But like all good things, in life. The only easy way is the hard way. As such, you should be ready to dish out a healthy dose of tough love.

After all, you want to stay with that person for as long as possible, before “Professor Death”, comes to mark your life script.

What shall it profit you to keep quiet, then watch your partner, jeopardize their health, and ultimately, your relationship?

So for this reason, you need to take the initiative and stand firm. After all, because you love them, that is why you need to whoop their ass.

4 Ways to Tell Your Partner to Lose Weight

1. Think about the health implication

You have to note that if you don’t help your partner, nobody else would. As such, you are entirely responsible, for turning the tide of health, of your partner.

Remember the vows you took, to love and protect. This is an opportunity to prove to yourself that you love your partner.

2. Be there for them

Nobody was born fat. Due to ignorance in part by people, over time the ill effect took root, and metamorphosed itself, into that protruding belly, which is ridiculous.

Gift them an online weight loss course

There is fat-shaming in the world. As such, the best option, can actually, be learning how to lose weight at home.

I discovered an easy to use 6 months weight loss plan that you can use to lose weight, right in the comfort of your home. In the early stages of your weight loss journey.

3. Encourage them

Make sure you encourage your partner, at this lowest point in their lives. It will do well in lifting up their spirits and morale.

So that they can keep on pushing, in their journey of trying to lose weight.

4. Change the kitchen foods

You can swap out all the junk foods from inside your house. That way, your partner is not tempted to relapse into their previous bad eating habits.

5. Don’t be a menace

At the end of the day, you must realize that nobody cares. When all is said, and done, you will eventually die, and that weight loss goal will be buried with you, six feet in the ground.
So don’t fret too much. Nevertheless, if you can’t stand it, then learn how to lose weight at home, by following our 6 months weight loss program.

ALSO, READ Powerful Emotional Text Messages for Someone you Love

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Love & Dating

15 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You

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Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You




You ended things with them; and now, they are really acting Strange towards you. It could be signs your ex is pretending to be over you when he/she is not. Some Signs you get after a breakup is not something you want to misinterpret regardless of how bad the breakup was.

Once upon a time, things were good between both of you. Because things came to the point of breakup, doesn’t mean you have both moved on. Just because, you called it quits some time ago; doesn’t mean everything that happened between you two, is forever erased.

One of you may just be faking it. Because you are human and once knew this person, there are signs that will point you in that direction.

He may be texting you or behaving in a weird way. And because he/she is just expressing their feelings; it may be confusing to understand.

Also, depending on the reason for the breakup or situation, you may both still come back together or not.

In this article, let’s let clarify one important fact before looking at the 13 observable signs that your

Can Your Ex Pretend To Move On?

Yes! In actual fact, it may be the reason you are reading this article. You probably do not just understand the person’s actions toward you.

According to Ken Page, who is a therapist and relationship expert, “there are different ways people pretend to be over someone, its either they’re lying to themselves, their ex, or other people in their lives”. “They do that because they want to be resilient and it’s terribly hurtful to go through a breakup.”

He added, that it’s not uncommon to try moving on quickly to a place of being over someone. He also explains that on a general note, we are never truly over someone as much as we claim to be.

According to Psychologist and relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., “pretending to oneself is the most common pretending of all”. She also says “I have worked with people who kid themselves into thinking they are over an ex when they really aren’t,” adding that. “Many people don’t want to do the inner work to really be over an ex and simply pretend to have moved on”.

Based on the work of these amazing persons, we can deduce that in fact, many people do pretend to over their ex a lot of times. And it’s more common than we think; it could have even happened to us in the past unknowingly. And also, your ex may just be pretending to be over you.

We all deal with breakups differently. While some are continually in denial; others just let out all the feelings by crying, eating too much, drinking to stupor, and so on. Thus, your ex may just be pretending to be over you to escape reality.

Now let’s get the signs. Beware; they may not show all these signs. However, if they show at least two of these signs, you are right on track.

Here Are 15 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Move On

1. The Signals From Them Is Not Straightforward

pic of a man drunk

This is a sign your ex is pretending to be over you. Because the signals you are getting from becomes very confusing to understand. They show mixed signals, that you find very hard to interpret.

When you ask how they are, they say they are doing very fine; yet they look otherwise. For the guys, his beard may be unshaved, his clothes rumpled, he may reek of alcohol and still tell you he is doing amazingly well.

Or, He may look very sharp and well shaven but with heavy bags under his eyes. You can literarily see exhaustion written over them yet they maintain they are fine.

2. Their Emotions Towards You Are Extreme

This means that everything they feel towards you is heightened. They usually mask the love they have for you; with extreme emotions, like love, hatred, and sadness.

They may not want you to see through their façade so; they hide it, by exhibiting something entirely different. And because they have not moved on, they will eventually show you these extreme emotions.

3. They’re Drunk Dialing You

There is a very clear indication, that they are not over you yet; and only pretending. Drunk dialing can be very annoying; because they’re not even totally aware of it.

But, because they are thinking about you; the first person that comes to their mind to ring in that state is you. It’s now totally dependent on you; if you want to take the call.

4. They’re Drinking A Lot.

pic of  a man drunk

Even if normally, the person drinks, it is intensified after your breakup. And even after time has passed, they’re still drinking.

People drink for various reasons; but in their case, it’s to escape the reality, that you are not in the picture anymore. Because of the hurt and sadness, they will try to drown all these feelings in alcohol. Which is why he will drunk dial you.

5. They Keep Trying To Explain The Breakup.

If all he does, when he calls, is to keep explaining the reasons for the break; then, he is still hooked. He keeps dissecting and explaining why he left.

Even when it doesn’t make sense, he keeps talking about it. This means, he is still in denial and has not fully understood it yet. So he can’t even move on.

6. They Want To Remains Friends

This can be very tricky. It could be their way of trying to get you back; or, their way of escape losing you.

So, they are still there; whenever you call on them and are still friends with you. They may not be ready to lose you totally yet.

So, this way they can still have you around. Usually, when this occurs they still want to be more than friends but are more subtle about it.

7. They Stay In Touch With Your Friends

If they are not pretending to be over you, they have no reason to keep in touch with your friends. Except, it’s for business or something of much importance.

So, if they are still calling and having long talks with your friends then they have not truly cut ties with you. Your ex may be hanging out with your friends with hopes to bump into you.

8. People Around Them Try To Get You To Reconcile

These people are around him and they see his state. Thus, they will naturally try to help him. They try to convince you to check upon him.

They know he is not over you yet, and are probably still devastated by the breakup. So in their own way, they will want to bring you two together again.

If they see you, they’ll urge you to call him to know how he is doing. They may even tell you he misses you.

9. They Are Stalking You On Social Media.

they'll stalk you on social media

You have broken up; yet, they are the first to like and comment on your picture on social media. It means they are not over you yet and just pretending.

Even if they did it when you two were still together, now it’d be even more serious. He doesn’t just like and comment on your posts but he does that as soon as you post them.

ALSO, READ 30 Ways To Keep A Girl Happy Even If You Suck

10. They’re Refusing To Date Someone Else

If they are refusing to date someone else; even after so much time has passed, they are have not moved on. The excuse they give is usually unrealistic and vague.

Like how they are taking time to love themselves or how they are working on themselves.

There are two reasons they may be doing this, it’s either they are still healing from the breakup or they hope to still get back together with you.

11. They’re Not Sticking To One Person

They are just hopping from one person to another; and, not staying faithful to one person. Today you see them with Tracy, tomorrow it’s Linda.

Meanwhile, when you two were together, they were committed to you. Something is definitely wrong with them. They are not over you just yet.

12. They Still Maintain Contact Even When It’s Not Necessary

Although, they do not have to be in contact with you; yet, they will still call once in a while to check up on you. The reason is simple, it is because they miss you.

This is a very obvious sign’ your ex is pretending to be over you. He won’t just stay off the radar; he will call and send messages when he feels like.

13. They Show Off Their Accomplishment

They are not over you if they are showing off their improvement in your face. You don’t need to know what they have achieved.

No one actually parades their growth, in front of people they don’t care about. His reasons may be in two ways; either he is trying to get you jealous and regret the break-up or he wants you to see his growth and see that he is improving

They Don’t alter Their Schedule and keep running into you.

If your ex has moved on, they will adjust their schedule to avoid awkward moments when they run into you. Rather they maintain the same schedules you are used to in hopes to run into you. They may come with another girl just to get you jealous or they may genuinely just want to see you.

14. They don’t let you get your things and even leave theirs behind.

Are they still holding on to a shirt of yours even after a lot of time has passed? Did they refuse to come to get some of their things left at your place?

It’s not the things that are that valuable to them; they just holding on to it for sentimental reasons. Because they probably miss you. They may even be waiting for you to come to get it so they can spend time with you. People who hope to get back together after a breakup have not really moved on.

15. They are refusing to publicly acknowledge the breakup

It’s because your ex has not moved on so they are still holding on. They will refuse to admit that you are gone because to them, you will still get together. If someone asks them they will rather say you guys are having a misunderstanding rather than you have broken up. On their social media, they will not change their relationship status. They are obviously struggling to let you go.

Wrapping UP

In the end, what matters is what you want for yourself. They may be showing any of these signs, good or bad but you still get to choose your next step. Either to take them back or break it off completely. So be sure to make the best decision for yourself since you don’t really know what their motive will be if you allow them back into your life,

ALSO, READ 10 Early Signs Of An Insecure Man






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