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6 Disadvantages of sleeping with your ex

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 Disadvantages of sleeping with your ex

A lot of people don’t think about the disadvantages of sleeping with their ex before jumping in bed with them.

You might say one night stand with him will not hurt,  but believe it or not, it will hurt, a lot.

When I was in high school, my boyfriend that I was dating for 3 years dumped me for my friend, because he thought I was cheating on him with a teacher. I pleaded with him to take me back, I even sent some people to beg him on my behalf, but he refused while saying he loves my friend a lot.

I was devastated and couldn’t move on. he was my first boyfriend as of then and I just wanted him back. After weeks and weeks of persuasion, he accepted with a condition, that I must have sex with him, because he is getting sex from his new girlfriend and that he can leave that relationship for our “no sex relationship game”, and I foolishly accepted.

After having sex with him, he didn’t call me until he wanted another sex. After having sex the second time, he refused to pick my call.  So I kept calling him, after a few days, he answered my call, I was very happy. He said something that candy crushed my heart. He said “And I thought you were a virgin * hiss* and I was wasting my time with you in no stupid sex relationship, thank God I took my friends advice, there is no harm in trying free and desperate food” I was very shocked that I couldn’t blink, I just sat there listening to him and his friends laugh at me through the phone.

ALSO READ having feelings for your bestie? (6 STEPS )

After a week the news spread like a wildfire throughout the school, and I couldn’t go to school anymore, and that’s when all our neighbors heard about it including my family. I thought about suicide, but when my family found out they wouldn’t even let me take my bath alone, I had to do everything with my sister, so that she can keep an eye on me.

Although everyone has their own stories, both beautiful and ugly, sleeping with your ex is a really bad idea.

  1. Prank/bet: After breaking up with your ex, and one day you guys started charting again, talking, and joking about old times. And one weekend, your ex nocks at your door, you open it and he says surprise with a wine in his hand, and with a smile, you let him in. After two or more glasses of wine later, you started making eye contacts, well to cut the long story short, one thing leads to another and you had amazing sex. And you started thinking, “why did we even break up on the first place” You woke up the next morning and see that your house was empty, you called him and he said, that the sex meant nothing, that it was just a prank, a bet he made with his friends.

See, you just toyed with your own heart, instead of thinking about another shot with your ex, why don’t you use it and take a break and breath some fresh air. I know you might still love your ex, but he/she might not love you anymore and has moved on, so it’s better to just take the wax off at once, than one hair at a time, either way, they are all painful.  So you have to cut the line with a sharp scissors

Instead of a rusty razor blade, it’s better to end fast and cry once than to end it slowly and cry every day.

 

  1. Getting Caught: Having sex with your ex, when you both have moved on is total screw up. It’s like gambling, only that your relationship is the bet. Sometimes you think you’ve played your game very well, until one day you get caught by your boyfriend or even your ex’s girlfriend, by then it’s game over, you neither have a boyfriend nor a fuck buddy. It’s a really bad thing to cheat in a relationship, especially when you have a Gentle and faithful man as a boyfriend or husband.

 

  1. Blackmail: Sleeping with your ex can take your whole life from slow and peaceful to being blackmailed and scared. If you and your ex ended things in an ugly way, you should be conscious of them when they come back all smiling. You cheat on your faithful boyfriend, and he finds out and was very heartbroken and disappointed at you. He calls off the relationship, and you know that you love him so much was also disappointed at yourself. After some months he calls you and said he wants you back, after having sex, and reconnecting happily, your mind tells you that you don’t connect to anyone as much as you two. And you apologized for what you did, he smiles and kissed your temple, got off bed wore his dress, and walks out of your house. You receive a video message and you watch it, only to see your self having sex with him, and other nude pictures of you with a caption that read “it’s payback time bitch”

You thought you two were connecting, becoming intimate again, but what you did not understand is the meaning of the word ‘Intimate’.  Look,  intimacy is not all about sex, it’s not about sex at all. It’s more about the feeling, the openness, and also the closeness. The question is before you conclude that your connection and intimacy theory, did you feel the real intimacy?

 

  1. Decreases your Self-respect: Sleeping with your ex decreases your self-respect. Talking from experience, when he called me desperate free food, I know how small I felt. All my self-esteem went flying through the window. Before you go hooking up with your ex think about how you will feel after that 5 to 50 minutes of sex, how disrespectful you will feel about yourself.
  2. Sexually Transmitted Disease/ unwanted Pregnancy: STD/pregnancy is another reason why you should keep away from sex with your ex. In the past few months of being separated from your ex, you might not know his/her lifestyle anymore, you do not know if he has a new bae/boo or sleeps around. A one night with your ex can get you pregnant or worse STD.
  3. Suicide/self-harm: Sleeping with your ex

Can equally lead to suicide/self-harm. You think you are reconnecting with your ex, rekindling the old flame until he tells you to your face that he has moved on, or worse, that it’s just pranking, a bet, or payback. By then you will realize that he has been playing with your emotions, and became really heartbroken, so you started putting blames on yourself, beating yourself up for being so easy, in my own experience ‘desperate’ and you will want to hurt yourself.

If you find yourself in this condition, just know that suicide is not the answer. Get up and get your head straight. There a lot of men out there that want you so bad. So get up, dress up, and go treat yourself to some ice cream, talking from experience ice cream do help. Always know that your Mr. Right is still out there.

 

Sleeping with your Ex, whether it’s just a hookup, or out of boredom or because you still have feelings for them, is a really bad idea, so it’s better to end things clearly with them, sever your ties with them and move on, meet new people, make new friends and mingle.

Click here to READ 7 Signs That A Guy Likes You.

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Marriage & Divorce

Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney

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Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney

 

Going through a divorce without legal help is like committing financial suicide. You might be thinking of going through your divorce on your own
and just using information that you can research online but that can do more harm than good. Though a DIY divorce may apply to certain situations,
it is still smarter to hire a divorce attorney to ensure that your best interests are taken into consideration. Keep reading for reasons why hiring a divorce
attorney could be one of your best divorce decisions.

You Want to Eliminate Mistakes

“The legal system is complicated enough to navigate for those who have a legal degree, so navigating it from a layman’s perspective is like trying to pilot a plane without even knowing how to ride a bike”, says Michael Porter of Haywood Hunt & Associates Inc.

Legal jargon can be very challenging. It can take just one word for you to completely misunderstand something (like a debt or medical issue) or overestimate/underestimate the value of an asset. This is the last thing you want. Why? Because mistakes like this can cause your financial ruin or may need to be corrected with more legal proceedings in the future. An attorney can ensure that your case is being handled properly and that you will not be making decisions that you will regret for years to come.

You Will Benefit from Legal Advice

A divorce attorney can ensure that you get what you deserve during a divorce. This is important because state laws do not always support an even split of a couple’s assets. There are cases where a spouse is entitled to a spouse’s future income and/or retirement. By hiring an attorney, you ensure that complicated issues such as debts, child custody, current assets, future assets, and child support are legally addressed.

You Want to Minimize Stress

Divorce is a highly stressful time. Not only will it be addressing the end of your marriage, but might also bring up painful experiences from the past. A divorce attorney will provide objective help in gathering information, presenting information, and representing your interests. This will give you more time to process your feelings and take care of yourself and your family.

Keep in mind that a divorce will be a very painful time and the last thing youneed is to have to take on legal work. That is what an attorney is for.

You Don’t Want Delays

Completing all the paperwork needed for a divorce plus gathering information and documenting everything isn’t an easy task. Yes, there are court provided documents but that is just a small percentage of what you actually need. Aside from paperwork, there are other legal issues that can prolong a divorce or halt the progress into a crawl. An experienced divorce attorney knows how to avoid problems like the above and get things done as fast as possible.

You Want A Clear Divorce

A divorce is a legal agreement and is legally binding. You want everything in your divorce to be as clear as possible and that each point that needs to be
addressed are taken care of. A divorce attorney will ensure that your wishes are accurately presented and that you understand everything that goes into
the divorce. This way, the divorce would be free from unclear language or errors.

ALSO, READ TOP 5 MONEY ISSUES THAT COULD  DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP

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Marriage & Divorce

What to Look for in a Wife TO MARRY

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what to look for in a wife

Before getting married to the love of your life as a man, questions like “what to look for in a wife?” Will definitely arise. The ideal woman for Everyman differs. Some may say they want a skinny lady, or a fat girl, if you could hear some of the things said by MEN, as per what they want, you’d be shocked.

Choosing a life partner is a major decision taken by man, here he selects one lady over a bunch of them. Marriage is a lifetime race, and when it’s not been run properly, it could lead to a broken home. Nobody wants a broken home. Everyone wants to live happily ever after. When you choose the wrong partner, it may take you years to correct, or even spending all your life trying to put things in proportion. A marriage that is not Divinely approved will end in divorce, emotional pains, and suffering.

It is therefore important to choose wisely. Before you choose to marry any lady make sure that she is Kind of person, never you force yourself on her just because you think she’s the most beautiful lady on planet Earth or you wanna marry her because she’s a model.
In life generally, if you want to buy something expensive, you don’t just rush in purchasing it. for instance, if you’re trying to buying used car worth $40,000 for yourself, there are things you need to look out for in the car before buying it. You’ll need to check stuffs like the * * vehicle history- you’ll need to make sure that the vendor is not selling a stolen car. Through the use of VIN, you can actually check if the car has been in an accident.
• You can check how efficient the engine is- this would be better if you go with an motor engineer (i.e the mechanic). In order not to bore you with these,the main message is to carefully search what’s needed.
So, If you’ve been asking questions like What qualities should I look for in a wife? Then keep reading this article .

6 Things To Look For In A Wife

Like we said in the beginning, men have different tastes when choosing women, but we’re going to bring out the most important thing to look for when hunting for a wife. They are things that you must consider without looking back.

1.Attractiveness

ATTRACTIVE LADY

I’ve always told my friends that if I want to marry, I must marry someone who I’m deeply attracted to. Yes! She may have all the wife material features, but bro, if she isn’t so attracted to you, I’ll advise you to leave her. Attraction isn’t everything but it’s something.

You may say, she’s beautiful, she has the qualities of a good wife, she’s just so perfect in her ways… but if you’re not attracted to her it may lead to another problem in future.
A girl once crushed on me years back! I noticed she had every quality that a good mother should possess but the problem actually was that I wasn’t attracted to her… I vividly know that if I end up marrying her, I would cheat on her like I never had a wife.

If you aren’t comfortable hanging out with your woman or introducing her to your friends, then I’m sorry to give you the breaking news, “Leave her Alone”, this may be very hard for you.. it was hard for me when I decided to make my own decisions, but the good news is that you’ll overcome.
It is very good to foresee because, if you’re marrying her because she is skinny, her body morphology may change with the season, she may run out of your taste!!
Marry someone who you know with or without her body changing drastically, you’ll still fall for her. Attraction goes beyond the physical structure, it’s more of a psychological feature, so be wise!!!!!!

2. She brings out the Best in You

Wow!! This is also an important factor in what to look for in a wife… one important question to ask yourself is “does my woman brings out the best in you?” Not all women have the capability. If you have one like this, then you’ll need to hold her really tight..

Some women may just decide to focus on just themselves, but a woman who’s really interested in you will want to resharpen and remold you.
If you’ve got the habit of smoking and drinking alcohol all the time, extravagant living, she’ll want to help you in that arena.
One way to know that she really brings out the best in you is that whenever you’re with her, you’re always inspired and you just discovered something just awakened in you.

This kind of woman reinforces your confidence. Here, she’s just like a coach to you. She just has the ability to make your world brighter.
She’s never in to demotivate, instead, she’ll motive and lift your heart’s up…
If you’re in a relationship now and you’ve ever felt like you’re in a prison, then that should be a red flag on your side telling you to run.

ALSO, READ BEST ROMANTIC LOVE LETTERS FOR YOUR PARTNER

3. Find a Wife who’ll Love you Unconditionally

An Ex. Once asked me, Josh!! Why do you love me?? Can you please tell me what you like about me or the major reason why you love me???.. As a relationship expert, you know full well that the answers you make can hurt you or flame up something in the future. Like the cops will always tell any criminal they capture. “ any you say or do, will be used against you in the court of law”.

It’s not bad to give an answer of your choice tho.

Finally, I gave her no answer, I just told her that I don’t have any reason(s) for loving you. that if I do, in the future, if that reason is no longer manifesting, then the love will fade away. I told her I just love her unconditionally.

The word unconditionally has a dictionary meaning: without a condition.
The day I was shocked, was when I saw a lady who married a man in a wheelchair. I wept in my heart. I asked my self does true love like this still exists?? That’s an example of an unconditional love.

When exchanging the marriage vow, the priest usually quote stuff like:

“in riches and in poverty”
“in sickness and in good health”
This was meant to be the true definition of an unconditional love.
Looking for someone who’ll love you unconditionally might be very tough for you. But if you carefully watch her well. You’ll be able to detect it.. an adage says by their fruits, ye shall know them. When the fruits in a mango tree is ripe, It’s always accessible for sightseeing until it’s been plucked.
An unconditional love is a sacred kind of love!! Not everyone in a relationship is lucky to get it. Some actually got it, but screwed things up!
Unconditional love also means putting your partners first, Before putting yourself. You deserve a woman that’ll love you the way you are.

4.Sexual Openness

Sexual compatibility should be one of the TOP 3 discussed topics Before marriage.
It’s very important! I once asked a lady, “how sexual are you? Rate it from 1- 10. She said 3. I was shocked, I just told myself deep down, that i cant be with such a fellow!!.

She told me she isn’t a Fan of sex!!! Although research and statistics have proven that sex wanes and waxes at different stages of life. For instance, the sex drive for nursing mother’s periodically low.

If you’re a man who’s practicing abstinence from sex with your partner before marriage, then this issue of sexual openness needs to be taken very seriously.
And if you’re a man who’s so crazy about sex and wants more in marriage, then you’ll need to look for a woman who has a healthy sex life that discusses sex openly, in other not to fall into a sexless marriage.

Find out little things like “does she love kissing?😘”, would she want to explore the world of sex?.
Being so religious shouldn’t make you shy from the REAL TRUTH.
When you fail in this aspect, you’ll be left with no choice rather than to cheat.

5. intellectual and Educational Compatibility

intellectual and Educational Compatibility

It has never been in the dictionary of some educated men to marry a lady that is not educated.
Education shouldn’t be something you place so much value on over intelligence. Education can never be substituted for intelligence!!
Whenever a man feels his woman is less Intelligent and educated than him, if they tend to marry, the man will definitely maltreat her.
However, such men would find it very hard to let their wives make key decisions about child-rearing, money management etc if they doubt their wives’ intelligence.
ALSO, READ SIGNS YOU ARE NOT INTELLECTUALLY COMPATIBLE WITH YOUR PARTNER

6.Marry Your type

Marrying your type means you should look for a wife that has similar traits, characteristics, and personality. If you’re an extroverted man and you’re not really comfy handling an introvert, then you shouldn’t run into marriage with her. Marriage shouldn’t be something that will bore you. Having a partner that you can’t have a long conversation with would be boring especially you’re the type that loves talking a lot.

These are some funny answers that Joshua Isibor– A relationship Coach, got when he asked some guys the kind of lady that they want..

“ I want a woman that loves drinking alcohol”
“ I want a lady who smokes”
“I also want a lady who is good in bed”

The goal here is to find someone that’s like a best friend to you: someone that you’re free with.

Please leave your comments!

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Sex Education

How impotent men can make love?

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Impotence is not to be perceived as an end to fulfilling sex life. It is surely a man’s problem and a woman’s despair. Impotence can be a ruthless relationship killer.
Impotence or ED (Erectile Dysfunction) is still majorly perceived as a man’s problem alone. Because of its embarrassment, many men who suffer refuse to effectively communicate it to their partners. They are ashamed and feel they have to carry the burden of it by dealing with it themselves.
The embarrassment also withholds the suffering men from seeking professional help. The only way they choose to cope is by avoiding sexual contact altogether. Even if the man with the said affliction gathers the guts to reach the therapist’s office, he is against his partner accompanying him more often than not.
Leaving the woman out of the equation alienates her and doubles the impact the man’s impotence has on her well-being. A woman with an impotent partner may feel she is unloved or her appeal is unsexy. She may feel the romantic spark that burned bright with her partner has completely faded.
In her reluctance to appear insensitive, she may hesitate to be proactive in communicating with her partner to satisfy her pent-up s3xual desires. The Woman may fear something’s wrong with her man, something that has to do with his health or his work.
Many men also regain their potency. Even those who don’t can also be effective lovers. With some insights and creative imagination, it’s possible to restrict impotence from ruining your love life and the beauty in your relationship.

When is it not impotence?

An occasional performance failure cannot be categorized as the feared impotence. When a man who was a stellar performer in bed slips in his action one time, her partner may start questioning her self-image and attraction. It is usual for some women to suspect their husbands of having affairs.
All men now and then go through something like this. These occasional failures do not define their identity as impotent. The reasons for it may vary, it can be the many stressful and anxiety-inducing fast-paced lifestyles we are increasingly adopting. Persistent worry and professional obligations may have some part to play.
If it’s an occasional occurrence in performance, ignore it and steer yourself away from the counterproductive thoughts. Don’t start obsessing over it. If such a thought process enters your consciousness, the performance anxiety will slowly creep in. It can lead to a vicious cycle.

How to regain the lost intimacy and make love again?

Communication

The most important and effective tool for a very satisfying sex life or a very fulfilling relationship is clear communication. If you have ED, there is no better way to start addressing and doing something about it.
Talk openly and freely about your intimate desires. Without hesitation communicate your deep fears. The whole experience will manifest a new bond that solidifies your relationship. This eliminates the worry the woman may be having regarding her attraction and sex appeal. It is essential to reassure each other and remain supportive.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A good sex therapist can help you and your partner in overcoming these issues and provide valuable insights on improving your sex life.

Relaxation

Stress and anxiety are significant contributors to ED. In many cases, their role is more impactful than the physiological problems. When buried in worry, both the performance and the enjoyment dwindles.
Redirect your focus and attention from your ED to getting intimate with your partner. Lose yourself in the moment. Enjoy the little things that make the atmosphere romantic and sensual. Cherish the time you are getting to spend with your partner. Try deep breathing exercises to relax and be mindful.
A gentle erotic touch may bring simple pleasure. The more relaxed you are, the more you’ll break the barrier of impotency to experience fulfilling and stress-free sexual action.

Rediscovery

Reflect on the moments you and your partner had when you first started your relationship. Channel that experience of each touch electrifying your senses. Remember what it was like to explore so many new things about this fascinating person. You both had built this bridge of relationship discovering each other’s life from a unique perspective.
Relive those beautiful moments of togetherness. Kiss, laugh and experiment. There are many sex toys available for adult play. Just immerse yourself in the act and just purely enjoy it. Touch and caress each other. Discover the joy in extra-foreplay and sync intimately with your partner.

Playfulness

Even without a firm erection, you may still be able to 0rgasm. Even without intercourse, you and your partner can indulge in a great deal of sexual pleasure. All you need is a desire to take action and a twisted creative thought.
Mutual masturb@tion is one great way to learn more about what you and your partner enjoy. Experiment with innovative s3x toys to turn things spicy on the bed. Sex Vibrators are great to provide CLIT0RAL STIMULATI0N. Penis sleeves are fascinating toys for men with ED to wear and satisfy their partners. Along with tools for arousal and action, both mutual and oral stimulation can also be fun and exciting.
Sex doesn’t just have to be a game where the playground is always the bed. You can choose different and safe locations to be intimate and let the novelty of the place add extra excitement.

Determination

Physical intimacy is an essential part that sustains a happy and satisfying relationship. It’s possible to establish a relationship and have a sexually fulfilling time even without an active ERECTI0N.
Doctors may prescribe medications and treatments for ED. There might be other underlying ignored conditions that need to be addressed. Impotency can also mean early warning signs of heart disease.
For a long-term satisfying s3x life, it’s important to take care of your overall health. You also need to practice good communication to clearly convey your intentions and desires. Have a grip on your sexual expectations, adopt healthy habits into your lifestyle. Don’t forget to get creative to satisfy each other’s needs.

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