Last Updated on August 4, 2022 by Joshua Isibor
Grandparents raising grandchildren is a voyage… Some may say it’s a privilege, some may say, “it’s nonsense I can’t do that!!. I’m not ready for such a huge task.” Raising grandchildren is tasking.
9 Reasons why grandparents get involved in training grandchildren
Most times, when parents become unavailable to take care of their children, grandparents become the new child raiser.
Based on research, In the U.S.A over two million grandparents are functioning as a caregiver to their grandchildren. The rate at which grandparents take care of their grandchildren is drastically increasing.
These are some reasons why grandparents become the new caregivers.
1. When a parent is deceased:
LIFE is not fair, life is unpredictable! The world is full of surprises. A bad event doesn’t always take permission to occur such as an accident, fight, earthquake, fire outbreak, hurricane, etc. A bad event is no-respecter of any person. He doesn’t give a F***k about anybody.
An example of a Good event could be house warming, a birthday celebration, or a wedding( wedding anniversary, party, and many more.) These are predictable events that may even need an Invitation.
Death has caused thousands of children to become an orphan at a very young age. Death can occur through childbearing, accidents, assassination, sickness, and diseases and when a parent is deceased, the child is automatically left to the grandparents.
2. Another thing that can make grandparents become caregivers is when the parent (s) are too busy with their careers.
This is mostly the reason(s) why most grandparents become caregivers.
It could be that the work of the parent is time-consuming, hence this would make the parent want to hand over his/her child to the grandparent.
Sometimes a parent could be stationed overseas in the military.
Grandparents are the best Set of people that can take care of your children. Raising grandkids comes with different challenges.
Grandparents are more experienced in training up a child because they have had several years of experience in child upbringing. YES!! That’s very true you can’t compare a teacher who has been teaching for 20 years to a fresh graduate. Their years of experience differ.
3. When a Parent(s) has an addiction
Every good grandparent would not let their grandchildren be under the roof of an addict. Addiction could be in form of smoking, drinking, or taking hard drugs.
Several years ago, I saw a video of a woman giving her child Marijuana to take.
I WEPT!!!! The child wasn’t even up to 4years. How would you expect the child’s life to be when he’s 18?
4. When a parent has mental health challenges or emotional problems:
Life itself has so many challenges, The mom/dad to the child could have a sickness that must have affected the brain. This could as be the reason why some grandparents raise grandkids
Abnormal people can’t fit in a normal environment. Emotional stress can lead to mental or health challenges.
5. When the Parent is in jail:
In this case, The Child’s parent must have committed a huge crime such as murder, rape, theft, or fraud. This could be another reason why the grandparent(s) takes up the responsibility for raising the kid(s).
6. Youth or inexperience of parents:
Yes. There are so many young parents out there where the lady is usually 16years and the man 18 years. You can’t expect to leave your grandkids for such an inexperienced parent.
It’s not that they are inexperienced but they haven’t experienced the realities of life. Life hasn’t hit them yet.
From the look of things they are still teenagers and at that age they still need grooming, nurturing, and more home training.
7. The Parents Financial status:
Some grandparents are far richer than their children. Especially those grandparents who prepared their future ahead of time.
Years back, there was a woman who had 8 children and when she started having financial issues in her home, she divided the children and gave 4 of them to her grandparents to raise.
8. Domestic violence in the home, family challenges, and divorce:
These are some familiar factors that could make the grandparents take charge of the children. Children are not meant to Visualize certain things in life because in return it could affect their psychological and mental health. domestic violence in the home would mean parents fighting.
9. Physical health issues:
May Include health challenges like stroke, sight, deafness, dumbness, and other health-related issues that can make the child go live with the grandparents.
The challenges of RAISING GRANDKIDS
Grandparents are not as strong as The “original parent” so there are various challenges that the granny might suffer.
1. Physical stress:
The grandparents are old, their health may become friable due to their health so they may not be able to carry out proper care of their grandchildren.
In old age, grandparents are weak. Because of the degeneration of their physical health, they may not be able to give physical and adequate care to the child. eg. bathing the children and giving them a well-balanced diet.
2. Mental Stress:
If the grandchildren’s parents are late, it would become a burden to the grandparents. They’d start thinking of how to get adequate finance to take care of them and lots more.
Due to mental stress, grandparents may look very unkept and dejected. Also, they might not be able to give proper training to the children because they may have other needs such as psychological needs, special medical, and education that require quick attention.
3. Financial handicap:
Financial stress is usually one of the biggest challenges for grandparents raising grandchildren.
Why? Because they may not have the extra financial support, thereby, living with little retirement benefit or not at all. For those who had no opportunity to work with the government, they’d live in abject poverty while training their children.
Due to their improper way of raising children, some children become wayward and become street beggars.
In this case, if the grandparent (s) suddenly find themselves feeding extra mouth without support or a steady income it may lead to their early death.
4. guardianship issues:
This can be quite frustrating especially when the parents are not available, life as a grandparent could be tough because you would experience difficulty in providing medical health care, enrolling them in school, and even accessing their record(s). Getting legal guardianship is usually expensive especially when you are broke!
6 TIPS FOR RAISING GRANDCHILDREN:
1. Establishing a daily schedule:
One quality of being a good granny be it a man or woman is the ability to plan the child’s day (children’s day).
All you need to do is to set up a daily routine that would be beneficial for both you and the kids.
You could try doing things together like fetching water and preparing meals, and always have a day out set aside to learn and teach them new things too.
2. Communicate with them:
Don’t just leave them as people who do not matter, don’t handle them like those who are not up to your standard, ( because they are still growing up). You can talk with them about the rules you have set out and what they think about it.
Most kids communicate through playing, so play regularly with them, and see if anything is bothering them you would know.
As grandparents, you should be interested in knowing about their life challenges and how to help deal with them.
3. You should involve yourself in their school activities:
Many parents fail in this aspect. So as grandparents, making errors like this shouldn’t be allowed.
When you take the children to school you should try to make friends with their teachers/coaches. Also, when you get home, make sure the kids follow up academically, and if peradventure the child has a poor performance you can as well communicate to the teachers to focus on the child a little.
This would make the child perform better. If you are a busy granny you can hire a home lesson teacher for your grandchild/children too.
4. Decide on how to Discipline the Child:
All you need to do is to set rules and limitations (s)… you can get our book on the creative ways to discipline a child at very discount prices here.
5. Take Care of Yourself:
When taking care of the child, You have to remember that we only have one life to live, and you should know that life has no DUPLICATE. Always take care of yourself. If you can afford a nanny to assist you, do so!!!!
You can take care of yourself by taking a nap, exercising, or relaxing. This could help you calm your Nevers.
6. Support or encourage contact with parents:
It is very healthy and necessary for parents and kids to have close relationships, especially when the parent is still alive.
Contact might be in form of phone calls, visiting, or spending holidays. If this is not done when the grandparent(s) is still alive it would be difficult for the parent-child bond when the grannies are gone.
As a grandparent, you should watch your words when talking about your grandchild’s parents, especially if they have done you wrong in the past.
In this case, always make visitation a routine for your grandkids. It might be monthly, quarterly, or annually, depending on the condition at stake.
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