Friendship is an agreement between two or more people who came from free ends and agreed to stay together for some time.
People who can share things, secrets too. Friendship is the basis of every relationship out there. But what happens if the relationship that was built based on that friendship is faltered, then something happens and you guys can no longer be together as a couple…How can you still maintain a level of friendship? How can you be friends with your ex?
Being friends with your ex is not something necessary and not quite advisable. And you’re reading this post mainly because of one thing…..You still have feelings for whoever that person is and you’re trying to create a space for a restart of what you had before. That’s why you’re reading this post.
Being friends with someone you broke up with or someone who broke up with you would create a lot of awkward moments between you two, both in private and public places. So in this post, you’re going to be reading how to curb those awkward moments. Please remember to drop your thoughts in the comments zone…thank you!
Note this: Before trying to get back the friendship you once had, there has to be a break between the both of you for a particular period.
1: It has to be an agreement between the both of you
The both of you already have a history together, so trying to start over has to be a choice the both of you have to make. You both have to agree to continue as friends before anything else. But there are a lot of things to be done before this agreement can be made….
- You both of you would have agreed to the fact that you can’t work as a couple.
- Own up to your mistakes and let bygones be bygones.
- Don’t bring up discussions concerning your past relationships because it could create another spark…. History is likely to repeat itself. (You also have to agree to this too)
If you guys can agree to these facts before actually agreeing to be friends, then it’s fine.
2: Let time do its work:
Don’t try to rush things about being friends with the said person. Let time heal you both, don’t try to force the friendship….if it works then it works, if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t work. You do your part and let Time do its part. You’d end up ruining it or getting hurt again. No one wants to be heartbroken twice!
3: Don’t be clingy:
Now you have to keep reminding yourself that you’re no longer in a relationship with this person, so you’re not as close as you used to be. You would not be able to give long lovely hugs or kisses or cuddles, you’re going to be the normal girl that you be with every other guy, and only giving hugs like a normal friend and not a lover. The comfort of a friend and a lover is quite different so know your boundaries.
4: Know your boundaries:
I had to make this outline to buttress the point made in No 3. You’re trying to continue something you both had from the start “Friendship” and that is what you should work it. Setting boundaries would actually help to reduce the awkward moments and you guys can freely befriend….You can talk, also go on outings with other friends. So that history doesn’t repeat itself. Most times the cause of every broken relationship would also matter if you’re trying to continue as friends.
Now you’ve seen what to do if you want to continue a broken relationship as friends. So let’s see the Hos and the When.
How and when do you make that agreement?
How and when do you let time do its work?
How and when can you not be clingy?
How and when can you set boundaries?
ALSO, READ 10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You
1: Now, how to make the agreement is having a serious conversation between you and that person. During that conversation, you both have to pour your hearts out about how you feel in that situation or the situation that led to the break-up…. During this conversation, bringing up past and present incidents should be adopted and used. This way you both would be able to know where your incompatibility lies before making that decision.
2: Letting time do its work is taking things slow. Don’t try to force outings, don’t try to make things move faster than it already is. Don’t try to make decisions like you’re a couple. Don’t get too carried away by the vibe that person is giving you…. Remember friends can talk about anything….but it doesn’t need to be entirely everything.
3: Being clingy would bring the most awkward moments between the both of you. Both in front of people who know about your breakup and you guys individually. So what you should do is always keep a distance till you guys become comfortable with each other as friends. Just be like every normal friend. Of course, it’s hard, really hard, but it becomes easy after you guys have had the conversation as earlier stated in No 1.
4: Setting the boundaries requires a process of withdrawal. Having an agreement of “this is where we place a stop and this is where is acceptable. That way the both of you can have an enjoyable restart or continuation of who you used to be together!
You can only do all of this if you’re sure about….You only do this when you’ve healed to a certain point. Self-healing is very key. When you’re sure that it’s what you want that’s when you can go on how to be friends with your ex.
If you know you’re reading for the how you must know when!
Being friends with your ex might be hard, in fact, it’s always hard and not always advisable and necessary….but it is attainable. However, there are slim chances to this….So guard your heart!
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