You ended things with them; and now, they are really acting Strange towards you. It could be signs your ex is pretending to be over you when he/she is not. Some Signs you get after a breakup is not something you want to misinterpret regardless of how bad the breakup was.
Once upon a time, things were good between both of you. Because things came to the point of breakup, doesn’t mean you have both moved on. Just because, you called it quits some time ago; doesn’t mean everything that happened between you two, is forever erased.
One of you may just be faking it. Because you are human and once knew this person, there are signs that will point you in that direction.
He may be texting you or behaving in a weird way. And because he/she is just expressing their feelings; it may be confusing to understand.
Also, depending on the reason for the breakup or situation, you may both still come back together or not.
In this article, let’s let clarify one important fact before looking at the 13 observable signs that your
Can Your Ex Pretend To Move On?
Yes! In actual fact, it may be the reason you are reading this article. You probably do not just understand the person’s actions toward you.
According to Ken Page, who is a therapist and relationship expert, “there are different ways people pretend to be over someone, its either they’re lying to themselves, their ex, or other people in their lives”. “They do that because they want to be resilient and it’s terribly hurtful to go through a breakup.”
He added, that it’s not uncommon to try moving on quickly to a place of being over someone. He also explains that on a general note, we are never truly over someone as much as we claim to be.
According to Psychologist and relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., “pretending to oneself is the most common pretending of all”. She also says “I have worked with people who kid themselves into thinking they are over an ex when they really aren’t,” adding that. “Many people don’t want to do the inner work to really be over an ex and simply pretend to have moved on”.
Based on the work of these amazing persons, we can deduce that in fact, many people do pretend to over their ex a lot of times. And it’s more common than we think; it could have even happened to us in the past unknowingly. And also, your ex may just be pretending to be over you.
We all deal with breakups differently. While some are continually in denial; others just let out all the feelings by crying, eating too much, drinking to stupor, and so on. Thus, your ex may just be pretending to be over you to escape reality.
Now let’s get the signs. Beware; they may not show all these signs. However, if they show at least two of these signs, you are right on track.
Here Are 15 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Move On
1. The Signals From Them Is Not Straightforward
This is a sign your ex is pretending to be over you. Because the signals you are getting from becomes very confusing to understand. They show mixed signals, that you find very hard to interpret.
When you ask how they are, they say they are doing very fine; yet they look otherwise. For the guys, his beard may be unshaved, his clothes rumpled, he may reek of alcohol and still tell you he is doing amazingly well.
Or, He may look very sharp and well shaven but with heavy bags under his eyes. You can literarily see exhaustion written over them yet they maintain they are fine.
2. Their Emotions Towards You Are Extreme
This means that everything they feel towards you is heightened. They usually mask the love they have for you; with extreme emotions, like love, hatred, and sadness.
They may not want you to see through their façade so; they hide it, by exhibiting something entirely different. And because they have not moved on, they will eventually show you these extreme emotions.
3. They’re Drunk Dialing You
There is a very clear indication, that they are not over you yet; and only pretending. Drunk dialing can be very annoying; because they’re not even totally aware of it.
But, because they are thinking about you; the first person that comes to their mind to ring in that state is you. It’s now totally dependent on you; if you want to take the call.
4. They’re Drinking A Lot.
Even if normally, the person drinks, it is intensified after your breakup. And even after time has passed, they’re still drinking.
People drink for various reasons; but in their case, it’s to escape the reality, that you are not in the picture anymore. Because of the hurt and sadness, they will try to drown all these feelings in alcohol. Which is why he will drunk dial you.
5. They Keep Trying To Explain The Breakup.
If all he does, when he calls, is to keep explaining the reasons for the break; then, he is still hooked. He keeps dissecting and explaining why he left.
Even when it doesn’t make sense, he keeps talking about it. This means, he is still in denial and has not fully understood it yet. So he can’t even move on.
6. They Want To Remains Friends
This can be very tricky. It could be their way of trying to get you back; or, their way of escape losing you.
So, they are still there; whenever you call on them and are still friends with you. They may not be ready to lose you totally yet.
So, this way they can still have you around. Usually, when this occurs they still want to be more than friends but are more subtle about it.
7. They Stay In Touch With Your Friends
If they are not pretending to be over you, they have no reason to keep in touch with your friends. Except, it’s for business or something of much importance.
So, if they are still calling and having long talks with your friends then they have not truly cut ties with you. Your ex may be hanging out with your friends with hopes to bump into you.
8. People Around Them Try To Get You To Reconcile
These people are around him and they see his state. Thus, they will naturally try to help him. They try to convince you to check upon him.
They know he is not over you yet, and are probably still devastated by the breakup. So in their own way, they will want to bring you two together again.
If they see you, they’ll urge you to call him to know how he is doing. They may even tell you he misses you.
9. They Are Stalking You On Social Media.
You have broken up; yet, they are the first to like and comment on your picture on social media. It means they are not over you yet and just pretending.
Even if they did it when you two were still together, now it’d be even more serious. He doesn’t just like and comment on your posts but he does that as soon as you post them.
10. They’re Refusing To Date Someone Else
If they are refusing to date someone else; even after so much time has passed, they are have not moved on. The excuse they give is usually unrealistic and vague.
Like how they are taking time to love themselves or how they are working on themselves.
There are two reasons they may be doing this, it’s either they are still healing from the breakup or they hope to still get back together with you.
11. They’re Not Sticking To One Person
They are just hopping from one person to another; and, not staying faithful to one person. Today you see them with Tracy, tomorrow it’s Linda.
Meanwhile, when you two were together, they were committed to you. Something is definitely wrong with them. They are not over you just yet.
12. They Still Maintain Contact Even When It’s Not Necessary
Although, they do not have to be in contact with you; yet, they will still call once in a while to check up on you. The reason is simple, it is because they miss you.
This is a very obvious sign’ your ex is pretending to be over you. He won’t just stay off the radar; he will call and send messages when he feels like.
13. They Show Off Their Accomplishment
They are not over you if they are showing off their improvement in your face. You don’t need to know what they have achieved.
No one actually parades their growth, in front of people they don’t care about. His reasons may be in two ways; either he is trying to get you jealous and regret the break-up or he wants you to see his growth and see that he is improving
They Don’t alter Their Schedule and keep running into you.
If your ex has moved on, they will adjust their schedule to avoid awkward moments when they run into you. Rather they maintain the same schedules you are used to in hopes to run into you. They may come with another girl just to get you jealous or they may genuinely just want to see you.
14. They don’t let you get your things and even leave theirs behind.
Are they still holding on to a shirt of yours even after a lot of time has passed? Did they refuse to come to get some of their things left at your place?
It’s not the things that are that valuable to them; they just holding on to it for sentimental reasons. Because they probably miss you. They may even be waiting for you to come to get it so they can spend time with you. People who hope to get back together after a breakup have not really moved on.
15. They are refusing to publicly acknowledge the breakup
It’s because your ex has not moved on so they are still holding on. They will refuse to admit that you are gone because to them, you will still get together. If someone asks them they will rather say you guys are having a misunderstanding rather than you have broken up. On their social media, they will not change their relationship status. They are obviously struggling to let you go.
In the end, what matters is what you want for yourself. They may be showing any of these signs, good or bad but you still get to choose your next step. Either to take them back or break it off completely. So be sure to make the best decision for yourself since you don’t really know what their motive will be if you allow them back into your life,
ALSO, READ 10 Early Signs Of An Insecure Man
How To Break Up With A Married Man With Ease
You tapped on this post because you’re in a situation like this and you feel guilty for dating another woman’s husband or you’re just tired of the relationship. But here’s the thing, you want to get out and you don’t know how to. So let’s press play and start this journey together. Do you want to know how to break up with a married man?…… SOLUTION AWAY!
Now a lot of women out there get into relationships like this for reasons best known to them and because of those reasons they don’t see how unreasonable it is, literally, logically basically, and practically unreasonable. But you tapped this post because you already see that it’s unreasonable and you just can’t keep up with it.
Here’s the good news, you’re halfway through the solution.
Now breaking up with a married man would require the following procedures:
8 Sure way to Break Up with a Married Man
1: Put God first:
This is the most essential part of making any decision in life even something as ‘Sinful’ as this. Basically it is called adultery, so you’re committing a sin with a married man, Even though the sin is more on the man, you’d still be seen as a partaker of it. Remember a sin is a sin, and when you’re involved you have committed a sin.
Now how do you put God first?
Prayers: Daily communication with God enhances your relationship with him, your frequent communication with him yields faster results than leaning on your own understanding.
God would always accept you, so despite the fact that you’ve done something as “bad” as this, he’d still draw you close.
“For I will be merciful to their iniquities,
And I will remember their sins no more.”
God would accept you the way you are, so you wouldn’t have to worry
For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
Yep! That’s just self explanatory. Accepting Christ is the reconciliation, so pray and build relationship with Jesus himself
Reading and meditation of the word: While you build your relationship through prayers , read your Bible.
Without these two things you haven’t put God first. But you also have to come to the understanding that God would accept you!
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Even though the man doesn’t see how wrong it is, be the first to make that move, do the right thing. You basically don’t belong together, if you are a Christian, what relationship does your righteousness have with such lawlessness?
These are questions you must ask yourself
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Make the man know this. His lust/love for you shouldn’t be in the picture if he claims to truly love his wife. It is God’s commandment and he must follow it.
Read through the rest of the bible verses and drop your questions in the comments zone.
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:39
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
And said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Read your Bible on a daily basis, pray, and always communicate with God your solution comes quicker that way.
After putting God first, The “how” and the “When” comes in.
How and when do you break up with a married man
2: Do a reality check
Face reality, he’s not the one for you, you’d always be a mistress to him, you’re only needed when he needs you and not when you need him. You have no true emotional support, you’d still be left alone to live for life on your own. Your only usefulness is quench is sexual urge or desire.
3: Become independent
Most women go into relationships like this because you feel like that’s what you deserve, to be pampered and showered money when you want or need it. You feel you should have everything on a platter of gold, but think about this properly you can make that money on your own and even more. All you have to do is believe in yourself that you can do it without the help of any man. Say daily affirmations to yourself everyday, encourage yourself. Stop blaming yourself for whatever guilt you have and own up to it. Face your mistakes and fix it. Start up a business of your own. Save up some money. You can become successful without the help of a Married Man!
4: Try to scare him off
Now testing a man’s love for his wife or the fear of losing his married is quite easy. This is where the intellect comes in. Try the pregnancy scare. Tell him you’re pregnant. His reaction would determine your next action. Not all men would accept it and some men would also accept. If he doesn’t accept it, that’s your cue to leave! Now if he accepts it that means you have to work with option B. Ask him to file a divorce with his wife. Trust me, no man would want to lose his marriage to a woman he barely loves.
In rare cases, the man might want to file the divorce. So just go straight to the point!
5: Tell his wife
This would actually be the best thing to do it trying to scare him off doesn’t work, tell his wife. Telling his wife does two things in one
- Clearing the feeling of guilt that you have: This would make you free. It’s the truth so it would always set you free, you’d feel the burden lifted of your shoulders.
- The fact that his children might hate you: While doing a reality check, you’d find out that if you end up getting married to that man, his children might hate you for life. Trust me if a child hates you, you’d barely survive in that house. So telling the wife actually saves you the stress.
6: Seek Counsel
You can talk to your best friend about it, or someone you trust, or an older person that might have had such experience or even a mother figure in your life. Talking about it with someone would also go a long way in relieving you from that feeling of guilt
7: Cut ties
At this point breaking up with him would be very easy. Tell him how you really feel about the whole situation then let him go his way and find yours.
8: Get yourself back
Build back that standard for yourself. Make yourself happy again. Channel your mind to finding love when the time is right and work on getting yourself back.
Breaking up with a married man may not be an easy process, but the result is what really matters. You can get out of such a relationship, just acknowledge that it’s a problem and work towards the outline given above. You can get yourself back. You can be happier. And your happiness is what really.
ALSO, READ 10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You
10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You
Being in love is a beautiful thing and being loved back by your partner is the best feeling ever. You would never want to lose such a beautiful relationship, however, never say never.
You should understand that not all relationships lead to a happy ending as a lot of them end in premium tears. Break-ups in relationships are inevitable especially when your partner is not committed to the relationship. Being dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend can be so devastating and the most painful feeling that you can experience in your life. After a breakup, you will begin to wonder what went wrong in the relationship and you will have many unanswered questions. Some of the frequent questions running through your head might be if your partner has really moved on or if he/she regrets dumping you.
For the latter, you begin to look out for signs that show your ex regrets dumping you. Now let’s take a look at 10 common signs to be wary of:
10 SIGNS YOUR EX REGRETS DUMPING YOU
1. They keep communication alive.
“They say out of sight is out of mind”. However, the ex that claims to be over you still has you in mind if he or she keeps communication alive by constantly sending unsolicited texts to you. They will always initiate communication with you and ask all sorts of personal questions so as to get you talking. This may indicate that they are not truly over you and might want you back.
In cases where it may have been a while since he/she dumped you, but out of the blues, you begin to receive texts regularly from your ex asking about your well-being and all that may indicate he/she wants you back.
Either way, they still care about you and feel some sort of regret for dumping you. It may be a sign you’re about to get back together.
ALSO, READ Signs, You Are Not Ready to Date
2 . They always want to hang out with you.
Dude, you just dumped me, yet you are seeking my attention! This is one of the best signs your ex regrets dumping you. Your ex simply still misses you and derives some sort of happiness from being around you. His/her feelings for you are still intact and might think about you often.
So if your ex shows a sign of wanting to always hang out with you, perhaps, they are looking for the right moment to tell you they are still interested in the relationship.
3. They apologize for dumping you.
When your ex finally realizes his/her mistake for breaking up with you and how to hurt you must have been, they will apologize to you. This is because they obviously regret dumping you and would want to have you back in their life.
4. They can’t stop keeping tabs on you.
When your ex begins to ask about your private life from your friends and keeps talking about you trying to know who you’re dating next, then that’s a sign of regret for dumping you.
They are always the first to like or comment on any post you make on your social media platforms even when you shut them out of your page. This obviously indicates he/she regrets the decision of dumping you.
5. They become extremely nice and more caring than before.
When an ex suddenly becomes more loving and caring towards you after dumping you, he/she probably regrets breaking up with you. Perhaps, they are trying to get back to you by being loving and affectionate even more than they did when you were still dating. They begin to shower you with so many gifts and love to show how remorseful they were for breaking up with you.
When you notice this, it is a good sign that your ex regrets dumping you and cares about your feelings.
6. They keep talking about the happy memories you guys had.
This is another good sign that your ex regrets dumping you when they are reminiscing the good times you had together. They begin to remember how you both made a great team together and realize it was actually a bad decision letting you go.
So if you hear your ex still talking about the best memories you had together and share them with you, it could possibly mean he/she misses you and would still want to create more positive memories with you.
ALSO, READ SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION
7. They suddenly got dumped too.
Yes, your ex can get rejected too by another person and will probably regret dumping you. They will understand that you actually loved them more, you wanted them to be happy and supported them in their worse moments. Right there, they will regret treating you badly and miss your love for them. They will realize that they lost something that meant a lot to them and would probably want to run back to you.
So if your ex lacks the courage to work through his/her current difficulties, it might indicate regrets for dumping you.
8. They are feeling depressed and lonely.
This is not a feeling that comes immediately after they break up with you; rather, it is a gradual process. At first, they might feel in control and experience this feeling of freedom and power from the decision of dumping you. However, after a few weeks, they will inevitably feel the loneliness and depression that accompanies a breakup.
When loneliness sets in, they begin to reminisce on the wonderful memories with you and a sense of regret from dumping you start setting in. Although an ex might move on and be happy when this doesn’t happen, then he/she is obviously regretting the decision.
9. They can’t stop flirting with you.
Flirting is a sign of attraction and when an ex still flirts with you; it means they are still fascinated by you. The attraction and attachment were never lost and they regret not being romantically involved with you.
10. They beg you for another chance.
This is most likely to happen when an ex regrets their decision for dumping you and it is also your decision to accept the plea or move on. When an ex still loves you, then they will look for any means to get you back.
When you observe these signs from your ex, it indicates your ex still loves you and might want you back. But don’t be in a haste to take him back, I know this might seem difficult especially when you still love your ex a lot. let them woo you again and fight for you so that you will be valued more. If you make it easy, your ex might just end up taking you for granted again.
How To Spoil Your Man (Experts Advice)
It feels so good to be showered with love, care, and attention, you know that feeling when your man spoils you with gifts and surprises.
Everyone loves the idea of being spoilt, it’s not meant for a particular gender.
Women rarely think of how to spoil their men or make them feel loved. If you are among the few women thinking of how to treat your man right then you are very close to winning his heart forever. Men also need to be loved and cared for, they need our attention too, it mustn’t be all about us.
Generally, women are used to being loved and cared for by their men and they feel to realize that they also need that tender care from their women.
You don’t need to wait for a special event before you show him some love. You can surprise him with a lovely gift, a love note, or even a surprise dinner for just the two of you. Men also crave these things, you shouldn’t always expect to receive love and care but learn to extend it to them.
If you have been thinking of how to make your man feel special and loved or you want to communicate how much you love him, then below are some useful tips on how to spoil your boyfriend.
Best ways on how to spoil your man (12 Proven Tips)
1. Give him a massage
A massage will make a great deal for him especially when he just returns from the day’s activity. Men love the soft tender touch of a woman, it relieves them of their stress having you around makes them forget how stressful and tiring their day went.
ALSO, READ How to make a guy fall in love with you
2. Suprise him with his favorite home-cooked meal
There is a saying that, the easiest way to a man’s heart is his stomach. This adage is still working. if you want to please your man, prepare his favorite meal by yourself. Men love the taste of home meals. Eating out is great, but you can never measure the joy in a man’s heart when he eats the food prepared by his WOMAN for him.
3. Send him unexpected text messages
Sending messages shouldn’t be left for men to do alone, you know how you feel when you just receive a love text message from your man. That feeling of love that flows like an electric current, which makes you happy all day.
You should also do so, let him have that same feeling. You can send him while at work or even when he is sitting on the couch focused on the newspaper.
4. Spoil him with random gifts.
Men also love gifts, the fact that they rarely mention it doesn’t mean they don’t value or appreciate it when you buy them a gift. It will be nice if you buy your man a gift, especially something he has been craving for; this single act will make him love you more.
You must not wait till his birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas to buy him a gift. let your gift come unexpectedly, it will be more appreciated.
Give him a valuable gift and tell him how much he means to you. Let him know you cherish every moment spent with him.
5. Leave him a Love Note
Leaving love notes triggers his emotions, which indicates he is always on your mind. It could be on the stairs, in his briefcase or suit pocket, wherever that seems right to you; Just make it brief and romantic. Here are some samples of a romantic love letter to keep for him.
6. Buy him flowers.
The idea of buying flowers has been thought to be for women alone, flowers depict love; so it’s not a gender thing. Get your man some beautiful lovely flowers with a nice fragrance, you will have him all around you.
ALSO, READ Cute Paragraphs For Him After An Argument
7. Plan a date night
Wow! A date night doesn’t sound romantic, sure it does. Just imagine what it will look like when your man comes back from the day’s work and he meets you all dressed for dinner, with the table set with different dishes. It will be a very wonderful scene to behold.
You can also plan an outside date, it mustn’t be an in-door date, it could be in a nice restaurant, just make the dinner romantic, let the moment be memorable and remarkable.
8. Give him compliments
Just as women love to be flattered and complimented, men also love to be complimented, it triggers their “Hero instincts”. It shows that you appreciate them and you love them the way they are without having any reservations.
9. Plan a surprise
A surprise event can actually do in this case, it could be a surprise party for his birthday, your marriage anniversary or to celebrate his promotion. This will mean alot to him.
10. Take care of his laundry
This is a rare task, these days you rarely see women washing their husband’s clothes. So doing his laundry simply means you care about him and his looks and you want him to always be at his best. do his laundry and make him happy, it really means alot to them to see their women taking care of their personal belongings.
11. Plan a romantic weekend getaway.
This is an opportunity for the two of you to be together, having a quality time alone to bond and make up for the times lost. It must not be work always.
plan for a vacation or a weekend and enjoy the best of the moment.
12. Go on a mini road trip.
A mini trip is just like a short vacation or a short-distance trip to rekindle your love and ease you guys of the stress from your daily activities. It mustn’t be an expensive trip, the most important thing is the bonding and quality time spent together.
13. Get the ingredients for a new recipe and cook dinner together.
Go to the market and get some new recipes to prepare a nice dinner, you too can cook the food together, this is one of the most wonderful moments. The last time I did this with my husband he was so happy and he wished we do it often.
14. Watch the sunset.
Have you ever watched a movie where two lovers sit together holding hands or cuddle each other watching the sunset? You observe the vibe and the beautiful romance in that picture, try and practice the same with your man. It is a moment for you guys to feel each other and express your love for each other.
15. Spend the day together with your phones turned off.
Our phones and other personal gadgets can distract us and make us distant from our partners. These days, couples rarely have time for each other because of social media.
Try spending time together with your phones off, to avoid distractions and keep you away from your partner. The more time you spend together the closer you guys become and the stronger your love for each other.
A little more piece
Spoiling a man doesn’t make you look cheap or desperate for his love and attention. The more you care for him, the closer you are to his heart his love for you increases. It’s nice to reciprocate the gesture he shows towards you as well.
Men wish to be loved too and pampered, treat them like your hero, your baby, and your partner. The love we desire from them is also what they desire.
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