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Love & Dating

10 Early Signs Of An Insecure Man

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Early Signs Of An Insecure Man

Being in a relationship with an insecure man is like a time bomb. It will eventually explode and when it does, you may not be able to take it.

Regardless of how amazing the relationship is, if the man is insecure, it will become toxic. Being with an insecure man leads to a toxic relationship which also leads to an unhealthy relationship.

There are some really good guys out there who would make really great partners if they weren’t insecure. They will dote on their partner big time and make her feel like a princess; however, the deal-breaker is their insecurity.

An insecure guy lacks confidence and doubts his own ability. He has little or no confidence in his own relationship. So, he is not sure if his partner likes him.

His doubts are what breeds his insecurities and he acts on them. Initially, everything will be going really well. Then, things will go sour when his adoration becomes an obsession and his attention turns possessive.

You have to always reassure such a partner and that can be quite sickening. It will take your time, effort, and a whole lot of energy to do that. You deserve better than that.

Unfortunately, these men are everywhere so it is important to know the signs to look out for to make discernment easier. Here they are…

How To Tell If A Man Is Insecure About Himself

1. He Says “I Love You” Right Away.

One of the very first glaring signs of an insecure man is that he is very quick to say “I love you” at the very initial stage of the relationship. He is very quick to profess his undying love as early as the second or even first date.

We all know it’s possible to have a huge crush on someone at first sight or even like them. But it takes a longer time to know a person enough to love them.

Another thing with an insecure guy is that he pressures you to say it back. He is telling you he loves you soon after you met and though you have not comprehended it yet, he wants you to say it back.

You just met him yet you are already his world, the center of his universe, his everything, his purpose for being alive. That’s just absurd

2. He Is Jealous Of Everyone Around You Including Your Friends.

jealous man

Just how high can jealousy get if your partner is jealous of your friends? That’s not even healthy. You can’t have other people around you aside from him.

He restricts your interaction with your friends, co-workers, and every other person aside from himself. He would get really mad if you spend time with your friends, our hangout with your colleagues.

It’s even worse when it’s with the opposite sex; he would flare up and even throw tantrums like a child. He is always checking up on you, calling and texting all day.

At first, all these may feel really good and you may find it cute; but later, it will become overbearing and stuffy you could barely breathe.

He will follow you everywhere if he can; he wants to be your shadow. When he calls, he is less bothered about how you are. But, more bothered about where you are. Your presence with other persons upset him.

3. He Is Always Asking For Reassurance.

He is always asking you if you love him and why you love him. And he does this on a regular basis. Asking if you love him 3 times a day is not what a normal guy does. Only an insecure guy doubts the girl that likes him.

If he can’t even believe that you love him then just how much of what you say can he believe. He is always in constant denial that you do not love him so he requires constant validation.

He is always out for compliments. And when you do give these compliments, he still doubts it.

4. He Wants To Always Be In-Charge.

He exercises a high level of authority in the relationship. He is controlling and he is always in charge.

It almost seems like you are in a military relationship with the commands going around. “You mustn’t do this”, “you can’t do that”, “I forbid you to go there” and so many others. He’s literally an alpha male.

He is definitely insecure if he is attacking your self-esteem because of his own esteem issues. Your self-esteem should not be lowered for anybody especially not the one you call a partner who ought to help you raise it.

It is important to note that people who show this trait are likely to be abusive later. Even if it is physical abuse, it could be mental.

ALSO, READ How To Tell If A Guy Is A Player or a Womanizer

5. He Talks Down Anyone Doing Better Than Him.

An insecure guy doesn’t know how to handle rejection. Thus, he does it the wrong way and throws tantrums.

This guy is a sore loser. When he falls in a situation or fails, he doesn’t know how to stand up dust himself, and re-launch. If he is in a competition and he loses, he’ll conclude that other competitors cheated.

He is constantly putting other people down by his words and actions. He is a serial blame shifter and nothing is ever his fault.

You definitely deserve better than that. The funny thing is that this also applies to you. You just can’t outshine him even if you can way better, you have to dull your shine for him.

6. He’s On And On About His Exes And Their Shortcomings

Actually, there is nothing wrong with him telling you about his exes once in a while. But, when it becomes a regular topic it becomes really weird.

Not only does he bring them up often he also talks about how they are all bad and cheated on him.

None of his previous breakups was ever slightly his fault. He is always the victim and none of them really loved; he may even go “cry baby” on you when talking about it.

While this may be true, insecure people are always playing the victim card on their partners. This is because you feel since they are the victim, you should sympathize with them and never hurt them or leave them.

Even when the relationship becomes toxic you still remain with him. And when you guys met a full stop in your relationship and break up, his world falls apart. So you have ruined his world and you are the bad guy.

7. He Doesn’t Keep Friends Or Indulge In Any Hobbies/Interests

An extremely insecure guy has almost nothing on in his life except his relationship. No friends, interests, hobbies, or sports; nothing at all.

Aside his career which is his job; you are career number 2 so his focus is one you.

He becomes an attention freak because when his not with you, he is at work or at home thinking about you.

He should get life first before bringing you into the life. You may enjoy the attention at first but it will eventually become chocking.

8.He Suspects There Is Something Between You And Your Partner

Regardless of how much you try to convince him that you are over your ex, he doesn’t take it. He thinks you still have him.

Even if your previous breakup was a really hard one, he doesn’t mind reminding you. Though he knows how much it hurts you going down that memory lane.

He is so insecure that he feels you could offer more in the relationship if not because you still love ex.

Another level of this, is if he knows your body count is more than his. Oh! He will get mad and flip out.

I mean, it’s your past! You can’t possibly go back and undo it. He will do same if he finds out you earn more than he does. If your financial strength scares him then he doesn’t deserve you.

9.He Is A Show-Off

He just won’t be quiet about his car, his mansion and his achievements. He is a sucker for attention and has this “Notice-me” attitude.

Always showing off his career achievements and physique. Flexing his muscles and every conversation is about him.

And this makes you feel that he’s out for attention then kindly leave him alone. He is obviously a “princess” and that’s probably all he has to offer.

As if that is not enough, he brags about the size of penis all the time and his conquests regularly. He also talks about how “bad” or “freaky” the girls were. That is really disgusting and may not even be true.

You can’t possibly organize an interview with ladies he has been with so he could just be making things up.

10.He Is Always Looking Through Your Phone. Detective Partner

He is out for evidence though you have not given him any reason to doubt you. You get a text and he is looking over your shoulder.

While may be courteous enough to ask who you texting other just out rightly demand for your phone. He always thinks you are hiding something and when you don’t give him access to your phone he just concludes that you are cheating.

When you step out to take a call, he concludes you are definitely cheating even if it was coincidence that you had to go out when the call came in. He queries your saved contacts. He is like “why do you have so many male contacts?”

That’s not how to care for someone. So, don’t translate it as caring about you. If you continue like that, he will go the extreme length by dictate who you can and cannot call. So before then, kindly take a bow.

Wrapping Up

Your case may not show all of the signs above but if he shows up to three (3) of them, then you should not indulge such a person. Your esteem, mental health and life is more important than that, and always remember you deserve the best.

ALSO, READ 15 Beautiful Excuses To Get Out Of A Date When It’s Too Cold To Leave The House

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Love & Dating

How To Break Up With A Married Man With Ease

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how to break up with a married man

You tapped on this post because you’re in a situation like this and you feel guilty for dating another woman’s husband or you’re just tired of the relationship. But here’s the thing, you want to get out and you don’t know how to. So let’s press play and start this journey together. Do you want to know how to break up with a married man?…… SOLUTION AWAY!

Now a lot of women out there get into relationships like this for reasons best known to them and because of those reasons they don’t see how unreasonable it is, literally, logically basically, and practically unreasonable. But you tapped this post because you already see that it’s unreasonable and you just can’t keep up with it.

Here’s the good news, you’re halfway through the solution.

Now breaking up with a married man would require the following procedures:

8 Sure way to Break Up with a Married Man

1: Put God first:

This is the most essential part of making any decision in life even something as ‘Sinful’ as this. Basically it is called adultery, so you’re committing a sin with a married man, Even though the sin is more on the man, you’d still be seen as a partaker of it. Remember a sin is a sin, and when you’re involved you have committed a sin.

Now how do you put God first?

Prayers: Daily communication with God enhances your relationship with him, your frequent communication with him yields faster results than leaning on your own understanding.

 

God would always accept you, so despite the fact that you’ve done something as “bad” as this, he’d still draw you close.

 

Hebrews 8:12

 

“For I will be merciful to their iniquities,

And I will remember their sins no more.”

God would accept you the way you are, so you wouldn’t have to worry

Romans 5:10

 

For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.

 

Yep! That’s just self explanatory. Accepting Christ is the reconciliation, so pray and build relationship with Jesus himself

 

Reading and meditation of the word: While you build your relationship through prayers , read your Bible.

 

Without these two things you haven’t put God first. But you also have to come to the understanding that God would accept you!

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Even though the man doesn’t see how wrong it is, be the first to make that move, do the right thing. You basically don’t belong together, if you are a Christian, what relationship does your righteousness have with such lawlessness?

These are questions you must ask yourself

Ephesians 5:33

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Make the man know this. His lust/love for you shouldn’t be in the picture if he claims to truly love his  wife. It is God’s commandment and he must follow it.

Read through the rest of the bible verses and drop your questions in the comments zone.

Malachi 2:16

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:39

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Matthew 19:5

And said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

Genesis 2:18

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

1 Corinthians 7:9

But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Read your Bible on a daily basis, pray, and always communicate with God your solution comes quicker that way.

After putting God first, The “how” and the “When” comes in.

How and when do you break up with a married man

2: Do a reality check

Face reality, he’s not the one for you, you’d always be a mistress to him, you’re only needed when he needs you and not when you need him. You have no true emotional support, you’d still be left alone to live for life on your own. Your only usefulness is quench is sexual urge or desire.

3: Become independent

Most women go into relationships like this because you feel like that’s what you deserve, to be pampered and showered money when you want or need it. You feel you should have everything on a platter of gold, but think about this properly you can make that money on your own and even more. All you have to do is believe in yourself that you can do it without the help of any man. Say daily affirmations to yourself everyday, encourage yourself. Stop blaming yourself for whatever guilt you have and own up to it. Face your mistakes and fix it. Start up a business of your own. Save up some money. You can become successful without the help of a Married Man!

4: Try to scare him off

Now testing a man’s love for his wife or the fear of losing his married is quite easy. This is where the intellect comes in. Try the pregnancy scare. Tell him you’re pregnant. His reaction would determine your next action. Not all men would accept it and some men would also accept. If he doesn’t accept it, that’s your cue to leave!  Now if he accepts it that means you have to work with option B. Ask him to file a divorce with his wife. Trust me, no man would want to lose his marriage to a woman he barely loves.

In rare cases, the man might want to file the divorce. So just go straight to the point!

5: Tell his wife

This would actually be the best thing to do it trying to scare him off doesn’t work, tell his wife. Telling his wife does two things in one

  • Clearing the feeling of guilt that you have: This would make you free. It’s the truth so it would always set you free, you’d feel the burden lifted of your shoulders.
  • The fact that his children might hate you: While doing a reality check, you’d find out that if you end up getting married to that man, his children might hate you for life. Trust me if a child hates you, you’d barely survive in that house. So telling the wife actually saves you the stress.

6: Seek Counsel

You can talk to your best friend about it, or someone you trust, or an older person that might have had such experience or even a mother figure in your life. Talking about it with someone would also go a long way in relieving you from that feeling of guilt

7: Cut ties

At this point breaking up with him would be very easy. Tell him how you really feel about the whole situation then let him go his way and find yours.

8: Get yourself back

Build back that standard for yourself. Make yourself happy again. Channel your mind to finding love when the time is right and work on getting yourself back.

In conclusion

Breaking up with a married man may not be an easy process, but the result is what really matters. You can get out of such a relationship, just acknowledge that it’s a problem and work towards the outline given above. You can get yourself back. You can be happier. And your happiness is what really.

ALSO, READ 10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You

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Love & Dating

10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You

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signs your ex regrets dumping you

Being in love is a beautiful thing and being loved back by your partner is the best feeling ever. You would never want to lose such a beautiful relationship, however, never say never.

You should understand that not all relationships lead to a happy ending as a lot of them end in premium tears. Break-ups in relationships are inevitable especially when your partner is not committed to the relationship. Being dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend can be so devastating and the most painful feeling that you can experience in your life. After a breakup, you will begin to wonder what went wrong in the relationship and you will have many unanswered questions. Some of the frequent questions running through your head might be if your partner has really moved on or if he/she regrets dumping you.

For the latter, you begin to look out for signs that show your ex regrets dumping you. Now let’s take a look at 10 common signs to be wary of:

10 SIGNS YOUR EX REGRETS DUMPING YOU

1. They keep communication alive.

“They say out of sight is out of mind”. However, the ex that claims to be over you still has you in mind if he or she keeps communication alive by constantly sending unsolicited texts to you. They will always initiate communication with you and ask all sorts of personal questions so as to get you talking. This may indicate that they are not truly over you and might want you back.

In cases where it may have been a while since he/she dumped you, but out of the blues, you begin to receive texts regularly from your ex asking about your well-being and all that may indicate he/she wants you back.

Either way, they still care about you and feel some sort of regret for dumping you. It may be a sign you’re about to get back together.

 ALSO, READ Signs, You Are Not Ready to Date

2 . They always want to hang out with you. 

Dude, you just dumped me, yet you are seeking my attention! This is one of the best signs your ex regrets dumping you. Your ex simply still misses you and derives some sort of happiness from being around you. His/her feelings for you are still intact and might think about you often.

So if your ex shows a sign of wanting to always hang out with you, perhaps, they are looking for the right moment to tell you they are still interested in the relationship.

3. They apologize for dumping you.

they apologies

When your ex finally realizes his/her mistake for breaking up with you and how to hurt you must have been, they will apologize to you. This is because they obviously regret dumping you and would want to have you back in their life. 

4. They can’t stop keeping tabs on you.

When your ex begins to ask about your private life from your friends and keeps talking about you trying to know who you’re dating next, then that’s a sign of regret for dumping you.

They are always the first to like or comment on any post you make on your social media platforms even when you shut them out of your page. This obviously indicates he/she regrets the decision of dumping you.

5. They become extremely nice and more caring than before. 

When an ex suddenly becomes more loving and caring towards you after dumping you, he/she probably regrets breaking up with you. Perhaps, they are trying to get back to you by being loving and affectionate even more than they did when you were still dating. They begin to shower you with so many gifts and love to show how remorseful they were for breaking up with you.

When you notice this, it is a good sign that your ex regrets dumping you and cares about your feelings.

6. They keep talking about the happy memories you guys had.

This is another good sign that your ex regrets dumping you when they are reminiscing the good times you had together. They begin to remember how you both made a great team together and realize it was actually a bad decision letting you go.

So if you hear your ex still talking about the best memories you had together and share them with you, it could possibly mean he/she misses you and would still want to create more positive memories with you.

ALSO, READ SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION

7. They suddenly got dumped too.

Yes, your ex can get rejected too by another person and will probably regret dumping you. They will understand that you actually loved them more, you wanted them to be happy and supported them in their worse moments. Right there, they will regret treating you badly and miss your love for them. They will realize that they lost something that meant a lot to them and would probably want to run back to you.

So if your ex lacks the courage to work through his/her current difficulties, it might indicate regrets for dumping you.

8. They are feeling depressed and lonely. 

they feel depressed

This is not a feeling that comes immediately after they break up with you; rather, it is a gradual process. At first, they might feel in control and experience this feeling of freedom and power from the decision of dumping you. However, after a few weeks, they will inevitably feel the loneliness and depression that accompanies a breakup.

When loneliness sets in, they begin to reminisce on the wonderful memories with you and a sense of regret from dumping you start setting in. Although an ex might move on and be happy when this doesn’t happen, then he/she is obviously regretting the decision.

9. They can’t stop flirting with you.  

 Flirting is a sign of attraction and when an ex still flirts with you; it means they are still fascinated by you. The attraction and attachment were never lost and they regret not being romantically involved with you.

10. They beg you for another chance.

This is most likely to happen when an ex regrets their decision for dumping you and it is also your decision to accept the plea or move on. When an ex still loves you, then they will look for any means to get you back.  

Final thoughts

When you observe these signs from your ex, it indicates your ex still loves you and might want you back. But don’t be in a haste to take him back, I know this might seem difficult especially when you still love your ex a lot. let them woo you again and fight for you so that you will be valued more. If you make it easy, your ex might just end up taking you for granted again.

ALSO, READ 10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T DATE YOUR FRIEND’S EX

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Love & Dating

How To Spoil Your Man (Experts Advice)

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HOW TO SPOIL HIM

It feels so good to be showered with love, care, and attention, you know that feeling when your man spoils you with gifts and surprises.

Everyone loves the idea of being spoilt, it’s not meant for a particular gender.

Women rarely think of how to spoil their men or make them feel loved. If you are among the few women thinking of how to treat your man right then you are very close to winning his heart forever. Men also need to be loved and cared for, they need our attention too, it mustn’t be all about us.

Generally, women are used to being loved and cared for by their men and they feel to realize that they also need that tender care from their women.

You don’t need to wait for a special event before you show him some love. You can surprise him with a lovely gift, a love note, or even a surprise dinner for just the two of you. Men also crave these things, you shouldn’t always expect to receive love and care but learn to extend it to them.

If you have been thinking of how to make your man feel special and loved or you want to communicate how much you love him, then below are some useful tips on how to spoil your boyfriend.

Best ways on how to spoil your man (12 Proven Tips)

1. Give him a massage

A massage will make a great deal for him especially when he just returns from the day’s activity. Men love the soft tender touch of a woman, it relieves them of their stress having you around makes them forget how stressful and tiring their day went.

ALSO, READ How to make a guy fall in love with you

2. Suprise him with his favorite home-cooked meal

COOK FOR YOUR MAN

Cooking for your man is one of the best ways to spoil him

There is a saying that, the easiest way to a man’s heart is his stomach. This adage is still working. if you want to please your man, prepare his favorite meal by yourself. Men love the taste of home meals. Eating out is great, but you can never measure the joy in a man’s heart when he eats the food prepared by his WOMAN for him.

3. Send him unexpected text messages

Sending messages shouldn’t be left for men to do alone, you know how you feel when you just receive a love text message from your man. That feeling of love that flows like an electric current, which makes you happy all day.

You should also do so, let him have that same feeling. You can send him while at work or even when he is sitting on the couch focused on the newspaper.

4. Spoil him with random gifts.

spoil him with random gifts

Men also love gifts, the fact that they rarely mention it doesn’t mean they don’t value or appreciate it when you buy them a gift. It will be nice if you buy your man a gift, especially something he has been craving for; this single act will make him love you more.

You must not wait till his birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas to buy him a gift. let your gift come unexpectedly, it will be more appreciated.

Give him a valuable gift and tell him how much he means to you. Let him know you cherish every moment spent with him.

5. Leave him a Love Note

Leaving love notes triggers his emotions, which indicates he is always on your mind. It could be on the stairs, in his briefcase or suit pocket, wherever that seems right to you; Just make it brief and romantic. Here are some samples of a romantic love letter to keep for him.

6. Buy him flowers.

buy him flowers

The idea of buying flowers has been thought to be for women alone, flowers depict love; so it’s not a gender thing. Get your man some beautiful lovely flowers with a nice fragrance, you will have him all around you.

ALSO, READ Cute Paragraphs For Him After An Argument

7. Plan a date night

Wow! A date night doesn’t sound romantic, sure it does. Just imagine what it will look like when your man comes back from the day’s work and he meets you all dressed for dinner, with the table set with different dishes. It will be a very wonderful scene to behold.

You can also plan an outside date, it mustn’t be an in-door date, it could be in a nice restaurant, just make the dinner romantic, let the moment be memorable and remarkable.

8. Give him compliments

Just as women love to be flattered and complimented, men also love to be complimented, it triggers their “Hero instincts”. It shows that you appreciate them and you love them the way they are without having any reservations.

9. Plan a surprise

A surprise event can actually do in this case, it could be a surprise party for his birthday, your marriage anniversary or to celebrate his promotion. This will mean alot to him.

10. Take care of his laundry

wash his clothes

This is a rare task, these days you rarely see women washing their husband’s clothes. So doing his laundry simply means you care about him and his looks and you want him to always be at his best.  do his laundry and make him happy, it really means alot to them to see their women taking care of their personal belongings.

11. Plan a romantic weekend getaway.

This is an opportunity for the two of you to be together, having a quality time alone to bond and make up for the times lost. It must not be work always.

plan for a vacation or a weekend and enjoy the best of the moment.

12. Go on a mini road trip.

trip22

A mini trip is just like a short vacation or a short-distance trip to rekindle your love and ease you guys of the stress from your daily activities. It mustn’t be an expensive trip, the most important thing is the bonding and quality time spent together.

 

13. Get the ingredients for a new recipe and cook dinner together.

Go to the market and get some new recipes to prepare a nice dinner, you too can cook the food together, this is one of the most wonderful moments. The last time I did this with my husband he was so happy and he wished we do it often.

14. Watch the sunset.

watch the sun set

Have you ever watched a movie where two lovers sit together holding hands or cuddle each other watching the sunset? You observe the vibe and the beautiful romance in that picture, try and practice the same with your man. It is a moment for you guys to feel each other and express your love for each other.

15. Spend the day together with your phones turned off.

Our phones and other personal gadgets can distract us and make us distant from our partners. These days, couples rarely have time for each other because of social media.

Try spending time together with your phones off, to avoid distractions and keep you away from your partner. The more time you spend together the closer you guys become and the stronger your love for each other.

A little more piece

Spoiling a man doesn’t make you look cheap or desperate for his love and attention. The more you care for him, the closer you are to his heart his love for you increases. It’s nice to reciprocate the gesture he shows towards you as well.

Men wish to be loved too and pampered, treat them like your hero, your baby, and your partner. The love we desire from them is also what they desire.

ALSO, READ Get Well Soon Messages, Wishes, and Quotes

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