Last Updated on August 31, 2022 by Joshua Isibor
If you are in the dating window and ready to turn up the heat, you must know how to tell if a guy is a player. And in selecting, you must be very wise about it.
It’s quite vital to know who is a player and the one coming for games. You do not want to go shopping and pick rotten eggs. You should be able to spot them from afar.
Unfortunately, these rotten eggs which we can call players are so plenty in our dating scene today. You have to look well before accepting a guy.
They can be very cunning. This means you have to be even more intelligent to avoid falling into their trap.
Some of them can be very sweet at the beginning. By buying you gifts, and taking you to romantic dates and dinners that will take your breath away.
They want sex and will do anything and go any length to get it. Players have moved, and they don’t hesitate to use it. They’ll charm you if you are not discerning enough to see it coming.
These moves and lines have been used on a lot of ladies. So, they’re quite tested and trusted by them.
One thing that scares players and they will never put their hands in, is COMMITMENT. Commitment is a player’s worst nightmare. So, at the mention of commitment, he is out the window.
Just as in the ancient book; the bible, if you want to separate the wheat from the shaft, check out these signs.
Whether through how they text, or how they converse online/offline. Don’t worry, it’s not rocket science it’s quite easy. If you look out for these signs, you can tell if a guy is a player.
15 Signs He’s a Player
1. He Is In A Rush
A player never wants to take it slow. So, he comes in strong and hurries things.
He wants to take things forward quickly. Not because he loves you so much and doesn’t want to lose. But because he is scared of commitment. He knows that if the relationship progress, he may need to invest more time. Which may lead to investing more resources and emotions.
An online player will start telling you how hot your ass looks or how perfectly figured your body looks. That is obviously not love but lust.
Not undermining the fact that this could be a sign of someone who genuinely loves you but going too fast usually leads to crashing.
2. He Talks More About Himself
When having a conversation with a player, 90% of the talk will be about him. He’ll on and on about himself.
Players are usually more into themselves than others. His career, his hobbies, his desires, his issues, his interest, his…… everything and absolutely nothing about you.
If online, the chats will be about him and even his texts will center on him.
He’s all about himself and your text conversations will tend to be very one-sided when you look back over them objectively.
3. He Doesn’t Care About Your Life.
A guy who is truly interested in you cares about your life. He wants to know you and what’s going on in your life.
This is because he wants to become a part of it. So, he wants to know how he will fit in. A player doesn’t want to stay in your life anyway, so why care about it?
He doesn’t care about your problems. Thus, he doesn’t want to hear about it. Players do not ask personal questions.
Even if you have a 2hours long get-to-know-you conversation. They still won’t ask a personal question and in the end, you realize you do not really know him.
Questions like your family, childhood, ambitions, goals, and dreams will likely never come up.
And these are essential questions; so if he is not asking them, just know he is not really into you and he is a player.
4. His Gives Really General Compliments.
You are blonde with a pair of blue eyes and he says your eyes are blue as the ocean and he’d love to drown. Wow! That’s such a smooth line.
But your eyes are blue! That is so generic and everyone with blue eyes will definitely fit into that.
Players are always like that, they don’t focus all their attention on one woman. Except, she is proving really difficult, and they are dedicated to winning her over.
Most times, they are sending the same text to several other ladies at the same time. And they sometimes just tease you instead of giving a compliment.
Most times you may even feel that his compliments do not apply to you. Because they can be way over-the-top.
Grand compliments like ‘you are my perfect fit and I have been waiting to meet you all my life. That is really weird for someone who you just met, and know even know much about.
He makes a lot of references to the future. Like how your wedding day will be glorious or how beautiful your children will be. And how you all will be going on family holidays and so on.
Those are just vain words, he is only trying to make an illusion about the future. So you’ll think he is a keeper.
5. He Often Forgets What You Tell Him About Yourself.
He will often forget because he wasn’t interested, to begin with. He isn’t interested; therefore, even when he asks out of courtesy or because he is trying to get to you, he will still forget.
A player can act interested when you are talking about yourself but he has an ulterior motive. Once he gets what he is after, it would seem you never existed.
6. He Texts And Calls Only At Night.
This is one of the most obvious signs he is a player. So, you had a long day and already resting to gather enough strength for the next day. But that’s the time he wants to call or text to discuss. If his only reason is that he misses you; and he does this often then you should run sister as soon as you can.
But if he is calling to wish you a good night’s rest then we can’t consider him a player.
7. He Practices Open Relationship And Freely Tells You About It
A man who respects you and wants to make feel special will not tell you he is okay with open relationships. Because he doesn’t want to share with anyone.
Guys who are into open relationships are not ready for commitment. They want to keep you and keep others too.
They don’t really care what you do with other people in your life. The worst of them are the ones who brag about how many ladies they have dated or been with.
That is not just insensible, it’s also disgusting. Who wants to be with someone who has been with half of the ladies in the city?
This is how to tell if a guy is a player because he doesn’t care if his words offend you or not.
8. He Is Not Consistent In Communicating With You
A player is not constant in texting or calling you. This week he is hot, calling or texting or doing both every minute and you feel how much he is interested.
Then he could go cold and you think something happened to him, then suddenly he is hot again. They could wax and wane with their desire.
Players are usually not chasing one lady at a time, so if another lady gives him what he wants, he will be neglected for that period. Until he gets tired of the other lady. If it works keeping him busy, once he has free time he is coming back.
However, if you are a priority, he won’t go cold to you in any situation in life. Rather he will call to let you know what’s up. Text-ghosting can be really annoying but that’s what players pride themselves on. They do it really often.
ALSO, READ 20 signs You’re a Dating a Fuck boy!
9. He Shies Away From Relationship Talks
One of the biggest signs a guy is a player is that he doesn’t talk about his relationship status. Even when you ask him, he is vague about it.
They are the chief of “it complicated”. When you ask if they are in a relationship, they say “forget about that; it’s complicated”.
They never agree they are single or dating. Players like to play it safe by staying in the grey corner or sitting on the fence. Now, when you ask what they want with you, they still remain vague.
A friend of mine named Linda once met a guy named Roy. Roy was amazingly sneaky and all but whenever rose asks what he wants with her; his response was always that he doesn’t know yet. And that, all he knows is he loves her and cannot live without her in his life. Now Roy doesn’t want a relationship, and neither does he want to be just friends.
I’m sure we know what Roy wants. It’s to be friends with benefits and no commitment; that’s a confirmed player.
Players And Sex; The Relationship Between These Two Parties
The way a keeper reacts to sex in a relationship is different from a player’s. A keeper will not mind waiting till you are ready and on your terms.
But a player doesn’t care what you have to say about sex. He wants it and he wants you to give it.
Now let’s examine a few points on how players react to sex.
10. He Is Sexual Even At The Very Early Stages.
After one or two pleasantries, he is already sending a sexy stare your way, a text, or even a sneaky sexy comment.
Now, that is known as testing the waters. He wants to know how you will react to it.
Don’t forget he is a player and has tested this many other girls. Thus, you have to be really wise to know and quickly block it.
If you get mad and tell him not much anymore, he’ll get it that you are not interested and may stop talking to you altogether.
But, if he thinks you are hot enough for the chase, he’ll apologize and use a more creative move next time.
11. He Makes Sex Jokes To Test You.
It may seem like a harmless joke. However, just as mentioned in the previous point, he is just testing the waters.
He wants to see your reaction to the sex topic. The joke may even seem harmless but that is not gentlemanly at all.
A man who respects you and himself should not be making adult jokes on first or second dates. If at all, that should only happen when both of you now have a relationship and it has matured to a certain stage.
12. He Only Reaches Out To You When He Is Horny.
This is a classic movie and should be the oldest in the book. And this majorly happens when you guys have had sex once or more.
So, he only calls you when he needs you to warm his bed. As long as he is not horny, you are not really important.
When his urges beckon on him, he beckons on you. If his excuse for not calling is that he is busy, at that critical moment he suddenly becomes free.
ALSO, READ 7 Tips to Fall Out of Love with Someone
13. In Place Of Personal Questions, He Asks Sexual And Intimate Questions
When he ought to be getting to know you personally, all he is interested in is the sexual aspect of your life. This is so because that is the only he cares about.
He wants both of you to talk about sex so you can get comfortable with the topic around him. Once you are comfortable talking to him about sex, very soon you’ll be comfortable having sex with him.
Matured players don’t really send nudes but they request from you.
14. He Requests For Your Nudes
Yes! He wants to see you naked and just can’t wait. He wants to feed his fantasies about you so he requests sexy pictures and nudes.
And if you don’t send it, you become the bad guy. Players need someone to play with so you become their toys.
You are not in a serious relationship yet and he already wants to build an album with your sexy pictures and nudes. You should run! That is a player.
15. He Is Angry If You Are Sexually Reserved
This only works for the not-so-matured players. Because the mature ones will not give up, but keep trying all the tricks in the book.
If you tell these not-so-matured players that you want to wait till after marriage or that you are not ready; they get annoyed, angry, and may even throw tantrums.
You are the bad guy if you don’t want to get intimate with them. Some may even play the victim card on you. Or the popular “if you love me, you will make love to me”
Players are skilled seducers with lots of accomplishments under their belt. They are specialists who have tried and mastered various seducing, cajoling, and trickery skills over time.
And definitely, a player will show at least two of the signs above. So be wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove. Beware!
ALSO, READ Signs of a controlling boyfriend
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