If you are in the dating window and ready to turn up the heat, you must know how to tell if a guy is a player. And in selecting, you must be very wise about it.
It’s quite vital to know who is a player and the one coming for games. You do not want to go shopping and picking rotten eggs. You should be able to spot them from afar.
Unfortunately, these rotten eggs which we can call players are so plenty in our dating scene today. You have to look well before accepting a guy.
They can be very cunning. This means you have to be even more intelligent to avoid falling into their trap.
Some of them can be very sweet at the beginning. By buying you gifts, taking you to romantic dates and dinners that will take your breath away.
They want sex and will do anything and go any length to get it. Players have moves, and they don’t hesitate to use it. They’ll charm you if you are not discerning enough to see it coming.
These moves and lines have been used on a lot of ladies. So, they’re quite tested and trusted by them.
One thing that scares players and they will never put their hands in, is COMMITMENT. Commitment is a player’s worst nightmare. So, at the mention of commitment, he is out the window.
Just as in the ancient book; the bible, if you want to separate the wheat from the shaft, check out these signs.
Whether through how they text, or how they converse online/offline. Don’t worry, it’s not rocket science it’s quite easy. If you really look out for these signs, you can tell if a guy is a player.
15 Signs He’s a Player
1. He Is In A Rush
A player never wants to take it slow. So, he comes in strong and hurries things.
He wants to take things forward quickly. Not because he loves you so much and doesn’t want to lose. But because he is scared of commitment. He knows that if the relationship progress, he may need to invest more time. Which may lead to investing more resources and emotions.
An online player will start telling you how hot your ass looks or how perfectly figured your body looks. That obviously not love but lust.
Not undermining the fact that this could be a sign of someone who genuinely loves you but going too fast usually leads to crashing.
2. He Talks More About Himself
When having a conversation with a player, 90% of the talks will be about him. He’ll on and on about himself.
Players are usually more into themselves than others. His career, his hobbies, his desires, his issues, his interest, his…… everything and absolutely nothing about you.
If online, the chats will be about him and even his texts will center on him.
He’s all about himself and your text conversations will tend to be very one-sided when you look back over them objectively.
3. He Doesn’t Care About Your Life.
A guy who is truly interested in you cares about your life. He wants to know you and what’s going on in your life.
This is because he wants to become a part of it. So, he wants to know how he will fit in. A player doesn’t want to stay in your life anyway, so why care about it.
He doesn’t care about your problems. Thus, he doesn’t want to hear about it. Players do not ask personal questions.
Even if you have a 2hours long get-to-know-you conversation. They still won’t ask a personal question and in the end, you realize you do not really know him.
Questions like your family, childhood, ambitions, goals, dreams will likely never come up.
And these are essential questions; so if he is not asking them, just know he is not really into you and he is a player.
4. His Gives Really General Compliments.
You are blonde with a pair of blue eyes and he says your eyes are blue as the ocean and he’d love to drown. Wow! That’s such a smooth line.
But your eyes are blue! That is so generic and everyone with blue eyes will definitely fit into that.
Players are always like that, they don’t focus all their attention on one woman. Except, she is proving really difficult, and they are dedicated to winning her over.
Most times, they are sending the same text to several other ladies at the same time. And they sometimes just tease you instead of giving a compliment.
Most times you may even feel that his compliments do not apply to you. Because they can be way over-the-top.
Grand compliments like ‘you are my perfect fit and I have been waiting to meet you all my life. That is really weird for someone who you just met, and know even know much about.
He makes a lot of references to the future. Like how your wedding day will be glorious or how beautiful your children will be. And how you all will be going on family holidays and so on.
Those are just vain words, he is only trying to make an illusion in the future. So you’ll think he is a keeper.
5. He Often Forgets What You Tell Him About Yourself.
He will often forget because he wasn’t interested, to begin with. He isn’t interested; therefore, even when he asks out of courtesy or because he is trying to get to you, he will still forget.
A player can act interested when you are talking about yourself but he has an ulterior motive. Once he gets what he is after, it would seem you never existed.
6. He Texts And Calls Only At Night.
This is one of the most obvious signs he is a player. So, you had a long day and already resting to gather enough strength for the next day. But that’s the time he wants to call or text to discuss. If his only reason is that he misses you; and he does this often then you should run sister as soon as you can.
But if he is calling to wish you a good night’s rest then we can’t really consider him a player.
7. He Practices Open Relationship And Freely Tells You About It
A man who respects you and wants to make feel special will not tell you he is okay with open relationships. Because he doesn’t want to share with anyone.
Guys who are into open relationships are not ready for commitment. They want to keep you and keep others too.
They don’t really care what you do with other persons in your life. The worst of them are the ones who brag about how many ladies they have dated or been with.
That is not just insensible, it’s also disgusting. Who wants to be with someone who has been with half of the ladies in the city?
This is how to tell if a guy is a player because he doesn’t care if his words offend you or not.
8. He Is Not Consistent In Communicating With You
A player is not constant in texting or calling you. This week he is hot, calling or texting or doing both every minute and you feel how much he is interested.
Then he could go cold and you think something happened to, then suddenly he is hot again. They could wax and wane with their desire.
Players are usually not chasing one lady at a time, so if another lady gives him what he wants, you will be neglected that period. Until he gets tired of the other lady. If it works keeping him busy, once he has free time he is coming back.
However, if you are a priority, he won’t go cold to you in any situation of life. Rather he will call to let you know what’s up. Text-ghosting can be really annoying but that’s what players pride themselves on. They do it really often.
ALSO, READ 20 signs You’re a Dating a Fuck boy!
9. He Shies Away From Relationship Talks
One of the biggest signs a guy is a player is that he doesn’t talk about his relationship status. Even when you ask him, he is vague about it.
They are the chief of “its complicated”. When you ask if they are in a relationship, they say “forget about that; it’s complicated”.
They never agree they are single or dating. Players like to play it safe by staying in the grey corner or sitting on the fence. Now, when you ask what they want with you, they still remain vague.
A friend of mine named Linda once met a guy named Roy. Roy was amazingly sneaky and all but whenever rose asks what he wants with her; his response was always that he doesn’t know yet. And that, all he knows is he loves her and cannot live without her in his life. Now Roy doesn’t want a relationship, neither does he want to be just friends.
I’m sure we know what Roy wants. It’s to be friends with benefits and no commitment; that’s a confirmed player.
Players And Sex; The Relationship Between These Two Parties
The way a keeper reacts to sex in a relationship is different from a player’s. A keeper will not mind waiting till you are ready and on your terms.
But a player doesn’t care what you have to say about sex. He wants it and he wants you to give it.
Now let’s examine a few points on how players react to sex.
10. He Is Sexual Even At The Very Early Stages.
After one or two pleasantries, he is already sending a sexy stare your way, text, or even a sneaky sexy comment.
Now, that is known as testing the waters. He wants to know how you will react to it.
Don’t forget he is a player and has tested this many other girls. Thus, you have to be really wise to know and quickly block it.
If you get mad and tell him not such anymore, he’ll get it that you are not interested and may stop talking to you altogether.
But, if he thinks you are hot enough for the chase, he’ll apologize and use a more creative move next time.
11. He Makes Sex Jokes To Test You.
It may seem like a harmless joke. However, just as mentioned in the previous point, he is just testing the waters.
He wants to see your reaction to the sex topic. The joke may even seem harmless but that is not gentlemanly at all.
A man who respects you and himself should not be making adult jokes on first or second dates. If at all, that should only happen when both of you now have a relationship and it has matured to a certain stage.
12. He Only Reaches Out To You When He Is Horny.
This is a classic move and should be the oldest in the book. And this majorly happens when you guys have had sex once or more.
So, he only calls you when he needs you to warm his bed. As long as he is not horny, you are not really important.
When his urges beckon on him, he beckons on you. If his excuse for not calling is that he is busy, at that critical moment he suddenly becomes free.
ALSO, READ 7 Tips to Fall Out of Love with Someone
13. In Place Of Personal Questions, He Asks Sexual And Intimate Questions
When he ought to be getting to know you personally, all he is interested in is the sexual aspect of your life. This is so because that is the only he cares about.
He wants both of you to talk about sex so you can get comfortable about the topic around him. Once you are comfortable talking to him about sex, very soon you’ll be comfortable having sex with him.
Matured players don’t really send nudes but they request from you.
14. He Requests For Your Nudes
Yes! He wants to see you naked and just can’t wait. He wants to feed his fantasies about you so he requests sexy pictures and nudes.
And if you don’t send it, you become the bad guy. Players need someone to play with so you become their toys.
You are not in a serious relationship yet and he already wants to build an album with your sexy pictures and nudes. You should run! That is a player.
15. He Is Angry If You Are Sexually Reserved
This only works for the not-so-matured players. Because the matured ones will not give up, but keep trying all the tricks in the book.
If you tell these not-so-matured players that you want to wait till after marriage or that you are not ready; they get annoyed, angry, and may even throw tantrums.
You are the bad guy if you don’t want to get intimate with them. Some may even play the victim card on you. Or the popular “if you love me, you will make love to me”
Players are skilled seducers with lots of accomplishments under their belt. They are specialists who have tried and mastered various seducing, cajoling, and trickery skills over time.
And definitely, a player will show at least two of the signs above. So be wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove. Beware!
ALSO, READ Signs of a controlling boyfriend
How To Break Up With A Married Man With Ease
You tapped on this post because you’re in a situation like this and you feel guilty for dating another woman’s husband or you’re just tired of the relationship. But here’s the thing, you want to get out and you don’t know how to. So let’s press play and start this journey together. Do you want to know how to break up with a married man?…… SOLUTION AWAY!
Now a lot of women out there get into relationships like this for reasons best known to them and because of those reasons they don’t see how unreasonable it is, literally, logically basically, and practically unreasonable. But you tapped this post because you already see that it’s unreasonable and you just can’t keep up with it.
Here’s the good news, you’re halfway through the solution.
Now breaking up with a married man would require the following procedures:
8 Sure way to Break Up with a Married Man
1: Put God first:
This is the most essential part of making any decision in life even something as ‘Sinful’ as this. Basically it is called adultery, so you’re committing a sin with a married man, Even though the sin is more on the man, you’d still be seen as a partaker of it. Remember a sin is a sin, and when you’re involved you have committed a sin.
Now how do you put God first?
Prayers: Daily communication with God enhances your relationship with him, your frequent communication with him yields faster results than leaning on your own understanding.
God would always accept you, so despite the fact that you’ve done something as “bad” as this, he’d still draw you close.
“For I will be merciful to their iniquities,
And I will remember their sins no more.”
God would accept you the way you are, so you wouldn’t have to worry
For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
Yep! That’s just self explanatory. Accepting Christ is the reconciliation, so pray and build relationship with Jesus himself
Reading and meditation of the word: While you build your relationship through prayers , read your Bible.
Without these two things you haven’t put God first. But you also have to come to the understanding that God would accept you!
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Even though the man doesn’t see how wrong it is, be the first to make that move, do the right thing. You basically don’t belong together, if you are a Christian, what relationship does your righteousness have with such lawlessness?
These are questions you must ask yourself
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Make the man know this. His lust/love for you shouldn’t be in the picture if he claims to truly love his wife. It is God’s commandment and he must follow it.
Read through the rest of the bible verses and drop your questions in the comments zone.
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:39
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
And said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Read your Bible on a daily basis, pray, and always communicate with God your solution comes quicker that way.
After putting God first, The “how” and the “When” comes in.
How and when do you break up with a married man
2: Do a reality check
Face reality, he’s not the one for you, you’d always be a mistress to him, you’re only needed when he needs you and not when you need him. You have no true emotional support, you’d still be left alone to live for life on your own. Your only usefulness is quench is sexual urge or desire.
3: Become independent
Most women go into relationships like this because you feel like that’s what you deserve, to be pampered and showered money when you want or need it. You feel you should have everything on a platter of gold, but think about this properly you can make that money on your own and even more. All you have to do is believe in yourself that you can do it without the help of any man. Say daily affirmations to yourself everyday, encourage yourself. Stop blaming yourself for whatever guilt you have and own up to it. Face your mistakes and fix it. Start up a business of your own. Save up some money. You can become successful without the help of a Married Man!
4: Try to scare him off
Now testing a man’s love for his wife or the fear of losing his married is quite easy. This is where the intellect comes in. Try the pregnancy scare. Tell him you’re pregnant. His reaction would determine your next action. Not all men would accept it and some men would also accept. If he doesn’t accept it, that’s your cue to leave! Now if he accepts it that means you have to work with option B. Ask him to file a divorce with his wife. Trust me, no man would want to lose his marriage to a woman he barely loves.
In rare cases, the man might want to file the divorce. So just go straight to the point!
5: Tell his wife
This would actually be the best thing to do it trying to scare him off doesn’t work, tell his wife. Telling his wife does two things in one
- Clearing the feeling of guilt that you have: This would make you free. It’s the truth so it would always set you free, you’d feel the burden lifted of your shoulders.
- The fact that his children might hate you: While doing a reality check, you’d find out that if you end up getting married to that man, his children might hate you for life. Trust me if a child hates you, you’d barely survive in that house. So telling the wife actually saves you the stress.
6: Seek Counsel
You can talk to your best friend about it, or someone you trust, or an older person that might have had such experience or even a mother figure in your life. Talking about it with someone would also go a long way in relieving you from that feeling of guilt
7: Cut ties
At this point breaking up with him would be very easy. Tell him how you really feel about the whole situation then let him go his way and find yours.
8: Get yourself back
Build back that standard for yourself. Make yourself happy again. Channel your mind to finding love when the time is right and work on getting yourself back.
Breaking up with a married man may not be an easy process, but the result is what really matters. You can get out of such a relationship, just acknowledge that it’s a problem and work towards the outline given above. You can get yourself back. You can be happier. And your happiness is what really.
ALSO, READ 10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You
10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You
Being in love is a beautiful thing and being loved back by your partner is the best feeling ever. You would never want to lose such a beautiful relationship, however, never say never.
You should understand that not all relationships lead to a happy ending as a lot of them end in premium tears. Break-ups in relationships are inevitable especially when your partner is not committed to the relationship. Being dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend can be so devastating and the most painful feeling that you can experience in your life. After a breakup, you will begin to wonder what went wrong in the relationship and you will have many unanswered questions. Some of the frequent questions running through your head might be if your partner has really moved on or if he/she regrets dumping you.
For the latter, you begin to look out for signs that show your ex regrets dumping you. Now let’s take a look at 10 common signs to be wary of:
10 SIGNS YOUR EX REGRETS DUMPING YOU
1. They keep communication alive.
“They say out of sight is out of mind”. However, the ex that claims to be over you still has you in mind if he or she keeps communication alive by constantly sending unsolicited texts to you. They will always initiate communication with you and ask all sorts of personal questions so as to get you talking. This may indicate that they are not truly over you and might want you back.
In cases where it may have been a while since he/she dumped you, but out of the blues, you begin to receive texts regularly from your ex asking about your well-being and all that may indicate he/she wants you back.
Either way, they still care about you and feel some sort of regret for dumping you. It may be a sign you’re about to get back together.
ALSO, READ Signs, You Are Not Ready to Date
2 . They always want to hang out with you.
Dude, you just dumped me, yet you are seeking my attention! This is one of the best signs your ex regrets dumping you. Your ex simply still misses you and derives some sort of happiness from being around you. His/her feelings for you are still intact and might think about you often.
So if your ex shows a sign of wanting to always hang out with you, perhaps, they are looking for the right moment to tell you they are still interested in the relationship.
3. They apologize for dumping you.
When your ex finally realizes his/her mistake for breaking up with you and how to hurt you must have been, they will apologize to you. This is because they obviously regret dumping you and would want to have you back in their life.
4. They can’t stop keeping tabs on you.
When your ex begins to ask about your private life from your friends and keeps talking about you trying to know who you’re dating next, then that’s a sign of regret for dumping you.
They are always the first to like or comment on any post you make on your social media platforms even when you shut them out of your page. This obviously indicates he/she regrets the decision of dumping you.
5. They become extremely nice and more caring than before.
When an ex suddenly becomes more loving and caring towards you after dumping you, he/she probably regrets breaking up with you. Perhaps, they are trying to get back to you by being loving and affectionate even more than they did when you were still dating. They begin to shower you with so many gifts and love to show how remorseful they were for breaking up with you.
When you notice this, it is a good sign that your ex regrets dumping you and cares about your feelings.
6. They keep talking about the happy memories you guys had.
This is another good sign that your ex regrets dumping you when they are reminiscing the good times you had together. They begin to remember how you both made a great team together and realize it was actually a bad decision letting you go.
So if you hear your ex still talking about the best memories you had together and share them with you, it could possibly mean he/she misses you and would still want to create more positive memories with you.
ALSO, READ SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION
7. They suddenly got dumped too.
Yes, your ex can get rejected too by another person and will probably regret dumping you. They will understand that you actually loved them more, you wanted them to be happy and supported them in their worse moments. Right there, they will regret treating you badly and miss your love for them. They will realize that they lost something that meant a lot to them and would probably want to run back to you.
So if your ex lacks the courage to work through his/her current difficulties, it might indicate regrets for dumping you.
8. They are feeling depressed and lonely.
This is not a feeling that comes immediately after they break up with you; rather, it is a gradual process. At first, they might feel in control and experience this feeling of freedom and power from the decision of dumping you. However, after a few weeks, they will inevitably feel the loneliness and depression that accompanies a breakup.
When loneliness sets in, they begin to reminisce on the wonderful memories with you and a sense of regret from dumping you start setting in. Although an ex might move on and be happy when this doesn’t happen, then he/she is obviously regretting the decision.
9. They can’t stop flirting with you.
Flirting is a sign of attraction and when an ex still flirts with you; it means they are still fascinated by you. The attraction and attachment were never lost and they regret not being romantically involved with you.
10. They beg you for another chance.
This is most likely to happen when an ex regrets their decision for dumping you and it is also your decision to accept the plea or move on. When an ex still loves you, then they will look for any means to get you back.
When you observe these signs from your ex, it indicates your ex still loves you and might want you back. But don’t be in a haste to take him back, I know this might seem difficult especially when you still love your ex a lot. let them woo you again and fight for you so that you will be valued more. If you make it easy, your ex might just end up taking you for granted again.
How To Spoil Your Man (Experts Advice)
It feels so good to be showered with love, care, and attention, you know that feeling when your man spoils you with gifts and surprises.
Everyone loves the idea of being spoilt, it’s not meant for a particular gender.
Women rarely think of how to spoil their men or make them feel loved. If you are among the few women thinking of how to treat your man right then you are very close to winning his heart forever. Men also need to be loved and cared for, they need our attention too, it mustn’t be all about us.
Generally, women are used to being loved and cared for by their men and they feel to realize that they also need that tender care from their women.
You don’t need to wait for a special event before you show him some love. You can surprise him with a lovely gift, a love note, or even a surprise dinner for just the two of you. Men also crave these things, you shouldn’t always expect to receive love and care but learn to extend it to them.
If you have been thinking of how to make your man feel special and loved or you want to communicate how much you love him, then below are some useful tips on how to spoil your boyfriend.
Best ways on how to spoil your man (12 Proven Tips)
1. Give him a massage
A massage will make a great deal for him especially when he just returns from the day’s activity. Men love the soft tender touch of a woman, it relieves them of their stress having you around makes them forget how stressful and tiring their day went.
ALSO, READ How to make a guy fall in love with you
2. Suprise him with his favorite home-cooked meal
There is a saying that, the easiest way to a man’s heart is his stomach. This adage is still working. if you want to please your man, prepare his favorite meal by yourself. Men love the taste of home meals. Eating out is great, but you can never measure the joy in a man’s heart when he eats the food prepared by his WOMAN for him.
3. Send him unexpected text messages
Sending messages shouldn’t be left for men to do alone, you know how you feel when you just receive a love text message from your man. That feeling of love that flows like an electric current, which makes you happy all day.
You should also do so, let him have that same feeling. You can send him while at work or even when he is sitting on the couch focused on the newspaper.
4. Spoil him with random gifts.
Men also love gifts, the fact that they rarely mention it doesn’t mean they don’t value or appreciate it when you buy them a gift. It will be nice if you buy your man a gift, especially something he has been craving for; this single act will make him love you more.
You must not wait till his birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas to buy him a gift. let your gift come unexpectedly, it will be more appreciated.
Give him a valuable gift and tell him how much he means to you. Let him know you cherish every moment spent with him.
5. Leave him a Love Note
Leaving love notes triggers his emotions, which indicates he is always on your mind. It could be on the stairs, in his briefcase or suit pocket, wherever that seems right to you; Just make it brief and romantic. Here are some samples of a romantic love letter to keep for him.
6. Buy him flowers.
The idea of buying flowers has been thought to be for women alone, flowers depict love; so it’s not a gender thing. Get your man some beautiful lovely flowers with a nice fragrance, you will have him all around you.
ALSO, READ Cute Paragraphs For Him After An Argument
7. Plan a date night
Wow! A date night doesn’t sound romantic, sure it does. Just imagine what it will look like when your man comes back from the day’s work and he meets you all dressed for dinner, with the table set with different dishes. It will be a very wonderful scene to behold.
You can also plan an outside date, it mustn’t be an in-door date, it could be in a nice restaurant, just make the dinner romantic, let the moment be memorable and remarkable.
8. Give him compliments
Just as women love to be flattered and complimented, men also love to be complimented, it triggers their “Hero instincts”. It shows that you appreciate them and you love them the way they are without having any reservations.
9. Plan a surprise
A surprise event can actually do in this case, it could be a surprise party for his birthday, your marriage anniversary or to celebrate his promotion. This will mean alot to him.
10. Take care of his laundry
This is a rare task, these days you rarely see women washing their husband’s clothes. So doing his laundry simply means you care about him and his looks and you want him to always be at his best. do his laundry and make him happy, it really means alot to them to see their women taking care of their personal belongings.
11. Plan a romantic weekend getaway.
This is an opportunity for the two of you to be together, having a quality time alone to bond and make up for the times lost. It must not be work always.
plan for a vacation or a weekend and enjoy the best of the moment.
12. Go on a mini road trip.
A mini trip is just like a short vacation or a short-distance trip to rekindle your love and ease you guys of the stress from your daily activities. It mustn’t be an expensive trip, the most important thing is the bonding and quality time spent together.
13. Get the ingredients for a new recipe and cook dinner together.
Go to the market and get some new recipes to prepare a nice dinner, you too can cook the food together, this is one of the most wonderful moments. The last time I did this with my husband he was so happy and he wished we do it often.
14. Watch the sunset.
Have you ever watched a movie where two lovers sit together holding hands or cuddle each other watching the sunset? You observe the vibe and the beautiful romance in that picture, try and practice the same with your man. It is a moment for you guys to feel each other and express your love for each other.
15. Spend the day together with your phones turned off.
Our phones and other personal gadgets can distract us and make us distant from our partners. These days, couples rarely have time for each other because of social media.
Try spending time together with your phones off, to avoid distractions and keep you away from your partner. The more time you spend together the closer you guys become and the stronger your love for each other.
A little more piece
Spoiling a man doesn’t make you look cheap or desperate for his love and attention. The more you care for him, the closer you are to his heart his love for you increases. It’s nice to reciprocate the gesture he shows towards you as well.
Men wish to be loved too and pampered, treat them like your hero, your baby, and your partner. The love we desire from them is also what they desire.
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