Look, it is true – you are no wizard, but for an imminent break, there would surely be signs your wife is about to leave you. A lot contributes to the future of your relationship, but in the long run, your ability to identify majority (if not all) of the signs your spouse gives off – and the best practices to win her back – is what keeps your marriage together.
Why Does Your Wife Want to Leave You?
Definitely, a perfect relationship is not worth sacrificing anything for, and no woman in her right mind would want that, but when you observe some of what would be highlighted here, then you should understand that some things are beginning to happen that you probably didn’t take cognizance of until it escalated.
A review of other Google queries relating to questions some husbands ask when they feel like they are losing connection with their spouse goes along these lines:
Does my wife love me? How to know if my wife loves me. Why is my wife not interested in me sexually? Why does my wife suddenly want to go on a break? Why is my wife mean / rude to me? Why is she spending more time away from me? How to know if my wife is cheating. Why does it look like my spouse is avoiding me?. .
My guess is, you are reading this because you either stumbled upon this post or you searched it out because you’re beginning to feel distant from your spouse and you really cannot decipher what’s wrong.
What Does Intimacy Really Mean?
Truth is, it is a hideous task; trying to (be aware of, and) understand each other’s feelings totally. It takes bonding to become one, and it takes understanding to relate and live together. The role of proper communication of emotions cannot be over-emphasized, but when even talking becomes a task on your to-do list – that almost never gets to be ticked, then it becomes impossible to fill in on how you and your spouse relate.
A relationship is based on Intimacy, and though you may feel like it is something you’ve already got worked out, there are facets that you might have had lagging. Or maybe misconstrued.
According to an interview with Huffington Post, Christine Wilke, a marriage therapist, reveals that “most issues leading to divorce circle about the need for women to feel seen, heard, appreciated and validated.” Further on she says, “sadly in most cases the issue is not really noticed until it has deteriorated to the divorce level.”
In a similar interview, Kristin Davin, a psychologist, and mediator lays emphasis on the need for both parties to “show up.” She said, “Most women carry the weight of their family without considering their husbands because they feel left out.”
So, what does intimacy mean? In some cases, it is viewed as the feeling bred off togetherness, closeness, friendship, fellowship, and involvement in one another. According to Wikipedia, genuine intimacy in human relationships require dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity. All four; a subject of our humanity being laid as the driver for deeper relationships.
In the past, a wife had to stick with her husband for life even if he mistreated her because it was shameful to divorce. Unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore. TV shows, movies, and pop singers have made the idea of affairs, divorce, and starting a new life seem cool. Hence, the quote, “Marriage is not a bulletproof.”
I saw that quote somewhere and I can say, it rings true. In today’s world, if you want to keep a relationship together, you have to build on the respect, attraction, and love that your wife feels for you, rather than taking it for granted and expecting that she will stick around because you are married.
It’s safer to say that if you want your wife to stay with you forever, you have to continue working at being the sort of man that she wants to stay with for life.
If you observe the following behaviors in your spouse, or you find yourself stuck in similar situations as relayed here, then there are probabilities that she is considering a break from you.
3 Signs your wife wants to leave you
Arguments between couples are caused by a long list of underpinned realities; Children, Leisure, Work, Money, Habits, Relatives, Chores, Commitment, Friends, Personality, Intimacy, even more. They exist because (one or) both parties are trying to make the relationship better in ways the other doesn’t agree to.
This is seen to occur more often than not between couples that are still trying to blend. But once the argument stops there are two reasons.
1. You’ve finally found a level ground for both parties to agree, and this is the good side of it.
2. The second part gives off the impression: “You never listen to me!”
A statement like this reveals that she has tried to communicate with you in all of the ways she thinks wise (or possible), but hasn’t been able to have any effect on you.
At this point, you’ll notice that most of the arguments that come up would have the same theme. With time, she believes you’re unchangeable, unyielding, and her life would make better sense if she was away from you. Hence, her next step. To quit arguing with you. A depiction that she has finally given up on you.
There are several forms in which withdrawal can come; your spouse suddenly has piled up excuses not to be together. When she’s beginning to do things without you in it – more timeout with friends, and you notice several other excuses ranging from piled up work and (feigned) tiredness, even as a reason not to be sexually intimate. When she starts to abhor physical contact with you. No holding hands. No closure. You might be experiencing withdrawal.
Now, there are two sides to this coin. She might actually be caught up with work and all the excuses you observe might be genuine, but you might be feeling this way because you defaulted in some things you might want to check out:
1. You may have neglected her for a while and are now feeling guilty for it. Have you in any way neglected her? Probably your work hasn’t given you the opportunity to be the better husband you want yourself to be? Then, you might want to actively work on becoming the man for whom married. This would mean imply that for the expected love, respect, and attraction to stay alive for life, you because things felt so good at the start.
2. You may be making her feel less important, unintentionally. A time would come when she would feel like she has had enough of the ill-treatment you give to her, which has led to her feeling unhappy in the relationship. It could mean that your wife’s attraction for you has faded, as she feels disrespected. The best option for her to regain her respect would be to withdraw from you.
3. You may have been expecting too much from her –a little over the border. This goes along with the second point raised. Just like you, she’s human, and everyone has limitations in some ways. The least you can do is appreciate her for the little she does (especially if she isn’t a housewife).
The little sacrifices that go unnoticed and unappreciated are part of what can contribute to a feeling of neglect, and all other ones that might stem up from there. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages,” emphasizes the need for each spouse to understand, as well as, fill each other’s emotional tank.
This is meant to be obvious, for someone that is already being withdrawn from. You’ve been unyielding, and dissident. And that has dropped your rank too. She now prefers outings rather than stay in the house with you; a timeout with friends (family, and maybe a new guy), and her plans are gradually excluding you, even financial plans. If you notice this, you’re no longer top on her priority list. It takes two to tango, but you’ve slipped through the rank that she no longer makes contentious efforts at salvaging the family.
Now, I’ve tried to be explicit enough in giving you a compressed pattern that you should look out for if you are feeling like your marriage is going in the divorce direction.
As a bonus, I won’t just leave you with the signs that you came looking here for. The purpose of this article wasn’t just to reveal these. NO. Relationshipseeds would love to know that you were able to make things work with your spouse thus some tips to implement in order to rev up the tension between you both.
Remember my point about intimacy? Yes, you would have to build that back by all means possible, starting with personal efforts on your side; making yourself the kind of person she’d love to stay with for the rest of her life by:
– Paying (and giving proper) Attention
– Putting Effort (into making things work)
– Taking Responsibility (and admitting to wrongs – not shoving it aside)
– Being Intentional (she’ll know if you’re faking it to get her on your side)
– Setting up Strong Communication
– Being as understanding as can be.
A home that lacks these qualities is one that has set itself up for a break already. These are prerequisites for a marriage that’s set to be successful, with or without children. They are what build bonds, and make the familial spirit stay alive. You can always experiment with the 5 love languages Gary Chapman talked about in his book.
Remember, divorce these days is as easy as visiting a lawyer and coming back with some papers to support the claim. But the effect. . . I’m sure you’d want to avoid that as much as you can, by doing all you can to show her you don’t just love her; you appreciate her in every way. And that’s the point of this article – to show you where you’ve gotten it wrong, and point you in the right direction.
Think of it this way: Why does your wife need a divorce (or break, as it may be coated)? Is it justifiable? Do you have intentions of getting the divorce out of the picture? If really you want to work on this, then you have just the signs to look out for to know if your spouse wants to leave you, and you know just what to do.
I’d be waiting to hear from you in the comment section, or you could message Relationshipseeds using the icon by the bottom right of this page. Cheers!