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Marriage & Divorce

How to deal with a controlling spouse

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Being with a controlling spouse can be very frustrating. Spouses who are controlling often insult, criticize and limit the activities of their partners. Depending on how the situation is, you may be able to work it out with your spouse so that you can save your marriage. Sometimes you might need help from a counselor too but If the behavior is very serious or does not begin to show some changes, even with counseling, you may need to consider the option of ending the relationship or marriage to save your sanity and independence.

However, before we can delve into how you can handle a controlling spouse, first of all, we should be sure we are dealing with one. That is, we should know that our partner is controlling. Here are some of the signs that can tell you that your spouse is controlling.

i. They will always remind you that there’s something you owe them: especially when you’re in a heated argument with them. They will tell you that if it’s not because of what they did or didn’t do, you wouldn’t be where you are today!
They want to make sure they keep under their subjection.

ii. They’ll feed you with criticism: A controlling spouse would want to control your whereabouts, the time you should leave the house or not. They also want to control who you associate with and what you tell them. They mostly tell you why they think their choices are more valid and when you try to obstruct them thru will feed you with criticism constantly: the way you talk with your friends, what you do with your friends, your job, the way your hair looks, etc. These criticisms might start small but they will increase as time goes. The Sooner you will start losing confidence and self-esteem.
iii. They make you appear guilty when you’ve done nothing wrong: A controlling person is often skillfully good at making you feel like you’re the one always doing wrong when in reality you have done nothing at all. Sometimes you might know that these accusations are completely false, but always hearing them from your spouse can be frustrating and can even make you question yourself.

iv. Always sending threats: The first time it happens can be very unsettling, even terrifying. When you don’t give in to what they are saying or refuse to play along with them, they become threatening. This is a sign of narcissism.

ALSO, READ EFFECTIVE WAYS TO CATCH A CHEATING SPOUSE

v. They’re attempting to isolate you from your loved ones:
The only way a controlling person can truly gain full control is when they separate you from the people whom you love and who love you too. This is one of the clearest signs of a controlling person and it’s also one of the most dangerous. Whatever happens, do not let anyone even if it’s your spouse separate you from the people who love especially your family and close friends. They are the ones you would run to whenever you need someone to talk to.

Now that we’ve known the sign of a controlling spouse, now we can move on to the ways you can handle a controlling partner.

1.Remain calm:

calm down

 For many of us, arguing and talking back is a natural response to a spouse’s controlling behavior. But the thing is, it is so very unlikely that the controlling spouse will listen to anything you have to say. So Instead of arguing, remain calm and quiet. You can also, for the sake of peace, agree that your partner’s point is good without actually doing exactly what he says.

2.Ask the controlling spouse to develop a solution: This means you might have to let your controlling spouse for a solution. You might tell him/her that there is a problem between the two of you and that he or she should provide a solution.

You should try to avoid words like “I have noticed that you are too controlling,” Instead you could say, “I feel you no longer trust my judgments on certain things, what do you think we should do about it because we are always having this argument on it.” Then allow him say his mind but if your spouse doesn’t see that there’s a problem, you may have to leave this option.

3.Do not defend yourself:

Whenever you two are in a heated argument, avoid getting defensive, don’t try to defend your choice or anything as this will only make him want to be violent or be more controlling in the future.

4.Be prepared for denial:

A controlling spouse often does not know that they are actually controlling. It may sound like a shock to you, but sometimes they think they are the ones being controlled here. So whenever you are trying to bring it up to their notice, try to be respectful as possible. If you want to save your marriage, then you have to approach this from the angle of empathy and not anger.

5.Seek counseling:

If your spouse is unwilling to acknowledge the controlling behavior, or you are both unable to remedy the situation, you may have to meet a professional counselor to help you and your spouse. Sometimes your controlling partner may benefit from learning what a controlling behavior is from an expert and how they can stop it.

6.Do not allow yourself to be isolated from your loved ones:
No matter what the controlling spouse does, never let them isolate you from the people you love. That’s very toxic.

7.Avoid internalizing criticism:

If your controlling spouse has repeatedly put you down, you may start to feel as though you did something to deserve that criticism. It’s important to remind and tell yourself that you deserve nothing less than the best, and never take a controlling spouse, criticism seriously, or personally.

8.Stay true to your beliefs:

Many controlling spouses dominate their partners by telling them what they should think or what values they should hold dear. If you have opinions and beliefs that differ from those of your spouse, it is important to stand up for your right to maintain them.

9.Be willing to walk away from an unhealthy relationship:

In some cases, controlling behavior can be corrected and mutual respect can take its place, but it’s important to know that this may not always happen. Often, a controlling individual will not be able to change, so you need to be willing to end the relationship if it is causing you harm. Certain behaviors need not be tolerated ever. If your spouse abuses you physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually, walking away is simply the best option.

Most of us would never imagine being with a controlling spouse but sometimes one might just end up with one. Sometimes it’s hard to know while on a lighter note, they may learn the behavior from someone else later.
Some may start taking the control slowly, while some others are so good they make you think that you’re the one who’s the flawed guy and that they’re helping to fix or support you.
If you think your partner might be controlling, it’s important to find a solution as quickly as possible to save your sanity and independence.

ALSO, READ How to deal with a nagging partner

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Marriage & Divorce

What to Look for in a Wife TO MARRY

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Before getting married to the love of your life as a man, questions like “what to look for in a wife?” Will definitely arise. The ideal woman for Everyman differs. Some may say they want a skinny lady, or a fat girl, if you could hear some of the things said by MEN, as per what they want, you’d be shocked.

Choosing a life partner is a major decision taken by man, here he selects one lady over a bunch of them. Marriage is a lifetime race, and when it’s not been run properly, it could lead to a broken home. Nobody wants a broken home. Everyone wants to live happily ever after. When you choose the wrong partner, it may take you years to correct, or even spending all your life trying to put things in proportion. A marriage that is not Divinely approved will end in divorce, emotional pains, and suffering.

It is therefore important to choose wisely. Before you choose to marry any lady make sure that she is Kind of person, never you force yourself on her just because you think she’s the most beautiful lady on planet Earth or you wanna marry her because she’s a model.
In life generally, if you want to buy something expensive, you don’t just rush in purchasing it. for instance, if you’re trying to buying used car worth $40,000 for yourself, there are things you need to look out for in the car before buying it. You’ll need to check stuffs like the * * vehicle history- you’ll need to make sure that the vendor is not selling a stolen car. Through the use of VIN, you can actually check if the car has been in an accident.
• You can check how efficient the engine is- this would be better if you go with an motor engineer (i.e the mechanic). In order not to bore you with these,the main message is to carefully search what’s needed.
So, If you’ve been asking questions like What qualities should I look for in a wife? Then keep reading this article .

6 Things To Look For In A Wife

Like we said in the beginning, men have different tastes when choosing women, but we’re going to bring out the most important thing to look for when hunting for a wife. They are things that you must consider without looking back.

1.Attractiveness

ATTRACTIVE LADY

I’ve always told my friends that if I want to marry, I must marry someone who I’m deeply attracted to. Yes! She may have all the wife material features, but bro, if she isn’t so attracted to you, I’ll advise you to leave her. Attraction isn’t everything but it’s something.

You may say, she’s beautiful, she has the qualities of a good wife, she’s just so perfect in her ways… but if you’re not attracted to her it may lead to another problem in future.
A girl once crushed on me years back! I noticed she had every quality that a good mother should possess but the problem actually was that I wasn’t attracted to her… I vividly know that if I end up marrying her, I would cheat on her like I never had a wife.

If you aren’t comfortable hanging out with your woman or introducing her to your friends, then I’m sorry to give you the breaking news, “Leave her Alone”, this may be very hard for you.. it was hard for me when I decided to make my own decisions, but the good news is that you’ll overcome.
It is very good to foresee because, if you’re marrying her because she is skinny, her body morphology may change with the season, she may run out of your taste!!
Marry someone who you know with or without her body changing drastically, you’ll still fall for her. Attraction goes beyond the physical structure, it’s more of a psychological feature, so be wise!!!!!!

2. She brings out the Best in You

Wow!! This is also an important factor in what to look for in a wife… one important question to ask yourself is “does my woman brings out the best in you?” Not all women have the capability. If you have one like this, then you’ll need to hold her really tight..

Some women may just decide to focus on just themselves, but a woman who’s really interested in you will want to resharpen and remold you.
If you’ve got the habit of smoking and drinking alcohol all the time, extravagant living, she’ll want to help you in that arena.
One way to know that she really brings out the best in you is that whenever you’re with her, you’re always inspired and you just discovered something just awakened in you.

This kind of woman reinforces your confidence. Here, she’s just like a coach to you. She just has the ability to make your world brighter.
She’s never in to demotivate, instead, she’ll motive and lift your heart’s up…
If you’re in a relationship now and you’ve ever felt like you’re in a prison, then that should be a red flag on your side telling you to run.

ALSO, READ BEST ROMANTIC LOVE LETTERS FOR YOUR PARTNER

3. Find a Wife who’ll Love you Unconditionally

An Ex. Once asked me, Josh!! Why do you love me?? Can you please tell me what you like about me or the major reason why you love me???.. As a relationship expert, you know full well that the answers you make can hurt you or flame up something in the future. Like the cops will always tell any criminal they capture. “ any you say or do, will be used against you in the court of law”.

It’s not bad to give an answer of your choice tho.

Finally, I gave her no answer, I just told her that I don’t have any reason(s) for loving you. that if I do, in the future, if that reason is no longer manifesting, then the love will fade away. I told her I just love her unconditionally.

The word unconditionally has a dictionary meaning: without a condition.
The day I was shocked, was when I saw a lady who married a man in a wheelchair. I wept in my heart. I asked my self does true love like this still exists?? That’s an example of an unconditional love.

When exchanging the marriage vow, the priest usually quote stuff like:

“in riches and in poverty”
“in sickness and in good health”
This was meant to be the true definition of an unconditional love.
Looking for someone who’ll love you unconditionally might be very tough for you. But if you carefully watch her well. You’ll be able to detect it.. an adage says by their fruits, ye shall know them. When the fruits in a mango tree is ripe, It’s always accessible for sightseeing until it’s been plucked.
An unconditional love is a sacred kind of love!! Not everyone in a relationship is lucky to get it. Some actually got it, but screwed things up!
Unconditional love also means putting your partners first, Before putting yourself. You deserve a woman that’ll love you the way you are.

4.Sexual Openness

Sexual compatibility should be one of the TOP 3 discussed topics Before marriage.
It’s very important! I once asked a lady, “how sexual are you? Rate it from 1- 10. She said 3. I was shocked, I just told myself deep down, that i cant be with such a fellow!!.

She told me she isn’t a Fan of sex!!! Although research and statistics have proven that sex wanes and waxes at different stages of life. For instance, the sex drive for nursing mother’s periodically low.

If you’re a man who’s practicing abstinence from sex with your partner before marriage, then this issue of sexual openness needs to be taken very seriously.
And if you’re a man who’s so crazy about sex and wants more in marriage, then you’ll need to look for a woman who has a healthy sex life that discusses sex openly, in other not to fall into a sexless marriage.

Find out little things like “does she love kissing?😘”, would she want to explore the world of sex?.
Being so religious shouldn’t make you shy from the REAL TRUTH.
When you fail in this aspect, you’ll be left with no choice rather than to cheat.

5. intellectual and Educational Compatibility

intellectual and Educational Compatibility

It has never been in the dictionary of some educated men to marry a lady that is not educated.
Education shouldn’t be something you place so much value on over intelligence. Education can never be substituted for intelligence!!
Whenever a man feels his woman is less Intelligent and educated than him, if they tend to marry, the man will definitely maltreat her.
However, such men would find it very hard to let their wives make key decisions about child-rearing, money management etc if they doubt their wives’ intelligence.
ALSO, READ SIGNS YOU ARE NOT INTELLECTUALLY COMPATIBLE WITH YOUR PARTNER

6.Marry Your type

Marrying your type means you should look for a wife that has similar traits, characteristics, and personality. If you’re an extroverted man and you’re not really comfy handling an introvert, then you shouldn’t run into marriage with her. Marriage shouldn’t be something that will bore you. Having a partner that you can’t have a long conversation with would be boring especially you’re the type that loves talking a lot.

These are some funny answers that Joshua Isibor– A relationship Coach, got when he asked some guys the kind of lady that they want..

“ I want a woman that loves drinking alcohol”
“ I want a lady who smokes”
“I also want a lady who is good in bed”

The goal here is to find someone that’s like a best friend to you: someone that you’re free with.

Please leave your comments!





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Marriage & Divorce

Modern day definition of marriage

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 What is marriage?

Marriage is a symbolic union between a man and woman, it involves two people unanimously coming together as husband and wife. Marriage is a sacred union between two parties (male and female). By the word sacred, I mean sacrosanct, divine, holy, inviolable, and consecrated, it’s a union to be valued, cherished, adored, and respected by the two persons involved.

Marriage is sweet, interesting, lovely, and appreciated if and only if the two parties agree to make it work. You can make your marriage be how you want it, but the question is are you ready and willing to pay the prize? Are you just after the rosy part of marriage?

Before going into this union called marriage, there are some questions you should ask yourself and answer by yourself.

asking questions like

Questions like:

🌟 What exactly is marriage?

🌟 Am I ready for marriage?

🌟 How prepared am I for marriage?

🌟 What knowledge have I acquired about marriage?

🌟 What exactly am I after in marriage, (companionship or procreation or both)?

🌟 Do I really love this person I want to settle down with?

🌟Am I financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stable to get married?

🌟 Can I withstand the ups and downs in marriage?

🌟 Can I tolerate my partner’s excesses?

 

These questions and more are very important for you to meditate on and answer sincerely before you work down the aisle and say “Yes I do”.

Questions to ask before getting married

1.What exactly is marriage?

Like I said earlier, marriage is a union,a sacred one between two people who agree to be joined in holy matrimony. Presently, people have a different picture of marriage entirely. Before you make up your mind to get married, you should and must have a good knowledge of marriage, because when you have a proper understanding of what you are going into, you will surely know how to perform your duties as expected.

Marriage is a union created by God for man, for the sole reason of companionship and procreation. Your union brings you together, to help, appreciate, love, understand each other as soulmates. Your purpose of getting married should be known, either for companionship or procreation or both. If this is not stated as it suits you both, the purpose of your marriage will be lost.

This is where most couples make mistakes, they fail to define what kind of relationship they want or how their marriage will look like. They just jump into marriage with little or no knowledge of what marriage is.

Marriage goes beyond the union of coming together as husband and wife, as couples you are meant to complete, assist and help each other in all ramifications. It is a blissful union meant for soulmates (Divinely connected) to fill in the gap for each other. You practically help each other grow and make yourselves happy, through commitment, love, affection, care, and standing for each other.

 

2.Am I ready for marriage?

How ready are you for marriage? are you actually prepared for marriage or wedding? Maybe you are just after the beautiful wedding shower, accessories, wedding party etc. A lot of people are only preparing or are prepared for a wedding, not marriage. They only have an idea of how to get beautiful stuff for their wedding but know little or nothing of the beautiful things to spice their marriage and make it work.

So are you really ready for marriage? Or you are just prepared to flaunt your wedding outfits instead of your marriage to be a model of example to others and encourage people to build and have a beautiful healthy marriage.

 

3.How prepared am I for marriage

Are you ready to support your partner? In marriage you look out for your soulmate, you are no longer alone, you now have someone to care for, are you ready to be a shoulder your partner can lean on? can you stand for your partner and defend him/ her? Can you be someone to hold on to?

Are you ready to perform the duties expected of you as a wife or a husband? answer these questions before you accept that marriage proposal. Marriage has a lot of commitment, you should be ready to make sacrifices and be committed to each other.

4.What knowledge have I acquired about marriage?

Knowledge is power, the level of information you have about something determines how well you perform, marriage is like a school, but here you don’t graduate,”No graduation in marriage”.You continue to learn and make adjustments where necessary. Your knowledge about marriage will determine if your marriage will be successful or not.

Note: Knowledge here, is not just any form of fabricated information, it must be the right information, not all knowledge are helpful, some can destroy your marriage.

Seek knowledge from the right source, read books and learn from people whose marriage are glowing and fruitful.

5.What exactly am I after in marriage (Companionship and procreation)

Marriage is solely for the purpose of procreation and companionship, but this can be determined by you and your partner. Discuss what you want. If you guys want to bear kids or not.

A lot of people have issues in their homes because they failed to discuss some crucial things about what they want in a marriage. Your goal about marriage should be in line with that of your partner, selfish reasons should not come in. Two must agree to become one, in marriage, you must agree on what you guys want and need.

ALSO, READ Before marriage questions for a healthy relationship

6.Do I really love this person I want to settle down with?

Love is a feeling, an emotion felt. inwardly, it connects you to your partner. Love is a great attraction. You must love your partner enough for you to spend the rest of your life with. The love you have for your partner should not be based on selfish reasons, true love that keeps you guys going even in tough times.

Love strengthens, heals, and binds you together. If you love shallowly your union will be shallow and not productive. When I say love I mean deep and affectionate love for your partner, which assures security, approval, and commitment, without this kind of love you can’t be committed to your partner.

Love is not selfish, hurtful, deceitful, painful, wickedness, but love is joy, peace, in-depth happiness, sacrifice, and commitment. When you love genuinely your partner becomes your major priority.

 

7.Am I financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stable to get married?

married couples on top of money

What is your financial status like? Can you boast of taking care of yourself how much more another person? Your financial state counts before you consider marriage, you can’t be planing to get married and you have a lot of unpaid bills.Financial crisis has become the order of the day in most homes which sometimes leads to divorce, you should consider your income because you have a lot of needs and bills to take care of together.

Emotional stability affects your marriage positively or negatively, if you are still emotionally broken, it’s not advisable to go into marriage, if your heart is filled with hatred, then deal with it first. Don’t go into marriage in such a state, else how do you intend to show love, when you can’t let go of the past hurts.

Your physical stability, both health-wise, & mentally, all together are what makes you complete as a human. Your brain must be active and ready to settle with your partner.

Spiritually, do you guys connect body, spirit, and soul? You must be at the same level in this aspect else your relationship will suffer.

 

8.Can I tolerate the ups and downs in marriage?

Marriage is full of ups and downs, the moment you acknowledge that all your marital fears are over. You and your partner are two polar different people with a different temperament, personality, and character, you should be ready to tolerate the different phases that show up in your marriage.

Every marriage has its beautiful moment and challenging moment, your ability to withstand, tolerate, and solve your problems together makes your marriage to be successful and unique.

 

9.Can I tolerate my partner’s excesses?

Like I mentioned earlier, you and your partner are two polar opposite people, what you like might be what he or she dislikes. Marriage creates room for adjustments where and when necessary, you must learn to tolerate, understand and adjust because marriage is for better or worse till death do you part.

You are not perfect neither is your partner but you can make a perfect marriage by having mutual respect, being committed, understanding, and having affection for each other.

 

 Modern-day marriage in the present society

Most marriages today have become a charade, couples now take marriage as employment. when they are fed up, they quit and seek for another partner, like a job hunter, but the question is how long will you continue to “Spouse hunt”.”

Marriage is not a bed of roses”, but today most people have failed to understand this fact, you can’t possibly get everything you wished for, no one is perfect, you are not also perfect, that your partner has some flaws is not enough reason to leave because you don’t know how the next person you are “Spouse hunting for” will be, even flaws has it’s benefits, for example, stubborn people are good decision makers and overly organized people are good at paying bills on time.

Majority don’t put into consideration these things mentioned above, that is why most marriages are suffering today and the rate of divorce cases is increasing by the day. Marriage is now assumed to be a contract, when you have finally gotten what you want selfishly or you are tired or no longer satisfied with the said contract, you file for a divorce.

ALSO, READ God promises in marriage

Marriage has lost its sense of value and dignity, they say is not a do-or-die affair and as such no mutual respect, understanding, genuine love and affection, tolerance, honesty, sincerity, and fidelity. Which are basically the building blocks for a healthy and happy marriage. Couples fail to understand the importance of the fundamentals of marriage, they want everything at a plater of gold, no one wants to pay the price and make sacrifices that will make the marriage blissful. Marital issues are not settled, instead of sorting things out maturely and amicably, matters of importance or concern are swept under the rug.

Communication gap is a major barrier in marriage, lack of communication destroys relationships and no matter what you do, the bond that once existed begins to diminish. Couples live their lives based on assumption, you assume your partner is supposed to know and actually he or she doesn’t. Men and women reason, react and behave differently, the male psychology is different from that of females. You may feel your actions are right but in the sight of your partner it’s wrong and hurtful and you wouldn’t know without proper communication.

When last did you care about your partner’s emotions before acting? you only care about yourself and how things dim fit to you. Love is meant to be mutual, caring, and respectful, and if you can’t treat your partner right then it’s no longer love.

happy couple

Marriage has become a game and a field for infidelity, couples have turned their union as a means for gambling, they gamble with their partner’s emotions. Faithfulness is a key factor for a successful marriage. When one party decides to break that vow, marriage crisis arises. You can’t possibly love your partner and continually cheat on them, knowing it will break them into pieces. Infidelity breaks the marriage bond. Cheating is not a gender thing, man or woman none is permitted to cheat, or have a better reason to cheat. Your marital vow is to be faithful to your partner till death do you part. Infidelity sows a seed of discord in marriage. The joy and peace of marriage are lost when one party becomes unfaithful.

The issue of disrespect has become a thorn in the flesh in marriage, couples fail to acknowledge the importance of mutual respect.” Respect is reciprocal” is not meant for a particular gender. Most couples lack this attribute, they have little or no respect for their spouse, they speak to their partner so rudely even in public. They practically abuse their partner and criticize whatever they do, not minding their feelings.

Never deny your partner the respect they deserve, but mind you respect is given to whom respect is due, so for you to be respected you must earn it. You don’t expect your partner to respect you when you don’t behave responsibly, you must be worthy of respect first before you can be respected because your responsible attitude triggers respect from your partner.

This generation is so proud that when you emphasize on respect.  they don’t even see why respect should be a matter of concern in marriage. The fact that you both are married and have become one doesn’t mean you should not value, appreciate and respect your partner. Respect is an asset in Marriage, it’s one of the key factors that determine the life span of your marriage.

Marriage is a blessing and as such demands a lot of sacrifices, if you don’t truly have your partner at heart you will never see the reason to make sacrifices. Some couples are so self-centered, all they know is how to satisfy and please themselves, they can never compromise when necessary just to make their partner happy but they would want their partner to always please them whether it’s convenient for them or not. You can’t expect to receive when you don’t give out. You receive what you give, when you become selfish your marriage becomes stunted.

Family crisis is inevitable but it becomes a tug of war when there is no commitment. How committed are you to your partner? Are you committed with time? Are you committed to your partner’s needs? Do you really care about your partner?

Whenever you plan to go out on a date, do you always keep to time or you show up late or you don’t show up at all. when you can’t make it do you give notice before time or you just ignore it? Do you apologize when you are wrong or you wait to be told before you reluctantly apologize without being remorseful? These are questions you should ask yourself and answer sincerely, your level of commitment ascertains how successful your marriage will be.

For your marriage to work, there must be mutual commitment, you plan together, agree together, and execute your plans together as one. Instead of couples agreeing they continually disagree and fight at every slightest provocation over something that can be easily handled. The day you “Say I do” you have signed up for a total commitment to your partner.

ALSO, READ 41 Keys to a successful marriage

 

Today couples don’t see the reason to fight for each other and make their marriage work, marriage is now seen as a car or clothes you can easily change when it’s faded or obsolete. Divorce has become a very good option, am not saying there are no good reasons to divorce which could be as a result of infidelity or abuse.

Marriage requires a lot of work to make it work, you don’t give up working, even when everything seems well, you still need to work and nurture your marriage.

Marriage is like a farmland where a farmer cultivates crops, the amount of work he puts in determines the type and quantity of crops he will harvest, and even after harvesting, he stores the crops to avoid spoilage. Marriage should be guided by jealousy, if you can’t put in your best then you can’t expect a blissful marriage.

Your partner should be your major priority, they are to be valued and cherished and not to be treated like a handbag that can be dumped after been used to your satisfaction. Marriage is a lifetime journey and commitment, you don’t just discard it because you don’t feel that person anymore. Your partner is your better half and bet me, you can’t discard your better half because you don’t feel like keeping it anymore.

“Marriage is like a “SIM Card” and the SIM’s network, Marriage is the sim card and your partner is like the network” no matter how old the sim card looks you don’t discard or let go, even if the network fluctuates and is unstable, you are always patient enough to wait for it to stabilize, reason because the “SIM card” is important to you, you have a lot of info stored inside and so you wouldn’t let it go.

Patience is a virtue needed in marriage and as a couple, if you lack this, your marriage can never be blissful. Couples are so quick to file for a divorce even when they can calm their storm amicably.

Most people before marriage already concealed divorce in their mind, they already have the mindset that once you fall out of love with your partner, or you are no more attracted to your partner, or you guys have unresolved issues then you can file for a divorce. Such people can never be committed in their marriage, they feel is not so important, so once they are tired with their partner they just take a walk in another direction.

Marriage is actually “for better for worse”. you are the only one that can determine the state of your marriage. If you want the best then put in your best. Every marriage has its own storm, your duty is to calm the storm and let peace come in and not to ignore the storm or abandon your partner.

People have become so accustomed to quitting, this a selfish generation where people are so concerned about themselves. People are so career and socially conscious forgetting about family. Gone are the days when people value family and put them first. We have become so selfish that we only care about ourselves and leave our loved ones behind. I am not saying you shouldn’t pursue your career, but the issue of the “me! me!! me!!” mentality has eaten us so deep that commitment is no more valued, they are only after what they want and can get which can be correlated to the failed marriages and increase in divorce cases. If you so see marriage as an investment then being committed and putting in enough work would mean a good dividend in your marriage. Compromise is a difficult concept when it’s so easy to quit, when you can’t have your way, if we can’t let go of our selfish desires, then there will be an increase in failing marriage and divorce will be inevitable.

 

 the ideal kind of marriage?

The ideal kind of marriage is not all about respect, love, flirting around, having a fun time together, it also involves disagreeing and agreeing. Marriage is not all about butterflies and rainbows, but going through all that and still being committed to each other, coming out and holding hands on the other side of the wind is rainbows and butterflies and unicorns too.

An ideal marriage is a marriage where both parties have mutual respect, understands, and are committed to each other, stand by each other, tolerate, being sincere, faithful, and honest to each other. These things are the key players for a healthy relationship and Marriage. It might sound antiquated but you will agree with me, it’s better to have a peaceful and happy marriage than going through the process of divorce.

An ideal marriage doesn’t lack sincere communication. communication is the only means you can share your feelings, discuss and settle your differences. We blame technology for the cause of the communication gap, people no more sit face to face to listen to their loved ones, they prefer social media communication. The act of visual communication makes it easier to express yourself and your emotions are seen and felt from your facial expressions and body language.

The communication gap breaks the union and bond and slowly the love you once felt is gone, communication strengthens marriage when there is a crisis. Disagreeing to agree, accepting that you are at fault, and taking corrections without mixed feeling makes your relationship stronger and healthier.

ALSO, READ Causes of Lack of communication problem in marriage and in relationships

 

Food for thought

🌟 Love is not a foundation for marriage, but marriage is a foundation for love. Love alone cannot guarantee a peaceful marriage.

🌟 Understanding, faithfulness, trust, patience, unity, honesty are the key players for a successful marriage

🌟 Communication is one of the building blocks for a healthy marriage

🌟 Beauty only attracts but virtues keep the marriage.

🌟 There is no graduation in marriage, you keep learning.

🌟 Marriage requires a lot of work, you never stop working.

🌟 Commitment is an obligation or duty for couples to build a strong relationship.

🌟 Divorce should not be an option,try to work out your marriage.

🌟 Make the right choice of a life partner, never settle with someone for selfish reasons.

🌟 Learn to forgive always.

🌟 Make your partner your major priority.

🌟 Learn to always agree even after disagreeing.

🌟 Avoid pretentious attitude in courtship, be yourself, let your partner see and accept you for who you are.

 

A Little more piece

Marriage is a divine union of holy matrimony, love alone cannot sustain a marriage. Your commitment, understanding, fidelity, sincerity, and respect for each other are what will keep you going. Divorce should never be an option, except in cases of infidelity and abuse. Above all learn to forgive and always prioritize your partner in your life, be ready and willing to listen to your partner, and together always agree and treat each other as one.

Your marriage can become the best and exactly what you wished for if only you are ready to work and be committed to each other.

Lastly, no marriage is without storms, because you are two different people with different temperament, character, personality, and backgrounds, be willing to complete each other and make adjustments where necessary, always remember marriage is a lifetime commitment and investment and if you so believe it’s an investment then put in your best to get a positive outcome. Spice up your marriage and let it be a model for others.

ALSO, READ 5 REASONS YOU SHOULDN’T HIDE YOUR PHONE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

 





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Marriage & Divorce

How To Promote A Wedding Hashtag?

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How To Promote A Wedding Hashtag?




Wedding hashtags are the perfect way to collect all those amusing pictures shared on social
media platforms from the big day into one unified, easily clickable place.
In this age of social media, everything seems to be coming from the trends. They have become
an integral part of planning and execution processes. And when it is the most awaited day of
your life, you surely want the social media paparazzi to capture all those candids, don’t you?
However, to be able to collect all the posts shared by the attendees, you need to create an
exclusive hashtag, which should also be communicated.
The guests make use of it while posting any wedding-related content on social media. So, here
are some ways in which you can well-promote your wedding hashtag.

1. Put The Wedding Hashtag On Your Wedding Invites

The invitation cards sent out to the guests are read by them not just with excitement but also
with attention. Therefore, imprinting them on your wedding invite will bring it into every guest’s

knowledge, and they will be mindful of using it while posting content related to the wedding on
social media.

2. Use The Hashtag In Pre-wedding Parties

Using the hashtag more often than not will help the guests remember it better. Posting content
on social media platforms containing the hashtag of your pre-wedding functions is an amazing
way to bring it to more and more notice.

Use The Hashtag In Pre-wedding Parties

Use alluring virtual posts to excite people to also post something related to the wedding on their
social media handles to further promote the hashtag.

3. Include It In Your Wedding Decor

All of the wedding decor fetches attention, so if your wedding hashtag becomes a part of your
decor in creative ways, it will most-definitely catch some attention.

 

You can include or solely display them on quirky cards, directional boards, wall arts, etc. This
will help in making the hashtag easily recognizable, and the guests will be able to easily use it.

4. Showcase Live Hashtag Feed

Nothing can inspire your guests more than a social media wall to use the wedding hashtag. A
wedding Hashtag wall helps in displaying all the fun and beautiful pictures shared by the guests
on social platforms using the specially created hashtag.

Showcase Live Hashtag Feed

You can collect all the posts by using a social media aggregator tool, like Taggbox, and display
the same on the wedding wall installed at your location.
Digital signage displays help in prompting the guests to capture and share more fascinating
pictures from the big day, as it gets displayed on the screens. This also helps other guests catch
all the fun live through the hashtag feed.

5. Keep It Easy To Remember

Creating a hashtag that is easy to remember, simple yet quirky is the best promotional tactic.
More people will be inspired to share posts so that they can use the hashtag. If on the contrary,
the hashtag is complicated, long, or difficult: chances are that people will not remember it and
might not also use it.
Hence, the first thing that you need to do to promote your wedding hashtag is to create an
authentic and easy hashtag, as people will automatically want to use it.

6. Ask Your Friends And Family To Use It Too

Let your friends and family communicate your wedding hashtag to their followers to make more
people aware of what’s happening. It will help ease out making announcements too. As
anybody who follows the hashtag can directly get all the updates of what’s happening.

Moreover, through hashtags people who are not connected to the wedding can also keep
themselves informed about the happenings and draw inspiration from the decor, outfits,
catering, gifts, venue, etc.

7. Imprint Them On Return Gifts

Imprint Them On Return Gifts

Return gifts are a token of appreciation for guests that attend the wedding. You can customize
gift boxes with the hashtag imprinted on them to not just promote the hashtag but also to give
the guests something to recall about the wedding.
Guests can also post about the gift on their social media handles by using the wedding hashtag.

Over To You

Getting wedded is the most exciting part of life. Taking efforts to make it special is obvious, but,
going a little way farther to make it intriguing and exciting for it to get imprinted in the minds of
the attendees has become the trend.

Moreover, social media platforms have become a place where people communicate the most.
Hence, incorporating all the posts shared by the guests on their handles and showcasing the
same via an aggregated feed on the digital signage screen, generates more engagement and
motivates the attendees to click and share more.
Create an exclusive hashtag, promote it and make your wedding look like a once-in-a-lifetime
event, literally.





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