This generation of ours has made every negative thing a norm and tends to forget the absurdness of it. For example, The negativity around depression has failed to be seen as people finding solace in it, speeding toxicity, another example can be seen in prostitution, where this is seen as a “Career” or a source of income. The world has failed to see the absurdness of this making women more objectified and this should not be. Another example is Dating married men, Women see this as a norm and a source of income for themselves, not thinking of the absurdness of this….They just do it without thinking!
When things like prostitution are made a norm there is a tendency that women would date married men. Some of them do this for reasons best known to them, while some of them do it because of preference, they just prefer married men.
Some of them don’t even know why they do it, they just feel like it’s the right thing to do and they just go for it. Some of them do it to spite the wife in the marriage for one misunderstanding or the other, Some of the.do it because it was spiritually inclined into them.
But, This doesn’t mean that some of them are not tired of it, especially those ones who don’t know why they do it and feel ashamed about it, they want to stop but they don’t know how to, they have tried what they thought was right but still had the same results, and I know that you reading this right now might be one of them.
Ways to Stop Dating A Married Man
1: Acknowledge that it’s a problem
Until you see the absurdness of this you would not be able to make the decision of stopping it. Until you see why it is wrong and should not be done at all, there is every tendency that you might not make the choice of stopping. So firstly think about the absurdness, acknowledge that is wrong, and work towards your stopping it.
2: Put God first
When you acknowledge that it’s a problem, run back to the place of prayer and let God take over, sometimes spirituality is involved. Daily reading and meditating on the bible tends to change your perspective about life making you see more of the absurdness of Dating A Married Man.
3: Set your priorities right:
It is said that some of them that do it and want to stop but can’t stop is because of the income they make from it, the comfort it brings and the solace added, making it their top priority. This is the excuse they have. But after acknowledging that it’s a problem and putting God first, set your priorities right.
Be independent, withdraw from that relationship, and start a life of your own, where you don’t have to rely on a man or a married man for your well-being, Establish yourself. This is one of the ways a strong woman is built, she starts by setting her priorities right.
Ways you can set your priorities right include
A: Believe in yourself:
Many women think or feel that they cannot do anything without the help of a man or a man who already knows how to take care of a woman because of his experience in marriage. But facing the fact that it is wrong and telling yourself you can do better than that, you can become who you want to become without giving yourself to a married man.
B: Do a reality check:
Look things logically, a married man would only see you as mistress and nothing more, he wouldn’t have time for you, he’d always come only when he feels like, you’re not being loved but being used. You’re not in a relationship that would lead to a happy married life, you’re just eating What you did not cook, and what you fail to understand is the bitterness of the after taste, you’re in a relationship where you’re at the mercy of whatever he brings, whether it works for you or not.
He’s not going to meet your parents because you don’t expect him to leave his wife because of you, and if he was going to marry you, think about how his kids would feel, they would hate you for stealing their mom’s lover, can you deal with that? Would your loved ones approve of it, ask yourself these questions.
Doing a reality check makes you come to a realization of these things.
C: Tell the wife:
This basically frees you from the guilt. Your freedom is what matters, telling the wife doesn’t make you a coward, or show your sense of irresponsibility, it only shows your level of good reasoning and good you have come to the realization of the absurdness of it. When you te the wife you are free.
D: Break up with him:
This is the point where you make that decision to cut ties and don’t go back. This is the point where your realization comes into reality. Then you can become independent.
4: Do a daily Mind exercise:
Dating Married men can be traced psychologically, as it becomes a mindset that has been embedded into you by experience, doing mind exercises can completely eradicate the thoughts of your mind. Close your eyes for ten to fifteen seconds, imagine yourself coming out of that situation or that mindset and keep working towards it by the first three things listed above.
5: Change your hobbies:
This might seem funny, but every little thing matters. Most women date married men because of their love for luxury and material things, they want everything on a platter of gold, their love for money would always cloud their mindset, and the fact that they always get it would set their hobbies to doing things that are luxury worthy. For example, Shopping every single day, reckless spending of money on things that don’t matter, etc. Therefore making these things their favorite thing to do.
So changing your hobbies to little things and finding your talent improves your probability of not dating Married men. When you work for some things yourself and do some things by yourself without the help of anyone, you’d actually know what you actually like and what you don’t.
6: Seek Counsel:
After doing everything listed above, seeking advice from a good adult would do a great deal of detaching yourself from Dating a Married Man. A counselor would always tell the truth and give you the next line of action.
How to stop Dating A Married Man is a choice you have to make, a choice that has to come from the realization of the absurdness, setting your priorities right, changing your hobbies, doing a little mental exercise, and seeking good counsel. With these well done, dating a married man would not even be a thought in your mind not to talk of an act!
ALSO, READ SIGNS HE WANTS TO GET YOU IN BED
Signs your Wife will Never Leave You
When it comes to patience and tolerance in marriage women are known for it. They are more intentional in terms of keeping their marriage vows. Even when the Marital challenge is too much to bear, majority will still want to make their marriage work.
Generally, women are more emotional and concerned about having a blissful marriage. The thought of going through a divorce and having a failed marriage is very frustrating and it brings humiliation and shame to the woman more than the man.
If there’s anyone that will go to any length to make a home peaceful is the woman. Even if her husband is not giving her everything she needs or wants, there’s a sure probability that she will stay. Perhaps, you rarely have time for her anymore, and now you are scared that she might leave you. In this article, I will show you signs that she won’t leave you.
Sure signs that she won’t leave you
1. She will try to get your attention
If she is always doing anything possible to get your attention, or she wants to be around you all the time, it’s a sign that she still wants to keep you, she loves you and wants you around. She is not giving up on you yet.
2. She avoids quarrels
A very good sign that she won’t leave you is if she avoids every occasion of quarrels or fights. For instance, you just came back from work and your dinner is not ready, you start scolding her which she would have reacted to, but in this case, she quietly apologize and promise it will never reoccur.
She will avoid anything that will lead to quarreling and possibly cause her to leave you. She values you and will never leave you.
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3. She does everything to please you
If she always wants to please you or does things to please you and make you happy, it’s a sign she won’t leave you. She makes sure that what you want is always available, she doesn’t initiate anything that will cause provocation.
4. She compliments you
If she is always complimenting you, appreciates what you do, and compliments your handiwork, it’s also a sign that she won’t leave you. When a woman compliments her man, it simply means she values what he does and who he is.
5. She will confront you
If she confronts you about your attitude towards her. Perhaps you rarely give her attention or provide for her. She will confront you about your change in character and tell you how it’s affecting your relationship and why you should change so as to have a blissful marriage; because she cherishes what you guys have.
6. She will always be around you
Genuine love is unconditional, it doesn’t discriminate nor does it abandon you when the journey is tough. If she is always around you, it’s a good sign she won’t leave you, because she’s not giving up on you or your marriage.
7. She assures you of her love.
One of the obvious signs she won’t leave you is if she constantly assures you of her love for you. She will intentionally remind you of how she loves you and will always love you no matter the hurdles you guys might face.
8. She makes you feel important
Does she place you above others in her life? Does she seek your approval before she commences a project or she values your opinion more? Then it’s a surefire sign that she won’t leave you.
9. She is not ashamed of you
If she is not ashamed of you, and she is proud to show you off to her friends, it means she loves you dearly. Even if there’s something about you to be ashamed of, she will still be happy to be with you.
10. She flirts with you
If she is always flirting with you, or she dresses seductively just to make you guys intimate; It’s another sign that she still values what you guys share and will never leave you for another.
11. She always want to talk to you
If she initiates a conversation almost every time you are around, that is another sign. She will always talk about her day, her experience with people, her challenges, etc. She wants you guys to engage in an intimate discussion with her.
12. She is interested in your life
If she does everything to make your life perfect, it means she wants to stay. Does she ask you about your plans for yourself, future, career, and office challenges? It’s a good sign.
13. She includes you in her future plans
If she makes plans and includes you in her plans, it’s another sign she won’t leave you. Probably she makes a plan to build a house or plans to visit her family she will include you.
14. She plans for a marriage counseling
If you guys are having Marital issues, she will suggest you guys visit a marriage counselor that will help you find the cause of your marital problems and resolve it peacefully. This is a clear sign too.
15. She plans for a vacation
She will plan for a vacation so that you guys will be intimate and have time to spend with each other; so as to rekindle the love you once shared.
If your wife truly loves you, she will do everything in her power to keep the marriage.No matter the thorns she will always stick to you and stand by you to wipe away your tears. leaving you will be the last thing in her mind. But even if you are sure she will stay, don’t abuse or take advantage of her love for you and patience. There is also a limit to tolerance, show her all the love you can give and make her feel wanted. The more you care for her and value her, the more she will love you.
ALSO, READ What to Look for in a Wife TO MARRY
Signs Husband Likes Coworker
Your husband has left his old job just to get a new one and this is supposed to be in your own favor in order to bring joy to your home but suddenly you begin to have problems in your marriage. He barely has time for you anymore and he is always too conscious about work.
Although men naturally get distracted easily especially when they have a new job, they try to put in their best to get good approval. So most times they are engrossed in their work. But when he is so much concerned about his job, it could be that he is beginning to like his female colleague or he already likes one of them.
When you observe some fishy attitude about your husband or suspect his concern for a particular female co-worker, it’s better you confirm your suspicion before confronting him, you wouldn’t want to worsen the situation on ground. It’s unhealthy for you to face him when you are not yet sure.
Men hate to be interrogated especially when it’s something they are not guilty of.It shows you don’t trust him,they feel more relaxed in a more trustworthy relationship.
So before you confront him here are some signs to look out for if he really likes his female coworker beyond the ordinary:
Signs your husband likes a Female colleague
1. Investing more time in work
Although generally, men love to put in so much time in work. But when it exceeds some certain level it becomes a sign that should draw your attention. When your husband pays so much attention to his work far more than he does at home, it’s a sure sign that something is fishy.
2. Outdoor trips
An organization usually sends their staff for official trips to train them properly for their job. In the case of a man always going for official trips especially with a particular female colleague it’s very suspicious and there’s a tendency that he is having something with her.
Outdoor trips are usually not done regularly except there is a particular project on ground. So if you notice your husband is always on official outdoor trips, watch him closely.
3. Always well dressed for work
It’s quite okay for one to have a good dress sense. You dress the way you want to be addressed. It’s alright to dress fine ad look nice for work. Its what is expected as a staff of any organization.
When it comes to fashion women are always leading, though there are some fashionable men out there. If you observe your husband is so cautious of dressing, maybe he takes time to select clothes to wear, he changes his wardrobe, selects a very nice color designer’s tie, buys a new set of shoes, it could mean he wants to get a ladies’ attention. Especially if he was never the fashion type.
4. His Car Perfumes
If he gets a feminine perfume for his car it’s a sign he is up to something. Men rarely use female cologne, but when it comes to wooing a lady and getting her attention it’s one of the things they do.
5. Difference in his attitude
If you notice any changes in his attitudes towards you. For example, he shouts at you at every slightest provocation, or he gets irritated of your presence easily, complains of everything you do, scolds the kids often, complains of your looks, and always use abusive words or hurtful words just to taunt you, apparently he is attracted to someone.
6. Always mentioning the name of a coworker
You can talk about your colleagues when having a discussion with your spouse about work. It’s only wrong and questionable when you mention a particular colleague’s name of the opposite sex. So if you notice these attitudes it could be that he is attracted to his colleague.
7. Compares you with his female co-worker
If he is always comparing you to his female co-worker in terms of intellect or intelligent quotient, or other things she does, it simply means he prefers her to you. If your man truly appreciates you there shouldn’t be any reason for him to compare you with anyone.
This comparison comes up when he likes his colleague and admires her style because she now fits into his present spec.
10. He doesn’t introduce you to his colleague
Men are always happy to introduce their wives to their friends and colleagues at work. He does this to show her off and because he is proud of her and wants to show her to the world. One other sign he likes his female co-worker is if he doesn’t allow you to associate with his other colleagues at work.
11. Never takes you on work events
if he doesn’t allow you to attend office function with him especially when he is allowed to come with his it’s a sign too.
He won’t go with you because he doesn’t want you to be seen by his proposed crush or other colleagues. He prefers to keep you off from them.
12. Befriend his colleague’s wife
Rumors have a way of spreading, the best way to hear such rumors from his office is by befriending his colleague’s wife. She is in a good position to give you information about things that happens in the office.
These rumors should not be overlooked, they could be handy information you need to track him and get to know if he is cheating or not.
13. Always on the phone
When a man is always chatting, calling, texting, or sneaking out to answer calls, it’s a very clear sign he is liking a colleague. There should be openness and your husband should be free to answer his calls in your presence.
Secrets shouldn’t be kept in a relationship, no matter what. So if this occurs constantly it’s a sign he is cheating with his colleague.
14. Becomes Self-justifying and grumpy
This deals with justifying his actions even when he is wrong. If you tell him about something he is not doing right he flares up and gets irritated.
He is always grumpy and frowns at everything you do. If you notice these changes, it’s a sign that someone is getting his attention.
These signs will tell you if he likes a female co-worker or not and if he is drifting from you.If you notice these signs and many more, it’s most likely he is attracted to his female colleague. Then you can confront him about it carefully to avoid provocation and further issues.
ALSO, READ 10 CONFIRMED SIGNS OF JEALOUSY IN A MAN
10 Signs You’re Ready to Get Married
Description: One of the things many people fear is getting into marriage for the wrong reasons. Before you consider the idea, ensure you’re prepared to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. Here are ten signs you’re ready for marriage.
How do you know if you are ready to get married? (10 Signs)
Because of the excitement of meeting a person you love, you might feel ready for marriage after the first date. Knowing you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is an incredible feeling. But no matter how you feel, marriage is not something you should take lightly. Marriage requires a lot of work, compromise, and sacrifice to maintain the relationship. Anyone craving companionship must have a few things figured out before saying “I do.” While you can borrow from installment loan lenders for your wedding, it’s something you must think about critically.
Before committing, do some soul soul-searching to know who you are and what you want. Understand the things you can give your prospective spouse and what you expect from them. Being ready for marriage means you have figured out what you want in life and are prepared to be in a relationship where you contribute and compromise. Here are signs that will help you know you’re ready for married life.
1. You’re Psychologically Mature
Some people will realize they’re not ready for marriage after 5 years of dating, and this is okay. Just because you have been out there for a long time does not qualify you to get married. Maturity is an essential component that will keep your marriage going strong amid all the turbulence. There is no best age for marriage, and you should never fall for the pressure to get married because you’re approaching a certain age. However, there’s an optimum level of maturity that shows you’re emotionally ready for marriage.
Experts say that the brain does not reach peak development until the age of 27, especially the part of the brain linked with one’s ability to review long-term consequences and also compare options. Until you have a fully working brain able to assess situations correctly, you should not get married. This is a ready-for-marriage checklist you must complete as it influences your choice of mate and ultimately determines if you’ll have a successful relationship.
2.You Love Yourself
Knowing you’re ready for marriage after divorce can be confusing, as some people want to fill the void created by prior events. However, this is the time you should trackback and exercise self-love for healing. When you truly love yourself, you will easily give selfless love to others. The way you love yourself is how you teach other people to love you. Focusing on self-love before you get married is crucial as it helps you set standards that no person can undermine. Having respect for yourself means you cannot tolerate disrespect from anyone or abuse in a relationship.
Marriage comes with different stressors that test your resilience and patience. Failure to love yourself enough means it’s easy to feel lost during times of struggle. You get comfort knowing you adore yourself enough to be brave and conquer challenges in your marriage.
3. You’re Financially Stable
There are cases where you find a lady is ready for marriage, but the boyfriend is not. Some of these cases involve finances, as the boyfriend might not have attained the financial stability they believe is sufficient to take care of a family. Looking at your finances, are you ever ready for marriage? There are many perks you get from marriage if both of you are bringing income to the family. Before getting started, both of you need to evaluate your financial situation to know if it can sustain a marriage.
Money is a critical component of marriage that could make or break the relationship. Also, you don’t want to use marriage as a way to get rich as this could attract consequences later. Besides your wedding, the beginning of your marriage costs a lot – from kitchen equipment and furniture to a place to stay. Discuss finances with your partner to find common ground and understand how you can sustain the marriage if you decide to go ahead.
4. You Truly Love Your Partner
Love is among things you must confirm is present before you start thinking about how to get ready for a marriage proposal. You must love your partner for everything they are. Their personality is unique and different, so don’t attempt to change it when you get married. It’s something you need to accept and respect before you proceed with a marriage. It’s easy to tell about one’s character by looking at how they treat others. Know if they’re kind, and don’t ignore red flags that could blow up later in the marriage.
Looking at all things, you should ensure your partner is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Avoid falling for illusions of false expectations and face reality, which means asking yourself if you truly love that person.
5. Your Values Align
If you’re ready for marriage but your partner’s not, it could mean your values don’t align, which is a sign you should not go ahead with the plan. Having values that align makes your lives easier in the future. You need to be comfortable discussing taboo topics like sex, finance, and religion. Ladies ready for marriage should check that they’re comfortable discussing sensitive topics with their partners, as this will make it easier to know what to expect in the future. If there are clashes whenever some issues are brought up, it could mean you’ll endure stress in the marriage. People who share the same values protect their relationship from disappointment, clashes, and resentment. Values define people. It’s not something you can change overnight. They show the things you place much significance to.
6.If you Trust Yourself Around Your Partner
Getting ready for marriage in a dream is easy as everything feels smooth, but before accepting to get married, ask yourself if you feel safe around your partner. This is like a situation where a friend brings life to the party, but everyone feels the void when they leave, and the event gets dull. If you’re considering getting married, you must address topics like whether you trust the person to give you what you need to feel loved and at peace.
You must have already touched on topics that could shake the stability of the relationship. If it feels necessary to hide your true self because you fear your partner would never accept or love you for that, then it could be you’re not dating the right person. Marriage is a long-term investment, and nobody deserves to suffer in silence or suppress some aspects about themselves.
7. You Overcome Conflict Together
Is anyone ever ready for marriage until they go through conflict with their partner? This comes as a learning moment where you get to understand how it feels to deal with conflict and moments of high pressure. Marriage is not always lovey-dovey as you will encounter moments where you will split apart for some time.
Forgiveness is one of the main dimensions of a stable marriage, so when you experience this while still dating, it could signify you can live together for many years to come. Couples must learn conflict resolution before entering into a marriage. Handling conflict successfully brings marital satisfaction.
ALSO, READ 12 Steps to Increase Your Self-Esteem
8.You Have Realistic Expectations
You’ll not find a perfect human if that’s what you want for marriage. If you have lived with your partner for some time, you might be aware of this. So, before getting married, understand that besides many happy times, you will encounter sad moments. It’s common to see people expect the perfect type of love they read in all the fairies, but this is unrealistic as you’re dealing with a real human being. Check the lingering doubts of marrying the person to understand the trade-offs.
9.You’re Inspired to Succeed
Sometimes, it’s easy to feel you’ve found the perfect person, so all you need is to relax and enjoy life. However, feeling settled and not aiming to improve is something you should be aware of. Having the inspiration to reach greater heights comes from an inner calling. It means just because you finally found your true love; it should not mean you should neglect other things, like your job, purpose, or mental and physical health. These are things that should stay with you even after marriage. You should not let the relationship make you forget about your ability to stay hungry for success.
10.You Support Each Other’s Hobbies
If you never fancied fly fishing, but this is something your partner enjoys, you should support their passion and try learning a bit about it. You will discover many interesting things and probably also find happiness doing those things.
Marriage marks an important transition in one’s life, so it must be approached carefully as you expect to spend your life with your partner. Finding the right person for marriage is not enough as you also need to evaluate yourself to know if you’re ready for marriage. Consider these things before you get married to improve your chances of success.
How do you handle conflicts in your relationship? Leave a comment below.
Jade is a finance analyst and has been involved in many successful business projects with a range of companies throughout the country. She started writing 3 years ago and enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of finances, budgeting, money advice, lifestyle, and wellness. Jade loves to spend time with her family and has many hobbies, including hiking, riding a bike, cooking, and traveling.
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