Last Updated on August 15, 2022 by Joshua Isibor
Who is a Narcissist?
A NARCISSIST is a Person full of egoism and pride. One who shows extreme love and admiration for oneself. He appreciates himself more than others, they feel more important and valuable and he is always boastful.
Narcissist wants everyone to feel their presence, they announce their achievement and desires constant Compliments. They are easily irritated, everything to them is a competition, and they never accept defeat and will always want to prove their actions right.
The hallmark about them is that they assume a lot and always push the blame on another even if the mistake is coming from them. They are termed “pocket lawyers” because they always defend their actions.
Narcissism as an attitude causes someone to be so concerned with their own demands or wants that they don’t even take note, or intentionally decide to ignore, the desires and emotions of others. Narcissism is similar to the need for reverence or appreciation and external approval Almost everybody is narcissistic at times. For example, a mother might ignore the needs of her child because she is applying makeup to appear good and be admired by others or to get her husband’s attention.
When narcissism is a strong model of attitude that defines someone’s personality, they may be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Persons who live or work with a narcissist may be abused and neglected. Sometimes someone with NPD involves in gaslighting trying to make a victim of abuse question their reality. This can be a harmful occurrence that kills relationships, self-esteem, and even the whole workplace or family.
NPD is difficult to treat because few persons with narcissism gladly agree to seek treatment. Yet people dealing with the result of interacting with a narcissist can and do get better with adequate help and strong boundaries. A therapist can assist you to understand how other people’s narcissism affects you and then work with you to avoid that relationship from destroying your mental health.
CAUSES OF NARCISSIST TRAIT
1 For people with NPD, the narcissistic traits they possess are fixed. While it is not completely understood how someone becomes a narcissist, there are some common family issues, many of which can be noticed:
⭐ From early puberty.
⭐ A parent who gave excessive pampering in childhood years.
⭐ They might come from a broken home, having abandonment issues that force them to rely only on themselves,
” Vicelich says. “These people have substituted the lack of love and support from a parent by overemphasizing their self-worth. Narcissistic personality disorder seems to affect more males than females.”
But even if the names of popular narcissists are headlined by dictators and cult leaders, not all who possess the common traits are inspired by fame or money. It’s important to note this difference while dating. If you concentrate too much on the stereotype, you will often miss the warning signals that are not directly pointing to vanity or greed.
“Some narcissists may be of the communal variation and commit their lives to assist people,” Vicelich explains. “They are grandiosely altruistic martyrs, self-sacrificing and big-noting themselves at all times. And they are highly introverted, or vulnerable narcissists. These individuals feel they are more temperamentally sensitive than others. They react poorly to gentle criticism and need constant reassurance. Narcissists feel higher than others and they are not contempt with themselves as a person.”
SIGNS YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST
1. They looked attractive at first
A narcissistic personality disorder is not the same as self-confidence or self-absorbed. When a person displays so many selfies on their dating profile account or talks about themselves often on a first date, you might say they are a narcissist.
A real narcissist is a person with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It’s a mental health condition characterized by:
1. An increased sense of importance
2. A deep need for excessive attention and adoration
3.No sympathy for people
4. Always having troubled relationships
“What it leads to says licensed therapist Rebecca Weiler, LMHC, is selfishness at the (usually extreme) expense of others, plus the inability to consider others’ feelings at all.”
NPD, like other mental health or personality disorders, is not good or bad “Narcissism falls on the apparition,” explains Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish, author of “The Self-Aware Parent.”
It might have started as a fairy tale. Maybe they send text messages often, or told you they loved you within the first month, “Something love experts refer to as “love bombing.”
They might tell you how smart, clever, and intelligent you are, or maybe how compatible you guys are even if you are just started dating.
“Narcissists feel they deserve someone more special and that only such people are the ones that will value them better.
But immediately you do something that exasperates them, they could pick on you.
And most times you wouldn’t know what you did, “How narcissist behaves towards you actually has nothing to do with you and anything to do with their own [beliefs].”
2. They make the conversation, about themselves.
“Narcissists always love to discuss their achievement and Success in a pompous manner,” says psychotherapist Jacklyn Krol, LCSW, of Mind Rejuvenation Therapy. “They behave like that because they want to feel better and above others and also create a better impression of themselves.
They are too engrossed in saying things about themselves to listen to what you have to say. They would never engage in a conversation concerning you.
3. They always seek compliments
Narcissists may appear like they have self-confidence, but the truth is most individuals with NPD really have low self-esteem. “They need a little appreciation and if they don’t get it, they will seek for it.
They always rely on people’s validation even if they tend not to show it. People’s compliment means a lot to them and will always desire compliment to feel adored because of their low self-esteem.
“The major difference between confident persons and those with NPD is that narcissists need people to adorn and adore them and hype themselves up only by bringing people down. Two things people with high self-confidence or self-esteem never do.
4. They lack empathy
Lack of empathy, or inability to feel how someone else is feeling, is one of the hallmark features of a narcissist.
“Narcissists cannot make you feel important or recognized, valued, understood, approved, or appreciated because they don’t comprehend or appreciate the idea of emotions”.
Does your spouse listen to you when you have a quarrel or fight with a friend or colleague, or when you try to complain about something that makes you unhappy? If no, then that’s a red flag, why? because a narcissist can never notice your feelings or take them seriously they can never sympathize with you.
5. They rarely have long-term friends
Many narcissists rarely have long-term, real friends. When you observe you notice that they only have acquittance. No close friends that they have been with for long.
Because of this attitude of theirs they might blow out of proportion when you want to hang out with your friends. They accuse you of not spending enough time with them and query you about the kind of friends you have.
When someone is wondering if they’re dating a narcissist, they generally aren’t thinking, “Do they have NPD?” They’re wondering if how they’re being treated is healthy and sustainable in the long run. Please avoid diagnosing your conversation partner. Rather, read on to gain some view into the health of your relationship.
You’re here because you’re worried, and that concern is real if your health is at stake. If you think these signs fit, we’ll also give you tips on how to manage the condition.
Questions to ask yourself
🌟 How does your partner handle people they do not need anything from?
🌟 Does your spouse have any long-term friends?
🌟 Do they always talk of wanting revenge or repercussions?
6. They always complain about anything you do
At first, it might feel like teasing…. but it goes beyond that or becomes often.
Out of the blues, it turns from what you eat to what you wear, watch on TV and the friends you hang out with, and even the places you visit.
“They will crack very expensive jokes that are not funny, insult you, hurt your feelings, and may hit you hard. Their goal is to make you feel low about yourself, and reduce “yourself worth” because it makes them feel powerful and superior.
A narcissist loves reaction because it makes them feel they have the power to affect someone’s emotions. They want you to believe that they are far better than you and you are nothing compared to them.
7. They gaslight you
Gaslighting is a way of influence and emotional perversion, and it’s a distinguishing characteristic of a narcissist. Narcissists may eject harshly lies, wrongly accuse people, rotate the truth, and extremely misshapen your reality.
SIGNS OF GASLIGHTING
1. You are no longer your usual self.
2. You become less confident and you feel more curious and nervous.
3. You usually think if you’re too serious or easily angered.
4 . You think you are always at fault.
5. You feel you made a mistake when things don’t go on well.
6 You are always sorry.
7. You feel that all is not well but you can’t figure out what it is.
8. You are always worried if you address your partner right.
9. You always defend your partner even if he is wrong.
They manipulate you to feel this way just to feel superior and belittle you, you see yourself always willing to please them even at your expense, and they don’t even care how you feel or if you are affected by their actions.
8. They can’t come out straight to define the relationship.
If your partner exhibits some of the warning signs then it’s a red flag. Some narcissists may want to have an intimate relationship so that they can enjoy the emotional, sexual, and caring benefits. They won’t commit but they want to get the best from the relationship.
You might even notice that they flirt or admire others like your family, friends, etc. If you complain they might lash at you and take it as a reason to break up with you.
9. They believe they are always right and won’t apologize
Quarreling with a narcissist is a waste of time, they never admit to their fault, they won’t apologize and they make you miserable. You even get exhausted and fed up talking to them.
A narcissist doesn’t take responsibility for their actions, reason because they won’t surrender or agree, they don’t want to feel inferior to others. They lack self-control, and the best way to ignore them is to avoid fighting back.
10. They get worried when you talk about a breakup
A narcissist will always panic when you threaten them with a breakup, they will try everything possible to keep you in their lives. They will pretend to have changed, be loving, caring, and even manipulate you.
The fact remains that, they can’t accept defeat or someone abandoning them, so they decide to leave on their own. They want to be seen as the winner and not the loser.
11. Once you are serious with the break up they react blatantly.
When you insist to break up with them, they get so angry and would hurt and torment your life for leaving them.
They might even say something bad at your back, steal your friends, or start dating someone immediately to make you feel bad or jealous. To them, a good image means a lot, and won’t allow anyone to jeopardize that.
Other characteristics could be:
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