Knowing what you want is the first step to getting it, but that’s easier said than done. Sometimes we think we know what’s best for us and make mistakes out of sheer blindness. It’s one thing when those mistakes affect only us, but when they hurt other people, it’s time to step on the brake. Those mistakes are often related to dating.
This article will help you train yourself to spot red flags telling you to avoid getting into a serious relationship. Being in the period of your life when flings suit you better than love isn’t a problem. The problem occurs when someone who’d be better in a fling starts a committed relationship. It inevitably leads to pain, usually for everyone included. So, read carefully. The next words will help you be happier with your dating life.
1. You Are Constantly Occupied by Work
Balancing work and personal life is a skill not everybody has. The first step on the long path of mastering it is to decide the priority. Don’t force yourself into a committed relationship if work gets on top. To build a successful career, one has to invest many hours and even more energy. The same is valid for love. It doesn’t just happen. It takes work. And working hard on both of those aspects of life is tiring. In the end, you can expect one of the two scenarios:
- your work will suffer – taking the focus off work will make you less efficient and slow your progress in the field;
- everything else will suffer – keeping the focus on work and trying to build a meaningful relationship will hurt you and your partner.
In the end, it’s better to give yourself enough time to focus on work and then, when you’re happy with that, start looking for love. Until then, engaging in flings is the best way to take your mind off work without causing pain to anyone. If you have trouble seeking hookup partners, don’t panic; it’s really easy to stay focused on your career and still arrange hot flings nowadays. All thanks to the internet and the opportunities it brings. It is enough now to ask yourself a question, “Where can I find a one-night stand near me?“ and leave the hard work to technologies.
Thousands of dedicated platforms and dating websites were created for this purpose, and thanks to the development of the online dating scene, it seems that arranging one-night stands on the web became the safest and most secure way of seeking new partners. Even the toughest workaholics can log in to a dating platform of their choice, scroll some profiles of local people seeking quick dates, and arrange to meet after work or on the weekend. There is no commitment, no hard feelings, and no need to wait and beat around the bush to relieve some stress.
2. Monogamy Is Not for You
Taking time until you get ready for a serious relationship is ok. It’s ok if you never become prepared for monogamy. Not everybody wants to grow old with the same partner or spend date nights on the couch. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t stop dreaming about all the hot singles you see every day. Some claim that monogamy isn’t natural anyway.
Forcing yourself to be with only one person might cause you more harm than good. You’d feel like an evil person for fantasizing about other people. Or, if you cheat, your mind might torture you. If you’re ok with cheating, it will still hurt your partner. So it’s better to be honest with yourself and go for the type of relationship that suits your personality. It doesn’t matter if you’re starting conversations offline or on dating sites, don’t seek things you don’t want. Especially if you’re familiar with the following flag on our list.
3. You Think You Need a Partner to Fix Your Life
For some people, it’s natural to think they need a committed partner to fix their lives. In all cases, that’s not true. Most problems we have come from within, and no one else can solve them. Dealing with issues making you so weak that you need someone by your side all the time is more important than being in a relationship.
No one except you can’t fix your life. Starting a relationship with that goal means you’re hiding problems from yourself. When another relationship doesn’t work out, you can always blame it on the other person. But if you focus on your problems (and stick to hookups), you’re the only one to blame for your issues. Yes, it’s scary, but that’s life.
4. You Don’t Actually Know What You Want
When you don’t know what you want, jump into a committed relationship. We probably don’t have to tell you that’s not a smart move. Adding responsibility to the feeling of not knowing what to do is a bad idea. It puts pressure on you to work on a relationship that shouldn’t exist. So if you don’t have everything planned, don’t worry. Enjoy casual flings with people you meet in bars, online, in parks, or anywhere else. Enjoy life; everything will become clear to you when the time comes.
5. Responsibilities Scare You Like Hell
Some people know they want a serious relationship but are scared of responsibilities, so they jump between flings. Their friends and family may think that’s childish. But that’s a mature thing to do when you think about it. It would be immature to go around breaking hearts because they can’t deal with responsibilities in a relationship.
6. You Aren’t Over Your Previous Relationship
One of the main (and the worst) reasons to start a committed relationship is trying to get over your ex. Millions make that mistake every day (it’s often combined with number 3 from this article). Then they start comparing their new partners with their exes, making everyone included miserable. The much better way to get over the ex is to engage in flings. A lot of them. And we’re living in the modern world. No one judges people committed to not committing.
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