Getting people to like you should be something under your control and it is a matter of emotional intelligence or emotional quotient. It is something you can work for without undergoing too much stress. It is not luck but understanding how humans’ behaviors work.
Sometimes, it seems like we don’t get along with people especially at our work places, meeting or groups even among our family members and friends too. One thing you have to know is, everyone is not going to like you but there are qualities you can still possess that can get people to you.
However, that should not be a problem cause there are certain things which you can do to make everyone to like you and here are some practical ways to do that.
The 42 practical ways to make someone like you
1. LOVE YOURSELF
Self love is the first thing you need to do before getting anyone to like you. You have to accept your personality, your imperfect being, your weakness, your fears. Accepting yourself build self-confidence. Don’t ever hide your personality, nobody wants to be around someone who keeps on blaming nature or their creators for what or who they are.
Be proud of yourself and treat yourself right. This will make people see you as someone who knows the value of being contented with what you have and who you are.
Naturally, this will help you stay strong around people and help you feel at ease when associating with them. Instead of changing your true being just to be accepted by people who don’t worth it while not work on your flaws and adjust a little.
If you want to get people to like you, you have to show interest in them first. You don’t expect them to come to you, if you don’t pay attention to them. Don’t be that person that walks about showing people that you don’t even need them or they don’t worth your time.
Show them that you are easy to approach and talk to. You need to make a move first and show them you care about them, like what they do and try to come around them.
Try to be the first to initiate conversation. You might start with little greetings like: Hi, hello, to create room for them to talk to you too. Try to make friends with them first before asking about the little things that happen in their lives. Know how they are doing? Ask about their family? work? Their kids? Their interests? People feel happy when they are being ask about those little things.
Show them that you care and don’t go overboard trying to know everything. Make it look like you really understand them cause you are wearing the same shoes. It should come from within, don’t try to force it.
Eye contact is very important during a conversation. According to the 50/70 rule, it stated that: “while having conversation, you should maintain an eye contact for 50 percent while speaking and 70 percent while listening.” This helps to display your interest in the other person and your confidence.
When making an eye contact, do it in a relaxed way that the other person won’t feel intimidated but feel at ease and connected to you.
This is the key in winning people towards you and they will always find ways to come around you.
4. ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM.
Try to show your interest in knowing them. Ask questions related to them. Don’t keep talking about yourself, the things you have done. Try to give them the chance to talk about themselves. Let them be the one to ask you about yours and don’t say much. Just show that all you are interested in is about them and not yours.
This will give them the room to share with you what they have done, their plans and what they would love to achieve more in the future.
Asking questions can initiate friendship and bring you closer to them and this will make them to like you more.
5.LISTEN TO THEM
Be that person that gives his/ her attention to people when they are talking. Let them share their own stories. And always try to ask questions and use non-verbal words when talking to them.
This will show them that you are paying attention to what they are saying and you are interested to know more.
Who doesn’t like to feel special? That’s why compliment works best in our lives. People love it when they are being complimented for little things they do. It might be their achievement, position, new car, looks, hairstyles, skills and so on.
When doing this, just try to be real. Let it come from your heart and avoid exaggerating over nothing. Let the person see that you are saying the truth and not just to stay around.
Always smile when talking to people. You don’t have to carry you problem around and be scary for no reason. You don’t expect to talk to you when you are frowning. Hey! Nobody wants to get along with a ghost. We are not your problem so you better don’t show those attitudes that can chase people away from you.
Smiling at people will only make them feel relaxed and see that you are on good spirits to talk. This is a perfect accessory to get to people’s heart and win their love.
Even if you don’t feel like to smile just give them a signal that you really care about them just that you are not in a good mood and do it in a friendly manner.
8. BE HONEST
Honesty is the best policy. It is a strong foundation to build a relationship. This is the best medicine you can give to people around you and it brings trust.
Peradventure, you might be tempted to impress someone and you go overboard telling lies which is obvious to people. This will make people see you as a liar. Which we make them not to trust your words cause they can’t differentiate your lies from truth. Always take your time to feel free when dealing with people and don’t go messing yourself up.
At the same time, don’t try to be transparent because you are being honest. Don’t share every details about you because you want to have their trust especially when you are not ready to do that.
9. FIND YOUR SHARED VALUES AND SIMILARITIES.
Finding people who shared the same values and similarities with you can easily bring you closer to them. Connecting to those that have the same values with you will only boost your relationship with them and get them to like you more.
On the other hand, similarity is a key that can connect you to people of the same interest. Whether it is a skill sets, traits, lifestyles and values you possessed. According to study by Theodore Newcomb, he stated that: “ people are more attracted to those who are similar to them which is known has similarity- attraction effect.”
It is a simple explanation that works like electricity. It gives you room to learn, teach, understand and feel more connected to them as well as, belonging to their world. This is another way of making people to like you and partner with you.
Always try to be honest with your values and don’t change yourself all because you want to get involved with people. Find out what your values are and know who fits in with them.
10. TRY TO DISPLAY POSTIVE EMOTIONS
Positive vibes attract positive people while negative vibes attract their kinds. Though, you might have your bad days but staying positive is the only way to keep yourself on track.
According to research from Ohio University and the university of Hawaii, it shows that people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them. This happens because people can possibly mimic others’ movement, talks, facial expressions which can turn them into feeling the similar things they feel.
Try not to complain about how bad things are in your life but show them that it is bound to happen and it will go on its own. Don’t let them see you whining and blaming others for your back luck.
Show them you are optimistic about them. This way, they will notice how relaxed you are in handling your problem, and this will push them to stay around you more.
11. ADMIT YOUR WEAKNESS
Everyone has their weakness, this is what makes us unique. Our weakness should not make us feel bad but gives us the room to adjust them. Admitting your weakness makes you more likeable and it brings you to people who will always accept who you are no matter how bad they are.
Admit you have a weakness and let them know that you are trying your best to adjust them. It is not something you should be ashamed of. You might even talk about them and let people suggest few solutions and help you out…
12. BE LIVELY AND TELL STORIES.
Have you met someone for the first time and the way they keep talking to you look like you have known them for ages? They are people like that, they love sparking up happiness everywhere they are.
Don’t be the type that people don’t want to stay around you. You can crack some jokes or make them laugh. Just start something people want to hear and this will attract more people into liking you. You can tell them stories about mysterious things, create the room for suspense and let them ask questions to show that they want to hear more.
Good stories win here, so be good at it and don’t fake what you can’t finish. You can start with real stories, twist it small and end well.
13. DON’T BE TOO NARCISSISTIC
Yes, I said you should love yourself but don’t be a jerk! You can’t be proud and still want people to come around you. Stop giving that signal of “I am this, I am that, I have this.” Nobody wants to stay where someone feels more important than others.
Even if you are, don’t go about exaggerating on things you have achieved or try to be in control of everything cause you think you can only associate with people with equal class. This will make people to see you as someone who doesn’t fit to be with.
14. BE YOURSELF.
Hey! Don’t change yourself for anyone or anything. I know you want people to like you but this is not the right thing to do. Probably, you are scared of what others will say about you. Yes! Not everybody will like you no matter how you do it.
Rather, find the same group of people that help to improve your image and who you are. Changing yourself will leave a signal of “being so desperate” to cling to people. Be yourself and let this feeling flows naturally.
15. TRY TO HELP
Helping people is another way to boost your own happiness and people around us. The little things you do for people leaves a thousand prints in their hearts. Study proves that helping people boost happiness, increases life satisfaction, provides a sense of living and increase competency.
It might not be only giving out money but helping them to find solutions to their problems, spend time with them and ensure them that you are always there. This builds a stronger community which is hard to break and people will like you more.
16. CARE FOR THEM
Always care for people in need and also those who don’t know what to do in life. Be that person, who wants to add value to people. Show them that you are the right one to share their pains, happiness, emotional problems etc. Try to remember the important details of their lives, celebrate with them, be there in their bad times, let them see you care genuinely and not after what they will give in return or have.
17. BE AVAILABLE
Sometimes, it seems like we are damned busy with life activities. Yes, life is also busy itself but we still make out time for people will love. It might not be only for your loved ones but people you hardly stay close with.
They might need your help and you are nowhere to be found. Don’t be that person, who wants to care but don’t have time to act. Probably, you might have the solution but you are always not available.
18. SEEK FOR ADVICE FROM THEM
People love someone who ask for their opinions whenever something crops up. They always want to be in charge of giving out what they have. You might use this method to get close to them but don’t act as if you are so desperate to listen to them. Let they give you what they have and you choose what is good for you.
19. DON’T BE TOO CLINGY
Like I said earlier, don’t act so desperate over trying to get them around. Nobody wants to keep a clingy person around. Let it comes from within and call yourself back if you notice you are going out of lane.
20. OPEN UP
This is tricky! If you don’t open up, you might not build that strong connection with other people. And if you open up too much, people see you as someone who can’t keep a secret. Just know that, this comes with trust and how long you have known them.
On the other hand, you don’t have to be too open if you are not ready. Don’t do things you will regret. Only say what is related to what they are discussing. Maybe, the other person might be shy to talk, initiate first and give room for the other person to talk too.
21. RELAX AND MAKE THEM FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND YOU.
Don’t be a prick! You heard me? If you are an easy-going someone, everybody can tell. It is like a natural law that exists. And this will make people to like you more.
Just relax and don’t fidget over nothing. Take your time and chat with them. Avoiding checking the time or going through your phones or try to cut the other person out. Take it as an opportunity to relax yourself and feel at ease.
22. DON’T BE QUICK TO JUDGE.
Judging people will only give you the bad name. This is inevitable to us, humans. We are quick to point fingers without knowing the real truth; We go for the results instead of what actually happened or the cause.
Know that we have our bad and good sides and people tend to stay with people who show them their good sides.
What you focus on, grows with you. Just find their good sides and focus on using them whenever you are.
Study shows that when you talk about the good sides of people, they will always come around you.
23. FOLLOW UP
I can say that we all are guilty of this. I am jerk when it comes to following people up. I might save your number and still not call no matter how many times I have promised to do so. Not like I don’t want to do that but I always forget to follow up.
Now, I have realized how important it is to build a strong relationship. If I don’t call, I might leave a text. This is a way to show people you value them and have them in mind. If you find it too hard to do, just take a book and write out days to call and whom to call. This will give them room to remember you always.
24. ALWAYS GIVE
Don’t go with the title “the taker” instead of the giver. Always think of how to help not what to take from people. When you give, don’t expect anything in return. Give as if you are helping out or as donation.
Don’t wait for someone to ask before you give. Give out what is needed. It might be your time, energy, effort, money and attention. Put other before yourself has God said. Make sacrifices and sow seed of faith in people.
25. HAVE INTEGRITY
Self-respect should be your first thing in life. If you don’t have respect for yourself, nobody is going to do the same. Let your words and actions align with your principles, values, and personality. Don’t be the one who say something and act another. People love integrity and will always love you if you have one.
26. DON’T PUSH THE BLAME
Pushing the blame on others will make people to see you as a timid, who can’t stand up for himself/herself but look for ways to push it on others. Even if you are not the one at fault, just find a way to settle it. Nobody wants to be blamed even if they are at fault. Try to control it cause it seems like a habit that eats deep inside us
27. SHOW THAT YOU HAVE THEIR BEST INTEREST AT HEART
If you see who really wants to see you succeed, you won’t think twice to flock around them. People appreciate those that are there for them and wish them well. Show them that you have their best interest at heart and you will always support their dreams.
28. ARGUE SMARTLY
Don’t be the person that throw out anything whenever you are arguing or angry. Know when it is necessary to butt in or if the topic worth your time. Always act based on the truth and try not to lose your tamper over what will make you lose your relationship.
29. LEARN TO TRUST
Trust is one thing we need in our relationship. Though, it is hard to trust but this is workable. If you can’t trust, it will be hard for someone to trust you. Truthfully, trusting should be moderate, don’t go overboard with it. Know when it is necessary and don’t give in everything because you want to get someone to like you back.
30. MIRROR THEM.
Sometimes, try to mirror their behaviors; the way they talk, walk, tone, body gestures and so on. You can just act like them and remember not to limit yourself for anything or change your belief.
31. STAY HUMBLE
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” Ephesians 4:2
Being arrogant won’t take you to anywhere rather, it will make you more stupid around people. Just don’t let your accomplishments intimidate people but let them see that no matter what you got, you are not superior to them.
32. BEING HYGIENIC
Always be clean and smell nice and don’t go around wearing unkempt clothes. Dress well, cut or plat your hairs, iron your clothes, spread your body deodorant and look classic. You might teach other how to dress well too. This helps to make people to like you well.
33. DON’T NAG OR CRITICIZE.
Criticism is not a bad thing but it depends on the situation it comes up. Telling people their bad side is good but it depends on the way you are doing it. Try to start with a positive note, maybe you can find where to fix the bad ones and end up in a good way.
Don’t be so rude or throw out words without mincing them. You can find ways to construct them just to avoid hurting others’ feelings.
Nagging can only bring hatred towards you. Don’t go about nagging over nothing even if you are right. Find ways to settle your issues rather than nagging.
34. GIVE CREDIT
Always put other in the spotlight, make them feel honored. Appreciate their ideas and celebrate them success.
35. LEARN TO FORGIVE AND KNOW WHEN TO APOLOGISE
Forgive always, this is the key to be free and feel more relaxed than ever. Though, it is not easy to forget, you might feel so bad but know when to control the feelings.
Learn to apologise when you make a mistake. Nobody is above mistake cause we are humans. Always try to accept apology from others even when it is hard. You can just leave the place, take your time and forgive.
36. VALIDATION MATTERS
Let them be heard of their own opinion. Don’t cut in when they are talking, even if they are making a false statement. Show them you understand their points and find ways to correct them.
37. DON’T FORCE THE CONVERSATION
The best thing to do is to relax while talking, don’t force it or try to act so desperately over some issues while talking.
38. USE BODY LANGUAGE
Body languages are the best gestures for communication. Feel free to touch them, tap them and use signs while expressing yourself.
39. DON’T BE CHEAP
Don’t allow your likability be the reason of being cheap. You can act normal but not as if you must get people to like you.
40. DON’T TRY TO CHANGE OR COMPARE THEM.
They said, if you want people to love you, let them be who they are. Changing someone is not good or making someone to change just to fit in your mold. Never try to compare people with anybody. This will leave you hanging in air.
41. GIVE GIFT
You can buy gifts for them. Maybe, when they are celebrating their success, birthdays and so on. You can also give them a little things at ordinary days when nothing special is happening. This will boost your relationship with people and make them to love you more.
42. DON’T BE BOSSY
Being bossy will scared people away from you. So, know when you are taking charge or controlling everything around you. Be cautious of your attitudes and always apologise when you do that.
Always be yourself and don’t look so desperate when getting people to like you. It will come to you if you apply all these into your life. It is workable and achievable. Don’t limit yourself for anybody, know when you are going out of hand. Slowly connect and you will see people liking you back.
ALSO, READ How to fall in love? ( 13 WAYS)