Last Updated on March 4, 2021 by Joshua Isibor

Do Ladies Really contribute anything in a Relationship?

What do ladies actually contribute in a relationship? This is the kind of question most men keep on asking themselves silently.  The guys are the ones who are paying the bills, calling, texting, and doing most of the work in the relationship. When these guys can not give any sensible answer to this question, some end up thinking their girlfriends are ‘gold diggers’. It looks funny but it’s not in reality.

Apart from guys, girls do wonder too. They feel they are just there in the relationship to satisfy the man’s sexual desires. I was talking to a girl on how she doesn’t owe her boyfriend sex, that she could continue to practice abstinence if that’s what she wants. However, that didn’t sound too convincing to her, no wonder she quickly blurted out and said to me. “If I don’t give him sex, what then will I be doing for him in the relationship? I cannot take over his role of paying the bills!”

I knew where that was coming from because before that time, I use to think like her. Therefore I understood her. First and foremost, you don’t ‘give’ sex to someone, you ‘share’ sex with someone. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both partners, not just the guy. Consequently, if sex is the only thing you feel you can ‘give’ to your boo. It means you weren’t giving or contributing anything in the relationship in the first place.

With this said, the question is now more complex. If sex is not what I contribute in a relationship then what? Your partner is a human being and he is your friend too. Let’s look at it this way, what are my responsibilities to my friends? Our close friends expect us to be there for them, check up on them always, support them, and encourage them. Just as they would normally do for us. Similarly to what you do for your close friends, you do just that and more for your partner. Am going to run a quick list of things you can do for your partner to spice up things in your relationship.

 6 Thing a lady can contribute to a relationship asides sex

1.EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Just like you, your partner could find himself in a situation were he needs a back to lean on or someone to talk to. You are his friend too and should be able to make yourself available to fill that void.

Encourage him when he is down. He told he just got fired, don’t come up with bills you have to pay! Sit him down instead and encourage him, tell him things will be okay! When your partner opens up to you, it means he feels comfortable with you. Don’t push that away! Be there for him when he needs you! In doing this, you are giving him the emotional and mental strength to carry on.

2.REASSURANCE

In relationships, we want to always know that we are always in our partner’s mind. We want to be assured of their love and commitment. Men also need this. When guys truly love their women, it makes them crave for their partner’s commitment, attention, reassurance, and love. Do something nice, send them a text telling them how much you love and value them. Sometimes place a call just to hear from them. Tell them you miss them and can’t wait to see them. They will certainly be assured of your love.

3.SUPPORT

There will come a time when your partner will need help, it could be financial, it could be his laundry or making dinner. Your boyfriend has been busy this week and his house is a mess, don’t just walk away from it.

Clean that mess. He is working out so late and hasn’t gotten anything to eat, cook him a meal! His electric fan got bad, you can call and pay the electrician to come fix it. Support him in any way you can. And as you know, he would be grateful for that.

4.BE HIS FRIEND

Have you seen guys together? They either play a video game, football, or talk about the Champion’s league. Sometimes when a man truly loves you, he would want to hang out with you other than his pals. Maybe he wants to watch the Champion’s league with you or grab a bottle of beer. Don’t just sit there bored, make it fun, laugh at his jokes, chip in one or two words. Play chess or soccer with him if you can too. With this, you are creating an atmosphere of happiness and fun for you both.

5.BE HIS PARTNER

Many people usually think men are always looking for women that they can ‘control’ not a partner. That is not true, especially those men who truly love the women in their life. These men actually love it when their partners inspire and challenge them to grow. They trust their partner’s judgment, no wonder they can seek counsels and guidance from them. Men know they are not Superman! At any point in your relationship, when your partner needs your opinions or counsels, give them yours. Inspire your man and challenge him to be better!

6. GIFT HIM TOO!

Yes, you are not the only one who needs a birthday surprise or a gift! Just like anyone else, men love gifts too! If you can, take him on a surprise dinner date, gift him a watch or a T-shirt. Whatever you can do, just do it! Show your partner how much you care and love him too!

Sometimes the greatest things are the little things. When a relationship ends, a man can quickly forget the hot sex he had. However, he cannot forget the genuine loving support a partner once rendered. He couldn’t forget how you inspired him to start his business or helped him to relocate. The relationship doesn’t have to end before he notices the effects you are having on him. When he takes a careful look at his life before and after you became part of the picture, he will be grateful to you. He didn’t just have a girlfriend but a partner for life!

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