Growing up I used to think that affairs only happen in unhappy relationships. How could two people be happy with each other, love each other and one partner cheats on the other? Personally, I feel the two are not correlating. However, as I got older, saw a lot of things, and experienced a little for myself, I started understanding that I wasn’t really right. Okay, good one! so if people are happy and okay in their relationships why should they cheat, I mean, seriously why?
First and foremost, cheating is something that’s very painful and heartbreaking, I mean there are a lot of relationships suffering and struggling because one partner is having an affair.
However, before we can go forward let’s debunk five myths on cheating. The more we know the fact from the ‘lies’ surrounding cheating, then we can really understand why people cheat even in a happy relationship.
Five myths surrounding infidelity and affairs
Myth 1: Affairs or infidelity happens because a spouse is actively looking to have one.
Fact: Well, there are people who do want to have an affair. Like they want to try something new and all that. However, statistics have shown that infidelity can take place as a random act that was never planned at all. Something like a one-night-stand at the club. I know people go clubbing to have fun, drink, and go wild. Most times these people didn’t really plan ahead that were going to meet someone and do stuff with them. It just happens that at the heat of the moment, they are having a nightstand with someone they are never going to speak with again. You understand right?
This ‘unplanned’ affair could also develop as a result of where they become friends with the opposite sex, maybe at the workplace, and in the process share personal and intimate information. This can breed a deep bond and can cause an affair.
Myth 2: Affairs happen because of sexual attraction or desire for novel sexual experiences.
Fact: There are a whole lot of different types of affairs and they have unique reasons why they are having them.
Although sexual attraction can be a reason one cheats on their partner, it is often the emotional needs of the cheating partner causing the affair to begin anyway. So often than not, it’s not all about sex, it might be emotional intimacy lacking in their relationships. Consequently, sex is not only the yardstick for an affair, there’s what we call ’emotional infidelity’ too. A story for another day.
ALSO READ, How To Prevent Cheating In A Relationship
Myth 3: Affairs only happens in an unhappy marriage or relationship.
Fact: Infidelity happens in good, happy marriages as well. Like what we have been seeing now, there’s a probability it does. The reasons could be a one-night stand, emotional intimacy, and what have you…
Myth 4: Men are always the ones cheating
Fact: That would have been right centuries back, but not today. Yap! Although this may seem logical, seeing men have more money and the society is less judgmental on men when it comes to men cheating. However, women are now catching up on the game. According to statistics women are going up to about 40% of all infidelities. Ouch! That was huge. Personally, I think the figure should be way higher than that because women tend to involve themselves in a whole lot of emotional infidelity. Don’t ask me how I know…I just know!
There are a lot of cheating wives and girlfriends…but not too many actually, because not everyone do cheat. This will take me to the final myth.
Myth 5: Everyone is having an affair.
Fact: That’s a pure fallacy. Everyone in a relationship or committed marriage is not having an affair. Although there a lot of affairs, emotional or sexual, it’s still not a hundred percent, everyone. So you can relax, your wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend…husband might just not be cheating on you. There ain’t any skeleton in their cupboards. So while, of course, cheating is being played by so many people, there are still a good amount of people not cheating in any way.
From this, you must have learned that people do not always cheat because they aren’t happy in their relationships or marriages or they don’t love their partners anymore. There are a whole lot of reasons for that, which I have mentioned here.
This knowledge comes in handy especially when you are trying to make a decision about your partner who cheated on you once. Although you don’t have to know every detail of the affair to find a solution but knowing that there’s a probability that it could be a ‘mistake’, unplanned and they still value the relationship, can go a long way in your decision-making process and finding a good solution
Although cheating can be painful, divorcing the adulterer or leaving the unfaithful partner is not always the best way to get the affair behind you especially if it’s unplanned. Take a look at Beyonce and Jay Z.
Divorcing or leaving the relationship is not always the answer. It might be unplanned and your partner is remorseful, of course, you can find a way. Maybe meeting a counselor and giving them one more chance.
ALSO, READ How to fix a broken relationship