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How to be wife material

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how to be a good wife

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HOW TO BE WIFE MATERIAL

Here we’ll be talking on how to be wife material, being a wife material is not easy, even if you have a near-perfect husband. To be wife material, you have to be able to communicate effectively, to keep your romance alive, and to be your husband’s best friend while maintaining your own identity. If you want to know how to do it, just follow these steps.

1 Effective  Communication Expressing your feelings and needs effectively

Your husband does not have clairvoyant powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say it. Don’t drop hints or figure like he’ll “come around” or you’ll never get anything done. If you want to be able to express how you feel, you should be able to speak with a positive and calm tone then listen to what your husband says instead of being accusatory.

 

EFFECTIVE COMMINICATION

Here are some ways to do it: Instead of accusing him of not meeting your needs, try to let him know likewise focus the conversation on yourself. For instance, tell him, “I feel ignored when I don’t see you until 6:30 every night.” Listen to what he has to say, When he tells you something, repeat what he said back to ensure him that you get what he said. For example, “I hear you saying that you’re worried about finances, and that’s why you’ve been working late.” Avoid passing judgment. Allow him to finish what he’s saying before you respond. After he’s done talking, offer a solution. For instance, say, “I’m willing to live on a tighter budget if that means that I get to see you more often.”

ALSO, READ HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

2.Criticism

Criticism can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don’t nag your husband about how to load the dishwasher “the right way.” allow him to do things the way he chose. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Stop criticizing your husband without doing it properly. Remember to try to be calm and rational,.a strong emotion can easily turn a discussion into an argument or fight. If you continue to criticize him on every little thing he does, then he will quickly tune you out. Always praise your husband for the things he does right much more than you argue with him about things that he does wrong. This will make him much more likely to listen to you, and much happier to be around you.

3.Understanding him when discussing

Don’t let anger take over because it may cause you to say things that you will regret later. At a point when you don’t agree with your husband, you need to respect his opinion and his viewpoint. To be a good wife, you need to bear in mind that you may never agree on certain issues. No couple has an identical set of morals and beliefs, which means that both of you will need to learn to cope with occasions where you just can’t resolve your opinions.understanding him when discussing T

 

ry talking to him at the right time. Don’t just spring your problems on him whenever. Avoid bringing up problems before dinner, while he’s paying bills or when he’s immersed in a stressful situation, like fixing a problem with your car. Note this don’t you, ever start an argument in front of your children. to your husband, not about him. Never talk to your friends or your family about negative things about your husband if you’re not communicating with him first. Talking about your husband behind his back is not right. When you get married, your first loyalty is to your partner, not to your birth family or your social group. Complaining about your husband to your friends and family will not solve any of your problems, rather it will also make them view your relationship in a more negative light.

4. Be Accepting Have realistic expectations.

nor of you are perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, then you need to set obtainable standards. For example, it is not right to expect lavish possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. If you want more together time, then be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense. Remember that no relationship is perfect. If you expect to get along with your husband and be happy 100% of the time, it won’t work out for you. Don’t try to change your husband. 

Accept him as he is and let him know that no matter what, that you would never change him in any way. He has a lot to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Love him for who he is, and he’ll love you unconditionally in return. Accept this fact, you and your husband are not the same. He won’t always see the world the same way that you do, and that’s a good thing. Being with someone who isn’t exactly like you will make your relationship richer. Roll with the changes. You will encounter crises together, from the loss of a job to the death of a parent. Y

ou may suffer financial hardship, or you may find yourselves unexpectedly wealthy and uncertain of what to do. Your marriage can survive these changes if you’re willing to keep communicating and being flexible. Here are some things to keep in mind as you learn to accept change: Accept your mutual mistakes. If you want to be accepted as a wife, then you have to be able to accept your husband’s mistakes and to sincerely respect his apologies for doing something wrong (as long as it doesn’t compromise you in a big way). If you hold a grudge too long, you won’t be able to appreciate the good things about your husband, so it’s best to accept his apologies, talk about how he won’t upset you again in this way, and move forward instead of harboring resentment about the past.

ALSO, READ Romantic Love Messages For Husband

5.Good Companion Meet your husband’s needs without compromising your own. If he needs more sex, then open your mind to the possibilities. If he needs time with friends or time to pursue a hobby, then don’t be angry. He’ll be happier, and he’ll be grateful to you for your respect. You should try to meet his needs, or at least some of them, without doing anything that will make you feel uncomfortable. If he wants more sex, then consider having more sex with him, or think about why it doesn’t appeal to you. In as much as you do not force yourself to do something, you’re not comfortable with just for his benefit. Instead, talk to him about it so he understands how you’re feeling, and together you can decide on something better that can make you both comfortable with. You are your husband’s best friend.

Develop true intimacy and unconditional acceptance. Demonstrate a willingness to be vulnerable, and have confidence that your relationship can withstand conflict. Enjoy your shared history and your inside jokes. Forward him articles you know that he’ll find interesting or just sit with him in companionable silence. Even your silence will say volumes when your marriage is strengthened by true friendship. Though you might maintain other meaningful friendships so your life will be full of love and laughter, at the end of the day, your husband should be the person that you turn to. Shared dreams together.

Never lose sight of the dreams that you share. Whether your dreams include retiring to a warm climate or taking a trip abroad for your twentieth anniversary, embrace your dreams, talk about them, and take steps to make them happen. If you and your husband’s dreams don’t intersect, then you’ll be creating a rift as you both move further towards your goals, or if one of you doesn’t get what he or she wants. Work together to reduce stress. Men and women deal with stress all the time and every day. Do what you can to help each other deal with the stress of everyday life. If one of you is chronically stressed out and the other doesn’t seem to understand why then you’ll have a problem.

6. Makeout Time for Romance

Make time for “date night.” No matter how busy you are, how stressful your job is, or how many kids you have, it is needful to make out time to spend a romantic evening with your husband. If you don’t have kids, aim for once a week, and if you already have, try to squeeze out time to date at least once every two weeks or as often as you can. Though it may sound corny, dressing up and going somewhere nice and special can renew your romantic connection and give you a breath of fresh air away from your home.

Schedule sex into your life. You may feel that sex has to be spontaneous, but if you don’t include it to your schedule, you may start to neglect it. Without the regular intimate acceptance and love that comes from your lovemaking, a person can become dissatisfied, grumpy, and ultimately suffer from feelings of rejection and even anger. Remember lovemaking gives an intimacy and physical release that is vital for both of you

Kiss passionately. After a while, you make do with a peck on the lips instead of with full-on French kissing. Make it a goal to share at least one six-second kiss with your husband each day, or every morning and night, even if you don’t have more time for intimacy than that. You don’t want your husband to think that kissing you is no different than dutifully kissing his children — the passion should still be present in your kisses.

7.Dressing neatly and sexy

This will not only attract your husband but will keep your self-esteem high. A good wife material should learn how to dress neatly at home and anywhere she may find herself. Dressing neat implies taking care of your hair, body, wears, and personal hygiene. If You are presentable in the sight of your husband he can’t afford to lose you. That is to say that he will always find you adorable and will always love to show you to his friends.  Dress well, know the kind of wear to wear at the right time as well as the right place. Time for romance Put on sexy and transplant wear on, it helps a lot in creating room for sex.

Make your bedroom a sanctuary for sex. Your bedroom should be dedicated to sleep and sex. If you bring in your children’s toys, the nightly news, or the extra work you have to do, then you won’t think of your bedroom as a special and sacred place. Maintaining an area of the house for sleep and sex will make your love — and lovemaking — feel more special and vital to your relationship. You and your husband can work together to remove any irrelevant items from your bedroom. This can also turn in to a fun couple’s activity.

8.Lastly Home Management You must know how to manage your home. Presenting your home well will draw a good scent of peace and happiness around you and your husband. When your home is in a good state it makes you and your family happy and healthier. Leaving it untidy brings in dirty, infection, sickness, bad odor, and all manner of unhealthy living. You as the wif,e it is your duty to keep you home safe from germs and harmful things. Home management also includes managing things like foodstuff you have.  Some men hate it when you ask a lot of things knowing too well that your husband is suffering, working his ass off to see that you have everything needed, then in return you make use of it unwisely. Wisdom is needed in keeping your home perfectly in order.

No matter the amount he gives to you, try to manage it well, and if he gives you excess of it learn to save something out of it. peradventure you need to take care of yourself or your own needs, you take from your savings. You shouldn’t be asking for money from him every time, you can use it from your savings. , it will increase the love he had for you. When your husband sees that you manage things in the house well he will be glad he made the right choice. Try and manage your home well.

Click here to read Exploring the different sexual location

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Marriage & Divorce

How To Stop Dating A Married Man

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how to stop dating a married man

This generation of ours has made every negative thing a norm and tends to forget the absurdness of it. For example, The negativity around depression has failed to be seen as people finding solace in it, speeding toxicity, another example can be seen in prostitution, where this is seen as a “Career” or a source of income. The world has failed to see the absurdness of this making women more objectified and this should not be. Another example is Dating married men, Women see this as a norm and a source of income for themselves, not thinking of the absurdness of this….They just do it without thinking!

When things like prostitution are made a norm there is a tendency that women would date married men. Some of them do this for reasons best known to them, while some of them do it because of preference, they just prefer married men.

Some of them don’t even know why they do it, they just feel like it’s the right thing to do and they just go for it. Some of them do it to spite the wife in the marriage for one misunderstanding or the other, Some of the.do it because it was spiritually inclined into them.

But, This doesn’t mean that some of them are not tired of it, especially those ones who don’t know why they do it and feel ashamed about it, they want to stop but they don’t know how to, they have tried what they thought was right but still had the same results, and I know that you reading this right now might be one of them.

Ways to Stop Dating A Married Man

1: Acknowledge that it’s a problem

Until you see the absurdness of this you would not be able to make the decision of stopping it. Until you see why it is wrong and should not be done at all, there is every tendency that you might not make the choice of stopping. So firstly think about the absurdness, acknowledge that is wrong, and work towards your stopping it.

2: Put God first

When you acknowledge that it’s a problem, run back to the place of prayer and let God take over, sometimes spirituality is involved. Daily reading and meditating on the bible tends to change your perspective about life making you see more of the absurdness of Dating A Married Man.

ALSO, READ 18+ Proven Signs A Married Man is Unhappy in His Marriage

3: Set your priorities right:

It is said that some of them that do it and want to stop but can’t stop is because of the income they make from it, the comfort it brings and the solace added, making it their top priority. This is the excuse they have. But after acknowledging that it’s a problem and putting God first, set your priorities right.

Be independent, withdraw from that relationship, and start a life of your own, where you don’t have to rely on a man or a married man for your well-being, Establish yourself. This is one of the ways a strong woman is built, she starts by setting her priorities right.

Ways you can set your priorities right include

A: Believe in yourself:

Many women think or feel that they cannot do anything without the help of a man or a man who already knows how to take care of a woman because of his experience in marriage. But facing the fact that it is wrong and telling yourself you can do better than that, you can become who you want to become without giving yourself to a married man.

B: Do a reality check:

Look things logically, a married man would only see you as mistress and nothing more, he wouldn’t have time for you, he’d always come only when he feels like, you’re not being loved but being used. You’re not in a relationship that would lead to a happy married life, you’re just eating What you  did not cook, and what you fail to understand is the bitterness of the after taste, you’re in a relationship where you’re at the mercy of whatever he brings, whether it works for you or not.

He’s not going to meet your parents because you don’t expect him to leave his wife because of you, and if he was going to marry you, think about how his kids would feel, they would hate you for stealing their mom’s lover, can you deal with that?  Would your loved ones approve of it, ask yourself these questions.

Doing a reality check makes you come to a realization of these things.

C: Tell the wife:

This basically frees you from the guilt. Your freedom is what matters, telling the wife doesn’t make you a coward, or show your sense of irresponsibility, it only shows your level of good reasoning and good you have come to the realization of the absurdness of it. When you te the wife you are free.

D: Break up with him:

This is the point where you make that decision to cut ties and don’t go back. This is the point where your realization comes into reality. Then you can become independent.

4: Do a daily Mind exercise:

Dating Married men can be traced psychologically, as it becomes a mindset that has been embedded into you by experience, doing mind exercises can completely eradicate the thoughts of your mind. Close your eyes for ten to fifteen seconds, imagine yourself coming out of that situation or that mindset and keep working towards it by the first three things listed above.

5: Change your hobbies:

This might seem funny, but every little thing matters. Most women date married men because of their love for luxury and material things, they want everything on a platter of gold, their love for money would always cloud their mindset, and the fact that they always get it would set their hobbies to doing things that are luxury worthy. For example, Shopping every single day, reckless spending of money on things that don’t matter, etc. Therefore making these things their favorite thing to do.

So changing your hobbies to little things and finding your talent improves your probability of not dating Married men.  When you work for some things yourself and do some things by yourself without the help of anyone, you’d actually know what you actually like and what you don’t.

6: Seek Counsel:

After doing everything listed above, seeking advice from a good adult would do a great deal of detaching yourself from Dating a Married Man. A counselor would always tell the truth and give you the next line of action.

Conclusion

How to stop Dating A Married Man is a choice you have to make, a choice that has to come from the realization of the absurdness, setting your priorities right, changing your hobbies, doing a little mental exercise, and seeking good counsel. With these well done, dating a married man would not even be a thought in your mind not to talk of an act!

ALSO, READ SIGNS HE WANTS TO GET YOU IN BED

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Marriage & Divorce

10 Signs You’re Ready to Get Married

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signs you're ready to get married

Description: One of the things many people fear is getting into marriage for the wrong reasons. Before you consider the idea, ensure you’re prepared to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. Here are ten signs you’re ready for marriage.

How do you know if you are ready to get married? (10 Signs)

Because of the excitement of meeting a person you love, you might feel ready for marriage after the first date. Knowing you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is an incredible feeling. But no matter how you feel, marriage is not something you should take lightly. Marriage requires a lot of work, compromise, and sacrifice to maintain the relationship. Anyone craving companionship must have a few things figured out before saying “I do.” While you can borrow from installment loan lenders for your wedding, it’s something you must think about critically.

Before committing, do some soul soul-searching to know who you are and what you want. Understand the things you can give your prospective spouse and what you expect from them. Being ready for marriage means you have figured out what you want in life and are prepared to be in a relationship where you contribute and compromise. Here are signs that will help you know you’re ready for married life.

1. You’re Psychologically Mature

Some people will realize they’re not ready for marriage after 5 years of dating, and this is okay. Just because you have been out there for a long time does not qualify you to get married. Maturity is an essential component that will keep your marriage going strong amid all the turbulence. There is no best age for marriage, and you should never fall for the pressure to get married because you’re approaching a certain age. However, there’s an optimum level of maturity that shows you’re emotionally ready for marriage.

Experts say that the brain does not reach peak development until the age of 27, especially the part of the brain linked with one’s ability to review long-term consequences and also compare options. Until you have a fully working brain able to assess situations correctly, you should not get married. This is a ready-for-marriage checklist you must complete as it influences your choice of mate and ultimately determines if you’ll have a successful relationship.

2.You Love Yourself

ENSURE YOU LOVE YOURSELF

Knowing you’re ready for marriage after divorce can be confusing, as some people want to fill the void created by prior events. However, this is the time you should trackback and exercise self-love for healing. When you truly love yourself, you will easily give selfless love to others. The way you love yourself is how you teach other people to love you. Focusing on self-love before you get married is crucial as it helps you set standards that no person can undermine. Having respect for yourself means you cannot tolerate disrespect from anyone or abuse in a relationship.

Marriage comes with different stressors that test your resilience and patience. Failure to love yourself enough means it’s easy to feel lost during times of struggle. You get comfort knowing you adore yourself enough to be brave and conquer challenges in your marriage.

3. You’re Financially Stable

There are cases where you find a lady is ready for marriage, but the boyfriend is not. Some of these cases involve finances, as the boyfriend might not have attained the financial stability they believe is sufficient to take care of a family. Looking at your finances, are you ever ready for marriage? There are many perks you get from marriage if both of you are bringing income to the family. Before getting started, both of you need to evaluate your financial situation to know if it can sustain a marriage.

Money is a critical component of marriage that could make or break the relationship. Also, you don’t want to use marriage as a way to get rich as this could attract consequences later. Besides your wedding, the beginning of your marriage costs a lot – from kitchen equipment and furniture to a place to stay. Discuss finances with your partner to find common ground and understand how you can sustain the marriage if you decide to go ahead.

4. You Truly Love Your Partner

you truely love your partner

Love is among things you must confirm is present before you start thinking about how to get ready for a marriage proposal. You must love your partner for everything they are. Their personality is unique and different, so don’t attempt to change it when you get married. It’s something you need to accept and respect before you proceed with a marriage. It’s easy to tell about one’s character by looking at how they treat others. Know if they’re kind, and don’t ignore red flags that could blow up later in the marriage.

Looking at all things, you should ensure your partner is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Avoid falling for illusions of false expectations and face reality, which means asking yourself if you truly love that person.

5. Your Values Align

If you’re ready for marriage but your partner’s not, it could mean your values don’t align, which is a sign you should not go ahead with the plan. Having values that align makes your lives easier in the future. You need to be comfortable discussing taboo topics like sex, finance, and religion. Ladies ready for marriage should check that they’re comfortable discussing sensitive topics with their partners, as this will make it easier to know what to expect in the future. If there are clashes whenever some issues are brought up, it could mean you’ll endure stress in the marriage. People who share the same values protect their relationship from disappointment, clashes, and resentment. Values define people. It’s not something you can change overnight. They show the things you place much significance to.

Check Out: Home Proposal Tips and Ideas: How to Get Your S.O to Say Yes!’

 6.If you Trust Yourself Around Your Partner

Getting ready for marriage in a dream is easy as everything feels smooth, but before accepting to get married, ask yourself if you feel safe around your partner. This is like a situation where a friend brings life to the party, but everyone feels the void when they leave, and the event gets dull. If you’re considering getting married, you must address topics like whether you trust the person to give you what you need to feel loved and at peace.

You must have already touched on topics that could shake the stability of the relationship. If it feels necessary to hide your true self because you fear your partner would never accept or love you for that, then it could be you’re not dating the right person. Marriage is a long-term investment, and nobody deserves to suffer in silence or suppress some aspects about themselves.

7. You Overcome Conflict Together

Is anyone ever ready for marriage until they go through conflict with their partner? This comes as a learning moment where you get to understand how it feels to deal with conflict and moments of high pressure. Marriage is not always lovey-dovey as you will encounter moments where you will split apart for some time.

Forgiveness is one of the main dimensions of a stable marriage, so when you experience this while still dating, it could signify you can live together for many years to come. Couples must learn conflict resolution before entering into a marriage. Handling conflict successfully brings marital satisfaction.

ALSO, READ 12 Steps to Increase Your Self-Esteem

8.You Have Realistic Expectations

You’ll not find a perfect human if that’s what you want for marriage. If you have lived with your partner for some time, you might be aware of this. So, before getting married, understand that besides many happy times, you will encounter sad moments. It’s common to see people expect the perfect type of love they read in all the fairies, but this is unrealistic as you’re dealing with a real human being. Check the lingering doubts of marrying the person to understand the trade-offs. 

9.You’re Inspired to Succeed

Sometimes, it’s easy to feel you’ve found the perfect person, so all you need is to relax and enjoy life. However, feeling settled and not aiming to improve is something you should be aware of. Having the inspiration to reach greater heights comes from an inner calling. It means just because you finally found your true love; it should not mean you should neglect other things, like your job, purpose, or mental and physical health. These are things that should stay with you even after marriage. You should not let the relationship make you forget about your ability to stay hungry for success.

10.You Support Each Other’s Hobbies

If you never fancied fly fishing, but this is something your partner enjoys, you should support their passion and try learning a bit about it. You will discover many interesting things and probably also find happiness doing those things.

Conclusion

Marriage marks an important transition in one’s life, so it must be approached carefully as you expect to spend your life with your partner.  Finding the right person for marriage is not enough as you also need to evaluate yourself to know if you’re ready for marriage. Consider these things before you get married to improve your chances of success.

How do you handle conflicts in your relationship? Leave a comment below. 

Jade is a finance analyst and has been involved in many successful business projects with a range of companies throughout the country. She started writing 3 years ago and enjoys researching, discussing, and writing on the topics of finances, budgeting, money advice, lifestyle, and wellness. Jade loves to spend time with her family and has many hobbies, including hiking, riding a bike, cooking, and traveling.

ALSO, READ HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

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Marriage & Divorce

Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney

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Why You Must Hire A Divorce Attorney

 

Going through a divorce without legal help is like committing financial suicide. You might be thinking of going through your divorce on your own
and just using information that you can research online but that can do more harm than good. Though a DIY divorce may apply to certain situations,
it is still smarter to hire a divorce attorney to ensure that your best interests are taken into consideration. Keep reading for reasons why hiring a divorce
attorney could be one of your best divorce decisions.

You Want to Eliminate Mistakes

“The legal system is complicated enough to navigate for those who have a legal degree, so navigating it from a layman’s perspective is like trying to pilot a plane without even knowing how to ride a bike”, says Michael Porter of Haywood Hunt & Associates Inc.

Legal jargon can be very challenging. It can take just one word for you to completely misunderstand something (like a debt or medical issue) or overestimate/underestimate the value of an asset. This is the last thing you want. Why? Because mistakes like this can cause your financial ruin or may need to be corrected with more legal proceedings in the future. An attorney can ensure that your case is being handled properly and that you will not be making decisions that you will regret for years to come.

You Will Benefit from Legal Advice

A divorce attorney can ensure that you get what you deserve during a divorce. This is important because state laws do not always support an even split of a couple’s assets. There are cases where a spouse is entitled to a spouse’s future income and/or retirement. By hiring an attorney, you ensure that complicated issues such as debts, child custody, current assets, future assets, and child support are legally addressed.

You Want to Minimize Stress

Divorce is a highly stressful time. Not only will it be addressing the end of your marriage, but might also bring up painful experiences from the past. A divorce attorney will provide objective help in gathering information, presenting information, and representing your interests. This will give you more time to process your feelings and take care of yourself and your family.

Keep in mind that a divorce will be a very painful time and the last thing youneed is to have to take on legal work. That is what an attorney is for.

You Don’t Want Delays

Completing all the paperwork needed for a divorce plus gathering information and documenting everything isn’t an easy task. Yes, there are court provided documents but that is just a small percentage of what you actually need. Aside from paperwork, there are other legal issues that can prolong a divorce or halt the progress into a crawl. An experienced divorce attorney knows how to avoid problems like the above and get things done as fast as possible.

You Want A Clear Divorce

A divorce is a legal agreement and is legally binding. You want everything in your divorce to be as clear as possible and that each point that needs to be
addressed are taken care of. A divorce attorney will ensure that your wishes are accurately presented and that you understand everything that goes into
the divorce. This way, the divorce would be free from unclear language or errors.

ALSO, READ TOP 5 MONEY ISSUES THAT COULD  DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP

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