Protection Status HOW TO GET AWAY WITH OBSESSION - Relationship seeds
Connect with us






Obsession and how to get away with it

Okay, how to get away with obsession. You might not think you have one but maybe you do or maybe you don’t because you have not found it yet. Here’s the thing, we all have one obsession or the other whether we know it or not. We feel it, as stated before, whether we know it or not. We even develop it. It might be over an object, a few words, an event past, present or future, a type of food, an animal, or even a person. They can help us or paralyze us.

A person can have more than one obsession. The question is, is it healthy or unhealthy?  But what is this obsession we are talking about? The meaning, signs/symptoms, causes, effects, treatments, and then how to get away with it. Let’s look at the latter first, shall we?


An obsession or rather obsessions, according to the psychology definition, are recurring images, thoughts, or urges that are intrusive and unwanted by the individuals or individuals experiencing them.

Obsessions are identified partly by an effect on the feelings and thoughts on the affected individual. They are cognitive in context and result in negative emotions. For some people, obsessions cause anxiety or distress. Obsessions may intrude into one’s consciousness unexpectedly. They are involuntary and exert a measure of control over the individual.

ALSO READ, What do ladies contribute in a relationship asides sex?

Some examples of obsessions:

These include:

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Eating disorders

Body Drugs Morphic Disorder (BDD)

Delusional disorder

Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD).

OCD patients have both obsessions and behavioral symptoms called compulsions.

Compulsions are ritualistic actions performed to neutralize anxiety created by his/her obsessions.

Causes of obsessions:

Research has linked obsession with psychotic disorders like delusional disorders and even schizophrenia. In such disorders, a key feature is that the affected individual suffers an inability to experience rational thoughts and perceptions.

Some obsessions have been linked to events that occurred in one’s past especially one’s childhood. Obsessions keep underlying emotions like grief, anger, sadness, loneliness, fears, and rejection, to name a few, at bay. Certain feelings are shunned because they were shown shame in childhood.

If such obsessions are shown in childhood it could bring about concern from parents and guardians who might try and help by making the child/ward suppress them.

Important: If you notice signs of psychological disorder and obsession in your child/ward seek professional medical advice. Do not try to do anything on your own without the doctor’s permission or advice as this could worsen the situation for the child now or in the future. Do not be afraid of contacting proper medical professionals and do not be afraid or show fear in front of the child. Do not treat the child like he/she has a contagious disease and do not treat them in a way they will perceive as you not loving them. These situations are sometimes delicate. That is why it is not advised to do anything with the word of a modern medical professional.

Obsessions can either be healthy or unhealthy.

A healthy obsession helps you get through some stuff without bringing harm to you or anyone else. Healthy obsessions can include baking, writing, exercising, and drawing. Things to keep your mind occupied from darker unwanted thoughts. They are actually like compulsions but not to encourage the obsession but to move away from it.

A healthy obsession

An unhealthy obsession makes everything worse. Generally over something bad or damaging like razors, sharp objects, blood, drugs, in which case is called addiction, sex, murder, bodily parts, etc. Compulsions for something very damaging.

An unhealthy obsession

General signs of obsession:



3.Jealousy over-obsessed item

4.No time for yourself

5.Violent reactions over-obsessed item

6.Happiness on seeing the target of your obsession to the point of relief.

7.Doing things compulsively.

Signs/Symptoms of obsession with a person (OCD and OLD):

In the case of OLD, the target of the obsessed is called a Love object.


You start following the object of your obsession especially if it is a person over a long period of time. And especially if it becomes annoying or frightening to the person being stalked. I know no one wants to be seen as the creepy guy or lady in the bushes. And better to know now is also a crime.

His/her friends are yours too:

This might be a total coincidence but if you feel the way obsession has been described then this is absolute, I repeat absolutely, not a coincidence. All of his/her friends are your friends too? Yeah…start seeking help.

Dislike for friends of the opposite gender:

Sure in a relationship, this might be a bit understandable but not when it is blown way out of proportion like forbidding contact with them, threatening said friends. This is definitely not okay when in a relationship because such relations should be built on trust and mutual respect. It is most definitely not okay when you are NOT in a relationship with the person.

Always in touch 24/7:

It is good to keep contact between friends, family, and partners in a relationship. It is crucial in fact. But when you overdo it such as always being in touch 24/7 then that is a really big problem which may cause annoyance and a feeling of being watched especially now with social media. Where you can tell who is online and who is not.

Replying texts/messages immediately:

Simple internet etiquette, when replying to a message always do that in the space of two minutes. It gets annoying when you do not reply fast enough and you are online. It also gets people angry. But replying within a few seconds consecutively will be noticed and if it does not take a step down it gets creepy and suspicious.

Attempts at controlling activities of the Love object:

Phone calls, friends, social media, where they go, it is pretty self-explanatory.

Happiness on seeing the target of your obsession to the point of relief:

This should be one of the things to tell you that you are obsessed and you should start seeking help. Every time you see this person you calm down. You have immense happiness or joy after seeing the person Every time. If this person leaves your line of vision, your anxiety acts up.


When I mean jealousy, I mean enormous amounts of it. Which may eventually lead to violence.

The tendency to only look at the positive or negative aspects of the Love objects:

This is pretty self-explanatory. OLD and OCD can be in the lines of love and hate. Love for OLD and both ways for OCD. One of the prominent signs of obsessions and signs that you need help.

Violent reactions/violence:

This happens after jealousy turns to rage, you feel like breaking someone’s head open at this point or just generally cause bodily harm to the person you do not like being near or in the life of the target of your obsession. The subject of violence might even be on the target of your obsession. You end up hurting him/her physically.

Effects of obsessions

Inability to have sound relationships with family, friends, and partners:

This is the number one, effect because everyone around you will feel it one way or another and drift from you slowly or even worse, you do it yourself even when they want to spend time with you, even when they want to help you.

Your work-life slowly crumbling:

Although some people can keep their obsessions and work-related matters separate most people can not. And when that happens. Your work-life will slowly crumble, you will lose friends at work, the trust of your boss or employer because your work is not getting done. Your workload will pile up so much you can not handle it and ultimately you might get demoted and even worse, fired.

Going into a bubble and losing connection to the rational world:

Loads of people have bubbles, a little place in their head to get away from it all where nothing matters but then and what they want. Kind of a place to daydream and get away from the real world. It is quite nice, speaking personally, but all good things must come to an end. We have to step out of that bubble sometime and that, although it does not feel like it, is a good thing. Staying in that bubble for way too long is bad. You lose some rational thought if you do. Things do not make sense except what is in your head. Which is your obsession…


In the case of eating disorders and OCD, you can get diseases like diabetes, lung complications. Your body will begin to shut down.

Increase in debts:

To feed your obsession or obsessive behavior, you will invite debts, most of which you will not be able to pay.

Engaging in criminal activities:

This, of course, to feed your obsession. Especially in areas of addiction.

Going to Court:

This happens when one or more people decide to take you in there because you have either stopped paying bills, you have a huge debt on your head, you stole, got caught doing something illegal, the love object or family members or friends of the Love object sue you for stalking, abuse, attempted murder, murder, homicide,…you get a general idea.


If you have an obsession and are struggling with it people will know or at least have some idea or call you crazy.  No one who has that in the back of their head would not want to befriend you, have anything to do with you or any members of your family.

Checking in to a mental ward:

Your family members or the court may deem you unfit to function in society and will check you into a wonderful establishment where you might get treated and cured or abandoned for the of your natural existence. Most times, family members want to take care of it internally and will ask the psychiatrist for medications you can take at home instead.


In the case of OLD and OCD, this is sometimes called a crime of passion. This is where the obsessed or the love target may die or both. You might kill your love target or your love target might kill you. Or the court might sentence you to death.

How to get over an obsession/obsessions

Find something else to preoccupy your mind. Develop a healthy obsession.

Abstinence from your target of obsession which could be drugs, a particular food, sex, a person. See how long you can stay without them and I do not mean one hour, I am talking days. Weeks. Months. But of course baby steps.

Do not use baby steps as a crutch. You will get nowhere.

Listen to your friends and family.

Get help from a certified medical professional.

Engage in a lot of activities like sports and yoga.

Take in new scenes. Try going on a trip, exploring, etc.

Make new friends.



Without further ado here is

How to get away with obsession

If you are obsessed with someone tries doing these to ensure you get away with it. I still advise you to seek professional medical help.

Hide your jealousy well.

Control and hide your anger.

Delete and burn excess obsessive pictures on your phone, in your room, etc so no one will know or get an inclination of your obsession. I do not mean one or two. I mean something like a hundred.

Go out even if you do not want to. Try and enjoy the rest of the day.

Do not try to control the activities of the target of your obsession.

Get people to stalk for you. If you have the cash for it that is.

Pay people off. Again if you have enough cash to do this.

Create accidentally meetups in a way that will not seem too much for the target of your obsession. It can be bumping into each other or helping each other with work or out on a jog. In the jogging, part make sure the person recognizes you first from afar. He/she might come to meet you if not wait a few more minutes like 10-20 and walk right up. Do not make it look like you know what is happening.

Make new friends and introduce them to the target of your obsession. So later not all his or her friends will be yours too.

Keep your personal life and work separately. Do not mix obsession and work. Try not to let them seep into each other.

Keep away from criminal activities and if you have already fallen that rabbit hole, try to get yourself out in a way that will not get you or anyone else you care for or had no intention of dragging into your mess killed.

Do not intentionally put anyone in the hospital.

For the love of God, try not to kill anyone including yourself.

Clean your tracks while taking all these points into account.


Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


How To be Pretty: 21 Natural ways to be More attractive



how to be pretty

How To Be Pretty: Naturally ways to be more attractive

Being pretty these days is like a “do or die affair” for most people out there. They spend a lot of money buying creams, makeups, clothes, and many more just trying to look good.

Looking good have lots of advantages attached to it such as:

  • Boosting self-confidence
  • Improving self-esteem

Everyone on earth is beautiful, although everyone has their spec and categories of people that they are attracted to. Beauty is vain because one day you’ll definitely grown old.

Physical appearance doesn’t make you beautiful, but what actually makes us beautiful is the way we treat people around us.

We live in a world where everyone is so obsessed with beauty, but learning how to be pretty naturally isn’t all about trying to buy toning creams or getting the latest makeup kit. But it’s about trying to be authentic and feel good about your appearance.

In this article, we’ll be talking about how to be pretty without spending much.


This write-up is here to give you the right knowledge.  being pretty is not always about spending much money. If you follow these tips, you’d still be very attractive even at your old age.

1.Smile More

when you smile more, you look prettier

when you smile more, you look prettier

They say, “laughter is the best medicine,” this is actually very true. But I’d say that laughter makes you look younger. Have you ever seen a movie and you see a guy telling a girl that you’d be prettier if you smile? Some ladies will say he’s actually saying that just to pull my legs and win my heart.

Whenever you smile or blush, there is always a glow radiating from your face making you look more charming. When I was a little boy, if my parents got me angry, they’d tell me to smile or else, I will grow old quickly.

Smiling helps your face not to get wrinkle.Whenever you’re sad, think of  something that can make you smile, it could be a tv show or a family member. The goal here is to always be smiling. If you’re finding it difficult to smile you can use the ‘fake it’ till ‘you make it’ technique till you get better at doing it.

2. Schedule regular haircuts or trims

regular hair cut

Taking good care of your hair goes a long in making your appearance glorious. Have you ever left your hair for 7months without visiting the salon, how do you think you’d look? Probably like an ex-convict.

To look prettier, you should schedule regular haircuts or trims probably every month (depending on how fast your hair grows).

3. Drink at least 8 cups (1,900 ml) of water a day

Hydrating/saturating your body with water is one of the best ways to keep our body healthy. Drinking lots of water helps the body system to function very well. for we to maintain our body, we should avoid things like alcohol, smoking and hard drugs.


4. Bathe every day:

bath everyday

bathing every day would make your skin glow

Looking more prettier may also be scaled with the way we smell. Bathing at least, twice daily should be adopted. Bath with clean water and soap.

When you fail to bathe important parts of your body, you’ll have body odor.

5. Get Plenty of Sleep;

Anytime you feel tired, do well to take a quick rest. Stressing yourself always would make you look drained when people see you.

According to CDC,  an adult needs at least 7hrs to sleep daily.

picture of someone sleeping

Tips to get you more sleep:

  • Avoid taking caffeine at night
  • limit the way you watch television at night, watching a movie from 10 pm will not give you a good sleep.
  • keep your devices far from you, so you won’t be tempted to look at them
  • Read a book, it may help you sleep quickly.
  • Try a bedtime meditation
  1. Build confidence.
Build confidence

Build confidence

If you are not confident with yourself, you might find it hard to feel attractive to yourself and others.

Inner beauty breeds external happiness. If you can’t accept yourself, then there is no need to look for ways to stay pretty.

Self-confidence should be the first thing to achieve, then, you will see how pretty you will look and free, you will feel both in and out.

7.Make eye contact.

You could say in your heart, ‘will making eye contact make me prettier’? How does it concern beauty? The truth is that people will gradually start seeing how attractive you are to them when you start paying close attention to them while talking. Making eye contact helps you build confidence, trustworthiness, and more likable from people.

8. Keep your nails clean and trimmed.

pic of  well trimmed nails

Keep your nails clean and trimmed.

Being neat matters especially when it comes to the areas of Nails, always keep them cleaned and trimmed. It won’t be nice after wearing good clothes and you’ll still go about with your dirty nails. It doesn’t tell well of you.

If you do polish your nails, you can always re-polish them so that you’ll look pretty. Biting fingers is one of the fastest ways to trim them. If you don’t feel like biting them, you can dip your fingers in orange or rub orange to them so that you’ll feel the urge to bit them when tasting orange…

9. Wear clothes that are comfortable and fit well.

wear clothes that fits well

You don’t have to buy the latest trending clothes that celebrities wear to look pretty. If you don’t have money to buy them, it’s fine! Just buy a few pair of jeans or gown that whenever you wear it, you’ll always feel on top of the world.

There are clothes that you wear and you’ll feel so important! Wearing oversized cloth will make you look very old. Simply wear clothes that are comfortable, not when you go out, you’d start adjusting the clothes.

When you dress in comfortable and properly fit clothes, people will respect you and want to draw close to you.

10. Wear deodorant or perfume.

use deodorants on your body

using deodorants on your body will help you look pretty

Smelling nice should be one thing we should look out for first before going out.  Smelling nice can make people respect and want to stay close to you. It makes you look comfortable sitting around people or in any group of people.

Tips when using deodorants

  • Don’t overuse it unless- strong scent will chase people.
  • it shouldn’t be used as a substitute for bathing
  1. Brush at least twice daily

brushing your teeth regularly

Brushing your teeth twice daily is a characteristic of pretty people. Brushing your teeth always should be a habit to cultivate. Even a man who has a mouth odor will not want to have a conversation with a man who also has a mouth odor also.

12.Improve your posture: A nice person slouching is hard to picture! Sit straight against a chair with your back and walk parallel to the floor with your chin. if you’ve formed a bad habit of walking, then you need to learn how to improve your posture

You will look more desirable and optimistic.

  1. Wear light makeup:

Wearing makeup can make you look stunning if you aren’t happy with your looks. Everything should be moderate ranging from your face, eyes, and lips. Wearing heavy makeup would make you practically like a masquerade.

If you aren’t that good with makeup, you can watch tutorial videos on youtube, keep practicing until your makeup looks natural.

  1. Follow friends who good with fashion sense: One way to look pretty is to make friends with those who are good at fashion. When I gained admission into the university, people usually address me as an old man, because of the way I dress.

Immediately, I got a new friend who’s pretty good with fashion, my mentality changed. I started dressing well.

Your cycle of friends can also affect the way you dress too.

  1. Keep your clothes clean and pressed.

keep your clothes ironed

Have you ever tried taking a photo with rumpled or dirty clothes? You’d look so unattractive and messy!! No one will want to mingle with you. Even when you come close to them, they’ll distance themselves from you.

Before going out make sure you press your clothes and make sure they’re very neat. If you feel you’re so lazy to iron your clothes, you can try hanging them immediately after wearing them.

16. Exercise regularly.

Exercise has been one of the fastest ways to keep the body fit and look pretty. Exercise has lots of benefits ranging from health to boosting happy hormones.  A lot of people (male and female) face some challenges such as big tummy, being too fat, shapeless, etc.

Also,  Maddy Zollo Rusbosin a writer at  Women’s Health Magazine, says exercise also improves circulation (which can give you a healthier glow and a better skin tone overall).

The sweat you get from exercise also helps to clear pores and lowers cortisol levels which help to reduce stress.

17.  Keep your teeth white

We’re not talking about spending all your money just to make your teeth white or look pretty. Having a white tooth helps to give you a brighter smile. You can use Whitening strips, it works well.

Also, for you to achieve a white tooth you need to avoid drinks like coffee, red wine, and black tea. I’m not placing a restriction on that. If you must take that endeavor to always brush your teeth and observe the natural general hygiene to whiten your teeth.

  1. Eat more fruits and Veggies.

Eating fruits and adding enough veggies( which contain organic pigments called carotenoids) to your daily meal, help your body not only stay healthy but glows well than tanning.

Tips to achieve this:

  • After your breakfast, eat at least one fruit like grapes, apple, melon, or anyone you can afford. This aids digestion very well.
  • Add Veggies to your food while cooking to add to more taste and look attractive too.
  • Drink a glass of juice after you are done or when relaxing.
  • Always remember to eat them daily for more skin glows and staying healthy.
  1. Be positive and friendly.

Always stay positive and stay around friends that have these positive vibes.

Negative vibes can destroy your self-esteem and makes you feel like you are not good enough. Stay away from anything that brings them and don’t fake it, it comes out naturally when you feel it internally.

  1. Compliment

Always compliment yourself each day before and after doing your activities. You can stare in the mirror and say sweet or good words to yourself.

Pet yourself, you deserve it! This will not only makes you look prettier but build love within you.

  1. Always take a walk around your environment.

Feel free to step outside for more fresh air. You can do that in the evening while taking a walk around your environment. I love this art so much, and it has become part of me.

Put on something comfy, select your favorite song, and stroll around your vicinity. You can visit some friends or drop at coffee shops to embrace the rest of the day.

ALSO, READ Reasons Why Kissing Is Important In A Relationship


Continue Reading

Success and Motivation

10 ways to keep going when the going gets tough



ways to keep going when the going gets tough


In one way or the other, we all go through tough times. Tough times can come in various aspects of our life, be it work finances, or even relationships.
When you find yourself in this phase, do not be discouraged. Nothing lasts forever, not even the tough times. when you find yourself in a tough situation, hold your head high up, stick your chest out and find your inner strength to move forward despite the hard times.

One thing you should put at the back of your mind is that tough or hard times are inevitable. we are all meant to face a tough or rough time now or in the future. So we must know how to face those hard days when they come knocking.

10 ways to keep going ahead despite the tough times.

1 Remember how far you have come: When you get discouraged or almost giving up. It is essential you reflect back to how and where we started from. Most times some of this discouragement set in because you failed to notice the positive changes going on around you. you only look ahead of you. Look at where you are standing now compared to when you first started. Look at how many obstacles and challenges that you have been able to overcome successfully. Remembering how far you have come is usually the fire you need to keep on burning brightly into the future.

ALSO, READ How to Turn Negative Thoughts into Positive Action

2. Remember it is only temporary: Bad times dont’ last forever. When we say it is temporary, it means it will definitely come to an end. So when you are faced with a tough time, know that it is for a while, it is temporary, it will come to an end.

3. Remember why you started: when you choose that path, there was a reason. That same reason could also be a way of getting past that bad time. Let that reason be a reason for you to continue and not giving up when life hits you hard. Whenever things are at their worst, your number reason for following that path is going to be what pulls you out of that tough experience.

4. Remember you don’t have to be afraid: Fear is the first obstacle you need to conquer if you want to overcome that tough. Fear of the unknown has become one of the biggest barriers to facing a tough situation. Funny enough these fears don’t even get to exist. Fear has no positive purpose, they only get to create negative energy and stop us from moving forward, so drop that fear.

5. Remember to surround yourself with positivity: Everything positive should be your companion. You must surround yourself with positivity, you can get this through people, environment, books, and or any form of entertainment. It is very important to remain in a positive space, especially if you want to come out of that tough time.

6. Remember to make it a habit to move forward: Habits is some of our strongest behavioral predictors as humans. Habit can be triggered by external and internal cues. They are formed through conscious repeated behaviors. When practiced enough, they eventually take their place in the subconscious and guide your life. Moving forward is all about getting back on track as fast as possible and you can make it a habit. it will always get you closer to where you want to go.

7. Remember to pay it forward: one thing is certain, you are not the only one going through a rough time. It may not be the same situation but others are also going through a tough situation. Sometimes one of the best ways to get past a rough time is to realize other people’s struggle and lend them a helping hand. Help someone and see how much smaller your problem becomes.

8.Remember to take smaller steps: it is okay for you to stumble in life. It is very much okay to go through a tough time as well. it becomes a problem when you are trying to take everything at once. Too much ambition and unrealistic expectations. Sometimes big steps can be too much to take, they are rare, disruptive, and difficult to manage without crumbling. Those life-changing goals can be broken down into smaller steps that are manageable and can take you to the same place. Try taking smaller steps and watch that obstacle becomes easier to navigate.

9.Remember to look for inspiration: Inspiration goes a long way in our various individual life, we need it for our day-to-day dwelling. When faced with  tough times, you need the inspiration to forge ahead. Inspiration can come from anywhere, it can come from people, books, music, and or other means of entertainment. Look for your own inspiration to overcome that obstacle.

10.Remember to practice gratitude: Take your time to recognize, appreciate and be grateful for the good times. Be grateful for the good times as well because they are there to make us a better and stronger person. When you do this you worry and think less of your problems and most times solution comes faster through this means.

In conclusion, remember that there is a blessing hidden in every tough situation and you should not give up rather move forward if you want that blessing.


Continue Reading

Personal Improvement







There was a time when people used to say that their basic needs were food, shelter, and clothing along with health and education.

But nowadays, my answer will be different and I hope it will not be a shocking reply to this question. I have little pride to say that my basic needs are food, clothes, shelter, and Facebook.

Ask twenty persons the definition of Facebook and I can bet you with my last kobo that you are sure to get twenty different answers. And just as the answers are different, so also, are the impression of people about it.

For some, Facebook is the best thing that has happened to them since their birth, while for others, Facebook is the worst thing that has happened to the youths of our generation. No matter my definition and impression of Facebook, the reality on the ground, is that it has come to stay.

And from the look of things, there is no assurance that it is in a haste to pack-and-go! In fact, day in day out more applications are added to it making it more enticing and almost irresistible for many.

Our boys and girls have developed almost an unbelievable addiction to Facebook to the extent that some can forego their three square meals just chatting with friends on Facebook.

Some get so glued to it that if you want them to carry out an important task at home, you may even need a bulldozer to uproot them from their super glued seats.

For people in this category, they only remember that they have not taken their breakfast around 2:00 pm, others are compelled by the revolution in their stomach to go for dinner around 11:00 am courtesy of Facebook.

But if we may ask, what is Facebook? What can we gain from ‘face-booking?’ or how can we utilize the opportunities offered by Facebook while minimizing, if not entirely avoiding its side effects?




Facebook is generally referred to as a social utility or a social network service that connects people with their friends, their loved ones, relatives, school mates, business associates, and others who work or live around them.

We can then say that facing your book is a process whereby students sit down to read their books, taking away all distractions in order to pass their examinations, and become useful to their family, town, state, country, and the world as a whole.





Facebook is very much social. Though it takes continuous sitting to scroll through, to become familiar with Facebook.

Somehow Facebook is like traveling around the world by just sitting in front of your computer. It is so much fun to make friends, especially online. It is a perfect way to be in touch with old friends and relatives no matter where they are.

Facebook is a perfect place to express our views in front of a wide audience from all over the world. Games and applications are so much interactive and they are fun to play. But then, this Facebook is also creating problems with (reading) facing the books!


Hence, with Facebook today many long time friends who have lost contacts are once again reunited. With Facebook, it is now possible to engage in long conversations and see even the pictures and videos of loved ones.

With Facebook, many relationships are established and some have metamorphosed into life long commitment of marriage. With Facebook, students can share ideas on particular areas of interest and are able to tackle some challenges.

Facebook is no longer a monopoly of the young alone. Politicians have seen it as a very powerful tool for campaigns, knowing that through it, the younger generation can be reached.

Business-oriented individuals and establishments have also cashed in on the inherent advertising power of Facebook to market their products.


For those who are religiously inclined, Facebook could also be a medium for reaching out to fellow believers who also patronize it. Inspirational biblical quotations can be posted. You can never tell who can get inspired by that simple message you decided to post on your wall.

Facebook can indeed be a way to promote good news and share the word of God. You may be surprised to get a bazaar of thunderous “Amen” from people you do not know from Adam just by posting a prayerful wish or a biblical quotation on your wall.

Facebook can also be a powerful avenue for counseling, especially the young people, from the comments they post, one can predict their confused state of mind and helplessness in the face of certain challenges.

We can go on and on listing the merits of Facebook and why the young and old are almost held spellbound by it. But the pertinent question is, apart from the above advantages, are there some areas of concern we may need to pay attention to as Facebook users and potential users?


Facebook is used for the promotion of group study and collaboration, along with the further possibilities of educators and teachers having a “watchful eye” and a “helping hand,” in group discussions which can be taken away from the classroom.

Students have the ability to share ideas and their feelings towards a certain subject and help one another in problem-solving and understanding particular concepts. Furthermore, students can share useful information that they have come across in further research they have carried out, even from a topic the teacher has posted.

For example,  particularly a  useful article or an educational video – all of which can be brought “back” into the classroom for discussion and reflect positively in a student’s work.

From Facebook, you are able to organize private groups in which students are able to carry out essential large revision sessions in which everyone can benefit from.

With one person sharing a particular helpful point or comment or when a particular student is struggling with a certain concept and explains what it is they are struggling with on the Facebook group.

Groups where other students can come in and help with that aspect – which may help additional students too.



Gives satisfaction. Reading gives a great satisfaction to the readers. A famous phrase, “curling up with books” creates an image of a warm and close relationship with the books. Even parents feel satisfied when they see their children reading their books.

Children who read achieve better in school. Reading promotes achievement in all subjects, not just English. Children who are good readers tend to achieve better across the curriculum.



  1. Facebook is a time-waster.
  2. It can demotivate you.
  3. It makes you deal with useless people.
  4. It makes you deal with useless information.
  5. It damages your communication skills.
  6. It manipulates you to work on your post.
  7. It becomes your life.


You cannot eat your cake and have it. You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time. You either concentrate on one or you lose both.

Jesus put it succinctly when he said, you cannot be the slave of two masters. You cannot be a facebooker and a book-facer at the same time, with the same strength and level of commitment. It is either your love for Facebook reduces the love for your books or your love for your books will drastically decrease your commitment to Facebook.

Facebook as it is now, I can say with all boldness, does not make a student face their books. In-fact for some students, the last time they opened their notebook to read was the first day they got registered on Facebook.

Since then, their books which used to be their closest companions have been given untimely no notice. Sometimes I wonder how the name Facebook came about.

How did the inventors come up with this particular name? What was on their minds when they decided that this particular social network should be called Facebook? Were they expecting that through it, students would be better encouraged to face their books? Well, if that was their intention, I can category state that to a very large extent that it is failing.

With Facebook, some students are now backing off their books. And research has shown that the more time and attention you give to Facebook, the less time and attention you give to your studies and even your house chores and the result, of course, is obvious.

If only some youngsters can dedicate half of the time they spend on Facebook to their studies, our society will be overpopulated with geniuses in various fields.

Apart from the addictive nature of Facebook, some youngsters have found it as an effective tool for promoting immorality. Facebook for some has become a home of immorality. Vulgar languages, immoral pictures, shameful videos and posting of mendacious information, and so on have all reared their ugly heads into the Facebook market and are moving from computers to phones.

It is as though the devil has been waiting for this opportunity to get hold of some of his agents and customers. The kind of pictures some ladies post on this public site baffles me. Some even dare to post their nude pictures to this site which is accessible to the public.

To worsen the situation, a perusal of the comments made by so-called friends clearly shows that without divine intervention the whole world may soon become a global Sodom and Gomorrah. Pictures that people should be ashamed of and friends should shun their so-called friend for displaying, are welcomed with loud acclamations of praise and encouragement.

Even the very innocent ones are not left out. People who ordinarily, given their family background, cannot contemplate certain behavioral orientations are introduced into this free-for-all social network.

Facebook is time-consuming, and it is the main reason for getting fewer marks in exams day by day and it destroys written rules of any language. I formed a habit of using the short form in my writing and verbal communication because of “Facebook chat.”

Many new words like lol, ROFL, imao, etc got added into my dictionary. You have become “U,” Life has become “lyf,” expressions turned into smilies and even Facebook decoded into “fb!” I still remembered the moment when I got scolded by one of my teachers for writing such short forms in my final exams, during the exam period.

It has become an uncomfortable situation for all Facebook folks’ to make a balance between online time and study time. I have lots of friends who have quitted Facebook due to a lack of attention to study.

Smiles from their faces can be matched with those innocent lives that just got discharged from “Rehab.” It really needs guts to come out of this addiction by deactivating our Facebook account and I am so happy to say I don’t have such guts!

We must learn to be prudent in whatever we do. Courtesy demands that we do not display all our pictures and videos for the public.

You can never tell where you will be tomorrow. The very picture you post today on your wall may be your undoing tomorrow.

That immodest picture you decided to post on Facebook today can be used by your (political) opponent or your rival tomorrow to tarnish your image and destroy whatever ambition or vocation you may have.

Before you put any of your pictures on Facebook, ask yourself whether you will be proud of such a picture in about thirty years’ time. Again, common sense which as we do know is becoming increasingly uncommon among our youths, demands that it is not all that our friends suggests that we must carry out.

We must consult with our brain and consciences. We should be able to judge things critically. Our senses must be subjected to the dictates of pure reason. Once a picture is sent out there for the public, you can never retrieve it. Even if it is few seconds, you can never imagine whose hands It will be in the next minute.

_Do not make a stupid mistake that will affect your integrity tomorrow. Be wise!

More so, I think we do not need a professor to educate us that our privacy ought to be cherished and preserved. But, even if we do not value our privacy, at least we should respect and preserve the privacy of our parents, of our family.

The idea of posting pictures of even our parent’s bedroom for public assessment is, to say the least, unfair to them. There are some ‘face-bookers’ that the only part of their homes which the public does not know about is their toilet.

They have virtually snapped photos in every part of their homes and have posted all on Facebook. This is a gross display of imprudence and unwitting advertisement of stupidity or just to be a bit fairer, an exhibition of teenage naivety.

Be reminded that Facebook is not a hundred percent secure, at least for now. For some of the users of Facebook especially the silly type, there is nothing called secret again for them. Visit their profile and you will be shocked for life.

Some use Facebook as their diary to keep a record of anything that happens to them in life, ranging from the first day they hugged the opposite sex, the first day they were flogged by their parents, the first day they were kissed by the opposite sex, when they fall in and out of love, the first day their parents exchanged Mike Tyson- like blows at home and all.

Disgusting pieces of information that are not meant for the public are posted without any qualms.

I am sure that gradually a virus called ‘Facebookiosis,’ will soon begin to attack Facebook users. This virus will be responsible for the mass failure of students in exams, marriages, and of course fraud.

The virus is slowly and steadily changing the language of some users at an alarming rate. Very soon, many Facebook users, especially secondary school students, will be unable to spell simple English words.

Some students during examinations have had to cancel their papers so many times because of the use of slang and short forms of words. Some found themselves unconsciously writing ‘thot’ in place of ‘thought,’ ‘gud’ in place of ‘good,’ ‘bt’ in place of ‘but,’ ‘U’ in place of ‘you.’

You know the rest! I am afraid to say that soon Facebook will invent it’s own English language. While I may not have a problem with Facebook inventing its own English language, I am afraid that soon there will be a galaxy of West African Examination  Council  (WAEC) casualties. A friend of mine disclosed to me that soon, ‘WACO specialist hospital’ will be launched for WAEC and NECO victims.

One of the earliest symptoms found in those who may eventually be admitted into this hospital is a chronic obsession for Facebook which is visibly manifested in the victims’ phobia or utter hatred for her books, unwillingness to go on errands when online and suicidal intent when denied access to the Internet.

I think some of our youths are gradually becoming worthy candidates for a psychiatrist or spiritual home as the case may be. More so, some users of Facebook especially teenagers see nothing wrong in giving their phone numbers to people they have never met except on Facebook.

This is really injudicious! Some others even permanently make available their home numbers with a vivid description of their houses on Facebook. This is risky as you can never tell who may be interested in paying a special visit to your home in the middle of the night, uninvited! Let us use our common sense.

A young girl who has an exam to write but prefers to use her time for Facebook may only be digging her academic grave and that maybe ‘the beginning of her end.’ There is time for everything under the sun.

A time to be online and a time to be offline, a time to read, and a time to browse, a time to face your Facebook, and a time to back off your Facebook. I wish you all the best as you face your books and use your time wisely!

ALSO, READ How to Deal with a Drop in Your Teen’s Grades

Continue Reading


%d bloggers like this: