Obsession and how to get away with it
Okay, how to get away with obsession. You might not think you have one but maybe you do or maybe you don’t because you have not found it yet. Here’s the thing, we all have one obsession or the other whether we know it or not. We feel it, as stated before, whether we know it or not. We even develop it. It might be over an object, a few words, an event past, present or future, a type of food, an animal, or even a person. They can help us or paralyze us.
A person can have more than one obsession. The question is, is it healthy or unhealthy? But what is this obsession we are talking about? The meaning, signs/symptoms, causes, effects, treatments, and then how to get away with it. Let’s look at the latter first, shall we?
An obsession or rather obsessions, according to the psychology definition, are recurring images, thoughts, or urges that are intrusive and unwanted by the individuals or individuals experiencing them.
Obsessions are identified partly by an effect on the feelings and thoughts on the affected individual. They are cognitive in context and result in negative emotions. For some people, obsessions cause anxiety or distress. Obsessions may intrude into one’s consciousness unexpectedly. They are involuntary and exert a measure of control over the individual.
Some examples of obsessions:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Body Drugs Morphic Disorder (BDD)
Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD).
OCD patients have both obsessions and behavioral symptoms called compulsions.
Compulsions are ritualistic actions performed to neutralize anxiety created by his/her obsessions.
Causes of obsessions:
Research has linked obsession with psychotic disorders like delusional disorders and even schizophrenia. In such disorders, a key feature is that the affected individual suffers an inability to experience rational thoughts and perceptions.
Some obsessions have been linked to events that occurred in one’s past especially one’s childhood. Obsessions keep underlying emotions like grief, anger, sadness, loneliness, fears, and rejection, to name a few, at bay. Certain feelings are shunned because they were shown shame in childhood.
If such obsessions are shown in childhood it could bring about concern from parents and guardians who might try and help by making the child/ward suppress them.
Important: If you notice signs of psychological disorder and obsession in your child/ward seek professional medical advice. Do not try to do anything on your own without the doctor’s permission or advice as this could worsen the situation for the child now or in the future. Do not be afraid of contacting proper medical professionals and do not be afraid or show fear in front of the child. Do not treat the child like he/she has a contagious disease and do not treat them in a way they will perceive as you not loving them. These situations are sometimes delicate. That is why it is not advised to do anything with the word of a modern medical professional.
Obsessions can either be healthy or unhealthy.
A healthy obsession helps you get through some stuff without bringing harm to you or anyone else. Healthy obsessions can include baking, writing, exercising, and drawing. Things to keep your mind occupied from darker unwanted thoughts. They are actually like compulsions but not to encourage the obsession but to move away from it.
An unhealthy obsession makes everything worse. Generally over something bad or damaging like razors, sharp objects, blood, drugs, in which case is called addiction, sex, murder, bodily parts, etc. Compulsions for something very damaging.
General signs of obsession:
3.Jealousy over-obsessed item
4.No time for yourself
5.Violent reactions over-obsessed item
6.Happiness on seeing the target of your obsession to the point of relief.
7.Doing things compulsively.
Signs/Symptoms of obsession with a person (OCD and OLD):
In the case of OLD, the target of the obsessed is called a Love object.
You start following the object of your obsession especially if it is a person over a long period of time. And especially if it becomes annoying or frightening to the person being stalked. I know no one wants to be seen as the creepy guy or lady in the bushes. And better to know now is also a crime.
His/her friends are yours too:
This might be a total coincidence but if you feel the way obsession has been described then this is absolute, I repeat absolutely, not a coincidence. All of his/her friends are your friends too? Yeah…start seeking help.
Dislike for friends of the opposite gender:
Sure in a relationship, this might be a bit understandable but not when it is blown way out of proportion like forbidding contact with them, threatening said friends. This is definitely not okay when in a relationship because such relations should be built on trust and mutual respect. It is most definitely not okay when you are NOT in a relationship with the person.
Always in touch 24/7:
It is good to keep contact between friends, family, and partners in a relationship. It is crucial in fact. But when you overdo it such as always being in touch 24/7 then that is a really big problem which may cause annoyance and a feeling of being watched especially now with social media. Where you can tell who is online and who is not.
Replying texts/messages immediately:
Simple internet etiquette, when replying to a message always do that in the space of two minutes. It gets annoying when you do not reply fast enough and you are online. It also gets people angry. But replying within a few seconds consecutively will be noticed and if it does not take a step down it gets creepy and suspicious.
Attempts at controlling activities of the Love object:
Phone calls, friends, social media, where they go, it is pretty self-explanatory.
Happiness on seeing the target of your obsession to the point of relief:
This should be one of the things to tell you that you are obsessed and you should start seeking help. Every time you see this person you calm down. You have immense happiness or joy after seeing the person Every time. If this person leaves your line of vision, your anxiety acts up.
When I mean jealousy, I mean enormous amounts of it. Which may eventually lead to violence.
The tendency to only look at the positive or negative aspects of the Love objects:
This is pretty self-explanatory. OLD and OCD can be in the lines of love and hate. Love for OLD and both ways for OCD. One of the prominent signs of obsessions and signs that you need help.
This happens after jealousy turns to rage, you feel like breaking someone’s head open at this point or just generally cause bodily harm to the person you do not like being near or in the life of the target of your obsession. The subject of violence might even be on the target of your obsession. You end up hurting him/her physically.
Effects of obsessions
Inability to have sound relationships with family, friends, and partners:
This is the number one, effect because everyone around you will feel it one way or another and drift from you slowly or even worse, you do it yourself even when they want to spend time with you, even when they want to help you.
Your work-life slowly crumbling:
Although some people can keep their obsessions and work-related matters separate most people can not. And when that happens. Your work-life will slowly crumble, you will lose friends at work, the trust of your boss or employer because your work is not getting done. Your workload will pile up so much you can not handle it and ultimately you might get demoted and even worse, fired.
Going into a bubble and losing connection to the rational world:
Loads of people have bubbles, a little place in their head to get away from it all where nothing matters but then and what they want. Kind of a place to daydream and get away from the real world. It is quite nice, speaking personally, but all good things must come to an end. We have to step out of that bubble sometime and that, although it does not feel like it, is a good thing. Staying in that bubble for way too long is bad. You lose some rational thought if you do. Things do not make sense except what is in your head. Which is your obsession…
In the case of eating disorders and OCD, you can get diseases like diabetes, lung complications. Your body will begin to shut down.
Increase in debts:
To feed your obsession or obsessive behavior, you will invite debts, most of which you will not be able to pay.
Engaging in criminal activities:
This, of course, to feed your obsession. Especially in areas of addiction.
Going to Court:
This happens when one or more people decide to take you in there because you have either stopped paying bills, you have a huge debt on your head, you stole, got caught doing something illegal, the love object or family members or friends of the Love object sue you for stalking, abuse, attempted murder, murder, homicide,…you get a general idea.
If you have an obsession and are struggling with it people will know or at least have some idea or call you crazy. No one who has that in the back of their head would not want to befriend you, have anything to do with you or any members of your family.
Checking in to a mental ward:
Your family members or the court may deem you unfit to function in society and will check you into a wonderful establishment where you might get treated and cured or abandoned for the of your natural existence. Most times, family members want to take care of it internally and will ask the psychiatrist for medications you can take at home instead.
In the case of OLD and OCD, this is sometimes called a crime of passion. This is where the obsessed or the love target may die or both. You might kill your love target or your love target might kill you. Or the court might sentence you to death.
How to get over an obsession/obsessions
Find something else to preoccupy your mind. Develop a healthy obsession.
Abstinence from your target of obsession which could be drugs, a particular food, sex, a person. See how long you can stay without them and I do not mean one hour, I am talking days. Weeks. Months. But of course baby steps.
Do not use baby steps as a crutch. You will get nowhere.
Listen to your friends and family.
Get help from a certified medical professional.
Engage in a lot of activities like sports and yoga.
Take in new scenes. Try going on a trip, exploring, etc.
Make new friends.
Without further ado here is
How to get away with obsession
If you are obsessed with someone tries doing these to ensure you get away with it. I still advise you to seek professional medical help.
Hide your jealousy well.
Control and hide your anger.
Delete and burn excess obsessive pictures on your phone, in your room, etc so no one will know or get an inclination of your obsession. I do not mean one or two. I mean something like a hundred.
Go out even if you do not want to. Try and enjoy the rest of the day.
Do not try to control the activities of the target of your obsession.
Get people to stalk for you. If you have the cash for it that is.
Pay people off. Again if you have enough cash to do this.
Create accidentally meetups in a way that will not seem too much for the target of your obsession. It can be bumping into each other or helping each other with work or out on a jog. In the jogging, part make sure the person recognizes you first from afar. He/she might come to meet you if not wait a few more minutes like 10-20 and walk right up. Do not make it look like you know what is happening.
Make new friends and introduce them to the target of your obsession. So later not all his or her friends will be yours too.
Keep your personal life and work separately. Do not mix obsession and work. Try not to let them seep into each other.
Keep away from criminal activities and if you have already fallen that rabbit hole, try to get yourself out in a way that will not get you or anyone else you care for or had no intention of dragging into your mess killed.
Do not intentionally put anyone in the hospital.
For the love of God, try not to kill anyone including yourself.
Clean your tracks while taking all these points into account.
ALSO, READ SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION