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The Duties of a Father-All you need to know

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father kissing his son

Duties of a Father

Elder Robert L. Beckman said “father is the noblest title a man can be given, it is more than a biological role. It signifies a leader, an exemplar, a confidant, a teacher, a hero, a friend, and ultimately a perfect being”.

A father as we all know is a male who begets a child/a man who has a child. The term “father” may be used in a different context. In this context, we will center basically on a Father in a family setting and his duties. Although parenting is a two-sided duty and should not be inclined to one person(the mother), it has more to do with the father figure in the family.

As a man, there are certain roles that should be taken up in the society, much less the family which is the smallest unit in a society. The duties are what strengthens the family and build up integrity.

ALSO, READ COMPATIBILITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

Every man that knows his obligation to his family is being looked up to as a responsible husband and father. Your duties as a father are strictly for your Family. You are not a  responsible father to your wife but your children. These roles should be outlined in the course of continuation. The basic role of every man in the society is;

  1. To provide financial support:

A father should be able to assist his children financially until they are financially independent, and can cater for themselves. Children need financial backing for most things, especially at a tender age. Provisions should be made for the children’s education and other basic needs like food, shelter, and clothing. A good father lays the foundation of a healthy family by being readily available to provide for the children. Once you show that you are ready to take up your financial duties, your children would look up to you wholly. They would adore you as you have become an inspiration to them. While doing this, give and support your children with certain cautions, make them know that to whom much is given, much is expected.  You work hard to earn for the family. Whatever they need must fall within your income as a worker. That way they would understand hard work and its result, they would not adopt the habit of squandering while growing up. Also, it is helpful to know that in the journey or while making preparations to be a Father you cannot be tight-fisted.

 

 

  1. Spend quality time with your children:

No good father is too busy for his children. If you will be too busy for them, then why have them in the first place? Before bringing in the picture for having kids in a home, it is usual for the husband and wife who have busy schedules to create time for different activities in the home, for example, picking the kids up at school, taking the kids on private trips, involving in the school social affairs and so on. If, as a Father, your job demands traveling regularly, inform your children. Tell your children about the nature of your job and make them understand that you will always have time for them. Make things easier by picking out a particular time you would be available, for example, you can see them when you are on a break, on weekends, at the end of a particular month and so on. Pick dates at intervals. While staying off, it is advisable to reach out to them through the modern technical means, speak to them via calls, speak and see them on video calls, with such medium of communication, they would understand the message you are trying to pass to them. They would interpret it as “daddy is busy but regardless, he always makes out time for us”. It breeds love and improves the father-children relationship.

 

  1. Be a disciplinarian:

Most vices in the society inarguably sprung out from personalities, personalities that were learned from an environment that points down to the household. To be a good father, you have to adapt to the habit of discipline. You do not have to be unnecessarily strict. Discipline starts from perception, how you as a Father view things. You understanding the morals and standards of the society and feels the need to push your children to be a good book of the society. Every attitude your children put up is a reflection of your teachings. Take for example a young boy who has been caught and has been accused of theft in a market, amongst the crowd of people that surround him are the critics. People who judge the thief to the point of tracing their steps to their family. When a child shows a sign of stubbornness, makes silly mistakes, or has done wrong repeatedly, it is legal and divine to use any rational means to call the child back to order. You do not need to condone bad habits because the outcome is usually unfavorable.

  1. Emotional support:

Most fathers leave mothers to handle emotions or personal problems their children face. Most fathers absent themselves when their children are emotionally unstable. Normalize checking up on your children. Ask about their daily activities, their schoolwork, their social activities, their friends, or companies. When you open doors for conversations on topics like these, they would feel comfortable to open up on whatever it is that is bothering them.

  1. Religious support:

Every father who believes in a supreme being which is his creator should welcome the idea of connecting their children to that being too. Not minding the religion, you as a Father should create a certain exposure to your children about religion. A good family prays together and stay together.

If these duties listed above could be compiled and put into action, the results would be overwhelming and fulfilling. Your children would always put your first no matter what. Be that father that always comes through for his children.

ALSO, READ The 6 role of a Mother- All you need to know

 

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Love & Dating

How To Break Up With A Married Man With Ease

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how to break up with a married man

You tapped on this post because you’re in a situation like this and you feel guilty for dating another woman’s husband or you’re just tired of the relationship. But here’s the thing, you want to get out and you don’t know how to. So let’s press play and start this journey together. You want to know how to break up with a married man?……SOLUTION AWAY!

Now a lot of women out there get into relationships like this for reasons best known to them and because of those reasons they don’t see how unreasonable it is, literally, logically basically and practically unreasonable. But you tapped this post because you already see that it’s unreasonable and you just can’t keep up with.

Here’s the good news, you’re half way through the solution.

Now breaking up with a married man would require the following procedures:

8 Sure way to break Up with a Married Man

1: Put God first

This is the most essential part of making any decision in life even something as ‘Sinful’ as this. Basically it is called adultery, so you’re committing a sin with a married man, Even though the sin is more on the man, you’d still be seen as a partaker of it. Remember a sin is a sin, and when you’re involved you have committed a sin.

What does God say about adultery?

Hebrews 13:4

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

It says here that you’d judged for being adulterous, why would you want to face God’s wrath for just a few months of pleasure. Just be assured that, that married man would always pick his wife over you.

1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

It shows that it corrupts you, it reduces your dignity and the standard that you may have built for yourself, you become a shadow of your own self.

1 Corinthians 7:2

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

The bible gives an alternative, Get yours and don’t reap the fruit you did not sow.

Matthew 5:28

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This explains the side of the man, as long as the man looks at you, he’d always commit a sin because all he would need you for is sex!

Genesis 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

With this, You dating a married man means you’ve hindered the main ordinance of marriage, Coming Into the life of a married man means you’ve broken a bond that was made by God.

Luke 16:18

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

This is self explanatory. It buttresses the point of the former when It means you’ve broken a bond created by God. But this is seen in another context and still makes the same point. Whatever makes you date a married man who had been divorced is not love but lust, or just admiration for what he claims to be. Succumbing to him only makes you commit adultery. This generation doesn’t even see the absurdness of this, but putting God first makes you see this.

1 Corinthians 6:18

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

The bible also see this as sexual immorality! Which means you don’t just sin against God but against yourself. That’s a loss on both sides!

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Even though the man doesn’t see how wrong it is, be the first to make that move, do the right thing. You basically don’t belong together, if you are a Christian, what relationship does your righteousness have with such lawlessness?

These are questions you must ask yourself

Ephesians 5:33

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Make the man know this. His lust/love for you shouldn’t be in the picture if he claims to truly love his  wife. It is God’s commandment and he must follow it.

Read through the rest of the bible verses and drop your questions in the comments zone.

Malachi 2:16

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:39

A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Matthew 19:5

And said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

Genesis 2:18

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

1 Corinthians 7:9

But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Read your Bible on a daily basis, pray and always communicate with God your solution comes quicker that way.

After putting God first, The “how” and the “When” comes in.

How and when do you break up with a married man

2: Do a reality check

Face reality, he’s not the one for you, you’d always be a mistress to him, you’re only needed when he needs you and not when you need him. You have no true emotional support, you’d still be left alone to live for life on your own. Your only usefulness is quench is sexual urge or desire.

3: Become independent

Most women go into relationships like this because you feel like that’s what you deserve, to be pampered and showered money when you want or need it. You feel you should have everything on a platter of gold, but think about this properly you can make that money on your own and even more. All you have to do is believe in yourself that you can do it without the help of any man. Say daily affirmations to yourself everyday, encourage yourself. Stop blaming yourself for whatever guilt you have and own up to it. Face your mistakes and fix it. Start up a business of your own. Save up some money. You can become successful without the help of a Married Man!

4: Try to scare him off

Now testing a man’s love for his wife or the fear of losing his married is quite easy. This is where the intellect comes in. Try the pregnancy scare. Tell him you’re pregnant. His reaction would determine your next action. Not all men would accept it and some men would also accept. If he doesn’t accept it, that’s your cue to leave!  Now if he accepts it that means you have to work with option B. Ask him to file a divorce with his wife. Trust me, no man would want to lose his marriage to a woman he barely loves.

In rare cases the man might want to file the divorce. So just go straight to the point!

5: Tell his wife

This would actually be the best thing to do it trying to scare him off doesn’t work, tell his wife. Telling his wife does two things in one

  • Clearing the feeling of guilt that you have: This would make you free. It’s the truth so it would always set you free, you’d feel the burden lifted of your shoulders.
  • The fact that his children might hate you: While doing a reality check, you’d find out that if you end up getting married to that man, his children might hate you for life. Trust me if a child hates you, you’d barely survive in that house. So telling the wife actually saves you the stress.

6: Seek Counsel

You can talk to your best friend about it, or someone you trust, or an older person that might have had such experience or even a mother figure in your life. Talking about it with someone would also go a long way relieving you from that feeling of guilt

7: Cut ties

At this point breaking up with him would be very easy. Tell him how you really feel about the whole situation then let him go his way and find yours.

8: Get yourself back

Build back that standard for yourself. Make yourself happy again. Channel your mind to finding love when the time is right and work on getting yourself back.

In conclusion

Breaking up with a married man may not be an easy process, but the result is what really matters. You can get out of such relationship, just acknowledge that it’s a problem and work towards the outline given above. You can get yourself back. You can be happier. And your happiness is what really

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Love & Dating

10 Sure Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You

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signs your ex regrets dumping you

Being in love is a beautiful thing and being loved back by your partner is the best feeling ever. You would never want to lose such a beautiful relationship, however, never say never.

You should understand that, not all relationships lead to a happy ending as a lot of them ends in premium tears. Break-ups in relationships are inevitable especially when your partner is not committed to the relationship. Being dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend can be so devastating and the most painful feeling that you can experience in your life. After breakup, you will begin to wonder what went wrong in the relationship and you will have many unanswered questions. Some of the frequent questions running through your head might be if your partner has really moved on or if he/she regrets dumping you.

For the latter, you begin to look out for signs that show your ex regrets dumping you. Now let’s take a look at 10 common signs to be wary of:

10 SIGNS YOUR EX REGRETS DUMPING YOU

1.They keep communication alive.

“They say out of sight is out of mind”. However, the ex that claims to be over you still has you in mind if he or she keeps communication alive by constantly sending unsolicited texts to you. They will always initiate communication with you and ask all sorts of personal questions so as to get you talking. This may indicate that they are not truly over you and might want you back.

In cases where it may have been a while since he/she dumped you, but out of the blues, you begin to receive texts regularly from your ex asking about your well-being and all that, may indicate he/she wants you back.

Either way, they still care about you and feel some sort of regret for dumping you. It may be a sign you’re about getting back together.

 ALSO, READ Signs You Are Not Ready to Date

2 .They always want to hang out with you. 

Dude, you just dumped me, yet you are seeking for my attention! This is one of the best signs your ex regrets dumping you. Your ex simply still misses you and derives some sort of happiness being around you. His/her feelings for you are still intact and might think about you often.

So if your ex shows a sign of wanting to always hang out with you, perhaps, they are looking for the right moment to tell you they are still interested in the relationship.

3.They apologize for dumping you.

they apologies

When your ex finally realizes his/her mistake for breaking up with you and how hurt you must have been, they will apologize to you. This is because they obviously regret dumping you and would want to have you back in their life. 

4.They can’t stop keeping tabs on you.

When your ex begins to ask about your private life from your friends and keeps talking about you trying to know who you’re dating next, then that’s a sign of regret for dumping you.

They are always the first to like or comment on any post you make on your social media platforms even when you shut them out of your page. This obviously indicates he/she regrets the decision of dumping you.

5.They become extremely nice and caring than before. 

When an ex suddenly becomes more loving and caring towards you after dumping you, he/she probably regrets breaking up with you. Perhaps, they are trying to get back to you by being loving and affectionate even more than they did when you were still dating. They begin to shower you with so many gifts and love to show how remorseful they were for breaking up with you.

When you notice this, it is a good sign that your ex regrets dumping you and cares about your feelings.

6.They keep talking about the happy memories you guys had.

This is another good sign that your ex regrets dumping you when they are reminiscing the good times you had together. They begin to remember how you both made a great team together and realize it was actually a bad decision letting you go.

So if you hear your ex still talking about the best memories you had together and share them with you, it could possibly mean he/she misses you and would still want to create more positive memories with you.

ALSO, READ SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION

7.They suddenly got dumped too.

Yes, your ex can get rejected too by another person and will probably regret dumping you. They will understand that you actually loved them more, you wanted them to be happy and supported them in their worse moments. Right there, they will regret treating you badly and miss your love for them. They will realize that they lost something that meant a lot to them and would probably want to run back to you.

So if your ex lacks the courage to work through his/her current difficulties, it might indicate regrets for dumping you.

8.They are feeling depressed and lonely. 

they feel depressed

This is not a feeling that comes immediately they break up with you; rather, it is a gradual process. At first, they might feel in control and experience this feeling of freedom and power from the decision of dumping you. However, after few weeks, they will inevitably feel the loneliness and depression that accompanies a breakup.

When loneliness sets in, they begin to reminisce on the wonderful memories with you and a sense of regret from dumping you starts setting in. Although, an ex might move on and be happy but when this doesn’t happen, then he/she is obviously regretting the decision.

9.They can’t stop flirting with you.  

 Flirting is a sign of attraction and when an ex still flirts with you; it means they are still fascinated about you. The attraction and attachment was never lost and they regret not being romantically involved with you.

10.They beg you for another chance.

This is most likely to happen when an ex regrets their decision for dumping you and it is also your decision to accept the plea or move on. When an ex still loves you, then they will look for any means to get you back.  

Final thoughts

When you observe these signs from your ex, it indicates your ex still  loves  you and might want you back. But don’t be in a haste to take him back, I know this might seem difficult especially when you still love your ex a lot. let them woo you again and fight for you so that  you will be valued  more. If you make it easy, your ex might just end up taking you for granted again.

ALSO, READ 10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T DATE YOUR FRIEND’S EX

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Marriage & Divorce

How To Stop Dating A Married Man

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how to stop dating a married man

This generation of ours has made every negative thing a norm and tends to forget the absurdness of it. For example, The negativity around depression has failed to be seen as people find solace in it, speeding toxicity, another example can be seen in prostitution, where this is seen as a “Career” or a source of income. The world has failed to see the absurdness of this making women more objectified and this should not be. Another example is Dating married men, Women see this as a norm and a source of income for themselves, not thinking of the absurdness of this….They just do it without thinking!

When things like prostitution are made a norm there is a tendency that woman would date married men. Some of them do this for reasons best known to them, while some of them do it because of preference, they just prefer married men.

Some of them don’t even know why they do it, they just feel like it’s the right thing to do and they just go for it. Some of them do it to spite the wife in the marriage for one misunderstanding or the other, Some of the.do it because it was spiritually inclined into them.

But, This doesn’t mean that some of them are not tired of it, especially those ones who don’t know why they do it and feel ashamed about it, they want to stop but they don’t know how to, they have tried what they thought was right but still had the same results, and I know that you reading this right now might be one of them.

Ways to Stop Dating A Married Man

1: Acknowledge that it’s a problem

Until you see the absurdness of this you would not be able to make the decision of stopping it. Until you see why it is wrong and should not be done at all, there is every tendency that you might not make the choice of stopping. So firstly think about the absurdness, acknowledge that is wrong, and work towards your stopping it.

2: Put God first

When you acknowledge that it’s a problem, run back to the place of prayer and let God take over, sometimes spirituality is involved. Daily reading and meditating on the bible tends to change your perspective about life making you see more of the absurdness of Dating A Married Man.

ALSO, READ 18+ Proven Signs A Married Man is Unhappy in His Marriage

3: Set your priorities right:

It is said that some of them that do it and want to stop but can’t stop is because of the income they make from it, the comfort it brings and the solace added, making it their top priority. This is the excuse they have. But after acknowledging that it’s a problem and putting God first, set your priorities right.

Be independent, withdraw from that relationship, and start a life of your own, where you don’t have to rely on a man or a married man for your well-being, Establish yourself. This is one of the ways a strong woman is built, she starts by setting her priorities right.

Ways you can set your priorities right include

A: Believe in yourself:

Many women think or feel that they cannot do anything without the help of a man or a man who already knows how to take care of a woman because of his experience in marriage. But facing the fact that it is wrong and telling yourself you can do better than that, you can become who you want to become without giving yourself to a married man.

B: Do a reality check:

Look things logically, a married man would only see you as mistress and nothing more, he wouldn’t have time for you, he’d always come only when he feels like, you’re not being loved but being used. You’re not in a relationship that would lead to a happy married life, you’re just eating What you  did not cook, and what you fail to understand is the bitterness of the after taste, you’re in a relationship where you’re at the mercy of whatever he brings, whether it works for you or not.

He’s not going to meet your parents because you don’t expect him to leave his wife because of you, and if he was going to marry you, think about how his kids would feel, they would hate you for stealing their mom’s lover, can you deal with that?  Would your loved ones approve of it, ask yourself these questions.

Doing a reality check makes you come to a realization of these things.

C: Tell the wife:

This basically frees you from the guilt. Your freedom is what matters, telling the wife doesn’t make you a coward, or show your sense of irresponsibility, it only shows your level of good reasoning and good you have come to the realization of the absurdness of it. When you te the wife you are free.

D: Break up with him:

This is the point where you make that decision to cut ties and don’t go back. This is the point where your realization comes into reality. Then you can become independent.

4: Do a daily Mind exercise:

Dating Married men can be traced psychologically, as it becomes a mindset that has been embedded into you by experience, doing mind exercises can completely eradicate the thoughts of your mind. Close your eyes for ten to fifteen seconds, imagine yourself coming out of that situation or that mindset and keep working towards it by the first three things listed above.

5: Change your hobbies:

This might seem funny, but every little thing matters. Most women date married men because of their love for luxury and material things, they want everything on a platter of gold, their love for money would always cloud their mindset, and the fact that they always get it would set their hobbies to doing things that are luxury worthy. For example, Shopping every single day, reckless spending of money on things that don’t matter, etc. Therefore making these things their favorite thing to do.

So changing your hobbies to little things and finding your talent improves your probability of not dating Married men.  When you work for some things yourself and do some things by yourself without the help of anyone, you’d actually know what you actually like and what you don’t.

6: Seek Counsel:

After doing everything listed above, seeking advice from a good adult would do a great deal of detaching yourself from Dating a Married Man. A counselor would always tell the truth and give you the next line of action.

Conclusion

How to stop Dating A Married Man is a choice you have to make, a choice that has to come from the realization of the absurdness, setting your priorities right, changing your hobbies, doing a little mind exercise and seek good counsel. With a these well done, dating a married man would not even be a thought in your mind not to talk of an act!

ALSO, READ SIGNS HE WANTS TO GET YOU IN BED

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