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how to make a guy forget his ex

Last Updated on April 15, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

Does your guy still cling to his past love? I know how it hurts, but in this article, I will tell you how to make a guy forget his ex.

Letting go of a relationship (especially the one you thought would lead to marriage) is difficult. It makes you look like you did something wrong, and you can’t make it right.

For a guy not to forget his ex, even in a new relationship, means two things.

One: He still has feelings for his past love. Lastly, his last break-up was so bad that he still doubts if he wants a new one because he got hurt again.

How do you know that he is not over his ex?

1. He still talks about her:

Nothing hurts like having a guy who talks about his ex-lover whenever you two are conversing. He always brings her up, checks up on her,  calls her, wants to know how and what she is doing, and feels comfortable doing that. Know that it won’t be easy dealing with that.

2. He compares you to his ex:

Wow! He has got to be kidding me. I had this guy who, whenever you brought up something, would find a way to compare you with his past love, either in a good way or a bad one. He would keep reminding me of how his ex talks to him and things she never asks.

It kills a lot, and it is not something that you can stop in a day. Time and patience are needed to deal with this. Find out what he compares you to and avoid them.

3. He hates her:

That’s somehow tricky. You might think that his hating his ex is a good sign that he will forget her in a short period. The things that don’t pique your interest should not bother you at all. I can tell he still has feelings for her, and you have to act fast. Bring him to the point that only if he forgives his ex will he be able to move on with his life.

4. His breakup was recent:

In this case, you have to be careful; he might be using you to forget his hurting moments, and you fall prey to being his rebound girl.

Try to avoid spending much time with him and give him some space. Take things slow and try to build afresh and not to pick up from where he stopped.

5. He told you he’s not over his ex:

If he is sincere about his ex-lover, it means two things: he wants her back, and secondly, he doesn’t want her, but he can’t forget her.

There is a possibility that things can still happen whenever he sees his ex.

Know whether he wants to let go of his ex and sincerely move on because he will never treat you right if his mind is divided.

I don’t think you should stay with him anymore if he wants to reconnect with his ex-lover.

But does that mean you can’t do anything to help him forget his ex? If you love him and want him to be yours, it is time to take action.

Here are some steps to make a guy forget his ex:

1. Firstly, know that He needs time.

He needs plenty of time. He needs to heal from all those horrible moments. He needs to stay away from those memories that torment him.

No matter how long it may take, you need to be patient. Don’t complain about him treating you badly because of his experience. Just let him take his time and heal at his own pace.

What matters is having a positive impact on his life, and he will never forget your sacrifices for him.

2. Always support him

Always be there for him and give him the full support he needs. Be the friend he wants to be with. Show him that no matter what life brings, he has the right to decide what will happen.

Remember that he is hurting a lot and never takes advantage of it.

3. Never talk about his ex

Never make the mistake of talking about his ex when he is trying to recover from his pains. Just let him heal first and allow him to bring her up before saying everything you have packed to discuss.

4. Listen to him

He might try to talk about his ex-lover; listen to him. Assure he has you, and you won’t hurt him as his past love did.

5. Never compare his ex with you

If you genuinely want to help him, never compare his ex-lover with you. When you do that, it’s like tearing that wound again, and it might take him a whole lifetime to heal, and I don’t see that relationship working out.

Even when he tries to compare, just let him be and do your best to be the different version of what he sees in his ex-lover.

5. Don’t bother him too much

Know your limits. Know when he wants to be alone. Don’t bother him with calls or texts just to check up on him.

Know the kinds of things to ask to avoid him seeing you as a burden to him and making him regret having you around.

6. Don’t force him to love you.

You already know what he is going through. Please don’t come and give him another problem.  I know you want to be loved as well as be treated like a queen but it won’t happen so suddenly. Everything will fall into place if you can be patient enough to endure. Wear it like cloth, and you will see it won’t get too hard on you.

It will hurt you very much, but you have to sacrifice to get what you want or less. You just don’t want to stay. You can let him be.

7. Don’t try to be his therapist

You might think that because you are helping him out, it is ok to let him talk about his ex every time. In reality, this does a lot of damage to you by allowing his ex-lover to dominate almost your time with him whenever you two are together.

Ensure you let him know that bringing up his ex hurts you too. In this case, I suggest he talk to a relationship therapist and not to you.

8. Avoid the trigger

Avoid everything that sparks memories of moments spent with his past love. Music, jokes, places he has been to, movies, and many others can bring back memories.

9. Keep him busy

Please don’t give him the room to be thinking about his ex. Create an atmosphere where he sees only you. Do things or activities that will keep you two engaged for the rest of the day.

10. Don’t talk about your ex

Mind the kind of words you speak and avoid bringing your ex into it. I know it will weary you down. You will get upset waiting for him to heal, but don’t bring your ex back to get back at him. He might Walk away from the relationship.

11. Get to know him better

I know what causes the break-up, but in a lovely way- not forcing him to talk.

Please find out about his ex and try to avoid those things he talks about her. It requires a lot of courage to talk about this and ensure you can take it before venturing into it.

12. Do things she didn’t do

Find out what he loves doing that his ex-lover didn’t do. It can be going out, traveling, seeing a football match, and many other things.

13. Be someone worth it

Let him see you as the woman he wants to be with. That you are worth his time and trust, not the other version that brings hurt into his life.

He will appreciate you, know how to adjust to his experience and move on with you.

14. Never complicated the situation

Don’t bring your drama. Please don’t do things that Instead of you consoling him, he will be the one doing that. Try to be more mature and supportive. Show him you can handle it, and it will make him easily forget his ex.

15. Don’t get upset or feel insecure about his attitudes

If it will ever frustrate you, it will. But, if you want to help him move on, don’t show him your insecurity and get angry over the little things he does.

Just live your life and know how to avoid them so they won’t get to you that much.

It is OK to talk about them to him if you can’t take them any longer, but do that so he won’t feel bad.

16. Don’t be too clingy

I had this friend who fell in love so easily that she wanted to do everything to keep that love. She also fell in love with her best friend but didn’t want to tell him because he was in a relationship then.

But when she finally gets the chance she was looking for, she always wants to be involved to help him forget his ex.

She would always ask me if it would be fine to call him daily, check on him, stay with him, and always be there 24/7.

It looks good, but sometimes, guys want to have their privileges. Showing up every time can make them start avoiding you. Don’t be too clingy. Yes! You want to help, but that attitude can be annoying sometimes.

You can ask him when it is ok to call, text, come around, and not just show up because you think you are helping him to let go of his past love.

No, you are suffocating him with your disturbance, which can make him hate you too.

17. Have a time frame

Some guys can hold onto a broken relationship for months or years without moving on with you. They might be there with you without drawing the curtains of what they want. They take solace in you and keep feeling sorry for what happened.

Set your timeframe and know when it is due for you to take it. It might be a couple of weeks, months, or a year if you can wait.

It all depends on how long you want to give him to heal or wait for him to recover and move on with you.

18. If it doesn’t work, just let go

If you have done all these ( your roles) and he is too reluctant to let go of his ex, cutting him off is the best move.

Who wants a relationship where ‘the third’ is always involved? Where a guy is not ready to commit but always wishes to do this or feels sorry for it? Where you are the one giving your life, and then your partner is just there making it worse?

If he doesn’t want to change or move on with you, I think it is time to send a strong message, letting him know that if he can’t move on, you will do so.

It is time to set up what you want, and if he doesn’t meet your expectations, let him go.

A friend said:

   “ It hurts to be involved, especially in unrequited love, so do your best to stay away if you can’t bear it anymore.”

Let him know that if it is not now, then never. You can’t be there forever and have your own life.

This works very well in this situation cause if he doesn’t want to lose you, he will adapt.

19. And one last thing: don’t leave it open-ended.

What I mean is not having a fixed limit; weak boundaries. You can’t be telling him you are leaving and still letting him know that you are ready to wait for him whenever he feels like coming to you.

This sometimes makes him think you don’t know what you want.

You keep it simple and short. If he wants you, he will change. He will realize how you have been hurting inside because of his experience, let go of his ex-lover, and come for you.

I wish you all the best in this fight. Remember that the key to winning is being patient and knowing what you want.

Don’t change yourself for anybody. If he cares, he will play his part to give you all the love you deserve and let go of his past love to make you happy.

ALSO, READ 7 Unmistakable Signs He is Losing Interest in You


Originally posted 2020-10-13 22:38:31.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. onyia ugochukwu

    October 30, 2020 at 8:50 am

    You touched every aspect. Nice one, keep it rolling.

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