Does your guy still cling to his past love? I know how it hurts but in this article, I am going to tell you how to make a guy forget his ex.
Letting go of a relationship (especially the one you thought that will lead to marriage) is not easy. It makes you look like you did something wrong and you can’t make it right.
For a guy not to forget his ex even in a new relationship means two things.
One: he still has feelings for his past love and lastly, his last break-up got so bad that he still doubts if he wants a new one because of getting hurt again.
How do you know that he is not over his ex?
- He still talks about her:
Nothing hurts like having a guy that talks about his ex-lover whenever you two are having a conversation. He always brings her up, checks up on her, calls her, wants to know how and what she is doing and feels comfortable doing that. Know that, it won’t be easy dealing with that.
- He compares you to his ex:
Wow! He got to be kidding me. I had this guy that whenever you bring up something, he will find a way to compare you with his past love. Either in a good way or a bad one. He would keep reminding me, how his ex talks to him and things she never asked.
It kills a lot! And it is not something that you can stop in a day. It needs time and patience to deal with this. Find out what and what he compares you to and avoid them.
- He hates her:
That’s somehow tricky. You might think that him hating his ex is a good sign that he will forget her in a short period of time. The things that doesn’t pique your interest, should not bother you at all. I can tell he still has feelings for her and you have to act fast. Bring him to the point that only if he forgives his ex that he will be able to move on with his life.
- His breakup was recent:
In this case, you have to be careful, he might be using you to forget his hurting moments and you fall a prey being his rebound girl.
Try to avoid spending much time with him and give him some space. Take things slow and try to build afresh and not to pick up from where he stopped.
- He told you he’s not over his ex:
If he is sincere about his ex-lover, it means two things: he wants her back and secondly, he doesn’t want her but he can’t forget her.
There is a possibility that things can still happen whenever he sees his ex.
Know whether he wants to let go of his ex and sincerely move on cause he will never treat you right as far as his mind is divided.
I don’t think, you should stick around with him anymore if what he wants is to get back to his ex-lover.
But does that means, you can’t do anything to help him forget his ex? If you love him and you want him to be yours, It is time to take action.
Here are some steps to make a guy forget his ex:
1.Firstly, know that He needs time.
He needs plenty of time. He needs to heal from all those horrible moments. He needs to stay away from those memories that torment him.
No matter how long it may take, you need to be patient and don’t complain of him treating you badly because of his past experience. Just let him take his time and heal at his own pace.
What matters is to be a positive impact in his life and he will never forget your sacrifices for him.
2.Always support him
Always be there for him, make sure you give him the full support that he needs. Be that friend that he wants to be with. Show him that no matter what life brings, he has the right to decide what will happen.
And bear in mind that, he is hurting much and never take advantage of it.
3.Never talk about his ex
Never do the mistake of talking about his ex, when he is trying to recover from his pains. Just let him heal first and allow him to bring her up before saying all those things you have packed to talk about.
4.Listen to him
He might try to talk about his ex-lover, listen to him. Assure him, he has you and you won’t hurt him as his past love did.
5.Never compare his ex with you
If you truly want to help him, never compare his ex-lover with you. When you do that its like tearing that wound again, and he might take him a whole lifetime to heal and I don’t see that relationship working out.
Even when he tries to compare, just let him be and do your best to be the different version of what he sees in his ex-lover.
5.Don’t bother him too much
Know your limits. Know when he wants to be alone. Don’t bother him with calls or texts all in the name of checking-up on him.
Know the kinds of things to ask to avoid him seeing you as a burden to him and making him regret having you around.
6.Don’t force him to love you.
You already know what is he is passing through. Don’t come and be giving him another problem. I know you want to be loved as well as be treated like a queen but it won’t happen so sudden. Everything will fall in its place if you can be patient enough to endure. Wear it like cloth and you will see it won’t get too hard on you.
It will hurt you very much but you have to sacrifice to get what you want or less, you just don’t want to stay. You can let him be.
7.Don’t try to be his therapist
You might think that because you are helping him out, it is ok to let him talk about his ex every time. In reality, this does a lot of damages to you by allowing his ex-lover to dominate almost your time with him whenever you two are together.
Make sure you let him know that bringing up his ex hurts you too. In this case, I suggest he talks to a relationship therapist and not to you.
8.Avoid the trigger
Avoid everything that Sparks the moments he’s spent with his past love. Those things that can bring back memories like music, jokes, places he has been to, movies and a lot of them.
9.Keep him busy
Don’t give him the room to be thinking about his ex. Create an atmosphere where he sees only you. Do things or activities that will keep you two engaged for the rest of the days.
10.Don’t talk about your ex
Mind the kind of words you speaks and avoid bringing your own ex in it. I know it will weary you down. You will get upset waiting for him to heal but don’t bring your own ex just to get back at him. He might Walk away from the relationship.
11.Get to know him better
Know what actually cause the break-up but in a lovely way- not forcing him to talk.
Find out about his ex and try to avoid those things he talks about her. It requires a lot of courage to talk about this, and make sure you can take that before venturing into it.
12.Do things she didn’t do
Find out what he loves doing that his ex-lover didn’t do. It can be going out, traveling, seeing a football match and a lot of them.
13.Be someone who worth it
Let him see you as the woman he wants to be with. That you worth his time and trust not the other version that brings hurt into his life.
He will appreciate you, know how to adjust from his experience and move on with you.
14.Never complicated the situation
Don’t bring your own drama. Don’t do things that Instead of you consoling him, he will be the one doing that. Try to be more mature and supportive. Show him you can handle it and it will make him forget his ex so easily.
15.Don’t get upset or feel insecure about his attitudes
If it will ever frustrate you, it will. But, as far as you want to help him move on, don’t show him your own insecurity and getting angry over little thing he does.
Just live your own life and know how to avoid them so they won’t get to you that much.
It is fine to talk about them to him if you can’t take them any longer but do that in a way he won’t feel bad.
16.Don’t be too clingy
I had this friend that falls in love so easily that she wants to do everything to keep that love. And she fell in love with her best friend but didn’t want to tell him because he was in a relationship then.
But when she finally got the chance she was looking for, she always wants to be involved all in the name of helping him to forget his ex.
She would always ask me if it would be fine calling him every day, checking on him, staying with him and always be there 24/7.
It looks good but sometimes, guys want to have their own privacies. Showing up every time can make them start avoiding you. Don’t be too clingy. Yes! You want to help but that attitudes can be annoying sometimes.
You can ask him when it is ok to call, text, come around, and not just showing up because you think you are helping him to let go of his past love.
No, you are suffocating him with your own disturbance and this can make him to hate you too.
17.Have a time frame
Some guys can hold onto a broken relationship up to some months or a year without even moving on with you. They might be there with you without drawing the curtains of what they actually want. They take solace in you and keep feeling sorry for what had happened.
Set your timeframe and know when it is due for you to take it. It might be a couple of weeks, months or a year if you can wait.
It all depends on how long you want to give him to heal or wait for him to recover and move on with you.
18.If it doesn’t work, just let go
If you have done all these ( your own roles) and he is too relenting of letting go of his ex. I think cutting him off is the best move.
Who wants a relationship where ‘the third’ is always involved? Where a guy is not ready to commit but always wish to do this or feel sorry for? Where you are the one giving your life and the your partner is just there making it worse?
If he doesn’t want to change or move on with you, I think it is time to send a strong message, letting him know that if he can’t move on, you will do so.
It is time to set up what you want and if he doesn’t meet up with your expectations, let him go.
A friend said:
“ It hurts to be involved especially in unrequited love, so do your best to stay away if you can’t bear it anymore.”
Let him know that if it is not now then never. You can’t be there forever and you have your own life to live.
This works very well in this situation cause if he doesn’t want to lose you, he will adapt.
19.And one last thing, don’t leave it open-ended.
What I mean is not having a fixed limit; weak boundaries. You can’t be telling him you are leaving and still making him know that you are ready to wait for him whenever he feels like coming to you.
This sometimes makes him think you actually don’t know what you want.
You keep it simple and short. If he wants you, he will changed. He will realize how you having been hurting inside because of his past experience and he will definitely let go of his ex- lover and come for you.
I wish you all the best in this fight and remember that the key of winning is being patience and knowing what you want.
Don’t change yourself for anybody, if he cares, he will play his part to give you all the love you deserved and let go of his past love to make you happy.