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Making The First Move: Tips and advice for ladies



Last Updated on May 18, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

Making the first move.

You see that guy you are attracted to daily and you wish he would make the move. You wear the best perfume to impress him and he doesn’t even notice.

All your workout regimen and good looks go unnoticed. But somehow you know that there could be something between you guys.

However, in the game of dating and relationships, there is a general agreement that the guy should be the pursuer and the girl the pursued. It is fun being the girl who is being pursued. But what if you know a guy who is just too focused or shy to notice you?

So you find yourself wondering, ‘Should I make the first move?’ I can imagine you thinking about it. You don’t want to miss your chance at a happily ever after.

Yet most ladies say, ‘If he is interested in what he sees, he should make the call. If he isn’t, he isn’t.  Besides another guy will come who will be bold enough to make a move.

But have you stopped to think that love can be found in odd places and in odd ways?  I know I like to find love in odd places and odd ways. At least I can tell a story of romance and adventure.

The issue of making a move is quite controversial for ladies. There is the fear of not appearing cheap and desperate. Nobody wants to be perceived as cheap especially if you have managed to build your credibility and personality to standard. I know I don’t.

There is also the challenge of rejection. The guy can just tell you how he is sorry he is not into you. Some guys can even be patronizing about the I-am-not-interested-lecture.

But think about the numerous ladies who are happily married today because they dared to make that eye contact. They dared to smile at him. They dared to give out their phone number. They dared to chat him up.

While you might be thinking, ‘I am a lady for crying out loud’.  I know I like him but I will wait for him to notice me. Also not to pressurize you, What if you wait forever? What if he introduces you to his girlfriend the next day because you are scared to make a move? I know you don’t want to imagine how you feel.

Making a move is indeed an act of bravery for a lady. So if you are thinking how do I make my move? Read the story of these ladies who were willing to rebel and their experiences. 

“Although it was through Tinder, I made the first move by messaging my current boyfriend first. Turns out I was the only one who messaged first and it really stood out to him. We’ve since been together for almost two years and more to come!”

Steph, 22 

“I made the first move on my husband. I told him his T-shirt was cool and we should switch shirts. Later I said he should give me his number in case I wanted my shirt back.”

Christina, 30 

I waited for the whole year of eighth grade to make my move. Then, during the chaos of the last day of school, I wrote my name and number on a gum wrapper. I said ‘I think you’re really cool, you should text me sometime!’ He never did.”

Chloe, 18 

For real though on my lunch break a couple of years ago there was this hottie playing the guitar at the sandwich shop I was at so I put my number in his money jar. He ended up texting me how cool of a move that was but that he was already taken and really appreciated it blah blah. I have never returned to the sandwich place.


As seen above, every experience is unique. The choice is yours. Are you brave enough? Do you think you can accept the rejection? If yes, then make a move.

Like in every venture, you can win or lose. Either way, you belong to aside. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Let me know in the comment section if you have ever made a move and what happened.


Interviews  are gotten from here


Originally posted 2020-06-12 10:26:48.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. seraphine ceecee

    June 17, 2020 at 7:48 am

    you sure don’t want to know what happened to me after boldly making a first move.We were out for swimming as a group and my eyes met this fine guy. I could not hold back staring at him, Mmeehn he was a gentleman. Made my move to where he was and told him how handsome he looked and asked if we could hang out later. Guess what? He was tongue tied. I still cherish the moment though

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