MAKING TIME FOR YOUR KIDS
Making time for your kids might not be so easy especially if you’re a very busy parent. it’s very important to make time for them because it shows how special they are to you.
Children are precious gifts from God.
…no joy ever know when you hold this gift, no sadness ever know when you lose this wonderful gift.
Psychology says, reading to household kids takes 0.07 hours per day for kids under age 6.
0.04 hours for kids aged 6–12, playing with kids under 6years takes 0.60 hours per day and 0.09 hours for kids under 6–12 years of age. (Average hours per day)
Parents are supposed to learn how to spend quality time with there children, even if it’s just for twelve hours.
The major problem parents have with there teen children especially, comes from the fact that they never spent time with them when they were younger.
Even though it’s not always easy, like in the case of working-class parents.
There are a few ways you can do this:
By telling him or her you love them at every single moment you get: Many parents usually forget this ritual, yes it’s supposed to be a ritual…something you do every time, something you can’t/don’t forget doing.
Telling a child you love them every single day creates a kind of awareness in them, no matter where you are or where they are, once they remember that you love and adore them they won’t feel lonely anymore.
Psychology says, that the worst thing you could say to a child is ‘i don’t love you anymore’
And when telling them you love them don’t forget to show it to them. As they say, “Action speaks louder than words”.
Joy rushed out of the house as she was about getting into the car, her little boy of six comes rushing down the stairs straight to her screaming
“Mummy mummy mummy!”, the nanny behind him.
She dumps her bag in the car and rushes towards him,
“Are you ok Jackson?”, He nods,
“You didn’t say it…”, She tries to recall what exactly she forgot to say, then she remembers.
She gives him a forehead kiss, then another on his eyes, on his cheeks.
“Mummy and daddy love you…we always will”, she muttered wishing with all her heart that Ronald hadn’t left her too early.
She felt this sudden joy in her when he hugged her real tight.
This is one scenario about saying and also acting. Joy has never for once forgotten to let her son know that his parents adore him, even when his dad is no more…she still makes sure he doesn’t forget.
No matter the little time she’s got she still manages to make time for her little boy, this is how it’s supposed to be.
Pay attention to them:
Jane stepped into the house, she knew glad would be asleep by now it was one in the morning.
She yawned for she was really tired, the meetings she had today were really hectic.
She went first to check if the maid was around, she found the lady sleeping on her child’s bed. Glad was curled into her.
Something in her chest tightened.
She whispered the lady’s name so she wouldn’t wake her little girl.
“Good morning ma”,
“How are you? Hope she ate before she slept?”,
“Yes ma”, the lady nodded,
“Ok, thanks, you can go back to bed”. But the lady hesitated, “any problem?”,
“She was in a fight today at school”,
Jane couldn’t believe her ears, this was the first time she was hearing this, a fight? Why would her glad possibly go into a fight?.
“Did she tell you why?”,
“No ma…she wouldn’t say”,
“And her teachers, what did they say?”,
“They don’t know the reason…but one of them says I should tell you that you need to spend more time with her”,
Jane scoffed, “well I think they need to mind there business…wake me really early tomorrow, I need to speak with my girl…her dad isn’t back yet?”,
“Right…good night”, she said waving her away.
The next morning, her housekeeper woke her early, she made sure she was done preparing before she went to meet her daughter who was already at the dining.
“Good morning dear”,
“Good morning Mom”.
“I know you slept well right?”, The girl nodded.
Jane sipped her coffee and watched her daughter fork down her noddles after she was done and the housekeeper had cleared out everything.
She cleared her throat…glad looked up at her mother.
“Sweetheart I heard you fought in school yesterday”,
Glad hesitated first then she nodded
“You know I’ve always warned you not to do that…why did you fight dear Glad?”,
“But mom…you didn’t ask me what happened first”
“I don’t need to know what happened glad, I just hope it doesn’t happen anymore”. She picked up her bag and stood up.
“But mummy, if I hadn’t been in a fight you wouldn’t have spent this much time with me”.
Jane stopped in her tracks, turned to her little girl. Those words struck her heart really hard.
“What do you mean?”, But glad wouldn’t reply, she knelt and gripped her shoulders, “that’s not possible…I always spend time with you, I take you to the gym with me most times, even to the park…I take you outings most times, why would you say that?”,
“Mummy, sometimes when you take me out I still feel alone, you don’t even let me talk. You say I talk a lot!”.
“If fighting is going to get me your attention then I will keep fighting!” She said and turned away.
Jane sank down to the ground, she was confused she still had no idea where all this was coming from.
It made her heartache.
Did we notice the absence of her father in this story? The only person who made us realize that there was a father was Mrs. Jane.
Glad might have even forgotten he existed because he is never around, she doesn’t think about getting his own attention because it might never work.
She hardly sees him only her mom, who even though she spends little time with her daughter is always working.
This is another scenario that happens in most families, especially where there are working-class parents.
I’m not saying working-class parents are bad or anything, what I’m trying to say is no matter what or where the parents are, they are supposed to make time for there kids.
Many kids tend to act out the moment they realize they aren’t getting the attention and love that they really want, in other for them to get that attention they either go into fights or exhibit really awful behavior so that when their parents notice, the attention they crave would finally be gotten.
Like in the case of little Glad.
When you ask some of these children why they act the way they do, they reply, “if I can’t get my parent’s attention by doing the right thing I might as well get to them by doing the wrong thing”.
I don’t blame most children for the character they sometimes exhibit, it’s this lack of attention that causes it.
Sometimes when a child misbehaves outside of the home if you do some research, you’d find out that they act out not because it’s a hobby but because they are seeking, even if it’s a little attention from there parents.
They are trying to get their parent’s approval.
For instance, I know someone, he is in his third year in college, but he doesn’t care at all about his academic Life, his results are poor.
He hardly attends classes, or even sit for exams…his excuse, “my parents won’t give a damn…I just need to graduate and show them a good result. Money can do that”.
Now, this guy isn’t even fighting to get any approval or attention from his parents anymore, why? Cause definitely there was a time when he needed this approval and attention but none were forthcoming.
He must have done all he could but gained nothing out of it…so he decided to relax, builds this mindset of “well they don’t care…they got the money I might as well do whatever I want and still give them the desired results”.
So instead of him wasting his energy on doing the right thing, he spends his time doing just anything.
With his attitude, he might go far if he’s lucky enough and knows what it is he needs out of life.
I no another a girl…well this is my really close friend. She’s dropped out of college and is living in an apartment with a man who she claims totally loves her and gives her the attention she deserves.
Her parents still think their daughter is in school, every year she goes back home like a normal student and collects pocket money like every student which she isn’t.
And I’m so sure her parents will never figure it out, they see her as a perfect daughter…they forget that no one is perfect.
She’s the kind of girl who’s got this really strict parent, the ones who never let her and her sisters leave the house for any reason.
Her mother was always around, the father had time for them…but they installed a kind of fear in them that this child could not ask them questions especially when it came to the opposite sex.
She explained that they were leaving in a kind of cage, you don’t talk unless been spoken too, when you talk, you make sure you lower your voice, do not laugh out anyhow (it makes you immature, like in my own parent’s house where I should be free).
Anyway, they learned to keep things to themselves and learned to take advice from friends at school.
And it really affected this girl, especially my friend…cause now she doesn’t care anymore what might happen in the nearest future.
“Whatever happens happens”, that’s her favorite quote.
Some of the characters she exhibits in front of her parents are nothing to write home about, and no matter how hard they try now, they can’t go back in time to correct any mistakes they think they made.
Many parents think the best way to train their kids is by locking them up, by denying them to meet with friends, especially the opposite sex. cause they think their children might end up useless.
But that’s not it. It’s the wrong way to train a child.
It’s not the best…locking your child up, especially the girl child, it won’t definitely make her get married as a virgin, your male child, it won’t stop him from running into bad gangs.
I know another whose mother never let her out of the house unless it was a family outing, she wasn’t even allowed to wave, just wave at a boy, and most times girls.
But what happened? The next thing we hear she’s pregnant for a school boyfriend.
I wonder what the mother of that girl would be thinking, she might have tried to ask herself where she went wrong.
I will tell you where she went wrong. There’s a time when you let a child explore when you sit them down and ask them questions and tell them things.
Some parents are scared (I don’t know if it’s really fear though) to talk to their children about sex, they don’t even want to hear it from there children.
But imagine this child knowing nothing about ‘sex’, then one day in class, they join a discussion or overhear the discussion from there friends.
Then they start asking questions, questions they can’t ask their parents definitely and start getting answers they would never get from there parents.
Then before you know it they start doing research and different kind of issues start popping up. Not every child is that smart to know, “this is wrong I don’t want to do it”
“This is definitely a mistake”.
Not everyone has that self-control to stop things that they know isn’t right, not every child can say No.
Saying No…is not something that can be taught at home or in school, it’s something that can be installed into a child. Children need to learn to be strong-willed at all times, cause it affects them in the future.
But imagine the case where these children get to a particular age, the parents or parents sit them down to explain things to them.
When they ask questions you don’t cringe, you don’t scream at them asking, ‘where did you get that from?’, cause they might get questions from anywhere, even the movie they’ve watched.
Instead, no matter how infuriating those questions might be, you calmly answer them and even give them examples.
Tell them they are free to bring friends home especially the opposite sex.
But most of all make sure you do not leave them alone for the whole day with those friends, check up on them from time to time, cause definitely something might go wrong at some point.
Nobody is perfect.
When parents start making time for there kids at a young age not just when they are babies, there are some dirty characters and attitudes in them that’s going to die eventually.
Children will always be children, I say it’s only up to the parents to train them in the way they should go or rather grow and parents should always remember to always ask God to help them with this kids.
Because hmm….kids can be very stubborn, patience is a virtue that needs to be activated.
Click here to READ 20 best parenting tips