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Personal differences in a relationship

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Personal differences in a relationship: A Strength or Weakness

Everyone, whether male or female, aside from loving our partners, just really wish to have a perfect relationship. Some think the aforementioned is unattainable, a fairytale, or just a flimsy dream, while others believe it is possible if we work hard enough. But how hard is this work? How challenging is this journey to perfection, and how do our differences affect our relationship. All these are what we will be examining.

In terms of personal differences, can we find someone that is 100% similar to us??

The answer to that is an absolute No! No! No! Even identical twins who may act alike are never 100% similar, more or less two people from two different backgrounds and upbringing. We find that even in two persons that practically grew up together, they still have varying characters. It would be best if you never forgot that the aim is Compatibility and not Similarity. Having a love for the same activities, having the same ambitions, and responding in sync to issues is not the best for a serious relationship.

We are not trying to guide your relationship because, as people differ, so does relationships. Thus, what works for Mr. A may not necessarily work for Mr. B., but in most cases, our differences as an individual in a relationship can be a strength or a weakness.

As I always hear my parent say, if a relationship is all smiles and no fight or disagreement, there are two things involved; these are

  • One of the two is lying to the other. Meaning one of the two is concealing and not revealing everything he or she feels or thinks. This sort of thing happens even in friendship. Here is a good example. Hendricks and Jane are “supposed” best buddies, but, while Hendricks likes soccer, Jane hates anything sporty she would rather watch fashion shows. So, when it’s time to spend their fun time, Hendricks always takes the lead by buying tickets to a soccer match. And Jane will never grumble but, she will attend in all smiles.
  • Meanwhile, in her heart, she loathes soccer matches the most. Now, here is where it gets tricky, just how long can she keep up the façade? I hope we all know that Hendricks knows nothing about her feeling towards sports. He assumed she likes it since she is always so full of smiles whenever he gets those tickets. Now Jane is the one lying in this relationship, thereby making their indifference a weakness.
  • Secondly, the two of them are lying to each other. In this case, both parties are lying to each other. Knowing fully well, they don’t like something or aren’t comfortable with something they pretend and conceal and restrain. There a common misunderstanding about this as people call it love. But, how can it be love when it’s built on a lie and here I thought love is real. Of course, I understand that when you’re in love, you don’t force anything. Everything and anything you do is done out of a free will, even if you are not comfortable. However, it does not love if you can’t be sincere about it. Let’s use another couple to explain this point. Sandra and Linda’s friendship is the envy of the whole campus. Two people so compactible they never fight, a pair made from heaven, best buddies by divine pairing, etc. where other students’ thoughts. But, in reality, they were just two females who met by chance and have since been lying to each other about their entire existence. And these lies have kept them together for three whole years. Sandra was a total introvert before Linda, but because Linda was the opposite, she lied about her social preference just to gain a place in Sandra’s social circle. However, whenever they are out, she is always faking her smiles as deep down, she feels very uncomfortable and insecure. This is the same with Linda, who likes her junks but has to pretend a healthy eating habit to fit in Sandra’s world.

After fully understanding those two points, we can outrightly say the personal difference is a weakness in a relationship; however, this is not true. Assuming Jane had told Hendricks her irritation towards soccer but still choose to watch the match with him, it will strike a strong chord in his heart. He’ll know that she only goes to watch the game for him since it makes him happy. And in the future, he’ll have consideration for her likes. This will make their bond stronger because the truth is that she can’t pretend forever.

In Sandra and Linda’s case, their friendship is a fragile one, as no one can genuinely conceal their true self. Someday, a character will slip, Sandra will complain about the parties, and Linda will complain about the bland meals. Someone may even use it to blackmail them. But what if they both of them let their real selves out at the onset? They may not be similar, yes! But because they both are ready to adjust, they will be compatible.

In conclusion, the recipe to use to make your difference a strength or a weakness is this.

  1. To make it a weakness, lie about yourself and your likes, conceal your thoughts to a situation, in fact, fake everything.
  2. To make it a strength, share everything with your partner, be 100% real in all aspects but be ready to adjust for your partner.

ALSO, READ  10 HABITS THAT DESTROYS RELATIONSHIP

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Love & Dating

5 Best Ways to Attract a Russian Guy

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Chivalry is very rare in this modern era. Any woman today has had experienced being catcalled or yelled “nice behind” almost anywhere they go. To say that it has become sad is an enormous understatement.

However, this isn’t the case in Russia. Men in Russia are still as courteous as ever. Offering one’s seat in a public transportation system or even opening a door didn’t die with time.

Russian men will be a perfect fit if you wish to end up with a real gentleman. If you want to make them fall for you, below are the surefire ways to attract a Russian guy.

Shared Qualities of Men in Russia

But first, let’s talk about some qualities Russian men share and the values they still regard even in this modern time.

1. Respectful

Men in Russia have always had a strong respect for women and the elderly. They show concern to them and assist them with whatever they need. Gestures like opening the door or helping get down a bus are seemingly simple acts in Russia but are grand for most Westerners.

While others misconstrue this attitude of Russian men as an act of sexism, they think otherwise. Men’s courteousness towards women and the elderly results from their concern and kindness — nothing else. This attitude of Russian guys is easily traceable to the way men in the past treated ladies.

Unlike before, Russian men are more sensitive to women’s choices and opinions. They now listen to women’s voices. The technological advances or modernity of the world didn’t affect their perception of chivalry. 

2. Protective and confident

Russian guys are innately protective because of their sad history. They carried this quality until today because their women counterparts still expect them to be their protectors. 

Russian women also need them to take the lead in the relationship. They want to end up with a confident man who can make them feel safe and make sound decisions for the family.

3. Deep-souled

Russian men like to think about things beyond the grasp of understanding. While Western men like making casual talks to strangers in public, Russian guys don’t.Men in Russia do not see the value in casual talk as they prefer to talk about real-life matters. They like to dive into meaningful conversations.

5 Best Ways to Attract a Russian Guy

Now that we have that figured out, let us go ahead and talk about the compelling ways to make a Russian guy fall for you.

1. Learn how to cook

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

The saying is true, at least for Russian guys. Russian men’s idea of love is when their partner serves them dinner. While this may hurt any feminist’s pride, this is an undeniable truth for most Russians.

Men in the country love a woman who will prepare their favorite food, even when it isn’t tasty. However, if this isn’t your love language, perhaps a guy in Russia isn’t for you.

ALSO, READ How To Secure Your Relationship (Proven Ways)

2. Be feminine

Women from other countries want to do things their way — and there isn’t anything wrong with that. But, Russian men prefer to take the lead in a relationship. They like a woman who will trust that they can protect them, in general.

As such, to attract your Russian date, assure them that you need them in your life. Let them know that you feel safe when they are around.

3. Challenge him

Russian guys may like to be the more assertive ones in the relationship, but it doesn’t mean they always win. This is often something they look for in a partner — someone who’ll spice up the conversation or challenge them now and again.

Men in the country are highly opinionated people, and they would love for a woman to speak their minds. Telling him off when he’s aggressive or poking fun at him can also help lower his ego.

4. Laugh at his jokes

Russian men generally love a good laugh. Throwing out funny punchlines at friends at social gatherings is innate for them. It is a typical scene at any party, and for them, it’s an excellent way to strengthen any relationship.

So, show your amusement when your Russian date throws a joke. But beware — a Russian guy’s humor may be a little dark. They often throw jokes about death.

If you wish your laugh to be more genuine, study your Russian date’s culture and history. Often, your date’s jokes may also be about Russian movies or political scenarios.

5. Love his family

Anyone that understands Russia knows how much they value family. They are the most important thing for most locals in the country.

As your date, nothing will make a Russian guy appreciate you and your presence if they see you bond with his family. He’ll love your effort even more if you respect his family, even when they are hostile towards you — in case they are.

Cherish your interethnic relationship!

To find a loving and courteous man in today’s era has become more of a challenge.

Since you already know about Russian men, be sure not to settle for anything less. Look for your modern Ivan Tsarevich and wait patiently in the process. Once you finally find him, cherish him deeply.

ALSO, READ How To Improve Your Relationship? (Top Tips)

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Love & Dating

How To Improve Your Relationship? (Top Tips)

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Having a relationship is tough. Taking care of your relationship is even more difficult. You need to make sure that your relationship is going smooth so that it can last longer even a lifetime. Many people face problems in their relationship and this is normal. Life is not smooth.

We face many different situations in our daily life and our relationships are no exception. Your relation with any person depends on whether you both share a similar nature or not. If the person you are dealing with has a very different nature than yours then your relationship will suffer a lot. But life is all about compromises and you can compromise with your relationship as well. Here I am going to share 5 tips that will help you improve your relationship with anyone.

 

1. Be Neutral with your relationships

Don’t close your mind when it comes to having a relationship with someone. An ideal romantic relationship is one in which you don’t have a mental block with the person you love. You need to make sure that you understand what your partner needs or wants. Listen to them. Consider things that your partner says and take note of that thing.

If you keep your mind blocked on specific things then you are going to face a lot of problems in your relationship as you will not understand what your partner requires from you.

2. Understand their feelings

Whether it’s a relationship with your wife, your kids, your parents, or even your co-workers you need to know what they feel about you. Make sure that you never hurt someone’s feelings just because you think it is the right thing to do. Everyone has emotions and you need to make sure that those emotions are understood by you.

By understanding the emotions of others you are bound to be having a successful relationship. Understand what the other person wants to convey and then speak anything.

ALSO, READ LOVE CONFESSION TEXT MESSAGES FOR HER OR HIM

3. Control your temper

control your temper

One of the worst things that can destroy a relationship is your temper. Have your anger under control and your relationship will survive, One of the reasons many relationships fail is because people become too aggressive.

They know that the person they have a relationship with will listen to them whether they are angry or not. This is because relationships are complex. People get habitual to the temper of their partners because they have feelings for them.

People can do anything for their partners and they are also ready to deal with their partner’s anger as they have feelings for them. But you need to make sure that you don’t get angry with kids, your wife, or your family no matter what if you want a healthy relationship.

4. Keep your work and personal life separate

Make sure that when you come back home from your office, you keep your office life at your work and your personal life separate. If you involve your work life with your personal life then your relationships are going to suffer. Work is stressful in many cases. We deal with a lot of people in our work on a daily basis.

We will face a lot of people who are going to temper our mental level and if we have that same temper level when we come home then the people at home will suffer as well.

5. Give time to people you love

You need to know how to love. Give time to people you love. If you don’t give time to people you love then your relationships will fall down. Your partner, your parents, or your children need your time.

If you don’t give time to them they will think that you are not part of their life and they make start to drift away from your life slowly. These small things may look ignorable but in a long run, they will have a large impact on your relations.

Make sure you keep note of these 5 things and your relationship will be improved for good. Make sure that your ego doesn’t come forward with the person you love and have affection for.
ALSO, READ BEST ROMANTIC LOVE LETTERS FOR HIM OR HER

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Love & Dating

How To Secure Your Relationship (Proven Ways)

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In this life, no one wants their relationship to fail. securing your relationship is a question of how much effort you are willing to put into the relationship.

But before we go into these tips why not ask these questions and do a quick self-check to be sure of why these tips are important.

Important questions to answer before learning how to secure your relationship

  1. Are you worried that your spouse will find a better person?
  2.  How far are you willing to go for the relationship?
  3. What are your desired end results for the relationship?
  4. What lengths are you willing to go to secure the relationship?
  5. Are you feeling anxious in your relationship especially when you are with your partner?
  6. Are you a little too clingy even to the point of pestering?
  7. Are you in love or desperate?

 

  1. Are you too insecure?
  2. Are obsessed with your partner?
  3. Are you possessive?
  4. Do you “over-check” on your partner?
  5. Is your partner trying to evade your attention?
  6. Do you downgrade your value in your relationship?

 

  1. Are you quick to pick fights?
  2. Do you feel threatened by third parties, even when there is no cause for doubt?
  3. Do you require constant reassurance from your partner?

When you have answered the above questions, then you can look at the tips we came up with after thorough research to help you in this journey. They will guide you in making your relationship remain faithful and secure.

Don’t leave us behind in this journey you can contact us for counseling and advice. Let us hold your hands in this walk. We are here for you

12 Way To Secure Your Relationship

1. Ensure The Communication Lines Are Always Open

ensure communication are open

If you are having issues in your relationship, talk about it. However, if it’s hard talking about it, then solving the issue will be even more difficult. So when the awkward moment occurs, learn to talk about it and that leads to coming to a compromise and eventually solving the problem.

2. Always Do A Rain Check On Your Relationship.

This is because you want to ensure everything is working well. Doing rain checks prevents loopholes because you detect the faults soon enough. How to do this is by asking a strategic question like asking for honest feedback from your partner.

3. Find Balance In Your Relationship.

Learn to balance things up in your relationship. To properly secure your relationship, you must balance things up in your life. A healthy amount of intimacy and not bad, a right amount of attention is clinginess and a right amount of space is not neglect. If you find this hard, seek counseling. You can contact our counseling TEAM

4. Know When You Are Being Insecure And Work On It.

Anxiety is one of the major causes of unpleasant and distressing feelings in relationships. And because we are humans our natural reaction will be wanting to “get rid” of them. This is why they eventually become clingy and over-checking on his/her.

Even if you do feel insecure you should not always act on it but work on it. So you don’t mess up the beautiful things you have going on. The truth remains that everyone on earth feels insecure at one time or the other but what we do with that feeling is what matters.

ALSO, READ ROMANTIC MESSAGES FOR HER OR HIM

5. Understand Your Level Of Independence.

psy

In therapy, most people will say they are fine and do not need people. And this is one of the reasons why people stay in miserable relationships for a very long time. Or even date people who are not good for them knowing full well they are headed for doom.

If you are having issues that you are unable to solve or finding it hard to make a decision, seek therapy. It’s not just for “big problems”. If you require any form of assistance in your relationship, it will be best you seek a professional rather than a telling a friend.

6. Do Not Show Insecurities. It Makes You Weak.

In learning how to secure your relationship, you must be very careful in how you deal with it. When you are feeling insecure, and you show anxiety, it sends the wrong signal to your partner.

Your partner feels you’re telling them that they are bigger, better, and more important in the relationship. You are simply saying that you have no value and that your partner calls the shots. Getting scared of losing your partner is normal and quite common. But don’t be too engrossed in the relationship that you lose yourself. Remember you are just as important as your partner and you always have a choice.

7. If You Are Always Thinking Of Cheating, Seek Counseling Or Therapy.

I know sometimes, you may feel like telling a friend or a close relative. That is not bad at all but you must understand that these are not professional. And what you need at that moment is not sentimental comforting but professional help.

You need help because, though you love your partner, you can’t help thinking about cheating. What you think about overtime becomes reality. So, before this becomes a reality, you must curb it and secure your relationship.

8. Never Be Alone With An Ex-Lover.

Whether you were attracted to them or not, or what you had ended on a bad note. You should never be found alone with them. If you loved them or something happened between you two before it’s possible for something to happen now

9. Don’t Be Found Around Who Are Being Unfaithful.

“Evil communication corrupts good manners” is as true as it gets. When you hang around people that cheat it’s very possible for you to cheat and see nothing wrong with it. Your partner may not trust you if you keep friends who cheat on their partners. Even if you are not encouraging them in the act, “best of same feathers flock together.”

10. Always Reassure Your Partner Of Your Love.

Tell them you love them often. Don’t be stingy with sweet reassuring words if you really want to secure your relationship. Sometimes, look into his/her eyes and tell them you will choose them over and over again in any situation. When you feel you’ve lost touch with their feelings, tell them you miss them and you want them back. In all cases, words are powerful and this is why even the most beautiful woman still wants her man to tell her she is pretty. She knows how beautiful she is, she just wants to hear it.

11. Make Plans For Intimacy Time.

intimacy

When it’s time for romance please put in detail. Don’t get too familiar with your partner when it comes to intimacy. If you become too familiar, your romantic sex life becomes boring.

When going on a date no matter how casual, dress for the occasion. Ladies, please put on lipstick at least, it’s a date after all. Keep the magic alive.

12. Don’t Compare Your Relationship With Others.

Social media has ruined a lot of relationships because we fail to understand that those people are just doing showbiz. It’s all show business. a large percentage of them are just acting because they want you to like them. I mean who adores a couple that is always fighting? Social media is no what it seems, all is rosy there but it’s thorny in reality. So, why will you compare your relationship to theirs? Instead, just work on getting better in yours and grow intentionally.

One of the tools of not losing people is value. If you offer people value, they will not want to let you go. If your partner knows there is a void you are filling in their life, and they feel special with you, it will be hard to lose them.

It’s true that every partnership takes effort. Just how much of that effort you are willing to put in makes the difference and it should be a collective effort, not just you.

ALSO, READ How To Get The Love Of Your Life Back Without Stress

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