WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE UNHAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP
We would be talking about what to do if you’re unhappy in a relationship. Relationships aren’t perfect because it is usually made up of two imperfect people but then it should ‘add’ and not take away our peace and happiness, a healthy relationship should challenge us to grow, add glitz, and fun too…. but sometimes it is not always like that. Some relationships turn out to be toxic and bad, making one unhappy all the time.
Signs you’re unhappy in your relationship
You are always complaining
You resent your partner
You feel insecure and bitter oftentimes
You suddenly lose the desire to do something you used to love to do before
You find an excuse to be somewhere else other than with your partner
You feel you might be walking on eggshells
If this sounds like you then you are probably in an unhappy relationship, nobody should endure an unhappy relationship because it may do just more harm than good.
Even if you’re still interested in keeping the relationship, maybe because of several reasons; like the length of the relationship or you both share a flat or have a kid together.
Breaking up and moving on might be hard but it is not advisable to endure, because oftentimes your resentment might rob off on your personal life.
There are certain things you can do if you find yourself in an unhappy relationship without calling it a quit right away.
1. Evaluate the situation: First, you have to sit in a quiet place, with a pen and jotter try to understand the situation you are currently in. How do you feel about it? How unhappy are you?
Does it sap your energy, peace, and happiness? Does it make you hate your partner or people around? Tell yourself the truth when trying to understand the situation. Make sure you write out exactly how this makes you feel.
2. Analyze the problem: Now that you understand how you really feel and how the situation affects you, it’s now time to find out the main problem for this.
Usually, you could feel your partner is no longer treating you the way you want to be treated and that is why you feel unhappy in your relationship but sometimes it may not be your partner’s fault.
It might be your boss at work, who is always on your neck or the plenty of chores you have to do at home alone because you feel angry, you might just unnecessarily vent your anger on the people closest to you, who usually is your partner.
Your partner who doesn’t know what you’re going through might just snap back and starts developing cold feet for you. Sometimes it might not be from your end,
maybe your partner has been fired from the office, he is sad and frustrated, he no longer wants to do the normal things he usually does for you and with you.
The problem could be anything, probably just a misunderstanding and so it’s important you know the root cause and when it all started.
3.Communication: After knowing the root cause, it’s time for you to pick a good day and time to discuss the situation with your partner. You can tell them how the situation makes you feel, what you understand might be the problem, and what you both can do to handle the situation.
Understand this is communication, so you must allow your partner to also contribute and speak!
4. Work on the problem: Now that you both have come out with a solution, everyone should do their part in making sure the problem is solved.
5. You may just have to give up: Yes you should, especially if you tried to communicate with your partner and he or she isn’t making efforts. You can’t continue to go unhappy and worn out. Do yourself a favor and give yourself a break from the relationship. You deserve to be happy and joyful in your relationship!
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How To Spoil Your Man (Experts Advice)
It feels so good to be showered with love, care, and attention, you know that feeling when your man spoils you with gifts and surprises.
Everyone loves the idea of been spoilt, it’s not meant for a particular gender.
Women rarely think of how to spoil their men or make them feel loved. If you are among the few women thinking of how to treat your man right then you are very close to winning his heart forever. Men also need to be loved and cared for, they need our attention too, it mustn’t be all about us.
Generally, women are used to being loved and cared for by their men and they feel to realize that they also need that tender care from their women.
You don’t need to wait for a special event before you show him some love. You can surprise him with a lovely gift, a love note, or even a surprise dinner for just the two of you. Men also crave for these things, you shouldn’t always expect to receive love and care but learn to extend it to them.
If you have been thinking of how to make your man feel special and loved or you want to communicate how much you love him, then below are some useful tips on how to spoil your boyfriend.
Best ways on how to spoil your man (12 Proven Tips)
1. Give him a massage
A massage will make a great deal for him especially when he just returns from the day’s activity. Men love the soft tender touch of a woman, it relieves them of their stress having you around makes them forget how stressful and tiring their day went.
ALSO, READ How to make a guy fall in love with you
2. Suprise him with his favorite home-cooked meal
There is a saying that, the easiest way to a man’s heart is his stomach. This adage is still working. if you want to please your man, prepare his favorite meal by yourself. Men love the taste of home meals. Eating out is great, but you can never measure the joy in a man’s heart when he eats the food prepared by his WOMAN for him.
3. Send him unexpected text messages
Sending messages shouldn’t be left for men to do alone, you know how you feel when you just receive a love text message from your man. That feeling of love that flows like an electric current, which makes you happy all day.
You should also do so, let him have that same feeling. You can send him while at work or even when he is sitting on the couch focused on the newspaper.
4. Spoil him with random gifts.
Men also love gifts, the fact that they rarely mention it doesn’t mean they don’t value or appreciate it when you buy them a gift. It will be nice if you buy your man a gift, especially something he has been craving for; this single act will make him love you more.
You must not wait till his birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas to buy him a gift. let your gift come unexpectedly, it will be more appreciated.
Give him a valuable gift and tell him how much he means to you. Let him know you cherish every moment spent with him.
5. Leave him a Love Note
Leaving love notes triggers his emotions, which indicates he is always on your mind. It could be on the stairs, in his briefcase or suit pocket, wherever that seems right to you; Just make it brief and romantic. Here are some samples of a romantic love letter to keep for him.
6. Buy him flowers.
The idea of buying flowers has been thought to be for women alone, flowers depict love; so it’s not a gender thing. Get your man some beautiful lovely flowers with a nice fragrance, you will have him all around you.
ALSO, READ Cute Paragraphs For Him After An Argument
7. Plan a date night
Wow! A date night doesn’t sound romantic, sure it does. Just imagine what it will look like when your man comes back from the day’s work and he meets you all dressed for dinner, with the table set with different dishes. It will be a very wonderful scene to behold.
You can also plan an outside date, it mustn’t be an in-door date, it could be in a nice restaurant, just make the dinner romantic, let the moment be memorable and remarkable.
8. Give him compliments
Just as women love to be flattered and complimented, men also love to be complimented, it triggers their “Hero instincts”. It shows that you appreciate them and you love them the way they are without having any reservations.
9. Plan a surprise
A surprise event can actually do in this case, it could be a surprise party for his birthday, your marriage anniversary or to celebrate his promotion. This will really mean alot to him.
10. Take care of his laundry
This is a rare task, these days you rarely see women washing their husband’s clothes. So doing his laundry simply means you care about him and his looks and you want him to always be at his best. do his laundry and make him happy, it really means alot to them to see their women taking care of their personal belongings.
11. Plan a romantic weekend getaway.
This is an opportunity for the two of you to be together, having a quality time alone to bond and make up for the times lost. It must not be work always.
plan for a vacation or a weekend and enjoy the best of the moment.
12. Go on a mini road trip.
A mini trip is just like a short vacation or a short-distance trip to rekindle your love and ease you guys of the stress from your daily activities. It mustn’t be an expensive trip, the most important thing is the bonding and quality time spent together.
13. Get the ingredients for a new recipe and cook dinner together.
Go to the market and get some new recipes to prepare a nice dinner, you too can cook the food together, this is one of the most wonderful moments. The last time I did this with my husband he was so happy and he wished we do it often.
14. Watch the sunset.
Have you ever watched a movie where two lovers sit together holding hands or cuddle each other watching the sunset? You observe the vibe and the beautiful romance in that picture,try and practice same with your man.It is a moment for you guys to feel each other and express your love for each other.
15. Spend the day together with your phones turned off.
Our phones and other personal gadgets can distract us and make us distant from our partners. These days, couples rarely have time for each other because of social media.
Try spending time together with your phones off, to avoid distractions and keeping you away from your partner. The more time you spend together the closer you guys become and the stronger your love for each other.
A little more piece
Spoiling a man doesn’t make you look cheap or desperate for his love and attention. The more you care for him, the closer you are to his heart his love for you increases. It’s nice to reciprocate the gesture he shows towards you as well.
Men wish to be loved too and pampered, treat them like your hero, your baby, and your partner. The love we desire from them is also what they desire.
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How To Tell Your Partner To Lose Weight
One of the most agonizing things to do in life is hurting your loved one. Most especially if that said loved one, is your soulmate.
Many people are now stuck, thinking how they can tell their partners how to lose weight, without offending their missing rib.
But like all good things, in life. The only easy way is the hard way. As such, you should be ready to dish out a healthy dose of tough love.
After all, you want to stay with that person for as long as possible, before “Professor Death”, comes to mark your life script.
What shall it profit you to keep quiet, then watch your partner, jeopardize their health, and ultimately, your relationship?
So for this reason, you need to take the initiative and stand firm. After all, because you love them, that is why you need to whoop their ass.
4 Ways to Tell Your Partner to Lose Weight
1. Think about the health implication
You have to note that if you don’t help your partner, nobody else would. As such, you are entirely responsible, for turning the tide of health, of your partner.
Remember the vows you took, to love and protect. This is an opportunity to prove to yourself that you love your partner.
2. Be there for them
Nobody was born fat. Due to ignorance in part by people, over time the ill effect took root, and metamorphosed itself, into that protruding belly, which is ridiculous.
Gift them an online weight loss course
There is fat-shaming in the world. As such, the best option, can actually, be learning how to lose weight at home.
I discovered an easy to use 6 months weight loss plan that you can use to lose weight, right in the comfort of your home. In the early stages of your weight loss journey.
3. Encourage them
Make sure you encourage your partner, at this lowest point in their lives. It will do well in lifting up their spirits and morale.
So that they can keep on pushing, in their journey of trying to lose weight.
4. Change the kitchen foods
You can swap out all the junk foods from inside your house. That way, your partner is not tempted to relapse into their previous bad eating habits.
5. Don’t be a menace
At the end of the day, you must realize that nobody cares. When all is said, and done, you will eventually die, and that weight loss goal will be buried with you, six feet in the ground.
So don’t fret too much. Nevertheless, if you can’t stand it, then learn how to lose weight at home, by following our 6 months weight loss program.
15 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You
You ended things with them; and now, they are really acting Strange towards you. It could be signs your ex is pretending to be over you when he/she is not. Some Signs you get after a breakup is not something you want to misinterpret regardless of how bad the breakup was.
Once upon a time, things were good between both of you. Because things came to the point of breakup, doesn’t mean you have both moved on. Just because, you called it quits some time ago; doesn’t mean everything that happened between you two, is forever erased.
One of you may just be faking it. Because you are human and once knew this person, there are signs that will point you in that direction.
He may be texting you or behaving in a weird way. And because he/she is just expressing their feelings; it may be confusing to understand.
Also, depending on the reason for the breakup or situation, you may both still come back together or not.
In this article, let’s let clarify one important fact before looking at the 13 observable signs that your
Can Your Ex Pretend To Move On?
Yes! In actual fact, it may be the reason you are reading this article. You probably do not just understand the person’s actions toward you.
According to Ken Page, who is a therapist and relationship expert, “there are different ways people pretend to be over someone, its either they’re lying to themselves, their ex, or other people in their lives”. “They do that because they want to be resilient and it’s terribly hurtful to go through a breakup.”
He added, that it’s not uncommon to try moving on quickly to a place of being over someone. He also explains that on a general note, we are never truly over someone as much as we claim to be.
According to Psychologist and relationship expert Margaret Paul, Ph.D., “pretending to oneself is the most common pretending of all”. She also says “I have worked with people who kid themselves into thinking they are over an ex when they really aren’t,” adding that. “Many people don’t want to do the inner work to really be over an ex and simply pretend to have moved on”.
Based on the work of these amazing persons, we can deduce that in fact, many people do pretend to over their ex a lot of times. And it’s more common than we think; it could have even happened to us in the past unknowingly. And also, your ex may just be pretending to be over you.
We all deal with breakups differently. While some are continually in denial; others just let out all the feelings by crying, eating too much, drinking to stupor, and so on. Thus, your ex may just be pretending to be over you to escape reality.
Now let’s get the signs. Beware; they may not show all these signs. However, if they show at least two of these signs, you are right on track.
Here Are 15 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Move On
1. The Signals From Them Is Not Straightforward
This is a sign your ex is pretending to be over you. Because the signals you are getting from becomes very confusing to understand. They show mixed signals, that you find very hard to interpret.
When you ask how they are, they say they are doing very fine; yet they look otherwise. For the guys, his beard may be unshaved, his clothes rumpled, he may reek of alcohol and still tell you he is doing amazingly well.
Or, He may look very sharp and well shaven but with heavy bags under his eyes. You can literarily see exhaustion written over them yet they maintain they are fine.
2. Their Emotions Towards You Are Extreme
This means that everything they feel towards you is heightened. They usually mask the love they have for you; with extreme emotions, like love, hatred, and sadness.
They may not want you to see through their façade so; they hide it, by exhibiting something entirely different. And because they have not moved on, they will eventually show you these extreme emotions.
3. They’re Drunk Dialing You
There is a very clear indication, that they are not over you yet; and only pretending. Drunk dialing can be very annoying; because they’re not even totally aware of it.
But, because they are thinking about you; the first person that comes to their mind to ring in that state is you. It’s now totally dependent on you; if you want to take the call.
4. They’re Drinking A Lot.
Even if normally, the person drinks, it is intensified after your breakup. And even after time has passed, they’re still drinking.
People drink for various reasons; but in their case, it’s to escape the reality, that you are not in the picture anymore. Because of the hurt and sadness, they will try to drown all these feelings in alcohol. Which is why he will drunk dial you.
5. They Keep Trying To Explain The Breakup.
If all he does, when he calls, is to keep explaining the reasons for the break; then, he is still hooked. He keeps dissecting and explaining why he left.
Even when it doesn’t make sense, he keeps talking about it. This means, he is still in denial and has not fully understood it yet. So he can’t even move on.
6. They Want To Remains Friends
This can be very tricky. It could be their way of trying to get you back; or, their way of escape losing you.
So, they are still there; whenever you call on them and are still friends with you. They may not be ready to lose you totally yet.
So, this way they can still have you around. Usually, when this occurs they still want to be more than friends but are more subtle about it.
7. They Stay In Touch With Your Friends
If they are not pretending to be over you, they have no reason to keep in touch with your friends. Except, it’s for business or something of much importance.
So, if they are still calling and having long talks with your friends then they have not truly cut ties with you. Your ex may be hanging out with your friends with hopes to bump into you.
8. People Around Them Try To Get You To Reconcile
These people are around him and they see his state. Thus, they will naturally try to help him. They try to convince you to check upon him.
They know he is not over you yet, and are probably still devastated by the breakup. So in their own way, they will want to bring you two together again.
If they see you, they’ll urge you to call him to know how he is doing. They may even tell you he misses you.
9. They Are Stalking You On Social Media.
You have broken up; yet, they are the first to like and comment on your picture on social media. It means they are not over you yet and just pretending.
Even if they did it when you two were still together, now it’d be even more serious. He doesn’t just like and comment on your posts but he does that as soon as you post them.
10. They’re Refusing To Date Someone Else
If they are refusing to date someone else; even after so much time has passed, they are have not moved on. The excuse they give is usually unrealistic and vague.
Like how they are taking time to love themselves or how they are working on themselves.
There are two reasons they may be doing this, it’s either they are still healing from the breakup or they hope to still get back together with you.
11. They’re Not Sticking To One Person
They are just hopping from one person to another; and, not staying faithful to one person. Today you see them with Tracy, tomorrow it’s Linda.
Meanwhile, when you two were together, they were committed to you. Something is definitely wrong with them. They are not over you just yet.
12. They Still Maintain Contact Even When It’s Not Necessary
Although, they do not have to be in contact with you; yet, they will still call once in a while to check up on you. The reason is simple, it is because they miss you.
This is a very obvious sign’ your ex is pretending to be over you. He won’t just stay off the radar; he will call and send messages when he feels like.
13. They Show Off Their Accomplishment
They are not over you if they are showing off their improvement in your face. You don’t need to know what they have achieved.
No one actually parades their growth, in front of people they don’t care about. His reasons may be in two ways; either he is trying to get you jealous and regret the break-up or he wants you to see his growth and see that he is improving
They Don’t alter Their Schedule and keep running into you.
If your ex has moved on, they will adjust their schedule to avoid awkward moments when they run into you. Rather they maintain the same schedules you are used to in hopes to run into you. They may come with another girl just to get you jealous or they may genuinely just want to see you.
14. They don’t let you get your things and even leave theirs behind.
Are they still holding on to a shirt of yours even after a lot of time has passed? Did they refuse to come to get some of their things left at your place?
It’s not the things that are that valuable to them; they just holding on to it for sentimental reasons. Because they probably miss you. They may even be waiting for you to come to get it so they can spend time with you. People who hope to get back together after a breakup have not really moved on.
15. They are refusing to publicly acknowledge the breakup
It’s because your ex has not moved on so they are still holding on. They will refuse to admit that you are gone because to them, you will still get together. If someone asks them they will rather say you guys are having a misunderstanding rather than you have broken up. On their social media, they will not change their relationship status. They are obviously struggling to let you go.
In the end, what matters is what you want for yourself. They may be showing any of these signs, good or bad but you still get to choose your next step. Either to take them back or break it off completely. So be sure to make the best decision for yourself since you don’t really know what their motive will be if you allow them back into your life,
ALSO, READ 10 Early Signs Of An Insecure Man
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