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Depression in a Relationship, Causes And What To Do



Depression in a Relationship

Last Updated on June 15, 2024 by Joshua Isibor

Depression is defined as a medical condition in which the symptoms reflect one’s mood and how one functions. A depressed person would feel sad, moody, and devastated. Diagnosis of depression can come in different forms ranging from acute to chronic depression.

Depression is a very serious condition, and if it’s not treated, it can become worse.

Depression is a mental problem that affects a lot of people worldwide. It’s termed a mood disorder. Most times, people misuse the word depression; they mistake sadness for depression.

They are both different. However, being sad is a symptom of depression.

In terms of depression, it’s a pang of intense sadness.

Different factors can characterize depression in relationships. When you feel depressed in a relationship it could be as a result of how you feel about yourself or your partner in the relationship or what you are not getting from your spouse.

Relationship depression can also be likened to mental health conditions because your emotions run together with your mental stability.

If the heart is not at rest and you are emotionally unstable your mental health will also be disturbed.

Those suffering from depression experience both physical and mental symptoms which include:

1. feeling sad, worthless, or guilty

2. feeling disgusting or angry

3. Extreme low self-esteem

4. Weakness and fatigue

5. Finding it difficult to concentrate or make decisions

6. Eating excessively or less than usual

7. Sleeping more or less than usual

8. loss of interest in things that give fun, such as hobbies or socializing

9. loss of interest in sex, libido, or sex drive

10. Having suicidal  thoughts

These symptoms can range from mild to severe. Before you are diagnosed with depression, these symptoms must occur from time to time or even on a daily basis.

In this article I will be talking about how depression arises in a relationship; there are some peculiar causes of depression in a relationship.

Most times relationship depression occurs as a result of how one is treated by his/her partner, heartbreak, divorce, etc.

However, it could be due to what happened in a past relationship, trauma from past events, threats, unresolved issues, lack of trust, etc.

ALSO, READ How To Date Someone With Depression

Causes of Depression In A Relationship

Relationships can be a source of joy and comfort, but they can also become stressful and unexciting, and one may feel depressed when one does not receive what one expects from one’s partner.

Some of the causes of depression include;

1 . Infidelity


Infidelity is a major cause of depression in relationships. Some people can be affected by their partner’s unfaithfulness, it can cause depression for some; seeing their partner with someone else depresses them. This can result in emotional trauma.

A 2012 case shows that infidelity can lead to suicidal thoughts and also signs of post-trauma stress syndrome.

2. Abuse

Research has shown that abuse can lead to depression and trauma.

Abuse can be emotional or physical abuse. Both males and females experience abuse at some point in life.

Though abuse can be serious and rare, the more common one is emotional abuse, which includes;

1. A controlling, possessive, or manipulative behavior

2. An attitude established to subdue, punish, or break someone down

3. Segregating your partner from your friends and family

4. Long-distance relationships

Though long-distance relationships can be exciting and frustrating, one can miss one’s partner after a long period and worry about the future of their relationship.

5. Relationship breakdown or breakup

Breakup or relationship breakdown can result in depression, especially when one has put in so much to make it work. People suffering from relationship breakdown are likely to become emotionally traumatized for a long time and experience difficult emotional pains such as grief, sadness, loneliness, and fear of making future commitments.

What To Do If You Are Depressed Or In A Relationship

Now you know what causes depression in a relationship, the question is what can I do when am depressed in a relationship, should I quit or continue to endure?

Depression is never a good experience, and one of the best solutions one can give to figure out the cause of depression is to figure out the source of depression before seeking a remedy.

1. Identify the root cause

Identifying the main cause of your depression is a good start it will help you make a good decision and also a possible remedy that will help you get rid of depression.

2. Talk to your partner

When cases like this arise it’s good to discuss with your partner, tell them how you feel and if your depression is due to what they are doing or not doing let them know. Open up to your partner, and don’t feel shy discussing how you feel about your relationship.

3. Seek help

Some people can help you resolve depression. If it becomes unbearable to deal with, seek help from a therapist or talk to someone who can help you in any way they can.

4. Request for extra support

When it has reached the extreme, you can seek extra support. You may decide to visit a counselor. This should not be done without your partner, the counseling sessions should involve both of you. This will facilitate the healing process as your partner will have a role to play.

5. Avoid the don’t s

i.Don’t say dismissive things like “shake it off” or “get over it.”

ii. Don’t force your partner to work things out.

iii. Don’t try to “fix” things alone, and don’t feel bad if you can’t.

iv. Don’t be frustrated that being with them is not making you feel better.

v. don’t offer solutions, or force them to change.

vi. Don’t allow them to treat you like thrash because you feel depressed.

vii. Don’t feel neglected or dejected, try to be lively.


Depression is a serious mental condition that shouldn’t be taken lightly. The earlier you treat it, the better for you.

However, be free to open up, and don’t feel timid or belittled because of your condition; the earlier you seek help, the faster you become well again.

ALSO, READ Interesting ways to deal with DUI depression in

Originally posted 2022-01-18 20:37:48.

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